156th Voicemail, 157th Voicemail, 158th Voicemail, 159th Voicemail, 160th Voicemail – June 24th, 2015 – Our Utah Trip Together

Meri wanted to have a private spiritual union ceremony together up on the mountain at her favorite place. She said we would promise to someday marry each other and that we would get rings and start to wear them as a symbol of our committment. At this point she wasn’t even wearing her wedding band during filming at all. We talked about doing it but we never did. We spent a lot of time talking and figuring out where we will live, how many kids we wanted. We fell in love all over again on this trip. It was very romantic. The sex was amazing because we could be loud and not worry about anyone in my hotel room knowing it was her. We made love every day, sometimes 3 times a day/night. We had an amazing time together on that trip. I fell in love with her all over again.

156th Voicemail 6-24-2015 12:08am

Baby why aren’t you answering your phone? Listen, you must not have got my text. That was just a cute little conversation that somebody had on Pinterest. It was just a Pinterest thing. And I thought it was just cute because all it was me saying that your smile or my smile is just specificially for you. That’s all it was. It’s just something on Pinterest. Okay? Don’t worry, don’t get funny? Okay? I love you.

157th Voicemail 6-24-2015 12:16am

Okay baby you need to answer the phone. I don’t know what’s going on but you need to stop whatever it is you are thinking and quit going there. Okay? Don’t take this completely out of context it was a thing on Pinterest. You know what? Just call me back okay?

158th Voicemail 6-24-2015 8:45am

Hey I’m not quite sure how long you wanted me to stop calling you. So I’ll just do it this once today until I know that you are ready to talk to me. I don’t know what is going on I’m really, really confused and now you’re not answering this call. I just, I don’t know what is going on. So, anyway,  just know that I am open for a phone call from you whenever you ready. I don’t really have no idea what’s going on at all. So anyway, just know that I love you and you can call me whenever you…

159th Voicemail 6-24-2015 7:01pm

Forgive me for being a nag. It’s been like a half an hour baby. I’m just anxiously awaiting your arrival. Come find me baby.

160th Voicemail 6-24-2015 8:16pm

Hey just letting you know I called. I love you, bye.

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152nd Voicemail, 153rd Voicemail, 154th Voicemail, 155th Voicemail – June 23rd, 2015 – Our Utah Trip Together

This began our first vacation together. We met up and decided to head to the mountains where we could get lost in the trees and no one would know who we were. It was a lot of fun with her showing me around Lehi and the surrounding towns. I was very surprised at her house. The original one that was on the show. They have a renter living upstairs now but we went to the downstairs side, through the back of the house that used to be Christine’s. It was very interesting for me to see a polygamist house. It was in the middle of a remodel so it wasn’t put together but it was different.

152nd Voicemail June 23rd, 2015 12:21am
https://vimeo.com/166276841 (This audio file had to be remade it was corrupted so we moved it to Vimeo)

Hi baby just trying to reach you.

153rd Voicemail 6-23-2015 12:43am


154th Voicemail 6-23-2015 7:01pm

Hey just touching base with you. I’m out of the mountain so anyways give me a call when you can. Okay. Love you, bye.

155th Voicemail 6-23-2015 8:16pm

Hey where are you at, what’s going on, how are you doing? All of that stuff. Anyway, give me a call when you can. Okay I love you, bye.

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146th Voicemail, 147th Voicemail, 148th Voicemail, 149th Voicemail, 150th Voicemail, 151st Voicemail June 22, 2015 – Our Vacation in Utah

I had been talking about my week in Paris work trip for 2 months. Meri decided she wanted to go away for a week to just get her life figured out. She told the family she would be gone, she would not tell them where she was going to be, and she needed time to think. We talked about her coming to Paris with me but my concern was the press people or fans recognizing her and then everyone would know. Then the idea came that we would go somewhere together. I told her go to Utah. We can get lost in the mountains. So she drove up to Utah and stayed in their old house. She stayed in Christine’s apartment, back of the house, downstairs area. I drove up the next day that evening and got a hotel. Meri’s sister lives a few houses down from the old house so she had to be seen staying there at night. Or at least her vehicle there.

146th Voicemail 6-22-2015 12:21am

Hi baby I’m just trying to reach you. Just give me a call if you want to. And, I will talk to you soon. Okay. I love you, bye.

147th Voicemail 6-22-2015 12:24am

Hey. Wanting to talk to you. Call me when you can, okay? Love you, bye.

148th Voicemail 6-22-2015 12:43am

Hey. Just wanted to try to touch base with you. Say goodnight. If you want to. I don’t know if you’ve already gone to bed. So anyway. Talk to you later. Call me (Me beeping in) if you want. Oh look there you are.

149th Voicemail 6-22-2015 1:08am

Baby, where’d you go. I need you. Will you please call me. I need you baby.

150th Voicemail 6-22-2015 7:21am

Hey can you give me a call? Thanks, love you bye.

151st Voicemail 6-22-2015 11:59am

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Do you understand me. I love you.


