What was that? I just dropped the baby!

not-cool  This morning I had to load up the babies and take them to their doctor for a checkup. This is the very first time we have left the condo. My nanny and I debated about what to put them in. My awesome dad skills were on top because I did not buy them winter coats for babies. Yes they have those. I had to run out and get them last night. So we put them in the coats, had the hats on them and put them in 2 pairs of socks. Then we threw really thick blankets over the car seats. I sent the nanny down first to warm up the Escalade. She also took the baby bag and whatever else we need in my backpack. Then it was my turn. She pulled the Escalade right by my elevator to make it a really short walk into the vehicle. That actually helped a lot.
Nothing says new dad like the time you drop one of the babies in the car seat. Mind you it was only less than a half of a foot drop but believe me the tears welled up and I almost had a panic attack. I need to work on my loading in the car skills. It freaked me out. But I recovered because we were running late and it was cold.
Oh yeah, the one thing no one told me was anytime you take the twin newborns out with the nanny everyone automatically assumes she’s my wife. When I started laughing because she is 24 years old and looks 18, she shot me a look like you better stop snorting at that. So I did. I talked to her about it later and we have agreed to let her answer that from now on. I never realized people would say that to me. Me with a 24-year-old Lol No beeping way! Way, way, way too young. My birthday is next week and I am feeling all 42 and whatever years I am today.
Heston, my big chunk of a son, is doing great. Thriving, gained a little weight and doing very well. He is alert and wiggly. All good signs.
Alex has decided to scare daddy. Fitting since he is the one I dropped this morning. I ratted myself out immediately and told the nurse, the nurse’s aid, the doctor, and probably the waiting room parents that I dropped my baby this morning. They did a very thorough check and said it didn’t hurt him at all. Then the doctor did the one thing a parent never wants to hear, he made a joke about me dropping my newborn. He said, “Don’t worry his brain damage won’t show up until he’s in high school Hahahahaha”. I swear if this guy could have high 5’ed himself he would have. Alex is not thriving. He spits up a lot. Apparently more than I realized. The nanny and I had been talking about it daily. Remember I did call in the other day about it and I was given some good advice on feeding him, as well as some gas drop things to help him. But we all agreed if he is still underweight in 1 week when I bring him back, then we are taking both of the boys off of the vegan formula I have. We hope it’s just gas or maybe a hard time digesting. But I have no problems going with normal formula if that’s what is going to help him. Then I made a dad joke and didn’t get one laugh. It was very lame anyway.
The boys are fine. They are doing okay. We just have to get Alex to eat better. I learned some ways to sit him up better and got advice on some products to buy to help with sitting him up properly. The nurse was nice enough to say it happens to a lot of first time parents don’t beat myself up. But we all know I’ve been beating myself up all day long. Ugh!
Oh and we ran out of Diet Coke which is the one thing my nanny told me she requires in the house at all times. So I ran into a store and bought her 6 cases of it. She should be stocked up for a long time Lol I came back with it in the cart and she said You spoil me. I said no, you are helping me late at night you need to your Super Juice to stay up!
We are finally in a routine. It’s going really well. And I’m able to sleep. Not all night. I don’t mind getting up at all. It does take me a few minutes but once I’m up I love holding them. We finally got them on a synched up sleeping schedule. That helps out a lot. My nanny is taking off tomorrow and letting the backup nannies split shifts tomorrow. It will be fun to work with them one on one finally and see how we all do. They are all 3 very sweet girls, young, loud, but very good with my boys. It’s nice seeing the babies with them.
So when do they start being more fun? They just kind of lay there. They wiggle. Make little noises but nothing loud. I can’t wait until they start moving around more. I want to crawl all over the floor with them and roll around. Right now all I’ve done is just hold them, kiss their heads, and talk to them. I’ve been reading books to them too. I heard once on tv that babies can absorb a parent’s tone and feel more relaxed. I kept running out of things to say to them that didn’t sound corny over and over so I began reading books. It’s working they fall asleep. Or they are just faking it so I shut up Lol
Either way my boys are okay. It’s been over a week and I haven’t done anything horribly wrong. Well I did drop Alex but I swear it sounds worse than it was. And he was fine.
I love being a dad! It’s the best job in the world! I hope ya’ll are having a great weekend with lots of fun plans and awesome family time.
God loves you and I love ya’ll too!


