Testing is fun


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I love taking tests. It’s a way to evaluate how much I have learned and where I need to improve. I am proficient in tests. Even on pop quizzes I always managed to do well. A friend of mine sent me to this site to try out the free assessments. It was kind of fun to see what my scores were. None of them surprised me.

ListeningPage1I am a great listener. Always have been. I listen more than I talk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Page1LearningI love to learn. I read often. I love books. I would rather read books than watch TV and I do so often.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Page2LearningI am a visual learner. Which I already knew. But it was interesting to find out I am a not a tactile learner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Forgiveness

power-of-forgiveness_tForgiving someone is hard. It takes all of your might to really let go of the pain and hurt that you feel. My best advice comes from my own experience. I had to forgive my brother for the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. When I forgave him I looked at him and said it. Then I said I can’t be in your life anymore. It broke my heart, twice.

Danny was my little brother. He was always into trouble. And I took on the typical role of the big brother. Always watching out for him or helping him when things were getting bad in his life. I still have a lot of regret because I feel like I could have done more for him but the truth is, I did all that I knew how to do. I know a lot better now, but he passed away years ago. In my prayers I still ask God to watch out for him. I love him, he will always be my baby brother.

From that I learned that forgiving someone has nothing to do with what they did or say that caused your pain. It’s about releasing that bad energy you are carrying on your heart and lifting the weight off of your shoulders. This is all I can say to you about forgiveness.

Ask the person to stay open to your words in that moment. Ask them that you are going to talk to them about your perspective on the history of what you have. Keep in mind their history is going to be different than yours. Because people that share a hurt together often re-write the facts. Tell them how much what they have done or said has hurt you. Then tell them that you want to share the truth as you know it and ask them to correct anything you have wrong. Offer to listen to their side. This is when it gets really hard. Because most people take a defensive position. They don’t view themselves are someone that would purposefully hurt anyone. This is where staying open is the most important. You may not get back the same story you remember. You may learn the Why or the How from it. And that’s when forgiveness can begin. Say I forgive you for all the things I remember that caused me hurt. Then offer them to forgive you for carrying this hurt all of this time. It’s never going to be a moment of clarity and resolution. That comes within the hours of days of the conversation. But it’s so important to forgive people.

When you don’t forgive someone you are causing pain in your heart. It makes you not fully trust people in your life. It makes you feel like you are less than, that you are not worth this person treating you equal or fair. You feel justified in your pain, but also justified in holding yourself away from this person either physically or emotionally. And that does damage to you. So don’t do that.

Everything can be forgiven. Do you see that? Every act, no matter how horrible can be forgiven. Now that doesn’t mean it should ever be forgotten. Nor allowed to be repeated. But anything with God’s mercy and your open heart can be forgiven. It’s worth a tough conversation to feel the peace you have after your words are exchanged. You are worth it. The other person or people are worth it. And you will feel a sense of relief in your life.

Forgiving someone is important. Make it a priority in your life to forgive everyone. You will live a much happier, fuller life. I promise you that! I love ya’ll. God loves you too!

Because we are sinners we should forgive others

Matthew 6:14-15 NIV

The Book of Mormon – 3 Witnesses

220px-Three_Witnesses_of_the_Book_of_Mormon_Depiction_by_Edward_Hart,_October_1883  The Testimony of 3 witnesses – 5:44

It is a record of 3 witnesses Oliver Cowdery ,David Whitmer ,Martin Harris. They witnessed Joseph Smith finding the plates that God had added words on that eventually became the Book of Mormon. They plates were translated from God and the work is true, according to them. The witnesses are just verifying the story. They saw the plates and the engraving and believe they are meant to witness and share the story. They are supposed to obey these commandments of God. They mention the Holy Trinity, which is what Catholics believe. I found that very interesting.

In my Faith, the Holy Trinity is first alluded to in the book of Genesis 1:26:

    Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.”

