twins  Yesterday morning almost at 4am my cousin began banging on my bedroom door very loudly shouting something. It takes me about 2 minutes to wake up because my brain goes into such a deep sleep. I sat up and started processing all of it.

Samuel it’s time, it’s time. Get up!

It’s what? As I jumped out of the bed. It’s time? It’s time? It’s TIME! It’s TIME! Okay. Shit. Okay. Okay. I need shoes Lol I bolted across the condo to the other side. There is my poor cousin’s daughter bent over her bed, laughing, almost crying, but still smiling. I said Are you ready for this? She said kind of. I said what can I do for you? She said get me to the hospital. We had already packed her a bag with all the things she wanted. And a backpack with all the things she wanted to read or look at in recovery. So I grabbed those threw them by the front door then sprinted over to get myself changed. I had ordered a custom Batman tshirt that says I’m the Batdad which came in the day before (Just in time) so I threw that on, put on jeans, shoes, and a sweater then ran back over to see if she was getting dressed or needed me. Ran back over grabbed, wallet, keys, coat, my belt, then grabbed my backpack that has the camera, some snacks, extra cellphone chargers, their first outfits, baby blankets to bring them home in, hats that matched, and everything else I might need. The last thing was my iPad that has everyone’s phone numbers on it I created for the call list. I texted Lindsay and Drew in a mass text message and said It’s time, get flights, Come now! I knew Lindsay would respond right away because she was probably still at the casino at that hour Lol I knew Drew would see it when he woke up and he would get his wife and kids ready to get on the first flights they could. I shoved my phone in my pocket and ran back over to start getting her to the door. Her mom was hysterical between happy and oh shit. We got her walking but she was leaning on both of us. I was trying to carry bags, her, my cousin, and deal with setting the alarm, locking the door, hitting the elevator button.

The moment you hit the elevator button, the wait seems like a lifetime when you are watching someone in labor. Her contractions were not close together at that point. So it was weird she would be okay then she’d almost double over and spread her legs apart. I was secretly thinking if a baby falls out of there I’m going to have to catch it Lol The weirdest things go through your mind as you are trying to get to the hospital. We got downstairs, loaded her up, and off we went. Got to the ER, got her inside, they wheeled her somewhere, I parked the Escalade, then ran inside. Where is she??????????????? They told me how to find the place I needed to be at. I ran that way, looked everywhere and finally found them. She was taking her coat off and getting ready to hop up onto a bed. Well, not so much hop, it was more like a roll. Then her legs went up in the air and I turned away. All I know is someone said her water broke, everything looked okay, let’s prep for the C-section, they paged her doctor, it would be about a half hour and they were going to take her back. That’s when all of us started to realize this was happening.

Lindsay texted On My Way! No word from Drew yet. They came and got me had me put on some outfit with a shower cap thing and next thing I saw was her on a table covered from the boobs on down. I stayed up near her head. I wasn’t sure when to start taking pictures because I did not want photos of them coming out. I didn’t think that was a good idea. I mean it is my cousin’s 18-year-old daughter. That’s not something I want to see or have photographic proof of later on. So I waited. Her mom was on one side holding her hand and looking over the drape. I was on the other side of her head, looking up, down, all around expect by the drape. I kept telling her it was okay and she was doing great.

Out pops baby one. Now I had a few name ideas kicking in. The one name that stuck in my head all along was Heston. It was a name I had heard from someone else and I liked it but it didn’t seem to fit. The name just lingered every time I would think about my first son. What would I want his legacy to be. What name would become immortal to me? They scoop him up, showed him to her, then put him on a baby table and start cleaning him up. I kissed her forehead, ran over and started reporting back that he was covered in slime, then he’s getting cleaning up. Oh shit, take pictures! So I started snapping photos. He’s a little blue but he’s breathing okay. Then he let out a huge scream finally! He’s okay, he’s okay. He’s here. He’s crying. Everything is okay. I saw him and his name just hit me. Heston William Cooper. That’s it. He looks like a Heston to me. That’s why God kept that name in my head this whole time. It was meant for him. He’s big. He’s a lot bigger than I thought. Then I turn around and see 2 doctors trying to pull the next one out. But they kept talking to each other about something that I wasn’t able to understand. I looked back at my cousin’s daughter, she’s laying there, half crying. I ran over and started holding her hand again. But keeping my eye on Heston. Then comes the next one. He’s breech. That’s what they kept saying. The cord was around his neck, they pull him out, he’s not breathing, or moving or what is going on? I got scared. I got really scared because this time they didn’t even show him to her, they took him right over to another baby table. They put him on oxygen and started doing manual breathing with this big squeeze thing. A respirator? He finally starts wiggling and they suck stuff out of his mouth and nose then he started crying. That was honestly the longest 40 seconds of my life. I ran over and started talking pictures of him too. My cousin finally came over to see them. We were hugging and crying. I kissed her forehead. I ran back over to her daughter and kissed her forehead again. I told her he’s okay, the cord was around him but he’s moving and crying. It’s okay. They are both fine. She was crying and kept telling me to go check on them. I looked at my second son and thought Alex. Alexander James. I love that combination. It was one I had said a few times to people. The names just came to me as soon as I could see them. So I finally made that decision.

