lakehouse

picture13707253107424  I have to go back to work on Monday. I don’t know how I’m going to balance the twins and work. I had all of these goals in my head before they were born. I would take my paternity leave for 4 weeks. I would be able to take conference calls from home, do my emails, and maybe go into the office for half a day on Fridays.

None of that happened. None. I mean I was able to do some emails. But that’s been it. Lindsay has managed to piss off Chicago, Oklahoma City, and Reno all in 4 weeks Lol That’s hard to do. She said she was trying to piss off Los Angeles but everyone there is too chill to rattle. So instead of 6 weeks that I am legally entitled to, I need to go back in.

We made it to the lakehouse a few hours ago. I like coming up here. It’s completely different living. Slower, more relaxed and I feel like we can do whatever we want. In the city I always feel rushed or guilty for not doing something when I have some free time.

I don’t want to leave my babies! Did anyone else go through this? It gives me anxiety. I love taking care of them. I don’t mind any of it. I have never gotten frustrated or upset. Not even once. Yes I have a lot of help but I get in there and do all that I can. I have gotten up with them every night except a few. And that was out of pure exhaustion. Who knew 2 little things could make you work so hard and drain you so emotionally in 24 hours. This has been easy but it’s tiring. It really is. Thank goodness Sarah has been with me helping out so much. She is the perfect nanny. I told her I want her to live with us forever! She laughs and said it would be cheaper for her to do that but she said they will not need her in a few years. I wanted and needed my nanny even when I was 21. I kept in touch with her. That’s why it wasn’t a big surprise when I called Sarah to ask her to come work with me she started screaming and said yes, grandma’s legacy lives on! We are so in sync with our routine it’s like clockwork. I don’t even have to finish my sentences half the time.

Can you grab the….wipes, got em.

Pass me a diaper…here.

Where did I…it’s in the 2nd drawer down.

Crazy how well she knows me by now. Great girl. Very young, very smart. Just an amazing heart. She is going to make a fine nursing teacher someday. So proud of her continuing her education while she’s here. She wants to teach nursing at the college level. I’m helping her pay for school, not all of it, because she wants to do this on her own. She wants to leave here with a few more degrees and be ready to take a job at a great college anywhere in the U.S.

Sarah came up with us this weekend. It’s her day off so she’s going shopping on her own. Then she got invited to dinner at Cam’s bar. There is live music there tonight and he said she gets the VIP table. I assumed she was going to invite me to go with her but she said sorry bub Lol She has made a new friend and invited her to come up after the girl gets off work tonight. The more the merrier. All friends are welcome in my home. I want the girls to not feel isolated.

We made our grocery list. We all still laugh at some of the food cravings everyone is having. I looked at the list after the girls finished writing what they wanted and said Okay I’m not buying Tampons! Ya’ll need to go get those yourself! Who wrote down Jellybeans? What kind do you want? So now I have to go find Dr Pepper Jelly Bellies? Or it is Jelly Bellys? I forget the name of those things.

This is bad but I’m craving a KitKat candy bar. I haven’t had one in a long time. Probably a few years. I don’t eat candy at all so for me to crave that is kind of funny. I break the bars into single servings then dip them in peanut butter. Mmmmm, good stuff. Try it if you haven’t done so before.

We are heading out to the grocery store. Hope ya’ll have a great weekend! We are going to stay in and hang out. There is talk about a big time Scrabble game tonight. I brought it with this time in case the girls want to play. I’m pretty good at scrabble despite my poor spelling errors from time to time.

Twins are great! Alex is not crying as much but he is crying louder. Heston, that boy of mine is so chill. Love my boys so much!

Last weekend before I juggle being a working dad. This is going to get really hard.

2 thoughts on “Last weekend, babies!”

  1. As far as I know. EVERY parent have anxiety when leaving there children for the first time. It can take several weeks (or longer) to fall into a groove where you notice yourself feeling less anxious.

    Just do what works for you Sam. If you need to have a nanny put you on face time with the boys to get you through your work day, then do it.

    Make sure to give yourself a (mental) break. Whatever you are going through, whatever you are feeling is normal and is as it should be because it is where you are at the moment.

    You Got This, Sam!

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