Page 5 of my book Almost Meri’ed

ebookcover1  Where was I? Oh yes! As a kid I modeled how my parents acted until my teachers at school kept giving me timeout in the captain’s chair. When I say the captain’s chair you might think that sounds like a really cool fun thing an elementary school student would want to sit in. No. What the nuns made you do is stand in a corner, squat like you were sitting on an imaginary chair with your arms straight out and stand like that until you either fell over, faked a fall to get out of it, or until the kitchen timer went off. It was never long enough that you learned your lesson. I’m sure if that was the goal I would still be in the corner. I was never in trouble for running my mouth off in class. Or pulling pigtails. I always got in trouble because I wouldn’t rat out my friends. They would do stuff that always seem to involve me somehow. Making me pass notes, making me sneeze loud so they could make a weird noise to distract the class at the same time. It was always something. Because I was a good 6 inches taller than anyone else my little brown-haired head was always the one the teacher focused on. I don’t have a very good poker face at all so my big grin always gave it away that I was somehow involved. Instead of wasting time finding out who really did the bad things I would get punished for not giving up any names. It sounds bad but on the playground I had mad street cred for this. All of my friends would high-five me for taking the captain’s chair in stride. Loyalty is a must as a kid to keep your friends.
I honestly believe my parents should have never gotten married. I would pray they would leave each other. Even worse a few times I prayed my dad would never come home. I am ashamed of admitting that but I wanted him gone. By the time I entered high school I had a lot of really good friends I had survived elementary and middle school with.
Then came Lisa. My first everything. She told me on the first day of freshman year that I was going to be her boyfriend. I said okay. Not really knowing or thinking what that meant then went on ignoring her for the rest of the week. Friday after school she told me we had to go on a date so everyone would see we were a couple. I said I don’t have any money and I doubted my mom would give me $10 to go anywhere. She said figure it out see you at Dairy Queen around 6. And that was it. My first date and the beginning of an off and on 15 year relationship with this girl. There was one other girl in between Lisa and Meri, I won’t talk about her. And then Meri. Lisa showed me how to be in a relationship. Meri showed me how to nurture and build a relationship. And the sex with Meri was amazing. She’s really, well I will get more in detail about our sex life in a few more chapters.

Lisa and I got along very well because she understood being Catholic. She didn’t pressure me into anything. She told me what to do, where to be, and who to talk to. I was a sucker for her cute smile. I’m also a people pleaser so doing whatever made her happy was more important to me than doing anything I wanted. It made me happy to make her happy. By the way, don’t be like that in relationships. It eventually makes you resentful. I know that now.

About Samuel

Single dad of 4 beautiful kids, Heston & Alex my twin boys, and my daughters Peace and Sky. Dad of 2 angel babies in Heaven, Ryan and Talon. Divorced. Semi-retired app developer, business partner, Commercial Real estate investor, Chicago Bears & Chicago Cubs fan, vegan, lifelong Catholic, voting independent party member, guitar playing singer who owns a dog, and 2 cats. We live in beautiful Denver, Colorado. I started my first blog Janaury 1st, 2012. Official owner of and @NotBatmanYet Twitter account.
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