The next hour is a blur. It was a lot of moving her over to her room where she would recover and them putting me and the boys in a different room a few doors away. When Alex was off oxygen and doing okay they brought both babies into my room. It was time to feed them. I had donor milk in bottles so I held Heston first and fed him. My cousin held Alex. About halfway through we switched so I could feed them both the first time. Then we just held them. We were both grinning and talking. I told her what I was naming them and she said great names. She kept calling Alex little man because he had such a hard time coming into this world and he made it. The nurses kept coming in every few minutes to see how they were doing. All I kept doing was stare at them! I kept kissing their heads and talking to them. A few hours went by and my cousin said her daughter was ready to see them. She told me to sit down. I paniced. I immediately thought Oh shit, she’s keeping them. She said her daughter wants to tell them goodbye. That if she asked me to leave the room to just think about how hard it will be for her to see them then let them go. So she said don’t get offended. It’s how her daughter wants to do this. We brought the babies down to her. She held one, then she held them both. She was crying, we were crying. I didn’t say a word. I just let her hold them. She whispered to them a little then she told them she knew this was right and she would love them always. She would keep track of their lives and would see them sometimes. She kissed them then said come take your sons. I picked up Heston, My cousin took Alex. She signed the papers. She did not want pictures of her holding them or pictures of them near her. She said no photos of this. And that’s it. I am their legal guardian right now. The boys are mine, legally as of that moment. That’s when it really, really, became real. I was so scared when my cousin told me to sit down. I thought she was going to tell me her daughter wanted to keep them. To see her go through the biggest act of love I have ever witnessed in my life was surreal. We got the babies back in my room and I walked back over to her. I asked my cousin to watch the boys. I told her I would protect them with my life, I would make sure they were good people, good men. I promised to give her pictures, videos anytime she asked and she was welcome to come stay with us anytime  she wanted. I would fly her out anytime. She said just make sure this was worth it. We hugged for a long time. I told her I would check on her again and I walked out. Then I sent her mom back and told her to stay with her for a while. She needs you.

And there I am. Talkng to myself in my head. All alone in my room with my two kids. Alllllllllll alone Lol With 2 boys. Twins. By myself. What did I do? O M G! Here I am, 2 kids, no woman, no family. Just me. How am I going to do this? I can’t do this. Can I? I can do this! I know I can. I think. All of this stuff started hitting me. She really signed that paper. This is a done deal. And guess what pal, you are going home with these 2 babies also. So you’re done Lol Your days of going out anytime you want, flying off anywhere, done. You are stuck at home, feeding, changing. Just babies, for the rest of your life! Done! Lol I swear I was half panicking half amused at my self talk. Then Lindsay finally called. She was at the airport with Ben. She called Shelly already to pick them up. She was coming, don’t do anything without her Lol Finally help is on the way. She said she woke Drew up by calling nonstop. He was getting tickets for just him and his wife. He would bring his kids out later on. They were coming later in the afternoon and he started calling my family for me to get the word out. She was calling and texting our friends. I had forgotten I probably should start telling people until that moment Lol I wasn’t even aware it had already been 3 hours. So I got them both down to sleep and sat in between them and started making calls. I called my Uncle first. He hasn’t been talking to me since the news came out about the affair. I left him a voicemail and told him who his new nephews were and said please come see them. Then I called my older aunts because they told me they needed to be told first. They also said they would call their kids which would save me a lot of calls. I sent out a mass text to everyone I could think of. Then a friend of mine made that sign I posted yesterday. I thought that was cool. I posted that on here, and started reading all of the congrats messages you all posted.

Thank ya’ll so much for that. It made me grin every time my email went off with another message. It means a lot to me that you took the time to just acknowledge that. Very sweet of ya’ll. Thanks again.

