March 1, 2015

I have known Meri before all of this started publicly. We had talked back and forth but it was the night of the Divorce episode, last season’s finale show that we began talking so people noticed. We began talking on Twitter. Then she followed me on Twitter and we began Direct Messaging. Here are the public tweets that I sent out that day. This is from my Twitter archive. We did not start Direct Messaging each other until March 2nd. I have all of those too.

With twitter you have to read from the bottom up. Sorry about that format but that’s how it archived.

0102040506

Closure

Good morning everyone. The media that keeps adding my name to this ridiculous catfish story with Meri is exhausting. I did not catfish her. Lindsay did not catfish her. And I don’t know who Jackie is. But the media, without adding any type of proof, likes to mix and match things to make it into whatever sensational story that will sell their magazines. Bravo to them for having zero journalistic integrity. At all.

The reason why I do not want to work with reporters is because they want to turn my 6 month affair into a paragraph that will include maybe 2 sentences coming directly from me. No thanks. And there is so much false information out there. I tried clearing things up by posting voicemails and sharing intimate photos, a facetime video and other things. But that wasn’t good enough. So I removed all of it. Yet all of this attention keeps coming and coming. Is my biggest mistake in life really that interesting? I don’t at all regret the affair. I feel bad that it hurt her family and friends. That it hurt her, but I don’t regret it. She does. That was the best 6 months of my life with an amazing woman who I wanted to be with, forever. And that’s the truth. The other truth is I’m still in love with her. That doesn’t mean I have any fantasy that she will someday come back to me. That ship sailed for both of us August 30, 2015 and I am moving forward with my life. It’s not going very fast, but I am taking one day at a time.

I never wanted our affair to go public. The reason that it did was because her friend started harassing me. And got new trolls friends to join in. I stayed quiet for 2 and a half months. Daily harassments. And finally I had enough. So I started sharing my side.

I have stood right here in my truth the entire time saying  I did not catfish her, I am a guy, I am real, and I am in love with her. It’s everyone, who were not involved at all by the way, that comes up with these fascinating, crazy stories. How would they know? For 6 months she was lying to her family, I was lying to my family, and no one knew anything. The rumors started on twitter, but really took off June 1, 2015. And we worked hard to squash them. But eventually it had become so public and noticeable everyone was asking questions. By July 20th we unfollowed each other on twitter, after being very public and very much in love and that was the birth of the catfish story. Someone made it up.

My guess on why Meri is saying I catfished her publicly is because she does not want to admit her feelings to her husband, her family, and her kids. She does not want to really be open about how she felt about me, or what plans we had to get her out of there. How she wants a different life and a love that she has never had the chance to experience. The truth is, up until August 23rd that is, she wanted to move out, be with me, date, get married, and have kids with me. And that’s what we were working on. But her filming schedule kept going on and on and on. And we were fighting because I was impatient, I was frustrated, and I had felt like this was never going to go anywhere. Her life is so busy. She has so much going on. Yet we found time to fall in love. We balanced it out to make each other a priority. And that’s the story no one is hearing. Because no one is telling it, until today.

I want all of this to go away. I want to say my side without it getting twisted into something it never was. And I want everyone to know I never intended for this to go public.

Think about it, as much proof as I have that we were a couple, I do not sell it to the tabloids. I have talked to a few of them. And they all are pushy, obnoxious, and kind of sleezy. All except one. RadarOnline. They seem to want to work with me about this. InTouch Weekly, is a joke. Look at all their other stories they “report on” and you can smell the bullshit on each page. They harass you until you give them what they want. And then, when you refuse to talk to them or give them anything else, they go out of their way to create the story they want. You don’t believe me? Go ask anyone that has ever ended up in their magazine. They offered to write my story. I talked to a reporter, then decided she was shady. She talked to Kendra and offered her $5,000 for all exclusive rights. It was turned down because it’s not for sale. It never has been.

Anyone claiming I was trying to extort Meri is a liar. And Meri can admit that. I have never said anything to her about wanting money to keep me quiet, or wanting her back or I will spill all our details. That never happened. What has happened is her friends continuing to harass me. I never asked Meri for anything other than to stay open to what this connection was and to love me. That’s it. I bought her gifts, wrote her love letters, and sent her flowers. Among many other things. The one thing I did not do is love her enough for us to make it through. When we broke up it was an epic fight. And I realized it had to be done. She wanted it done, I wanted it done. It was done. Yes, I miss her. Very much. She is awesome. And someday if she ever came back and I was still single I would definately want to sit down and talk. But I’m not sitting around waiting for her. I’m dating. I’m trying to get through this. Because I know this is not something I will ever get over. It’s something I have to live with. And that part is so sad to me.

I am going to do my best to share my story. To finally end all of the lies that are being told. The truth is, Meri knows what happened and I know what happened. The only other person that was privy to our relationship was Lindsay who became our sounding board to talk things out. It was a difficult situation and we both needed someone to talk to. Lindsay and Meri became friends.

Anyone saying that Lindsay catfished Meri is a liar. The truth is Lindsay is not a lesbian, can not stay in a relationship longer than a week, she gets bored of the guys she dates, and she was a friend to Meri. She would not do anything like that. I have known her over 20 years and she is loyal. She is direct and does not mince words. She is very quiet and knew this would cause problems if she ever told anyone about the affair. She never admitted she knew until after it was over.

This Jackie woman. I don’t know who she is. I am sorry her name is getting mixed in, but she has had nothing to do with this. At all. And I feel bad the press is attaching her names to pictures and claiming she is a catfish. The truth is Lindsay is not Jackie. I am not  Jackie and I am not Lindsay. I am Samuel. Always have been and it’s time to clear that up.

If you have questions please leave a comment. I answer them as I see them. Some of the comments are mean and I delete those without even reading the whole thing.

I’m not telling you to believe me. I’m asking you to just look at everything I share and make up your own mind. Because this story is so complicated it’s gotten out of control.

But the real story is very simple. I fell in love with a married, polygamist reality tv star. And we had an affair. That’s it.