Offerings

I did not catfish Meri Brown. I did not catfish anyone else either. There are a lot of false stories. Think about who the source is that you got the information from before you believe anything. Just Sayin 😉

The reason why I held on to this last set is because it tells why we broke up. I had begun working incredibly long hours. It was too much for me and for her. I wasn’t able to talk to her very often or even see her like we had been doing. We started doing Facetime and Skype to stay in touch when it had been a few days since we saw each other. But I couldn’t get work caught up. I tried to do my best to stay in touch. She was pretty upset. I was upset that she was upset. And we began to bicker. Often about not having time for each other. We both had gotten so used to spending all of our free time together. This was not what we had promised to each other. I didn’t realize my work was going to happen like this. I was stressed out, she was missing me. And it a very hard time on both of us. Mostly her because she just missed me. It was very unfair to her.

195th Voicemail July 9, 2015 10:32am
https://vimeo.com/166426756
Um, I just hope you’ll trust me. Okay? I’ll talk to you later.
196th Voicemail July 10, 2015 10:51am
https://vimeo.com/166426759
There’s that comment, hey I’ve got to take this call. Okay. I love you I’ll talk to you later, okay. Bye.
197th Voicemail July 10, 2015 9:14pm
https://vimeo.com/166426762
I love you babe. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.
198th Voicemail July 12, 2015 6:38pm
https://vimeo.com/166426755
I need to know where you are babe. I need to get in there and see you. Okay? Give me a call. Come on answer my phone. Alright? I love you?
199th Voicemail July 13th, 2015 3:51pm
https://vimeo.com/166426763
Hey, just give me a call, okay? I love you. Bye.
200th Voicemail July 14th, 2015 1:12am
https://vimeo.com/166426760
I was just trying. I was doing everything that you wanted me to do. So.
201st Voicemail July 15th, 2015 8:31pm
https://vimeo.com/166426765
Samuel. I don’t know if you are even going to get this message or you are even going to listen to it but I really need you to hear me out. I need you to stop doing this. Please. I am here for you for whatever you need whenever you need it and you know that. I have done this. The whole time. I am here and you are not sharing with me. You are not opening up to me and you just keep shutting me out. I don’t know what you need unless you open yourself up to me. You can’t just call me and say what are you doing? And I start sharing with you what you are doing and then your just shutting me down. I don’t know what that is all about. I don’t understand this. I love you. You called and say you just have a couple of minutes what are you doing and I start telling you and you are like Oh, okay, well nevermind, okay, bye. And then like I needed help but nevermind. That’s fine and I’m like babe just tell me what you need. I can’t read your mind. I can’t read your mind. I try. I try so hard but I just can’t do it I’m doing my very best. Baby, gosh. Tell me what you need. Tell me how I can help you. Tell me how I can be there for you. That’s all I want. Okay? You just need to open up to me. I love you. And when you hang up the phone on me and you just run away and don’t say anything. God, baby.
202nd Voicemail July 16th, 2015 10:02am
https://vimeo.com/166426768
I love you. I love you. I love you.
203rd Voicemail July 17th, 2015 6:30pm
https://vimeo.com/166426761
Oh, anyway, I hope you’re okay. I just want you to know I love you and I would love to touch base with you again today. We haven’t, I mean we talked this morning you know, for a while and that was great. And just for a second this afternoon and I caught you at a bad time but, anyway. So I would love to talk to you this evening and say goodnight to you and stuff. So, anyway, I hope you are okay. I’m kind of getting a little nervous that you are not and I just want to make sure that you’re okay. So, I just need you to know that I love you very much and I’m not going anywhere I’m right here. And I’m happy about it.
204th Voicemail July 18th, 2015 12:30am
https://vimeo.com/166426769
I had fun. It was fun. You got to see me. You are really cute on the phone. You are really sweet. I don’t. Now I’m just afraid I scared you off or something. Anyway, I love you. I just wish you would talk to me. Okay?
205th Voicemail July 18th, 2015 12:35am
https://vimeo.com/166426771
Don’t take that away from us okay? It’s very special to me. You know that. I feel like you have been struggling tonight and I don’t understand why. And I’m trying to just be very caring and very understanding. You’ve hung up on me like 3 times. And I’m just. I guess I’ll just give you your space I understand that you need that and just know that it’s breaking my heart because I don’t know what’s going on. You just keep saying it’s fine, it’s fine. And usually when you do that something is really bugging you and I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s some other external thing. I don’t even know. I guess I will just give you the space that you need. Just know that I am really sad about it. Because I don’t know what is going on and I feel like it’s me and I don’t know what I did. If what I said was not how I think you took it and it wasn’t at all. So I’m very sorry that I said it in a way that you misunderstood and it came across in a different way. I’m very sorry about that. Anyway. I wish that you weren’t so mad at me right now. I hate it when you are mad at me. I wish that you weren’t pushing me away. I love you very much.
206th Voicemail July 18th, 2015 12:41am