144th Voicemail, 145th Voicemail – June 21st, 2015

She was getting ready to leave to go up to Utah. This was our planned vacation together. I was trying to get out of work in time to just ride up with her but that didn’t work out at all. So I followed her up to Utah in my own vehicle.

144th Voicemail 6-21-2015 3:38pm

Hey I called. Call me back, okay? Love you, bye.

145th Voicemail 6-21-2015 3:56pm

So sorry for blowing up your phone but I just can’t wait. Please don’t make me wait much longer. Okay? Just call me. I love you babe.

140th Voicemail, 141st Voicemail, 142nd Voicemail, 143rd Voicemail – June 10th, 2015

This is when she sent me all of the text messages between her and Kendra. It was shocked to see what people had begun to say about me and to say about us. I had no idea anyone paid attention to this kind of thing. We talked about a lot of things and decided to start being more careful when we were using Twitter. So we began to not tweet as much to each other anymore.

140th Voicemail 6-10-2015 7:16am

Wakey wakey sleepyhead. I’m just calling you I’m out walking. So just give me a call, okay? Love you, bye.

141st Voicemail 6-10-2015 10:01am

Oh my gosh that totally came out wrong. I’m really, really sorry please call me. Oh my gosh. No. I was just saying just like. Do you know how you were saying to me the other day about oh you know anything text can be used you know becareful about what you text or something. Anyway, I’m sorry that totally came out wrong. Anyway, give me a call, okay.

142nd Voicemail 6-10-2015 6:20pm

Hey so. I thought since you are off work I thought I would just try giving you a call. Seeing how you are doing. Anyways, just give me a call when you have a minute. Okay. I’ll talk to you…

143rd Voicemail 6-10-2015 11:26pm

Baby you told me I could call you whenever I wanted. So I’m calling you and just wondering where you are or what are you doing. It’s like super late. I haven’t talked to you in hours and I’m just wondering what’s going on. And I just want to know like what’s going on with all of this stuff and I miss you and I’m hoping you are doing okay. Anyway, okay…


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133rd Voicemail, 134th Voicemail, 135th Voicemail, 136th Voicemail, 137th Voicemail, 138th Voicemail, 139th Voicemail – June 9th, 2015

This was not a fun day in the morning time. Meri had lied to me. She was really upset she got caught. But she was more upset about how she got caught. She slipped up and I said wait a minute then caught her. Then she lied about lying and that was 2 lies in a row. I was pissed. I was angry but more frustrated. It only lasted a few hours because I knew she didn’t want to lie to me. She just didn’t know or think the lies would be found out. I told her that I loved her and don’t lie to me. There was nothing at all she could ever say to me that would hurt me more than a lie.

We did a lot of communicating and working things out. There were things that she questioned me about too and I gave her the information right away. We both felt better. We both felt a little hurt but love. It was always love that won. I loved Meri so much it didn’t matter to me that she lied to me. I mean it pissed me off. But I only wanted her to be happy and choose to be with me. Not feel like she was stuck with me because for 5 years she felt stuck and trapped with him in their relationship.

I offered her freedom. I offered her unconditional love and non-judgement. I supported everything she said and wanted to do. But most of all I really did love her and only her. That was the one thing he could not offer her anymore. And she wanted that. To have me all to herself. That’s why she called so much. She wanted me around all of the time.

We did work things out and went back to being in love and very sweet to each other. Unfortunately for me, this wouldn’t be the last time Meri lied to me. She only lies when she doesn’t want to say something or she doesn’t know how to say something. That’s the honest truth. I don’t believe Meri is a liar. I do believe she does lie about some huge things in her life and maybe that’s her way of not dealing with them.

133rd Voicemail 6-9-2015 8:03am

Baby I know your phone is turned off. And you’ve probably blocked me and I don’t know if you will even get this. I don’t even know what to say except for what I’ve said before. I am sorry. I did nothing on purpose. I did not keep that from you on purpose. I am so sorry. I know how it looks and it was not what it was intended at all. I did not even know about what was going on with that business dealing with them until it was halfway through. It just was not even on my radar to even talk to you about it. I just, am so sorry. So sorry for the anger, and hurt and pain. I’m really sorry. Please call me.

134th Voicemail 6-9-2015 8:16am

Baby I am so sorry. I can’t. Imagine what I have done to you and the hurt that I have caused you. And I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I need you to just please call me, okay baby? I just can’t even think of what else to say. Please just call me.

135th Voicemail 6-9-2015 8:23am

Samuel. Samuel Cooper. You are what I want. Do you understand that? I need you to know this. You are what I want. I am out for you and that is all I am out for. That’s all. That’s all I want. I’m not going for anybody else. I am just so sorry. Please talk to me. Please talk to me.

