Good morning everyone. The media that keeps adding my name to this ridiculous catfish story with Meri is exhausting. I did not catfish her. Lindsay did not catfish her. And I don’t know who Jackie is. But the media, without adding any type of proof, likes to mix and match things to make it into whatever sensational story that will sell their magazines. Bravo to them for having zero journalistic integrity. At all.

The reason why I do not want to work with reporters is because they want to turn my 6 month affair into a paragraph that will include maybe 2 sentences coming directly from me. No thanks. And there is so much false information out there. I tried clearing things up by posting voicemails and sharing intimate photos, a facetime video and other things. But that wasn’t good enough. So I removed all of it. Yet all of this attention keeps coming and coming. Is my biggest mistake in life really that interesting? I don’t at all regret the affair. I feel bad that it hurt her family and friends. That it hurt her, but I don’t regret it. She does. That was the best 6 months of my life with an amazing woman who I wanted to be with, forever. And that’s the truth. The other truth is I’m still in love with her. That doesn’t mean I have any fantasy that she will someday come back to me. That ship sailed for both of us August 30, 2015 and I am moving forward with my life. It’s not going very fast, but I am taking one day at a time.

I never wanted our affair to go public. The reason that it did was because her friend started harassing me. And got new trolls friends to join in. I stayed quiet for 2 and a half months. Daily harassments. And finally I had enough. So I started sharing my side.

I have stood right here in my truth the entire time saying  I did not catfish her, I am a guy, I am real, and I am in love with her. It’s everyone, who were not involved at all by the way, that comes up with these fascinating, crazy stories. How would they know? For 6 months she was lying to her family, I was lying to my family, and no one knew anything. The rumors started on twitter, but really took off June 1, 2015. And we worked hard to squash them. But eventually it had become so public and noticeable everyone was asking questions. By July 20th we unfollowed each other on twitter, after being very public and very much in love and that was the birth of the catfish story. Someone made it up.

My guess on why Meri is saying I catfished her publicly is because she does not want to admit her feelings to her husband, her family, and her kids. She does not want to really be open about how she felt about me, or what plans we had to get her out of there. How she wants a different life and a love that she has never had the chance to experience. The truth is, up until August 23rd that is, she wanted to move out, be with me, date, get married, and have kids with me. And that’s what we were working on. But her filming schedule kept going on and on and on. And we were fighting because I was impatient, I was frustrated, and I had felt like this was never going to go anywhere. Her life is so busy. She has so much going on. Yet we found time to fall in love. We balanced it out to make each other a priority. And that’s the story no one is hearing. Because no one is telling it, until today.

I want all of this to go away. I want to say my side without it getting twisted into something it never was. And I want everyone to know I never intended for this to go public.

Think about it, as much proof as I have that we were a couple, I do not sell it to the tabloids. I have talked to a few of them. And they all are pushy, obnoxious, and kind of sleezy. All except one. RadarOnline. They seem to want to work with me about this. InTouch Weekly, is a joke. Look at all their other stories they “report on” and you can smell the bullshit on each page. They harass you until you give them what they want. And then, when you refuse to talk to them or give them anything else, they go out of their way to create the story they want. You don’t believe me? Go ask anyone that has ever ended up in their magazine. They offered to write my story. I talked to a reporter, then decided she was shady. She talked to Kendra and offered her $5,000 for all exclusive rights. It was turned down because it’s not for sale. It never has been.

Anyone claiming I was trying to extort Meri is a liar. And Meri can admit that. I have never said anything to her about wanting money to keep me quiet, or wanting her back or I will spill all our details. That never happened. What has happened is her friends continuing to harass me. I never asked Meri for anything other than to stay open to what this connection was and to love me. That’s it. I bought her gifts, wrote her love letters, and sent her flowers. Among many other things. The one thing I did not do is love her enough for us to make it through. When we broke up it was an epic fight. And I realized it had to be done. She wanted it done, I wanted it done. It was done. Yes, I miss her. Very much. She is awesome. And someday if she ever came back and I was still single I would definately want to sit down and talk. But I’m not sitting around waiting for her. I’m dating. I’m trying to get through this. Because I know this is not something I will ever get over. It’s something I have to live with. And that part is so sad to me.