3 nannies and 2 babies later

request-a-nanny  Hey everyone! I am finally getting a little time to write today. The question everyone keeps asking me, how is it going? Let me tell you how it’s going!??!!

I had 24 people come to see me and the boys over the weekend. Family and friends. They stayed in hotels nearby and checked on both me and my cousin’s daughter. I really didn’t expect my family to show up here. I did expect my friends, they know how much I need them so it was a big shock when the entire group showed up together. Thank you to my cousin Tyson for arranging that private jet that I got stuck paying for Lol It was great seeing everyone and mostly showing off my very perfect, very awesome twins. We managed to get through most of the weekend without any big family fights. If there were issues I did not hear much about them. As long as you feed my family they are fine, as long as you show my friends a good time, they are fine, so it was trying to help coordinate all of that. Thank goodness Shelly came to do all of that. Lindsay was able to get the nursery stocked up for 3 months along with Drew who helped her carry everything. She said she carried one bag up and it was his fault for telling her he would get it. She did organize it really well and I now have the most prepared nursery closet and hallway closet on Earth. If I need it for the boys, I have it. The nursery is still not decorated yet. I have ordered a few things but I need to get my friend down here to do the paintings we discussed. The jungle theme is not looking so jungle right now. It will be cool, soon. It was one of the things that I dropped the ball on. At least we have enough diapers to last forever Lol

The boys are perfect. I have said that already but they are. Heston is doing great. He eats, he sleeps, he poops, he coos, he rarely cries. In fact I am surprised at how little he cries. He is the first-born I heard they were usually the most vocal. He’s very chill. And so sweet. He grabs my finger and I melt.

Alex is not as easy. He spits, up, he doesn’t sleep, he poops and pees, he doesn’t coo, and he cries a lot. I called the pediatrician already once to ask what to do about him spitting up so much. I was told that’s normal and if he’s spitting up more than he is eating, bring him in. He is okay, just fussy. Which makes me nervous.

Over the weekend I had so much help I was able to sleep. I was able to have my adoption lawyer come over and talk to all of us about how this is going to go now that they are here. I still have to get my foster parent certification but once I do and I pass the rest that the state requires, it’s very much a possibility I can legally adopt them sooner than 18 months. Which is amazing news. The judge on my case has been updated about my legal guardianship application and we are complying with the 8 things you have to do and prove to get that through court. The judge is aware of my situation and has been very direct and helpful. My lawyer is hopeful we can adopt later this year. But no promises. I just need to take one step at a time. My family and friends are all happy for me.

So I decided to ruin that happy moment with the next big bombshell Lol Leave it to me to not let anyone stay happy for too long. I am not so sure I want to raise my boys in America. I have 2 options that would be amazing for our life and I wanted to kind of warn my family.

Option 1, we move to Paris as soon as the legal adoption goes through. Paris is an up and coming area for my work, it offers all the things I love the most in the world and has great proximity to a lot of awesome cultural and historical things I would love my boys to experience.

Option 2, Dubai. Enough said. I mean it’s Dubai. If you haven’t been to Dubai it’s like New York City had sex with Los Angeles and created, well Dubai. My boys would receive the best of the best in the entire world there. Education, culture, traveling to many, many different continents, not just countries. And it is by far the biggest moneymaker right now for my investment companies. I got into the Dubai market very early and it has paid off. I would love to live there and grow that business more so I can feed that money back home to all of my projects. It’s economically the best decision for me.

It’s far away, it’s probably too far away for most of my friends to come visit. My family can all afford it and would use it as an excuse to vacation. I can always travel back and forth for family things. And I know the risks of Americans living abroad. It’s something I am deeply praying on and I know in the next few months God will have my answer. I am called to Paris. My heart has always been there since I lived there for an entire year. And Dubai, again, it’s Dubai.

