I wasn’t able to get to the gym yesterday because I was stuck working on things. My emails got backed up because I went to a ski resort in Utah all weekend. I was frustrated about that.
Tonight I made sure to get off work on time. Met Ben at the gym and decided it was boxing night. We hit the heavy bag and try to learn how to efficiently throw punches. There are a few guys in there that seem to know what they are talking about that help us out. Somewhere something got said about me sparring with someone else. I said no way. Someone called me a baby. So I said let’s do this.
Keep in mind I have been in a lot of fist fights. When I was younger. I haven’t been in a fist fight in…I can’t remember. In a fight I’m the guy that stands up and says which one wants some of this. Because I’m an arrogant prick due to my size. I’m 6’6″ and tower over most of the guys I see around. In a fight, I punch once in the mouth. If the guy is still standing I will take a shot at the eye. And if that doesn’t do it, another one in the mouth. When you are actually fighting you kind of just land punches wherever you can because half of the time you are moving or being moved and you throw one out there and hope to connect. I have never been knocked out. I’ve been knocked on my ass before. I admit that. I also admit to knocking more people on their ass than I have been. That’s not my point.
My point is this. I did not want to box tonight. I didn’t want to box tomorrow night of the night after that. I’m not in a boxing kind of workout mood. Especially with some guy who I know can out punch me. I’m a southpaw slugger. One punch is all I’m used to dealing with. We got our gloves on. The mouth guard in. Ding ding. Let’s ready to rumble? Oh s***!
So this guy, who I now believe must be in the boxing hall of fame, does this bob and weave move and knocks me right in the gut. Which lurches me forward. Wait! Is lurch a word? Did I just make that up from the Munsters or is that an actual verb? Anywho, I’m bent over a little and he clocks me right in the chin. We are about .000003 into the round. I decided that going toe to toe with this guy isn’t my best idea so I start walking away from him. Guess what guys? Never turn your back in a boxing ring! Not even to run Lol
He nails me in the side with a shot that unhinged an internal organ. I haven’t figured out which one yet because I’m still sitting here with an ice pack taped to my side. I will let you know later. I stumble forward but now I’m pissed. Not at him. He’s just doing what a boxing legend of his caliber is meant to do. I’m made at myself. But mostly, I’m mad at Ben for calling me a baby Lol
I turn around and decide to throw a punch. I hit mid-air. Proud moment, folks. I throw another one and this time hit the top of his forehead. Okay, wasn’t exactly where I was aiming but I’m drunk on pain. I let out some sort of prehistoric growl and unload a really solid shot to his mouth. It’s the only place I know to punch that’s effective.
He pulled his arm back so far, I had time to look at Ben, look back at the guy, and look back at Ben before his fist made contact. He knocked me right in the left eye. My good eye! And I stumble back 2 steps. Okay okay, I went back like 4 steps.
I know this may sound really stupid. But when you get talked into getting in a boxing ring you really aren’t thinking that this is going to hurt. You tell yourself, “I’m going to kick ass!” You run through all the Rocky movies you have seen and you try to guess what round you will knock your opponent out in.
I was done. Punched in the face. My EYE, MY EYE! All of it. I throw my hand up and said I’m done. Well with my mouth piece in it came out like I’m fuuuunnnnnnmmmmm. But I quit. I went over to the corner where I was called a few other names until they saw what I had already known. My left eye was starting to close up. Ben said, “Grab the blade we’ll slice it like in Rocky 3”. That started an actual debate on what movie that scene was really in. And no one was paying attention to my eye. So I left. I got in the locker room. Grabbed an eyespack, <— See what I did there Lol And left.
And now I’m home. I taped an icepack to my side. It’s sore. I have made a headband out of a pillowcase to hold an icepack to the side of my face and I’ve already called 5 people to tell them I kicked ass in boxing tonight.
I’m having a bad day guys!