I am going to do my best to share my story. To finally end all of the lies that are being told. The truth is, Meri knows what happened and I know what happened. The only other person that was privy to our relationship was Lindsay who became our sounding board to talk things out. It was a difficult situation and we both needed someone to talk to. Lindsay and Meri became friends.

Anyone saying that Lindsay catfished Meri is a liar. The truth is Lindsay is not a lesbian, can not stay in a relationship longer than a week, she gets bored of the guys she dates, and she was a friend to Meri. She would not do anything like that. I have known her over 20 years and she is loyal. She is direct and does not mince words. She is very quiet and knew this would cause problems if she ever told anyone about the affair. She never admitted she knew until after it was over.

This Jackie woman. I don’t know who she is. I am sorry her name is getting mixed in, but she has had nothing to do with this. At all. And I feel bad the press is attaching her names to pictures and claiming she is a catfish. The truth is Lindsay is not Jackie. I am not  Jackie and I am not Lindsay. I am Samuel. Always have been and it’s time to clear that up.

If you have questions please leave a comment. I answer them as I see them. Some of the comments are mean and I delete those without even reading the whole thing.

I’m not telling you to believe me. I’m asking you to just look at everything I share and make up your own mind. Because this story is so complicated it’s gotten out of control.

But the real story is very simple. I fell in love with a married, polygamist reality tv star. And we had an affair. That’s it.

42 thoughts on “Closure”

  1. Im confused. Your bio says 43 year old dad of twin boys Heston and Alex. But yet in a comment you say you have no kids? Do you have twins? Or no kids?

  2. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that Meri is still with the family. The affair is out in the open now so it would be a perfect opportunity for her to leave.
    Don’t know what those ladies see in Kody except for a terribly receding hairline.

  3. Well jeez. When all this first came out, I was all against you. Well, not you per se, but the whole catfish probability thing. I really am s normal person with a job and family and am investing far too much time in this (to my hubs’ credit, though, he is too) (good hubs).
    Now, I just don’t know. I know the show and PR will spin anything they can.
    It takes a big person to continue to fight, and I commend you for that.
    To be honest, I still don’t know. But I certainly appreciate your willingness to share. The voicemails are painful though.,,,

  4. This is this what confuses me. Would Meri be willing to leave her family for someone she never met? I am leaning more and more to believing Sam. The only thing that is stopping me from fully believing all of it is that he refuses to send a picture of himself. Why won’t he even tell us why not.

    1. Yes because I was willing to have her remain in the kids lives. That was a condition on when she left. It was very important to her. She told me if I didn’t accept her staying in the kids lives and going to their events we wouldn’t be together. I had no problem with it at all. She helped raise all of them. She is their mom. All of those kids.

      I have never refused to post my photos. I have repeatedly said I will when I get to the point where I need to. Why post a picture and end it there? The story needs to be told to understand what went on. Then finish it with photos so that no one can say it’s all bs.

  5. I am sure TLC is planning to address this in an episode of the show. At this point, Meri will need to explain why she feels she was catfished. We still have yet to see any pics of Meri and Sam together. Maybe they never physically met? It is clear that the affair was VERY real though. But, she may feel catfished if she never physically met Sam. I don’t think it matters if they did or didn’t meet. All of these messages show that she was very much in love and was willing to leave her family to start a new life with Sam. I think with all of this evidence she’ll have to explain more on the show or through an interview. Sam has proved that this was more than some little lighthearted friendship. He is now forcing Meri to prove her catfish story. So, we’ll see how this plays out. I’ve enjoyed reading this blog though!

  6. I wish this would all end soon. I think it’s time to realize that you will always have people that doubt you. Take solace in the fact that God doesn’t sleep. He knows the truth and isn’t that what really matters? Your life will go on, Meri’s life unfortunately will stay the same, miserable. Probably more miserable now than ever before in her life because she had a glimpse of what real live is like, between one man and one woman. She must be kicking herself right now! Keep your chin up. I can’t imagine someone else not falling for you very soon! You are an old soul. An indigo child, very spiritual and deeply loving! Who isn’t looking for that?