Everyone was shocked. It wasn’t received well Lol I told them when the legal adoption goes through either this year or next, I will let everyone know where we will be going or staying. I want my boys to grow up as I did. To travel at a young age and learn from different cultures and people. It’s my decision. And I have a calling from God to live abroad. I want to do this. But I also want support so we will see how that plays out over the next few months.

So the things no one told me about becoming a first time dad:

  • The boys will pee a lot.
  • The boys will eat, spit up on you, then eat some more.
  • The amount of gas a newborn has. That is all I need to say about that Lol Other than it has been shocking.
  • They will jolt you out of a dead sleep by crying loudly and persistently.
  • The diaper has to be smoothed down on both sides of the tape otherwise it comes off.
  • The diaper belongs in the trash container that has a lid. Otherwise the diaper will permeate the entire room Lol
  • The baby bottle tops needs to be tightened before you try to feed it to your baby or it will spill everywhere
  • There is never enough time in any day to do laundry

There are more but I’m running out of “me time” and I know one or both will be up soon.

In case anyone had placed any bets. By Monday night I had called all 3 of my nannies to come over to help Lol Because I hadn’t showered, I had spit up all over me, and I needed more help for my poor live in nanny who was at her wits end. Neither of us got any sleep Sunday night. The other 2 nannies are roommates and found the entire thing to be hilarious. But it was time to see how well they did so they rescued us! This will be the first full week my nanny and I try to get a routine going.

It can’t be that hard, Right????



Rowboat Book Club Book #38

This is a great book. I want to see the movie based on this book. Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer.

In April, 1992, a young man from a well-to-do family hitchhiked to Alaska and walked alone into the wilderness north of Mt. McKinley. His name was Christopher Johnson McCandless. He had given $25,000 in savings to charity, abandoned his car and most of his possessions, burned all the cash in his wallet, and invented a new life for himself. Four months later, a party of moose hunters found his decomposed body. How McCandless came to die is the unforgettable story of Into the Wild.

Immediately after graduating from college in 1991, McCandless had roamed through the West and Southwest on a vision quest like those made by his heroes Jack London and John Muir. In the Mojave Desert he abandoned his car, stripped it of its license plates, and burned all of his cash. He would give himself a new name, Alexander Supertramp, and, unencumbered by money and belongings, he would be free to wallow in the raw, unfiltered experiences that nature presented. Craving a blank spot on the map, McCandless simply threw away the maps. Leaving behind his desperate parents and sister, he vanished into the wild.

Are you ready for this? Kind of

twins  Yesterday morning almost at 4am my cousin began banging on my bedroom door very loudly shouting something. It takes me about 2 minutes to wake up because my brain goes into such a deep sleep. I sat up and started processing all of it.

Samuel it’s time, it’s time. Get up!

It’s what? As I jumped out of the bed. It’s time? It’s time? It’s TIME! It’s TIME! Okay. Shit. Okay. Okay. I need shoes Lol I bolted across the condo to the other side. There is my poor cousin’s daughter bent over her bed, laughing, almost crying, but still smiling. I said Are you ready for this? She said kind of. I said what can I do for you? She said get me to the hospital. We had already packed her a bag with all the things she wanted. And a backpack with all the things she wanted to read or look at in recovery. So I grabbed those threw them by the front door then sprinted over to get myself changed. I had ordered a custom Batman tshirt that says I’m the Batdad which came in the day before (Just in time) so I threw that on, put on jeans, shoes, and a sweater then ran back over to see if she was getting dressed or needed me. Ran back over grabbed, wallet, keys, coat, my belt, then grabbed my backpack that has the camera, some snacks, extra cellphone chargers, their first outfits, baby blankets to bring them home in, hats that matched, and everything else I might need. The last thing was my iPad that has everyone’s phone numbers on it I created for the call list. I texted Lindsay and Drew in a mass text message and said It’s time, get flights, Come now! I knew Lindsay would respond right away because she was probably still at the casino at that hour Lol I knew Drew would see it when he woke up and he would get his wife and kids ready to get on the first flights they could. I shoved my phone in my pocket and ran back over to start getting her to the door. Her mom was hysterical between happy and oh shit. We got her walking but she was leaning on both of us. I was trying to carry bags, her, my cousin, and deal with setting the alarm, locking the door, hitting the elevator button.

