What do I think of Polygamy?

I get asked that a lot. I have had the same answer before and after. It’s not for me. I won’t live my life that way. That being said I support polygamy but I don’t support some polygamists who engage in various kinds of fraud, legal loophole jumping or worse, abuse. Those folks should be punished.

There are far more good polygamist families that get no media attention than the handful of sects stinking up the rest of the groups. It’s an unfair judgement, we the outsiders, do. We all have an opinion of polygamy. Some of us are more vocal about it. I have had little to say about it until today.

Utah will not prosecute polygamist. It’s a Freedom of Religion black hole that would require public funding to sustain a fight that will offer no resolution. What does Utah do with its sects who they all know are creating havoc among the communities? They gather information for years, come up with a way to attack the families that are breaking certain laws and go after whoever they can. It’s a roll of the dice. One of 6 of them will get nailed for something. Is it right? No. Is it what happens? Yes.

Until there is leadership in place nothing will ever change in that state. They look the other way and hope nothing bad is going on.

One of the people I have come to know lives in California. She went online filled out a food stamp application for the state of Utah. Just to prove to me they don’t do any due diligence. She provided documentation she ordered online, but no driver’s license or even her social security card. She communicated back and forth and was able to obtain $60 of food stamps a month from the State of Utah. She went to a Walmart, still in California, and purchased food items, took pictures of all of this and posted it on twitter. She cut up the card and turned herself in. Again the State of Utah sent her a letter stating they were amending her food stamps down to $15. She called them and told them yet they did not prosecute or even take her funds away. She has left the account untouched since her first trip and says her account now has $75 in it.

What is going on in Utah? How can it be that easy to do? And why when she told on herself did they do nothing? It’s confusing. No wonder the bad sects get away with all of it.

Historically polygamy has always been the black sheep. We are all learning more about what polygamy is about.

The only family I know who is actively seeking the right to marry all of the wives into his family gets little or no media attention. And he has done everything the right way. He has remained open, spent tens of thousands of his own money and no one listens. Why can’t he marry all of his wives? He pays taxes, he is not abusive and he provides for his family on the back of his hard work. Where is the support from all of the other polygamist for this family? Isn’t that the reason they do spiritual marriages? Because they want marriages within all of the relationships? I would think all polygamist families would be outside his home asking what can we do to help you! You are the champion of our cause? Nope. That’s not happening. Why? Because all polygamist fear going to jail for their right to live as a polygamist.

Its easier to pack your boxes and run out of state than to stand right there and say come at me bro. I believe and support the rights of all religion beliefs. That’s what America was founded on?

I am Catholic which always comes with a groan of disdain from people who only know Catholic religion as the one where Priests abuse kids. Not all Catholics are like that and we fight for the victims that have no voice and no protection.

Why are more people not fighting for families to exercise their freedom of religion to become a family? If you want to marry someone or 4 someones, go for it I say. Put laws against underage marriages. Put in laws about actually doing something about the corruption and fraud some sects built their names on. You can’t regulate what people believe in but you can regulate the manner in which they partake of it. Set up town hall meetings and at the very least start having open discussions.

Or keep turning a blind eye and ignore the screams of the women and children forced into a life they feel has no exit door.

If you are a polygamist and want to leave, do it. You are an individual and have all the same rights anyone else does. There are more and more being set up specifically to help you. There are more people leaving polygamy than ever before. Why is that?

If you are a polygamist and know of abuses for God’s sake tell someone. You don’t have to hide it anymore. Someone will help you.

If you are like me and don’t get polygamy, just let them live their lives. Our Constitution protects their rights. As long as the State agencies approve of the food stamps going to these women and men there is nothing you can do to change it.

If it comes down to denying a family of 10 enough money to eat or not to eat the State chooses to give them the money. So let them have it. If the resources are being abused at some point they will get caught. Or they will get $15 each month. That still blows my mind.

What I learned about polygamy was not good. I heard stories of mental, emotional abuse and abandonment. So much so a journal was kept documenting all of the terrible things being said with a note on the front saying If You Find This.

Polygamy can work if the adults inside of it respect each other. Otherwise it turns into a cluster you know what of jealousy, mistrust, and a lifetime of wasted hope.

We all can do a better job of supporting polygamy. Or if not, do something. Because asking me what do I think about it has made me realize how bizarre that whole thing really was. You can’t remove someone who is brainwashed into believing if you leave you lose everything. No one would ever leave with that kind of threat. Only a strong woman would find her way out.

Time will tell, won’t it baby 😉

I am excited to read all of your comments. I know this one is throwing gasoline on this fire Lol Let me hear your thoughts!

About Samuel

Single dad of 4 beautiful kids, Heston & Alex my twin boys, and my daughters Peace and Sky. Dad of 2 angel babies in Heaven, Ryan and Talon. Divorced. Semi-retired app developer, business partner, Commercial Real estate investor, Chicago Bears & Chicago Cubs fan, vegan, lifelong Catholic, voting independent party member, guitar playing singer who owns a dog, and 2 cats. We live in beautiful Denver, Colorado. I started my first blog Janaury 1st, 2012. Official owner of NotBatmanYet.com and @NotBatmanYet Twitter account.
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  1. Removed for privacy

    No problem. You’re entirely welcome. :}

    I guess I taught too many college English comp classes. My virtual “red pen” is always subconsciously at the ready, and I find myself constantly editing and re-working everything I read. It can be exhausting! lol.

    I hope you and your boys continue to thrive on love. Stay blessed.

    P.S. Publish/don’t publish. I know this thread’s topic is polygamy, and I’m not trying to highjack it. Have a good night! ~Saffron

  2. Polygamy or polyamory or any alternative lifestyle can work for everyone involved IF everyone involved is exercising total and complete honesty and free will. There should be an exit plan for anyone who does not want to be “in it”. The thing that keeps people imprisoned in cults is FEAR of exit. That fear is the koolaid. Personally, I think that more programs should be developed to provide safe exit for those who want out. There are extreme versions of everything, whether it’s polygamy or Christian cults…those are the situations that should be targeted for intervention, vs. making a blanket law that it’s illegal. Go after the ones who are holding others hostage and provide a way out for those who don’t want to be there.

  3. I am a believer of live and let live, as long as no one is being forced or abused into a situation they have no control over and they are over the age of consent (so no child brides kind of thing).
    As long as everyone involved is happy and retains their personal freedom to choose what they want, and the right to change their mind, why should it be any of my business??
    I am Catholic, but don’t share a lot of views that other Catholics do. I believe in gay marriage, for example. My faith is personal and between me and God and I shouldn’t have to defend myself and my choices to anyone. Nor should anyone else. No one gives me the right to hold a higher moral high ground over anyone, so others should show the same respect.

    • Great comments. I also support Gay marriage and have no problem letting my Church community know my opinion. Again it’s not for me. I have no right to tell 2 people they can not be in love. I’m a bit homophobic in the aspect that I’m not fond of gay men being physically touchy with me. It makes me uncomfortable but it’s something that is my issue. I just laugh and try to get over myself. Ashamed to admit it but it is my truth. I will always be respectful to everyone.

  4. You know I love this post more than I can say! Proud to call you friend!

  5. Removed for privacy

    “…groan of disdain” (not “groin”). ;}

    • Only I can see your email address and I removed your name. That’s the beauty of writing my posts on my iPhone. The autocorrect changes words to other things that I don’t catch until I have time to go back and edit. Thanks for the heads up sweetheart.

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