Strategic planning or something like that

Advertising_Strategies  Since my publisher has zero budget for marketing and advertising my ebook I have to be creative here to get the word out by myself. I’m using the tabloids to put it out there. I hate they write such lies and crap but at least my book is getting mentioned. It’s a wicked trade-off. I laugh every time I see them using some guy’s photo. It was a play on words using a photo and a soccer ball. A symbolic nod to the movie Castaway and the volleyball co-star, Wilson. Obviously that joke didn’t go over well. The poor guy, whoever he is, may not find it so funny at this point. Still funny to me. That’s why you shouldn’t screenshot something from a website and explain in your infinite wisdom what the author is saying. Instead, just ask. Don’t assume because the results make you look really stupid. Again, things that make me laugh in my very public life.

I have no dreams of becoming rich or famous at all. That’s not what I’m trying to achieve. I want my story, my truth, and my words to speak for me. Since there are so many others trying to explain who I am to anyone that will listen I’m choosing to release the first 5 pages of my book on here, for free. That should drum up enough interest for people to want to buy it.

It’s working. In the last 2 days I have sold over 500 more copies. That money isn’t staying in my pocket. I will donate it all to polygamy escape groups. I think we should go full circle on this thing. I hope you all understand escaping from a cult life like polygamy is both scary and financially devastating. You literally leave with whatever you can carry and the clothes on your back. I support anyone that wants to leave this lifestyle. I also support those that choose to stay. It’s their life, let them go as they wish. But I don’t know of any charities that help women or men in polygamy. Is there such a thing? If so, I will donate to them too. I like to keep things fair and balanced.

I hope ya’ll are having a great start to the new year. I know I am. I am in Las Vegas and having a great time with work and meeting new friends. It’s no longer hard to be here. I let all of the bad feelings and hurts go. I had to. God wants me to move past my mistakes. God wants me to show love and compassion. It took me a few months but I really am okay. I am no longer in love with Meri. Her words finally sank in. She was never going to leave to be with me. Which also means she never really loved me. That broke me. But it’s okay now. I’m glad she broke me. I guess at some point she was going to anyway. Better sooner than later? I am happy. I really am. I’m proud of dealing with all of this stuff with as much grace and dignity as I can. I pray for the moments of frustration that have found a voice in me. I also forgive myself for thinking I could love her with all of my heart and make her believe we could have a life together. That was really stupid. What the hell was I thinking? Lol

I hope you have enjoyed reading the first few pages of my book. It will be released soon. To answer the question I get daily, NO that is NOT the cover of my ebook. That is the most ridiculous cover art the publisher sent to me as a sample and I crack up laughing every time I see it. My cover is a lot simpler and better than that. Nice work whoever did this, you really need to be fired. It’s ridiculous. I guess you get what you pay for.

Is it Friday yet? I’m going to Seattle for the weekend. A friend of mine is getting married. I’m so excited to be with my friends. It’s been over 2 years since I’ve seen any of them. The bachelor party Friday night is going to be crazy. After having a crazy New Year’s eve I don’t know how much more partying I can take. Thank goodness I don’t drink alcohol. I would still be recovering.

Speaking of that I went hiking this past weekend. Man my legs were on fire. I woke up the next day like the old man I’m becoming. I thought to myself why did you hike in the canyon for over 2 hours, was it worth it now, big guy? Lol No! I’m in great shape but apparently not hiking shape.

I joined a local gym. I’ve been going after work at night. 5:30 to 7pm. I’m hitting the weight room hard. And doing a little boxing. I have never put on boxing gloves to work out before. I’ve been in a lot of fist fights but I found out my technique of just slugging the heck out of someone as hard as I can just doesn’t work on a big bag. It just makes your hand really sore. I’m a lefty so sparing with some other boxing guys is a huge advantage. I can slip a quick uppercut in there and they don’t see it coming. It also sucks because I am not set up to watch out for any hook shots that come back at me Lol Southpaw FTW!

I am happy. I’m in a good place. It’s nice to be back in Vegas. Work is going really well. Things are calm. I am enjoying the peace in my life. I love ya’ll, God loves you too. Have a great rest of this week!


Page 3 of my book Almost Meri’ed

  ebookcover1Chapter 1

Page 3

That’s how it started. I don’t know why. I stopped questioning soon after it started. It just felt right. Something between us was very powerful. We had a connection from the first moment. I knew something special was going on but I thought it was a friendship. I kept telling her stay open to me. Let’s see where this friendship goes. Stay open and open up to me. I promised to do the same. That’s what we began to do. We started talking a lot. More than we should have. That’s how I know she needed me in her life in that moment. She would contact me, I would reply. That’s how I am with everybody. I rarely initiate conversation because I honestly am too focused on work. I have a million things going on all at once and if I take a step back I always end up missing something. I hate failing at anything. I’m very competitive with myself. I push way too hard, I self-criticize. That’s why nothing any bystander to this affair says hurts my feelings. I get annoyed but that’s the extent of it. I have a thick skin. Growing up the way I did, you had to or you wouldn’t have made it out of that house feeling good at all.
I grew up in Nebraska. It was a home for a big portion of my life. It no longer feels like home when I return to see my family. Everything has changed. We’ll get to that part later.  My mom came from money. Not her family was well off. I’m talking money. Big amounts of money and they made everyone realize it. My dad married her in spite of that, well, because of me. They got pregnant unexpectedly and my grandmother told him he would marry her or else. The or else would be blacklisted for any kind of job in a 5 county area. Which literally would have been the death to his construction business. At the age of 3 we moved to Texas. My dad was chasing the construction boom down there and running away from her family. Now as an adult looking back, I don’t blame him. Nothing he could have done would have ever been good enough and he knew it. That made him angry. Very angry at me because I was the reason he was stuck in his life. He may have loved my mom but it didn’t show very often. The man worked everyday of his life trying to provide for all of us. That much I can say made me proud to be his son. I have never seen another man work as hard as my dad. He was mean, sometimes violent, but he worked hard. That was the accepted excuse growing up in that environment.
Shortly after we arrived in Texas my mom found out she was pregnant. This time it was planned. My little brother Danny was the prince. Being the baby you expect your siblings to get anything they want. This was also because my dad wanted him. I grew up feeling like I didn’t belong to my own family. I was pushed harder than my brother, I was told to lead, to stand up for myself, to protect what was mine and to work for it. My dad told us from early on we will do chores, we will help him on jobs, and we will work for things. He was not raising boys that were handed things. That was throwing shade at my Uncles, my mom’s brothers. None of them worked. Even now, none of them work. They didn’t have to, so they just didn’t. I grew up  thinking my uncles were fun. They were always happy and laughing. They took me on crazy car rides into town. They would buy me candy and tell me to watch out for girls that girls would ruin my life. All of them have been married at least twice. Some more than 4 times. I believe that’s because they don’t have a work ethic. You tend to want to come home and stay home at night after a hard day’s work. Without jobs it was one party to the next blowing money just to stay they can. I didn’t realize they were alcoholics. I just thought they were funny. They had taught all of us to go fetch them another bottle. Meaning more scotch or more whatever was hanging out by the liquor cabinet. I thought it was like soda pop. But for adults only because I was told never to drink it, ever. It was poisonous to kids. I was really dumb when I was younger. Maybe not dumb, just naive. I still am.