The moment you hit the elevator button, the wait seems like a lifetime when you are watching someone in labor. Her contractions were not close together at that point. So it was weird she would be okay then she’d almost double over and spread her legs apart. I was secretly thinking if a baby falls out of there I’m going to have to catch it Lol The weirdest things go through your mind as you are trying to get to the hospital. We got downstairs, loaded her up, and off we went. Got to the ER, got her inside, they wheeled her somewhere, I parked the Escalade, then ran inside. Where is she??????????????? They told me how to find the place I needed to be at. I ran that way, looked everywhere and finally found them. She was taking her coat off and getting ready to hop up onto a bed. Well, not so much hop, it was more like a roll. Then her legs went up in the air and I turned away. All I know is someone said her water broke, everything looked okay, let’s prep for the C-section, they paged her doctor, it would be about a half hour and they were going to take her back. That’s when all of us started to realize this was happening.

Lindsay texted On My Way! No word from Drew yet. They came and got me had me put on some outfit with a shower cap thing and next thing I saw was her on a table covered from the boobs on down. I stayed up near her head. I wasn’t sure when to start taking pictures because I did not want photos of them coming out. I didn’t think that was a good idea. I mean it is my cousin’s 18-year-old daughter. That’s not something I want to see or have photographic proof of later on. So I waited. Her mom was on one side holding her hand and looking over the drape. I was on the other side of her head, looking up, down, all around expect by the drape. I kept telling her it was okay and she was doing great.

Out pops baby one. Now I had a few name ideas kicking in. The one name that stuck in my head all along was Heston. It was a name I had heard from someone else (Meri Brown) and I liked it but it didn’t seem to fit. The name just lingered every time I would think about my first son. What would I want his legacy to be. What name would become immortal to me? They scoop him up, showed him to her, put her down on her belly, I cut the cord and then they put him on a baby table and start cleaning him up. I kissed her forehead, ran over and started reporting back that he was covered in slime, then he’s getting cleaning up. Oh shit, take pictures! So I started snapping photos. He’s a little blue but he’s breathing okay. Then he let out a huge scream finally! He’s okay, he’s okay. He’s here. He’s crying. Everything is okay. I saw him and his name just hit me. Heston William Cooper. That’s it. He looks like a Heston to me. That’s why God kept that name in my head this whole time. It was meant for him. He’s big. He’s a lot bigger than I thought. Then I turn around and see 2 doctors trying to pull the next one out. But they kept talking to each other about something that I wasn’t able to understand. I looked back at my cousin’s daughter, she’s laying there, half crying. I ran over and started holding her hand again. But keeping my eye on Heston. Then comes the next one. He’s breech. That’s what they kept saying. The cord was around his neck, they pull him out, he’s not breathing, or moving or what is going on? I got scared. I got really scared because this time they didn’t even show him to her, they took him right over to another baby table. I didn’t even get to cut his cord! They put him on oxygen and started doing manual breathing with this big squeeze thing. A respirator? He finally starts wiggling and they suck stuff out of his mouth and nose then he started crying. That was honestly the longest 40 seconds of my life. I ran over and started taking pictures of him too. My cousin finally came over to see them. We were hugging and crying. I kissed her forehead. I ran back over to her daughter and kissed her forehead again. I told her he’s okay, the cord was around him but he’s moving and crying. It’s okay. They are both fine. She was crying and kept telling me to go check on them. I looked at my second son and thought Alex. Alexander James. I love that combination. It was one I had said a few times to people. The names just came to me as soon as I could see them. So I finally made that decision.

