multiple-fingers-pointing-blame-at-man  The one thing no one tells you about family counseling is what happens after you leave counseling. We were all sent home with homework for Wednesday’s appointment. We were also told not to talk about what we were writing down. Sometime last night the girls finished their papers and decided at breakfast they wanted to share what they wrote. As I was eating my oatmeal I listened to why all of this was my fault and how counseling is only making the mother-daughter relationship worse. That I need to get us out of counseling and everything was fine until we went in there.

I listened how somethings are never meant to be said out loud and how I am getting stories from years ago that are no longer true or maybe they are true but it’s not for me to hear. I listened to how in our family we don’t open up and share our true feelings, ever. We are taught from birth to hold it in. And why can’t we all just hold in any negative feelings until after we all get through this experience. It would help everyone (Not me) if we could go back to joking around, shopping, and getting along. Then I finished my juice and stood up.

I said the problem with our family is that we don’t talk about anything. And I don’t want your daughter to grow up like we did, stuff it down until you explode into a drug or alcohol addiction like all our Uncles and Aunts do.

That caused that awkward silence pause you never want to get yourself into, so I did the only thing I could think of,

jmI did the Jerry McGuire hold the briefcase and flip out move with my arms flailing, turned around and walked out to go to work Lol My only regret is I wasn’t holding a bag of goldfish as I left!

I heard them both laughing at me as I walked out so at least we broke the tension. Now I’m getting hit with texts from both of them. I told them go out today, have fun. I gave them spending money this morning. Go grab lunch and just enjoy Chicago. We are all having cabin fever and they need to enjoy it. She said they will go to lunch and see if her daughter can walk to stores near by or not. I left them the keys to my new Escalade. And now I’m thinking I should have left them the Range because it’s much smaller to park.

I have to slug my way through 8 hours a work, go to my Foster Parent certification class tonight, grab pizza on the way home and then host 2 of my friends for dinner and cards. I just hope everyone calms down before I get back. My goodness. I expected them to gang up on me but not like this. It will be okay. Just breathe through the stress.

Hope everyone has a great work week.

3 thoughts on “It’s all my fault, then I dropped the mic”

  1. Obviously I don’t have any insight into your situation, but if it’s okay, I’d like to share something from our adoption situation. The bio mom was in counseling on her own. Not counseling to go over family issues with the goal of working through any big life problems, but counseling that was focused on the adoption. Was she confident in her decision? What would she need to help her cope and feel at peace before and after the birth? Was she feeling pressured either way by anyone? Why was she sure this was the best plan? Obviously, many of these topics led into discussing bigger picture family and personal issues, but the goal of counseling at that point was working through the adoption decision. Her going alone gave her freedom to express doubts, concerns, or feelings that she may not have felt comfortable saying out loud in front of me, even though we have an open adoption. It could be that trying to work through some family issues while trying to cope with her adoption decision is a bit overwhelming right now, especially being asked to do it in a family therapy environment with other people in the room hearing what she is saying. Praying for you all!

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