On this blog I have talked to a lot of women publicly or privately about relationships they have had. It’s fascinating to me the stories. I love hearing them. I learn things and ask questions. The one thing that continues to come up when I ask “Are you happy?” is maybe. The women say they have been married or together for so many years, the kids, the money, family obligation. All of it is an excuse to stay. If I get the sense that someone is explaining why they stay instead of commenting on the love I tell them to leave. Some women get pissed. The conversation ends, I don’t hear from them for a few days and then they contact me again. I made them think about it. Sometimes you need to piss people off in order to see if they fight to stay or fight to find a reason to stay.
Being committed in a relationship is a big promise to stay with that person. But…
Its not the end of your happiness or a chain you feel you are stuck with. If you get to the point you wake up and have no idea why you are there, get things started, make a plan and go. You are free. I’m giving you permission to leave your relationship, if that’s what you want. So many of your friends and family will tell you to do what? “Work it out.” Am I right? Why? They say that because they have seen you happy before. They have bought a ticket to your fake everything is fine show. You did that. And I bet you got very good at it.
You are wasting your time. I’m serious. Do you want to stay in the routine you created? I just typed the word created and my iPhone changed it to cram water Lol Sorry but that made me laugh. Back to my point. If you have given your 20s and 30s to a man that no longer thinks you hung the moon, and has turned you into What’s for supper lady, time to go. Because what’s for supper lady is dying inside. She feels alone and depressed. Sure she can fill a day with work and errands. She gets home to even more work and cleaning up. And what is her reward? To crawl into bed and get a shoulder tap for sex with someone she gives into to not deal with the complaining.
Guess what? That’s no longer a marriage that’s a drain. You are wasting your entire life doing things for everyone but yourself. Sure you tried to stick it out. You tried over and over and over to talk to them about your feelings. Maybe talking has turned into fighting. Couples that love each other fight. That’s normal. But not everyday. And the fight only lasts a few hours because they can’t stay mad.
I once got into such a huge fight with my girlfriend I left the house. I took a drive, cooled off and came back. I walked in hoping for an apology or maybe just looking at her would make me not stay mad. As soon as I came in she threw a shoe at me which made me start laughing then she started crying. I hugged her we both laughed and she smacked my chest and called me an Asshole. We got over it. Can’t even remember what the fight was about. We loved each other enough to let it go.
If you are at the point of your relationship that you don’t even recognize yourself anymore, leave. Make a plan, get things together and go. Let me wave my hand above your head, make a public announcement!
You do not have to stay in a relationship that no longer fulfills your life.
Better? Got you thinking at least. I know that happiness has to be achieved everyday. I know that loving someone and being in love with someone is two completely separate things. If you aren’t laughing together, hugging and kissing on each other. If he no longer does stupid guy things just to impress you or he isn’t charming in front of your friends anymore, most likely he is also wanting out but is too afraid to have that talk.
You aren’t dead, ladies. You found that guy, you can go find another. It’s really not hard meeting new people these days. Break the cycle for others around you. If you don’t leave, you will regret it in a few years.