The next hour is a blur. It was a lot of moving her over to her room where she would recover and them putting me and the boys in a different room a few doors away. When Alex was off oxygen and doing okay they brought both babies into my room. It was time to feed them. I had donor milk in bottles so I held Heston first and fed him. My cousin held Alex. About halfway through we switched so I could feed them both the first time. Then we just held them. We were both grinning and talking. I told her what I was naming them and she said great names. She kept calling Alex little man because he had such a hard time coming into this world and he made it. The nurses kept coming in every few minutes to see how they were doing. All I kept doing was stare at them! I kept kissing their heads and talking to them. A few hours went by and my cousin said her daughter was ready to see them. She told me to sit down. I paniced. I immediately thought Oh shit, she’s keeping them. She said her daughter wants to tell them goodbye. That if she asked me to leave the room to just think about how hard it will be for her to see them then let them go. So she said don’t get offended. It’s how her daughter wants to do this. We brought the babies down to her. She held one, then she held them both. She was crying, we were crying. I didn’t say a word. I just let her hold them. She whispered to them a little then she told them she knew this was right and she would love them always. She would keep track of their lives and would see them sometimes. She kissed them then said come take your sons. I picked up Heston, My cousin took Alex. She signed the papers. She did not want pictures of her holding them or pictures of them near her. She said no photos of this. And that’s it. I am their legal guardian right now. The boys are mine, legally as of that moment. That’s when it really, really, became real. I was so scared when my cousin told me to sit down. I thought she was going to tell me her daughter wanted to keep them. To see her go through the biggest act of love I have ever witnessed in my life was surreal. We got the babies back in my room and I walked back over to her. I asked my cousin to watch the boys. I told her I would protect them with my life, I would make sure they were good people, good men. I promised to give her pictures, videos anytime she asked and she was welcome to come stay with us anytime  she wanted. I would fly her out anytime. She said just make sure this was worth it. We hugged for a long time. I told her I would check on her again and I walked out. Then I sent her mom back and told her to stay with her for a while. She needs you.

And there I am. Talkng to myself in my head. All alone in my room with my two kids. Alllllllllll alone Lol With 2 boys. Twins. By myself. What did I do? O M G! Here I am, 2 kids, no woman, no family. Just me. How am I going to do this? I can’t do this. Can I? I can do this! I know I can. I think. All of this stuff started hitting me. She really signed that paper. This is a done deal. And guess what pal, you are going home with these 2 babies also. So you’re done Lol Your days of going out anytime you want, flying off anywhere, done. You are stuck at home, feeding, changing. Just babies, for the rest of your life! Done! Lol I swear I was half panicking half amused at my self talk. Then Lindsay finally called. She was at the airport with Ben. She called Shelly already to pick them up. She was coming, don’t do anything without her Lol Finally help is on the way. She said she woke Drew up by calling nonstop. He was getting tickets for just him and his wife. He would bring his kids out later on. They were coming later in the afternoon and he started calling my family for me to get the word out. She was calling and texting our friends. I had forgotten I probably should start telling people until that moment Lol I wasn’t even aware it had already been 3 hours. So I got them both down to sleep and sat in between them and started making calls. I called my Uncle first. He hasn’t been talking to me since the news came out about the affair. I left him a voicemail and told him who his new nephews were and said please come see them. Then I called my older aunts because they told me they needed to be told first. They also said they would call their kids which would save me a lot of calls. I sent out a mass text to everyone I could think of. Then a friend of mine made that sign I posted yesterday. I thought that was cool. I posted that on here, and started reading all of the congrats messages you all posted.

Thank ya’ll so much for that. It made me grin every time my email went off with another message. It means a lot to me that you took the time to just acknowledge that. Very sweet of ya’ll. Thanks again.

Finally Shelly came up. I had an ally! She started crying. Shelly used to work for my dad. For decades. She was the secretary when my mom quit working with my dad. So she has literally known me my entire life. She moved to Chicago when we expanded to be the office secretary for me and the new investment company. She is the backbone to all of my businesses. And she is like family to me. So she came and gave me a big ol’ hug then said give me one Lol She held them and we took pictures. Then she took pictures of me with them. I hadn’t even thought of doing selfies or even ask anyone to take my pictures with them yet. It was all love. My cousin came back to check on me. I went to talk to her daughter again. I asked if she wanted to come see them. She said no it was too hard and too soon. She wanted to go to her hotel room the next day to recover. I asked her to come stay back at my place but she said she can’t. I understand but I still wanted her to know she is welcome. I booked her in a really nice hotel near by. I told her to stay as long as she wanted to, get room service, get anything she wants it’s all paid for. The hotel has my credit card on file and she could charge anything. I told her I would give her the number to car service so she could go anywhere she wanted the next day then when she was ready I would get her a flight home or if she wanted to drive back. Just let me know. She did keep asking how they were. I would tell her all I could. I told her they both pooped and I got to change their diapers. I told her it was weird because the diapers are so tiny and my big hands kept getting in the way. We both laughed a little. I was trying not to make it awkward. She asked why do you keep checking on me? I said because you are my family. It was never about just the babies. It’s her too. I told her I would stop coming over to say hi if that’s what she wanted. She said no it’s fine. Then we visited a little more and I went back.

