To adopt or not

Yesterday evening I went to an orientation meeting to find out about adoption in the State of Illinois. It lasted about an hour. I went in with a list of questions and had even more questions after I listened to everything. There were only 4 other people there so I felt okay about asking so many things. I went home with a head full of information and a lot to consider.

My cousin’s 18 year old daughter is pregnant with twin boys. They are due in March. She wants to give them up. That’s what started me thinking about this whole thing. And the thought that now with everything going on, who is going to want me now, I am seriously considering it. I am going to pray all weekend and meditate on it. It is a huge decision.

Or maybe I don’t want to adopt the boys and go with a domestic or international adoption. I never thought I would have so many choices. I just want to have kids. And I don’t want to wait around anymore hoping to meet someone to make everything happen. It’s time I start doing things that I want. This whole mess has taught me how many years I have been praying for things without putting action behind it. I’m ready to go. I have always wanted kids. I had wavered back and forth on it for years. Thinking I am too old, it cuts out a lot of my traveling. It’s a lot. I want a family. And I am ready to get my family anyway I can. I think adopting is a calling for me. Adopting has always been something I was interested in but never thought it would work out for me. After last night I’m realizing how easy it would be, it’s a lot of waiting and hoops. Both things I can deal with.

With a kinship adoption that causes some issues within my family. Yes my cousin wants her daughter to have a future. And her daughter has talked to me for a few weeks about this. She says she trusts me with them. She will be able to know for sure how they are doing. And she will be able to spend time with them anytime she wants. She would want an open adoption anyway. For them it’s the perfect solution. For me I see it as other family members causing problems. On Monday if I’m going forward with it I will need to contact an adoption family law and start the process. There will be home studies, all kinds of things I have to set up and go through to get this going.

I just don’t know. It’s a really big decision. And I need God to help me decide.

Have a great weekend everyone! God loves you and I love ya’ll too!