Yesterday evening I went to an orientation meeting to find out about adoption in the State of Illinois. It lasted about an hour. I went in with a list of questions and had even more questions after I listened to everything. There were only 4 other people there so I felt okay about asking so many things. I went home with a head full of information and a lot to consider.

My cousin’s 18 year old daughter is pregnant with twin boys. They are due in March. She wants to give them up. That’s what started me thinking about this whole thing. And the thought that now with everything going on, who is going to want me now, I am seriously considering it. I am going to pray all weekend and meditate on it. It is a huge decision.

Or maybe I don’t want to adopt the boys and go with a domestic or international adoption. I never thought I would have so many choices. I just want to have kids. And I don’t want to wait around anymore hoping to meet someone to make everything happen. It’s time I start doing things that I want. This whole mess has taught me how many years I have been praying for things without putting action behind it. I’m ready to go. I have always wanted kids. I had wavered back and forth on it for years. Thinking I am too old, it cuts out a lot of my traveling. It’s a lot. I want a family. And I am ready to get my family anyway I can. I think adopting is a calling for me. Adopting has always been something I was interested in but never thought it would work out for me. After last night I’m realizing how easy it would be, it’s a lot of waiting and hoops. Both things I can deal with.

With a kinship adoption that causes some issues within my family. Yes my cousin wants her daughter to have a future. And her daughter has talked to me for a few weeks about this. She says she trusts me with them. She will be able to know for sure how they are doing. And she will be able to spend time with them anytime she wants. She would want an open adoption anyway. For them it’s the perfect solution. For me I see it as other family members causing problems. On Monday if I’m going forward with it I will need to contact an adoption family law and start the process. There will be home studies, all kinds of things I have to set up and go through to get this going.

I just don’t know. It’s a really big decision. And I need God to help me decide.

Have a great weekend everyone! God loves you and I love ya’ll too!

 

16 thoughts on “To adopt or not”

  1. Samuel. Life is a river and you have to go where it takes you, I some how stumbled upon this blog and i have found you very intriguing, I read a line that makes me very sad bc I know the feeling all to well… ‘Who will have me now’ Samuel, you a person of value and beauty no matter what life has thrown at you. I would love to have a conversation with you. I would love to get to know you.

  2. I’ve been reading a while but too shy to comment. I just wanted to say… don’t give up on finding that special person for you.

    I had a situation close to yours (not the same for obvious reasons) and it does get better and easier.

    Keep putting good out in the world and stay strong.

  3. I have always wanted to have kids and can’t. I would love to adopt, but it is just too much out of my price range. It’s very frustrating that some people who don’t want kids can create them for free and not take care of them. Then those of us that want them have to pay an arm an a leg to have children and we would take great care of them. Don’t spend any more time hesitating or waiting. If you feel that adopting is your calling please follow it. You don’t want to live with this kind of regret.

  4. I think the children you are meant to have will find you :-). If you are supposed to adopt your cousin’s grandchildren, then it will all work out. If that changes, then I am sure you will figure out the right path, whether that is adopting domestically, internationally, infant, older child, etc. you just have to have faith & trust God.

  5. Sam ~ that is SO not true ~ just reading your blog and hearing about your recent trips and now this HUGE decision to adopt etc I have not thought of the “affair ” as you refer to it AT ALL ~ I shared my story with you about my “affair ” with a married man (not famous that is true ) but I was ashamed of myself for a LONG TIME and ridiculed by everyone~ then when he divorced and we met up years later we hooked. up and feel in love again. What I didn’t tell you is how my friends (so called ) and family practically disowned me ~but we didn’t care love took over and together we built our life and never looked back ~ you are NOT unlovable because of who you fell in love with ~ impossible~ please don’t keep saying that it is not true 💜 When I think of you I think of Sam (notbatmanyet ) who has a story to share and someday soon this sweet, tall , vegan who loves god will find the love of his life !!

  6. Where did Lindsay go? I miss her on Twitter.
    P.s. Adopting within a family can get complicated. Best of luck in what you decide!

    1. Lindsay has her friends from college in town for a girls trip so she’s unavailable until Monday. If they survive the amount of trouble I’m sure all those ladies will get into. The last I called they were at the strip club getting lap dances from a bunch of “muscle studs with no packages”. I think I know what that meant but I really didn’t ask I just hung up when they all started screaming “Take it off” Lol
      Peyton her sister and Lindsay will be here next weekend to go Christmas shopping.

  7. Why did Lindsay go private on Twitter? I don’t have a Twitter account, but I loved reading her funny posts! When will she make it open to the public again?

    1. Monday she is with her college friends this weekend. One of them is getting married and it’s a bachelorette party weekend.

      I get a lot of questions about Lindsay but never answer them.
      I will say she is hilarious and being Australian she has a lot of fun in life. She is one of my best friends and has never judged me for the affair.

  8. Hi Sam I have been reading with interest and continuing to keep you in my prayers ~ you did however say something that puzzled and saddened me and made me reach out again~ you said with everything going on now who is going to want you ~ what did you mean ? Maybe I misunderstood !?

  9. Sam,

    I think it’s awesome to adopt and stop waiting around to find the right person to have children with. I would if I were you really consider your cousins daughters boys. Although, family issues are tough when adopting within and raising twin boys even tougher.. Those boys have your blood line. You know the mother and these boys will be able to stay within the family. No red tape no hoops n no waiting.

  10. Hi Sam,
    You’re not too old. I once was a Nanny for a couple who met later in life and had their first child in their late 40’s. He was a beautiful little boy! So bright, curious and full of wonder. I genuinely don’t think it’s ever “too late” to provide a stable and loving home to a child, and having children in general, so long as you have the time and resources to give them what they need. Having said all of that, admittedly I’ll be 30 in January and I’ve felt the ticking that so many women do, and worry about things… but, you seem like you’d be an amazing father. So patient, kind, and full of love.

    Best of luck with things, whichever route you choose!

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