Hours went by so fast. They slept, peed, ate a few more times. Then Aunt Lindsay made it with Uncle Ben. She came with 2 teddy bears and a load of balloons. Ben had a box of cigars. We all hugged then she picked one up then the other. I said makes you want to have one huh. She said Hell no. So the first cuss word they ever heard came from Lindsay, which doesn’t surprise me Lol She bonded with Alex really fast. She said he is her favorite and she was taking him home. Drew and his wife showed up a few hours later. They both held them and Drew gave me a big bear hug. He has known since Ryan’s death that I wanted more kids. It wasn’t something I could admit so this was a big moment for me. My sons, and my 2 best friends all together. It was emotional. Then I had Drew and Lindsay hold them. I took some pictures and said Boys, these are your Godparents. And they will watch over you for the rest of your life. It was really fun to say that. Because I know with all of my heart Drew and Lindsay would really give up their lives for my boys. I know that and that’s why I picked them. I would not be where I am in my life without these 2 people. Who aren’t even my family members. But they have been with me through everything and I couldn’t imagine them not being here with me for this. It made the whole day complete.

I slept at the hospital last night. I sent everyone to my place. Lindsay said she would check the nursery and make sure I had everything. If not they were going out to Walmart or Target to go buy what I needed to get through a few days. Drew said he would clean up the house and make sure I had plenty of food for the swarm of my family that was coming on the weekend. Everyone was pitching in. They all left and I finally got to eat. I had forgotten to drink or eat all day. I woke up every 2 hours, I didn’t really sleep. I just sort of laid there and looked at all of my pictures. I was able to talk on the phone a few times but mostly it was sending out photos. We all had a good first night.

We are going to be released later this afternoon or early evening. I get to take them home! My cousin’s daughter is also leaving around that time. So we had to make arrangements to get her car service. I had a wad of cash that I gave my cousin. It was in a thick envelope and I told her put this in your purse. This is for flights or for gas or whatever ya’ll decide to do to get home. Or stay. Stay for a week and just enjoy your time here. She said she wants to be with her daughter and check on the babies. I said that’s fine. Just take care of her daughter. I’m sitting here writing this and it’s already been an hour. My sons are sleeping and perfect. They are going to be great men. I am going to teach them as my grandmother taught me. To be loving and kind to everyone. My sons are going to be good people. I’m going to be patient and just handle everything with love. I want them to grow up knowing every single day I love them. The first time Heston grabbed my finger that was it. I was a dad.

I’m a dad now. My whole life changed yesterday. I have to raise my sons now. I will write when I can. I know the next few days I’m going to disappear on ya’ll. Sorry but I need time to get things in a routine. Plus my entire family and a lot of my friends are coming. My nanny is coming today. She was not ready to move just yet but she made arrangements. I’m going to be okay.

I love hearing all the great messages. As soon as I can I will respond. I really appreciate all the love. I will see ya’ll soon! My sons needs me.

Rated R

adult  Soon we will be adding 102 more voicemails to finish out the set I started with. I had to wait for Lindsay to rework them because the audio quality was crap. She was gone for a month. She had them all on youtube and on my blog as private then we yanked them. It’s been a process. She finished them tonight, put them back on youtube and now they are finally ready to go.