And alluded to again in John 14:17 says:

    even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him; you know him, for he dwells with you, and will be in you.l

The witnesses all confirmed it to be truth on their deathbeds according to Wiki. So in their lifetime they believed they witnessed this event. I’m still a little skeptical at this point. I need to keep reading.

Wiki – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Witnesses

The 3 Witnesses Text reads:

Be it known unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people, unto whom this work shall come: That we, through the grace of God the Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ, have seen the plates which contain this record, which is a record of the people of Nephi, and also of the Lamanites, his brethren, and also of the people of Jared, who came from the tower of which hath been spoken. And we also know that they have been translated by the gift and power of God, for his voice hath declared it unto us; wherefore we know of a surety that the work is true. And we also testify that we have seeen [sic] the engravings which are upon the plates; and they have been shewn unto us by the power of God, and not of man. And we declare with words of soberness, that an angel of God came down from heaven, and he brought and laid before our eyes, that we beheld and saw the plates, and the engravings thereon; and we know that it is by the grace of God the Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ, that we beheld and bear record that these things are true. And it is marvellous [sic] in our eyes. Nevertheless, the voice of the Lord commanded us that we should bear record of it; wherefore, to be obedient unto the commandments of God, we bear testimony of these things. And we know that if we are faithful in Christ, we shall rid our garments of the blood of all men, and be found spotless before the judgment-seat of Christ, and shall dwell with him eternally in the heavens. And the honor be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost, which is one God. Amen.

The Book of Mormon – Studying

book-of-mormonI have decided to study the Book of Mormon. I have had many, many, MANY religious discussions about it the past few months and I know now that I really don’t know anything about this book. So what a fun idea but to study it here and share it with all of you.

First things first, I am a SON OF CHRIST. I am CATHOLIC. Let me say that again, I am CATHOLIC. I am not converting to anything. I am trying to understand why on Earth there would be a second Testament of Jesus Christ and what’s in it. I know enough to know that I don’t really know anything at all. Huh? That’s how I feel right now about this book. I have promised myself to stay open. I can tell you my first day of really listening to the audiobook of this did not go well at all. I kept stopping it and arguing with thin air Lol Because just the Title page and introduction had me fired up. But with all things, you must stay open. There is a possibility (Maybe) that this book is really a 2nd Testament of Jesus Christ. And if it is, it’s important to me to read it and find out about it. I love to study religion and talk about God. It’s my passion. So why not study a religion I know nothing about and maybe come up with some new thoughts and ideas about life. That’s my goal.

In my life I have read the First Communion Bible – Saint Joseph Edition, Confirmation Bible, 4 different Catholic study Bibles, The King James Bible, The New American Standard Bible, The New American Stanard Revised Bible and the Ignatius Bible. The Bible I worship with is The New American Standard Bible, not the Revised edition. I don’t like the revised edition. I read the Bible everyday at lunch time. It’s my time of reflection and to center myself at my halfway point of my work day. It reminds me to be thankful for my food and also to be thankful for my blessings. I have done that since I was 8 years old. I also pray before each meal. Just a short quick thanks. Even when I’m in a restaurant. And I don’t see anything wrong with that.

I am listening to the audio book from this website:

https://www.lds.org/media-library/audio?lang=eng

Hit the word Scriptures and you will see the link to the audio. I don’t have time to read this book so listening to it as I do other things is about the only thing I will have time for. The first link is 10 hours 23 minutes. And it’s divided up in my audio player into sections so I can stop when I finish a section of it. I like that a lot. Makes it much easier for me to keep track of where I’m at.

Honestly, right now I don’t know about this, guys. This may be so far out there that I want to quit. Or it might open my mind and expand my belief system to really question what it is I believe in. Either way I am excited to see what’s in this book.

I would love feedback as we go along.  I usually don’t allow comments to be posted publicly but I will leave these comments open. Thank you all for reading this today. I look forward to studying with you.

The Book of Mormon, here we go!

Happy Father’s Day

fathers-dayEvery year on Father’s day I think about my dad who has passed away and my son who also passed away.

