I love Sunday. I look forward to it all week. In my life Sunday has always been Church day. I get to get dressed up in a great looking suit, shine my shoes and go sit and listen to the stories God wants me to hear. The stories that really matter to my life. And I get to learn about God’s love for me.
Spirituality, Church, God, Love, Hope, all my favorite things to think about. I have studied religion since I can remember. I can’t get enough of it. I question my Faith all of the time. But not my Faith in God. My Faith in myself, in others, and in where my life is going. I’m learning to let go, let God. But that one is tough for me. I like knowing things. I ask a million questions so I can know as much as I can. That’s how you make a wise decision. And that’s my job. To make decisions all day long. My decisions effect a lot of people. My employees, my family. Myself. In order to make the best, wisest decisions I like information. Just like with Church. I’ve read my bible so many times the pages are full of notations, yellow highlites, and sketches. When I eat my lunch I read my Bible. Because that’s my midpoint of the day reflection. When I am out to lunch for a meeting I eat then read it afterwards. Just 2 pages. The next 2 pages from the day before. It keeps me grounded. It humbles me. And that’s why I do it. It’s also all I have ever known. I remember being a kid and we would eat lunch then my mom would sit in the chair holding me and we would read the Bible together. When I went to preschool, the same thing. We would all eat, then Bible time.
God says the Faithful are the strongest, the ones that question are the wisest, and the ones that listen are the carriers of the message. I ask myself, what messages am I carrying today? What did I wake up thinking about? What will Church teach me tonight? I used to go in the mornings. But right now, it’s better that I stay in Church for 2 full services to keep me busy. And I don’t mind. It’s a whole different crowd.
I like the people that come here. Even the mean ones. They are so judgemental and mean it makes me not want to be anything like them. They leave me nasty messages that I delete and ignore. But it’s the nice people in this world that I smile at. They leave me encouragements that I don’t share. If someone took the time to leave me a quick hang in there, that’s just for me. And I thank ya’ll for doing that. I try to repay you by reminding you that God does love you. And I love you too. Because that’s what we are meant to do. Love each other. No matter what.
I know that I am very much loved. I always have been. Because I offer a lot of love in so many ways. I am humbled by all the love I have today. A lot of people do love me. And that’s what gets me through. I found myself not talking a lot the past few weeks. I kind of shut down. That’s not who I am. And that’s not someone any diversity will turn me into. I love my life. I love who I am becoming. And I am so blessed by all that I have. I don’t take it for granted. I’m doing my best and making wise decisions. And I’m going to be okay.
That’s all we want to know about life. Is it going to be okay? I get stuck on the when will it be okay. That’s why I go to Church. It’s why I read books. To fill my mind with positive, loving thoughts. I used to read books just to fill up my empty time. I’m filling that up now with music. I am writing songs again. I’m singing again. I restrung my guitars and started playing. My hand is still a little out of sync but I’m working on it. Music heals me. I listen to music everyday. I like to share my favorite songs. So that others can hear what kind of music I like. No big surprise it’s mostly Christian based songs. And Drake Lol I love Drake. His lyrics are very much about my life. Almost too much. And I like the beats.
I did 2 songs in an Open Mic night last night and it went okay. My singing voice was strong, guitar playing not so much. I need to practice. I’m going to start going every Saturday night. Sometimes I will just watch but I really enjoyed it. I got to meet some very talented musicians. Way more talented than I am. And we encouraged each other. I wasn’t nervous at all. It was just like the old days. Walked on, said Hey and started right in. Then as soon as I’m off that’s when the nerves hit me. And I start thinking of all the things I screwed up on Lol 2 songs, it’s a start!
No matter what anyone has said about me the past few weeks, here I am. Still here. And still doing my best. I’ve been donating time and money to some volunteer things around Las Vegas. I needed to get back into that, it makes me feel really good. I plan to be here for the Breast Cancer walk at the end of October and I will volunteer for that. My health is not up to participating this year which bums me out. The last surgery a few weeks ago kind of took it out of me. I could probably walk it, but this year I think I want to be of service for it. It’s a great cause. Please look into participating in your local walk this month. Or at least donate something. I’m also donating weekly to our local Church Food Bank. Because it lets people in need walk right in and pick up the items. I can physically see my donations being taken into the hands of someone that really does need it. That’s what I support. I also drop of a bag of dog food and cat food weekly to different local shelters. People think they just go buy it, but those places needs help. They need food and toys and everything you would buy for your pet at home. I encourage you to donate to those causes too.
I’m already planning a big Halloween party at my house this year. A DJ, food, booze, and cash and other prizes for best/worst costumes. It’s going to be a lot of fun. And my going away party. I will be moving back to Chicago permanently at the end of October.
I’m starting to find my joy again. My happiness. I was so busy trying to help others find their happiness I forgot to go find my own. I am an Acts of Service guy. That’s my love language. I’ve also read that book a few times. I am happy. I really am.
I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Thank you for coming here. I appreciate you. Know that God loves you and I love you too.