  7. If this guy was a catfish he would have disappeared. That’s what catfish do. He is clearly fighting against everybody that will listen to tell his truth. Catfish don’t fight. Catfish don’t care. They hide and run then move onto the next victim. I don’t want to believe Meri cheated. I don’t want to believe polygamy makes you feel so alone and desperate to feel loved. But after reading though it and listening I believe that this guy is real. I believe Meri really is lying. And I believe she is trying to save a show that was losing viewers and have a year or two left before they get cancelled.

    Meri should apologize or fess up get back with Sam and be happy. Because at the end of the day she did admit to having an affair. And to not give out any details at all of what she meant be an emotional affair she claims catfish then shuts up immediately about it.

    Look at past scandals like this. Celebrities go on tv and immediately do a press tour explaining what really happened. What did Meri do? Put out two statements then went back into hiding pretending she never loved Sam.
    That is Meri’s voice. That is Meri in the pictures. And it was Meri that admitted to an affair.
    This guy dishonored her by posting everything. But can you really blame him after all the media with his name attached saying he doesn’t even exist. Would you fight that kind of thing or would you run and hide? Liars keep lying with no proof, people telling the truth become offended then fight.
    And he is fighting like hell here.

  8. I am an attorney. Based on the media reports you do have a slander and defamation of character case against Meri Brown. I urge you to stop posting and use the rest of your proof for a lawsuit.

  9. Just curiousm. How were you and Meri planning on having children? Adoption?
    She’s early to mid forties and her infertility issues have plagued her since the birth of Mariah- it’s been a storyline since the show started.

    1. Because of her stomach issues they had her visit her ob doctor and they did a lot of testing. She is still able to have kids. Our plan was to try on our own right away. Then adoption. Neither one of us want to do infertility treatments. We don’t believe in that as an option for us.

  10. But the media is not attaching your name to this story. You are. No one ever said YOU catfished her. That’s a big huge whoops. If you were really Sam you wouldn’t continue saying that.

    1. The tabloid press claim a woman named Jackie catfished Meri. They say that Jackie pretended to be me and Lindsay. That’s a lie. I am real, Lindsay is real. I have no idea who Jackie is. She has nothing to do with this.

  11. You got me hooked. But if this turns out as bullshit. I’m gonna be pissed. I have your back and have stuck up for you constantly. I hope your real 😊

    1. No. I have never been married. My fiancee and baby died years ago. My family consists of my aunts, uncles, and so many cousins I can’t even count them. My immediate family has all passed away. I want kids. I want a wife. I hope God blesses me with both someday.

  12. Why not lay this all to rest in one fell swoop: post a video of yourself stating your name. Post it here. Post it on YouTube. Post it so there will be no question of Photoshopping or other issues trolls might bring up.

    In the time it has taken you to type all of these lengthy posts, one video could put it all to rest.

    I’m not a “troll” — just someone who finds this all interesting. I have read other sites that post compelling details connecting you to the catfish theory and it seems that you, someone who presents himself in a public way as a successfully businessman, would want to definitively clear this up– especially since this is so public. I’d imagine it could harm your business. Why not clear it all up with a video and then be done?

  13. I suppose even if you would Post pictures people would say this or that. Nothing will satisfy everyone.
    Bottom line is every one should just mind their own business.

  14. Can you please post a picture of you and Lindsey with a newspaper and make it easily accessible instead of requiring codes? I believe that would clear up the confusion.

  15. Just post a picture. I don’t think anything else you say is going to matter much until you prove that you are not Lindsey/Jackie or someone else.

  16. I must admit I am very confused by this whole thing. I don’t know why Lindsey looks so much like Jackie. I am 50/50 on believing you and that’s the truth. It’s a change from 75/25 in favor of catfish. Keep talking please. I am interested in the real truth

  17. I have the simplest of all questions. Why do you refuse to provide public proof of your identity via a photo with something like a current newspaper or magazine (the In Touch one would be ironic don’t you think) to squash all the rumors? You put plenty of energy into these posts when a simple photo would say more than words ever could. I believe this is ultimately why everyone doubts you.

    I am not a troll btw. I have followed this story because I watched the show. I like Meri. I’m willing to be open minded but when such a small act could clear this up yet you always have an excuse not to do so, it seems to speak for itself. Please prove everyone wrong and provide a current photo so that you and everyone else can move on.

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