To my dad, he wasn’t the greatest guy or dad. But he worked very hard and he taught me all that I know about construction. He taught me to work very hard and do your best for the customer. He taught me to have manners and be respectful of my elders. And to stick by your family, even when it’s impossible and hard to deal with.

To my son, he died before he was born to me. 7 months was never enough. Not getting to hold him or see him was the worst part. But knowing he existed has carried me 12 years without him. I loved him the moment I knew he was alive. And I talked to him and sang to him a lot. I prayed with him and for him. I dreamed about him, I wanted him, I love him. He is my son. And I miss him everyday. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him and what he could be now. It took me 10 years to move on with my life and 2 more years to really start dating again. It’s because of him I’m finding my happiness again. I want to live the best life I can while God allows me to stay.

I hope everyone has a great Father’s day. You know it’s not about getting dad a present or cooking out on the grill for him. It’s telling him today how much you appreciate him. All that he is, all he has taught you, all he has done in his life. That’s what all dads really want to hear on Father’s Day.

I will be going to Paris for the next week on business. I blackout all social media while I’m gone. I will talk to you all soon. God loves you and I love ya’ll too!

Looking for Love

looking_for_love_by_marii85In my experience love shows up the moment God wants it to. If you go out looking for love, you will find it. But it will be the wrong kind of love. I have had a few relationships in my life. One with Lisa, who I met when I was a freshman in high school. She was my first everything. We dated until we graduated college and I told her I was joining the Marines. We broke things off because I didn’t feel it was fair we try to stay together while I was going to be away so long. 8 years later I came back home and she was single. We started right back where we left off. We moved in together, shared worship at Church, and tried to reconnect but it wasn’t the same. I loved her but I had grown, changed into a new version of what she knew. So we struggled. Then we found out she was pregnant. We weren’t meant to have children yet. The moment she told me I was totally shocked then I scooped her up and fell madly in love with our baby. We found out we were having a son. MY SON. And I couldn’t have been happier.

What happened after is that we again struggled to find ourselves. I felt that I loved her, because she was all I knew about women. In the 8 years away I stayed faithful to my commitment to her. It just felt like the right thing to do. I never dated, or anything else with anyone. I was too busy working on myself and working in my job assignment. I guess I had a romantic notion that I would come back to the States, knock on her door and she would instantly fall in love with me. But in reality that didn’t happen. She felt safe with me. I treated her very nicely. And what I found out years later is that she hadn’t been treated nicely by men while we were apart. She claimed she was faithful to me and I believed her. It was not the truth and that part surprised me but I accepted it. Why would anyone wait 8 years for me?

We got engaged because of family pressure. We had talked about marriage before but for some reason I would never take that step. That was God telling me she wasn’t My One. But when you know someone for so many years you tell yourself these stories about faith and love and how you should do something. What you should do is listen to your own heart and mind and pray for answers. People change. Relationships change and it hurts. Let me tell you. When I look back now I can clearly see where the problems were. We were not honestly communicating with each other. I was working, I came home and I did what she told me to do. I just handled her to do list. We would go to bed and have intimate times but not like I wanted. I’m sure not like she wanted to. It was just doing what a couple is supposed to do. I wasn’t creating love and finding the pureness of our devotion. Eventually we stopped being intimate and I just tried to take care of her and the baby the best I could.

Then she was in an accident. When Lisa was 7 months pregnant she was hit head on by a drunk driver. The baby and Lisa were killed instantly. It devasted me to the darkest level. I could not believe that happened to her and our son. I still can’t. I struggled to accept she was really gone. I felt myself living a life waiting for her to walk through the door. I went into thearpy and probably lost my mind. I was a functioning anger monster. I was so pissed that God would do that. I didn’t understand anything anymore and moving on was just not an option for me. I went into robot mode. I went to work and went home. Eventually I started hanging out with my friends again but nothing was the same. Dating was not an option. I was not in a place where I could let my heart move forward. It took 10 years before I was even really ready to try to date again.