136th Voicemail 6-9-2015 8:57am

Samuel I am so sorry. This was an honest mistake it was a huge mistake but it was an honest mistake. And I am so sorry. I am sick about this. I am sick mostly of how you feel about me because of it. I know you are angry with me and it is completely warranted and I am so sorry. I didn’t do it on purpose. I just wasn’t even thinking about that aspect of it. And it had nothing to do with trying to withhold anything. I swear to you baby. I swear. I don’t even know if I could even ever convince you of it. I am so sorry. This is screwing up your life and my life and us. And I hate it. I am so angry about it. I am so angry that she is doing this. I don’t know why she is doing this. I don’t get it. I am so angry.

137th Voicemail 6-9-2015 3:06pm

Hi, could you call me please. I want to know what those phone numbers were that you listed off the other day, yesterday. Last night. I’ve gotten a couple of calls from California and I don’t know, I haven’t answered them. But I don’t know who they are and I don’t know if it’s something I need to be concerned about if she’s got another phone possibly that I need to block. Anyway, could you give me a call and give me a heads up on what’s going on?

138th Voicemail 6-9-2015 9:14pm

Samuel. I know it’s not fair or appropriate to try to apologize and ruin that an apology with an excuse. I know that. All I can say is I’m sorry. Nothing was done with any malintent. I did not even think. I did not even think about that issue. It did not even cross my mind. I never. Oh god. It didn’t even go there. I am not out to get you for anything other than you and who you are because I love you. That’s all. You asked me to stay open to you and I did. You made me fall so in love with you. You made me fall really, really hard. That’s all I want. That’s all I’ve wanted. Please call me. Please let me talk to you, please. I hope your appointment goes well. I really do.

139th Voicemail 6-9-2015 11:13pm

Baby please will you do whatever the physical therapist is asking you to do. Lindsay texted you. She said you are kind of being stubborn. Will you please just do what you need to do to heal your foot. Okay? You need that healed. Okay? Please. I love you, bye.

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128th Voicemail, 129th Voicemail, 130th Voicemail, 131st Voicemail, 132nd Voicemail – June 8th, 2015

Very busy day for both of us. We were still talking about the Kendra issue and some of the rumors flying around. We were solid. It actually brought us closer together. We were very protective of each other. I had Lindsay going around getting rid of a lot of people talking about us on Facebook. That’s where all the accounts came up missing. Lindsay was deleting accounts not just posts and comments. It was helping. This is when the group of haters and trolls started to join forces against Lindsay because she knocked out their personal Facebook accounts that had all their kids photos, family photos and years and years of information on it. She warned them all to delete everything that mentioned Meri and I or else. The or else came and they were pissed. Really pissed.

This was also a day that Meri we very sweet. She was so in love and I was so in love. We didn’t let much of this stuff bother us. We were smart and trying to keep it off Twitter from now on. We were still posting somethings but we started using coded messages so it wasn’t as obvious. We always posted things to each other in the morning. Every morning. Then during the day if we saw something or heard a song we would post that too. She had a pile of letters I had written to her. And cards. Things I had given to her or Lindsay had given to her from me, or I mailed to her. I’m pretty sure those letters and cards are in the trash by now but she loved them. She would sit in her chair and re-read some of them because she loved how much I talked about loving her and how she made me feel. I also would talk about what I saw as our future and how happy I was being hers. I write very good letters.

This was also the night right before I discovered she had lied to me. And she lied to me twice about the same issue. I was pissed by the morning. I did not block her but I was not answering her at all. I couldn’t believe she had lied to me. It really shocked me and hurt my feelings. We had prided oursevles on always being honest even if something was difficult to say. We would always warn each other, this may piss you off but… Then state what it was. That way we would each get that moment to take a deep breath and get ready for something big.

128th Voicemail 6-8-2015 1:41pm

Hey. I was just listening to a message that you left me a couple of days ago. You were like. I love you. Meri, I love you. And it was just really sweet. And I thought you know what. I’m going to quit being shy about it. So Samuel. I love you. Anyway, call me when you have a second. Hope you are having a fabulous day. I love you. I really do. Okay. Call…

129th Voicemail 6-8-2015 4:00pm

Hey baby I was just out running errands and I’ve got a question for you on one of my errands but I can take care of it tomorrow. If I don’t hear from you. Actually it’s probably getting late enough I may have to take care of it tomorrow anyway. Give me a call when you have a second.

130th Voicemail 6-8-2015 5:00pm

Hey, so you told me to let you know when I was driving down your road. So I’m driving down your road so I’m letting you know. And I thought it would be fun to see if I could try to catch you but maybe you are busy. Anyway, so that’s all. And actually because we haven’t talked in over 2 hours. So I was just touching base with you. Hope you are having a good afternoon and things are fabulous.

131st Voicemail 6-8-2015 6:24pm

Hey baby it’s been like 4 hours since we’ve talked. I thought we were going to try to be in touch a little bit more. A little bit better. To get things going back on track. Anyway, give me a call when you have time. Okay. I love…

132nd Voicemail 6-8-2015 7:18pm

Hey, so I have a favor to ask. Since you tell me that you can’t say no to anybody. All I’m going to say is I need you to stop being polite to me. Alright? No more just being polite, okay? Okay. That’s all. I love you, bye.


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