Life is good

life I love my family. They have been here since Friday. It’s great spending time with them. There were a few years that I was not around them. We all struggled from the loss of my grandmother. She was the head of the family. Without her, our family split into 3 different directions. Nothing we tried to do together would work out. There were always fights so I stopped going back for family events. It was too much to deal with. Mostly it was just really sad to me. I felt bad that no one seemed to bring them all back together. I don’t know how or why but it seems to me everyone is coming back together naturally. We are all trading emails with photos of the kids or vacations. We are all talking about family trips to see each other. It’s a good place to be in right now with them. I know that it won’t last long, it never does, but for now it’s a blessing. I want my boys to know our family. We are all crazy but we are fun. I’ve seen my family struggle but never talk things out. We grew up thinking the best thing was to suffer in silence and keep praying. That’s wrong. You need to talk about what’s going on. It makes you feel better and the thing is this, someone may have words of wisdom that can help you. Even if all they do is listen, that lets some of the pressure off.
I’ve always had Drew and Lindz. They know when I’m tired or crabby or happy. They’ve seen it all. I couldn’t ask for better friends. I hope my children realize that even though they are not blood related that Uncle Drew and Aunt Lindsay are going to help me raise them. Drew will bring the traditional Catholic, sports minded, family part. Lindsay will bring the crazy amount of fun let’s eat cake for breakfast part. I’m starting to realize life is all about balance. When you are unhappy there has been a shift in your energy source. When you are happy, everything seems to be in order. I’m noticing more and more what makes me happy and what doesn’t. I started dropping people from my life that weren’t adding anything positive. It didn’t go over well but that’s life. I’m much more at peace knowing I am doing what I need to do to make sure my babies don’t feel tension from me. I’m trying to do my very best with them. I don’t mind the nights where I only get 2 hours of sleep. I don’t mind the endless diapers, feedings, and baths. I love it all. I’m at an age where I can appreciate every moment with them. If I was younger I would have breezed through these weeks and not really thought about it.
I love my boys. I wanted them from the moment I heard about the situation. Well I wanted the baby I thought was coming. I dropped the phone when she told me they found out it was twins Lol And then I wanted them both together. I couldn’t imagine my life without these 2 little guys. They are perfect. They aren’t at the age where they realize that life can be tough. They don’t have the sense that bad things can happen. They are living life without a care in the world. Because they have all of us to take care of them. That’s how we should all feel in relationships and friendships. That you know your group will be there for you no matter what. 20 of my closet friends I’ve known since I was 10 years old. Half of that group I’ve known since birth. We have stayed friends because we all went through the school years together. Some have been divorced a few times, all of them have a kid or kids. When we all see each other it’s just like old times. A big smile then a hug. Then how’s it going? My 25 year school reunion is coming up and I just can’t believe it. 25 years since I was in high school? How did that even happen. What have I done in my life with the 25 years since I graduated? Was it good enough? Have I been kind? Have I helped anyone that asked for help? To me that’s what defines me. I have success in business, but who really cares. I can’t take my job home and show it to my boys. But I can take stories home about how I helped someone who day. That’s what I tell them at night when I’m getting them ready for bed. I feed them and talk about my day. Funny things that happened or something really cool I saw. (The new Bolt car is pretty cool) I don’t want them to live a life of privilege and not be humbled by all of the hard work my family has put in to get us here. My grandmother’s family legacy is all about hard work. And none of my family works except a few of us. That’s how everyone was able to stay and visit so long. Also the reason they can just pick up and fly out here so easily.
I am a trust fund kid. I have never denied that. But what some people don’t realize is I worked my way up. I had a job at McDonald’s. I worked for my dad. I did landscaping. I had really bad college jobs helping people move or doing deliveries on campus. I have always worked since I can remember. Both of my boys will work to. During and after college if they choose to go. I’m not going to be setting up a trust fund for them. I will support them always but they need to work or do something they are passionate about. I never wanted to work in construction. I wanted to be a chef. My hand is so messed up from injuries that I can’t get it to use a knife like I know I would have to. That was my dream. I never went after it because obligation and trying to do things on my own never allowed the time to go to culinary school. I admire folks that have. I love talking food and learning how to do things. I love cooking and finding new recipes. I cook almost all of my meals myself. Rarely do I get food and bring it home. Even when I get food for the girls I either grab a salad or I don’t get anything for myself. I learned from my dad to always make sure you had enough money in your pocket to feed yourself at the start of the day. I’ve done that. It wasn’t always easy but I knew if things got really bad I could call my mom and she would send me $20 for the week. I want my kids to chase their dreams.
I know we will live overseas. I want them to have the entire world as their teacher. We will travel and learn new languages. We are already speaking Spanish to them. I know how to say I love you in Spanish and how to count to 5. I want them to have every opportunity they can. I know when it’s time for them to find a career it will be one they love. What’s that saying? If you can do something you love, you never work a day in your life? That’s how I want them to feel. That’s how I feel now doing the investments. I get to pick my projects and watch nothing turn into something great. It’s like playing with legos everyday and building something.
The financial forecasts are all pretty ominous. The oil prices tanking out wasn’t supposed to last this long. We forecasted it 3 years ago. That’s why we expanded to Oklahoma City because we knew oil prices would bottom out. That’s the best time for my industry to buy up all of the smaller based energy companies that feed the larger corporate companies and start to corner the market. It’s been a great strategy but it’s also difficult because you take a guy who has owned his company for 40 years and see me waltz in and pick it apart. The ones that we can help, we give back to them after we show them how to run it more efficiently. I’m not about grabbing all of the money and running. That’s what happened in Detroit. The auto industry moved and several large cities look like war zones. It’s tragic. I want to come in and help a company out because that creates jobs for people who live there. Hard working people who want to earn a paycheck and work in a safe environment. I hope that the market starts an upswing. But it’s not looking like it will until 2 years from now. Until then I pray we all find a balance. Life isn’t about work or success. It’s about family. I’m doing all I can to teach my babies, even this young, what balance means to stay happy forever. I’m talking to them about it. In our daily prayers I’m asking God to show them what their purpose is. It’s important for me to show them how good life really is.
I am really happy. I couldn’t imagine my life getting any better than it is right now. Things are great. I can’t believe I found peace, finally. I hope you all find that too. It’s the best feeling. It really is.

About Samuel

Single dad of 4 beautiful kids, Heston & Alex my twin boys, and my daughters Peace and Sky. Dad of 2 angel babies in Heaven, Ryan and Talon. Divorced. Semi-retired app developer, business partner, Commercial Real estate investor, Chicago Bears & Chicago Cubs fan, vegan, lifelong Catholic, voting independent party member, guitar playing singer who owns a dog, and 2 cats. We live in beautiful Denver, Colorado. I started my first blog Janaury 1st, 2012. Official owner of and @NotBatmanYet Twitter account.
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One Comment

  1. Kenzie Mattingly

    New life has a way of restoring chaos within a family. Children are like the missing piece to the puzzle. Once you have them everything falls into place. Even on the rough days. It brings loved ones together. I’m so glad you are reconnecting with your family. It takes a village and there’s nothing more important than family.

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