In those ten years I had time to figure out what it was I really wanted for a wife. I wrote this list and put it in my wallet and told myself when you meet the right girl I can take it out. For me I was manifesting my greatest love. I put all of my beliefs and faith in God to let love find me. And that’s what you have to do in life. You end relationships and it hurts. No matter the circumstances, it’s a very painful experience. But what you don’t know in that moment is that you will be okay. Because God is about to show you a greater love than you knew. Patience is not my strong point when it comes to things I want. And I wanted nothing more than a wife. Here is my list of things I narrowed down that would fit who I truly needed in my life.

1. Godly woman
2. Kind heart
3. Family oriented
4. Loves and Wants kids
5. Shares her heart with me often
6. Dreams big
7. Loves to travel and have adventures
8. Can deal with my big life
9. Allows me the courage to be me and not ask me to change
10. Loves to smile

To me, these are the most important things. They are all I need to life my life with the right woman. And I pray it’s what I have found in my current relationship. You can find love again. But don’t go looking for it. The right person is there, somewhere. Making their way to you. And when you finally feel soul connected, nurture it. Be thankful to God everyday for this love. Bless your other half with sweetness and kindness. There is no rush in finding the right kind of love. If you rush a relationship and not nurture it into a solid foundation of friendship and respect, you will regret taking your heart into a place it doesn’t belong.

I have found a wonderful woman who had chosen to spend her time with me. We are talking about marriage and kids. She has one and wants more. We are sharing our thoughts and feelings, our frustrations and misunderstandings. We are communicating. It’s hard. Let me tell you guys, talking about your feelings is like eye rolling boredom. But when you start doing it more and more, it becomes natural and it’s not a pain in the backside at all. I grow and learn from her. She is teaching me about kindness. She is so sweet. So gentle with me. Until I piss her off. Then put on a helmet Lol But the greatest lesson she taught me was to never give up. Her faith in God and in me is very strong. We are building a new kind of love. We turned a good friendship into a great relationship. And I am very happy. So is she.

God has the right person for you. Be patient and don’t go on a search. Your special someone will find you I promise you that. And when you find them, wake up in joy everyday because Love is the greatest feeling in the world!

Hope you guys have a wonderful Saturday. God loves you. I love ya’ll too!

Rowboat Book Club Book #30

I did not want to read this book but a lot of our Club members wanted it. So this month we will be reading American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis.

Plot

Set in Manhattan during the Wall Street boom of the late 1980s, American Psycho follows the life of wealthy young investment banker Patrick Bateman. Bateman, in his mid-20s when the story begins, narrates his everyday activities, from his recreational life among the Wall Street elite of New York to his forays into murder by night. Through present tense stream-of-consciousness narrative, Bateman describes his daily life, ranging from a series of Friday nights spent at nightclubs with his colleagues—where they snort cocaine, critique fellow club-goers’ clothing, trade fashion advice, and question one another on proper etiquette—to his loveless engagement to fellow yuppie Evelyn and his contentious relationship with his brother and senile mother. Bateman’s stream of consciousness is occasionally broken up by chapters in which he directly addresses the reader in order to critique the work of 1980s pop music artists. The novel maintains a high level of ambiguity through mistaken identity and contradictions that introduce the possibility that Bateman is an unreliable narrator. Characters are consistently introduced as people other than themselves, and people argue over the identities of others they can see in restaurants or at parties. Deeply concerned with his personal appearance, Bateman gives extensive descriptions of his daily aesthetics regimen.

After killing Paul Owen, one of his colleagues, Bateman appropriates his apartment as a place to host and kill more victims. Bateman’s control over his violent urges deteriorates. His murders become increasingly sadistic and complex, progressing from simple stabbings to drawn-out sequences of rape, torture, mutilation, cannibalism, and necrophilia, and his grasp on sanity begins to slip. He introduces stories about serial killers into casual conversations and on several occasions openly confesses his murderous activities to his coworkers, who never take him seriously, do not hear what he says, or misunderstand him completely—for example, hearing the words “murders and executions” as “mergers and acquisitions.” These incidents culminate in a shooting spree during which he kills several random people in the street, resulting in a SWAT team being dispatched in a helicopter. This narrative episode sees the first-person perspective shift to third-person and the subsequent events are, although not for the first time in the novel, described in terms pertaining to cinematic portrayal. Bateman flees on foot and hides in his office, where he phones his attorney, Harold Carnes, and confesses all his crimes to an answering machine.