Finally Shelly came up. I had an ally! She started crying. Shelly used to work for my dad. For decades. She was the secretary when my mom quit working with my dad. So she has literally known me my entire life. She moved to Chicago when we expanded to be the office secretary for me and the new investment company. She is the backbone to all of my businesses. And she is like family to me. So she came and gave me a big ol’ hug then said give me one Lol She held them and we took pictures. Then she took pictures of me with them. I hadn’t even thought of doing selfies or even ask anyone to take my pictures with them yet. It was all love. My cousin came back to check on me. I went to talk to her daughter again. I asked if she wanted to come see them. She said no it was too hard and too soon. She wanted to go to her hotel room the next day to recover. I asked her to come stay back at my place but she said she can’t. I understand but I still wanted her to know she is welcome. I booked her in a really nice hotel near by. I told her to stay as long as she wanted to, get room service, get anything she wants it’s all paid for. The hotel has my credit card on file and she could charge anything. I told her I would give her the number to car service so she could go anywhere she wanted the next day then when she was ready I would get her a flight home or if she wanted to drive back. Just let me know. She did keep asking how they were. I would tell her all I could. I told her they both pooped and I got to change their diapers. I told her it was weird because the diapers are so tiny and my big hands kept getting in the way. We both laughed a little. I was trying not to make it awkward. She asked why do you keep checking on me? I said because you are my family. It was never about just the babies. It’s her too. I told her I would stop coming over to say hi if that’s what she wanted. She said no it’s fine. Then we visited a little more and I went back.

Hours went by so fast. They slept, peed, ate a few more times. Then Aunt Lindsay made it with Uncle Ben. She came with 2 teddy bears and a load of balloons. Ben had a box of cigars. We all hugged then she picked one up then the other. I said makes you want to have one huh. She said Hell no. So the first cuss word they ever heard came from Lindsay, which doesn’t surprise me Lol She bonded with Alex really fast. She said he is her favorite and she was taking him home. Drew and his wife showed up a few hours later. They both held them and Drew gave me a big bear hug. He has known since Ryan’s death that I wanted more kids. It wasn’t something I could admit so this was a big moment for me. My sons, and my 2 best friends all together. It was emotional. Then I had Drew and Lindsay hold them. I took some pictures and said Boys, these are your Godparents. And they will watch over you for the rest of your life. It was really fun to say that. Because I know with all of my heart Drew and Lindsay would really give up their lives for my boys. I know that and that’s why I picked them. I would not be where I am in my life without these 2 people. Who aren’t even my family members. But they have been with me through everything and I couldn’t imagine them not being here with me for this. It made the whole day complete.

I slept at the hospital last night. I sent everyone to my place. Lindsay said she would check the nursery and make sure I had everything. If not they were going out to Walmart or Target to go buy what I needed to get through a few days. Drew said he would clean up the house and make sure I had plenty of food for the swarm of my family that was coming on the weekend. Everyone was pitching in. They all left and I finally got to eat. I had forgotten to drink or eat all day. I woke up every 2 hours, I didn’t really sleep. I just sort of laid there and looked at all of my pictures. I was able to talk on the phone a few times but mostly it was sending out photos. We all had a good first night.

We are going to be released later this afternoon or early evening. I get to take them home! My cousin’s daughter is also leaving around that time. So we had to make arrangements to get her car service. I had a wad of cash that I gave my cousin. It was in a thick envelope and I told her put this in your purse. This is for flights or for gas or whatever ya’ll decide to do to get home. Or stay. Stay for a week and just enjoy your time here. She said she wants to be with her daughter and check on the babies. I said that’s fine. Just take care of her daughter. I’m sitting here writing this and it’s already been an hour. My sons are sleeping and perfect. They are going to be great men. I am going to teach them as my grandmother taught me. To be loving and kind to everyone. My sons are going to be good people. I’m going to be patient and just handle everything with love. I want them to grow up knowing every single day I love them. The first time Heston grabbed my finger that was it. I was a dad.

I’m a dad now. My whole life changed yesterday. I have to raise my sons now. I will write when I can. I know the next few days I’m going to disappear on ya’ll. Sorry but I need time to get things in a routine. Plus my entire family and a lot of my friends are coming. My nanny is coming today. She was not ready to move just yet but she made arrangements. I’m going to be okay.

I love hearing all the great messages. As soon as I can I will respond. I really appreciate all the love. I will see ya’ll soon! My sons needs me.

14 thoughts on “Are you ready for this? Kind of”

  1. ..so proud of you…taking on such a big job…..but you have a big heart with plenty of love to give to those great sons ……welcome to the real world Batman……God Bless you all and keep you safe.

  2. I sent you some tweets please DM me I have important info you are going to want to read you don’t have to say anything at all I will tell you everything. #Flavoredkisses

  3. I may be completely out of line with my comment. Congrats on your sons. Children are such a blessing. I have really enjoyed coming here and reading your story. It’s entertaining and so full of heart. You write so well.
    Am I the only one that wishes Meri would leave Kody and go find Sam? I think you were the only man in her life that really saw her for who she is. I think you are the only one to open her up to love. When she was crying saying how compassionate and understanding you were I felt that. I felt how hurt she was and how much she was missing you. Those were tears of a deep love.

    Is there really no chance you two can work things out? What if all the tabloids are right for once and she is leaving the show?

    Sam what would you say to Meri if she knocked on your door? I do want you two together. I listened to these voicemails. That is the kind of love we women look for. How are you still single?

  4. Two ?s Are they identical? And how did you come up with the name Heston? I’ve never heard of that as a first name. Congrats loved reading this.

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