Some of the voicemails are sexually graphic. You will see a popup when you click their links, it will ask you to checkmark a disclaimer stating you are aware it’s adult content and some other warning thing my lawyers will write up. I have to do that by law. I will attach this warning sign in a smaller version right next to those. There are only 10 or so that are that way. The rest are more repetitive I called, call me back and a few of me getting yelled at Lol That was fun to hear again (Not really). Not sure when I will be adding them on here but it will be soon.

I had a dinner party tonight. My 2 cousins, my 2 sons, and my 2 friends. I had Josh and Ellie come by for pizza dinner, cupcake dessert, and we played cards. It was fun. I didn’t win because I’m not very good at cards but we got loud and laughed a lot. Josh won, he was pretty happy about that. Ellie was well liked, my cousin asked why we aren’t still dating. I said she’s too young, I have too much going on, and probably 3 other reasons I won’t mention. Josh took off, I walked Ellie down to her car and we said a different kind of good night that I had expected. It was interesting. We are friends, only friends. But there is still that small hint of something more. I’m going to have to work on that. Friends! That’s all I want. I’m going to be too busy very soon and I don’t want to deal with a relationship.

The babies are coming sooner than we all thought. They are very active, one had the hiccups today I guess. I was at work and missed that. But Son A is down lower and ready to move out anytime. Son B is laying up higher and apparently not ready to move anywhere. Both are doing great. I have finally shortened my list of names and I think I’m getting closer. The one solid name is still in the mix but I get so turned around with it. I think I am for sure calling the oldest one that name, then I change my mind a dozen times. It’s a very important decision to me. I want to pick good names. They last forever.

Work was fine today. I got caught up a little more. I had foster parent class tonight so I left early. It was my turn to stand up and share my story. There was only 6 people in class with me this time so it didn’t take long to explain that

  1. I’m not gay
  2. I’m eventually going to get married at some point and I don’t want to do this on my own forever
  3. I really am not gay
  4. I want kids in my life
  5. This way I don’t have to share custody with anyone and that makes it a lot easier in my life
  6. I’m NOT GAY!

I keep getting asked that because I say I am adopting them on my own. That’s always the first question. It doesn’t offend me at all. I laugh.

I need to do more shopping tomorrow after work and get more thing off of my list. I forgot some important items. The car seats arrived. It was hilarious me and Josh trying to hook them into my Escalade. He told me to have the hospital nurses make sure we did it right. I don’t know, I tugged on them pretty hard and I think we got it in there. But we will see. Those things are harder than you think. I even read the instructions.

Josh told me he would come help me whenever I need a break or if I just wanted help. That was awesome but he also said he plans on teaching them all kinds of awful things to do when they get older so he can be coo Uncle Josh. I told him we are not related and if he teaches my boys awful pranks there won’t be an Uncle Josh or even a Josh around for long Lol I really think they will be teaching each other pranks I doubt they will need help. I’ve watched enough twin youtube videos to see how little boys can be. With 2 of them, no one will fess up who did it and even if they did, I wouldn’t know what to do about it anyway. This is the part of my life where my patience is going to be tested over and over again. I’m ready for it. I know to see them with love, no matter if I’m mad or upset. Just take a step back, pause before I say anything ugly, then love them through whatever.

So tonight we started adding the Arcade back. Lindsay had one arcade on there but it didn’t work so she sent an expletive filled text message and I went with a different arcade plugin Lol It’s working. I have over 80 games but we have to test them out before we add them.

So far Pacman, Tetris and Mario Bros are on there. If you are on a mobile device, click Navigation and you will see Sam’s Arcade. They are flash games so you can not play them on your phones unless you download a FREE browser that will allow you to play flash on your phones.

I played Pacman off and on all day today. Tetris I only played once. Mario I played a few times. I miss playing Pacman. That game was the bomb.com when I was growing up. I even had one of those smaller personal games with the little red joystick. Anyone else have that one? I had Atari growing up. Many a fist fights came from Atari playing Lol My little brother would step in front of the tv and I would pound on him until he moved. Then he would cry I would get the games taken away for a day or two and the next time I played he would do it again. Memories!

It’s getting late, I hope everyone had a great day. Get a good night’s sleep and say your prayers!

God loves you and I love ya’ll too!