Later, Bateman revisits Paul Owen’s apartment, where he had earlier killed and mutilated two sex workers, carrying a surgical mask in anticipation of the decomposing bodies he expects to encounter. He enters the perfectly clean, refurbished apartment, however, filled with strong-smelling flowers meant, perhaps, to conceal a bad odor. The real estate agent, who sees his surgical mask, fools him into stating he was attending the apartment viewing because he “saw an ad in the Times” (when in fact there was no such advertisement). She tells him to leave and never return.

Bateman’s mental state continues to deteriorate and he begins to experience bizarre hallucinations such as seeing a Cheerio interviewed on a talk show, being stalked by an anthropomorphic park bench, and finding a bone in his Dove Bar. At the end of the story, Bateman confronts Carnes about the message he left on his machine, only to find the attorney amused at what he considers a hilarious joke. Mistaking Bateman for another colleague, Carnes claims that the Patrick Bateman he knows is too much of a coward to have committed such acts. In the dialogue-laden climax, Carnes stands up to a defiant Bateman and tells him his claim of having murdered Owen is impossible, because he had dinner with him twice in London just a few days prior.

The book ends as it began, with Bateman and his colleagues at a new club on a Friday night, engaging in banal conversation. The sign seen at the end of the book simply reads “This is not an exit.”

Banned or Blocked

banned  I finally found out how to ban and block people from reading my blog. In looking through the list I found out Discovery Communications came to my blog Lol Why? What the $%@# do I say that ya’ll need to know about. So weird.

I see that I’ve gotten a lot of hits over the last few weeks. And I am enjoying all of the comments. I’ve been up in Utah all day today. We made offers on 3 houses. I was only looking for 2. But if it’s a good deal I can expand the house flipping up there. I’m going to Paris in a few days. I will be there for a week. I have been planning/talking about this trip for months. I can’t wait to get there. I will have to work from 9am to 3pm each day but I look forward to having my evenings to fun. Paris will always be one of my favorite places to visit. I love every moment I spend there.

I don’t share a lot about my girlfriend because she has asked me not to, however I did tell her I was going to share this. Last night she asked me to marry her. It was such a sweet moment. I asked her why did she ask me that. She said because I love you and I want to be married to you. She is so incredibly sweet. I can’t believe she asked that. She knows that’s not how our proposal will go. It’s my job to ask her. But knowing she’s thinking about proposal, marriage, I must be doing something right. We had such an amazing time last night. We laughed for hours. She kept making me laugh even harder. I am so blessed to have her in my life. Then I started making her laugh. So hard she got a charlie horse in her leg Lol I just love her. She really is all I have ever wanted. We knew each other a little while before we started to really get to know each other better. And now 6 and a half months later we are in love and happy. We are seriously talking about me moving full time to Chicago and us sharing our life there. She means the world to me and I am excited to continue our relationship on this beautiful path. She is amazing to me. Her heart is pure gold. She is the best person I know. And she loves me for all that I am. I told her from day one, stay open to this. Let’s see what happens. And she did. We stay open, we communicate, we argue, then we make up 😉 We have an honest and real conversation about everything. I’m reminding her to find and use her voice. She told me for a long time she didn’t feel like she could be heard. I remind her everyday what she thinks, feels, and say are very important. And boy does she let me know Lol I love that she is becoming more of who she wants to be. And in return I am becoming more of who I am. That’s all I wish to share about her because she is so special and sacred to me. I wish to keep her all to myself a little while longer before she becomes apart of all of this.

Thank you for coming here. I hope you guys had a great day! I know I did.