https://vimeo.com/166426770
Okay. I look forward to talking to you on the phone.
207th Voicemail July 21st, 2015 10:59pm

https://vimeo.com/166426775
Um, let me know what’s going on because I’m kind of confused now.
208th Voicemail July 22nd 2015, 11:10am

https://vimeo.com/166426781
Why won’t you answer your call, your phone? Why are you ignoring me? I don’t understand. I didn’t do anything wrong here.
209th Voicemail July 22nd, 2015 11:51am
https://vimeo.com/166426779
Sam. I need you to call me. Please. Okay? I don’t know what’s going on. I just don’t understand why you’ve completely shut down on me. I didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong. There is absolutely no reason for this to have happened. I don’t understand. And you are saying to me I don’t understand why it gets like this and I’m like I don’t either. So why don’t you just give me a call and let’s talk about it. Okay? I love you. We need to figure this out because…
210th Voicemail July 24th, 2015 11:41pm
https://vimeo.com/166426780
I don’t know what’s going on. You are ignoring me you are not talking to me and I just don’t know what to do. So just please call me, okay? I love you. I do. I’m sorry for whatever it was that I said that made you mad at me. I don’t even know what’s going. Thinking back over the conversation and thinking what did I even say obviously I said something so. I’m really sorry, please forgive me, please come back to me, please stop being mad at me. Please just call me okay? I love you I’ll talk to you later. Call me whenever you want, okay. I’m here I’m not going anywhere, okay? I love you.
211th Voicemail July 26th, 2015 11:46pm
https://vimeo.com/166426774
So I see you don’t want to say goodnight to me anymore because it’s probably been about, well I guess Tuesday night we did talk. But other than that it’s probably about the last 5 nights or so you refuse to talk to me at night and I don’t know why. I don’t know what’s going on. One time you told me that you wanted to you know that you have this expectation, you were upset with me when I had texted you to say that I was going to bed or something like this. This was a while ago. And you got mad at me, you were like well I have this expectation that we would say goodnight, everynight. Well I now have come to have that expectation too and you know I’ve enjoyed that I like that. I like chatting with you and touching base with you at night, saying goodnight I love you sleep well you know that kind of stuff. And you’re ignoring me, completely shutting me out and I did nothing wrong here.
212th Voicemail July 26th, 2015 11:48pm
https://vimeo.com/166426778
I need some communication. Without communication I don’t know what to do. Okay? I want to talk to you. That’s what I need. I need that. I need you to please call me. Okay? I love you, you know I love you. You know this. But I need to know that you love me too. And I need you to call me. Okay? I need us to talk on the phone. We can’t go to bed like this. I can’t have you just ignoring me like this.
213th Voicemail July 27th, 2015 10:04pm
https://vimeo.com/166426777
Babe, there’s no way in hell for me to know that you really wanted to meet me tonight, again.
214th Voicemail July 27th, 2015 10:10pm
https://vimeo.com/166426776
I promised you I wasn’t going anywhere. I love you but I just need to know what you want. I need you to open the hell up to me and tell me what you want from me. Tell me what you need from me. I can’t read your mind. Alright, I love you.

And more on it’s way soon 😉

194th Voicemail – July 8th, 2015

Just another day where we talked a lot and texted a lot. So in love.

194th Voicemail 7-8-2015 12:44am
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEI9dO-GPnc&feature=youtu.be

Hey baby. Sorry I just saw your text it just barely came through. So yeah I’m just reminding you to call me because it’s been like an hour since you showered. Okay. Give me a call, I love you, bye.

 

 

192nd Voicemail, 193rd Voicemail – July 6th, 2015

We are still in love and still spending a lot of time together or talking on the phone. Things couldn’t be better.

192nd Voicemail 7-6-2015 10:55am
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdMdJ2aVfKo&feature=youtu.be

Baby. My baby. Baby. Baby. Call me back, baby. Can you tell I listened to your message. Baby? Baby? Mmmmhmmm, baby.

193rd Voicemail 7-6-2015 12:21pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyb2gL1ED6g&feature=youtu.be

Hey I’m done so. Call me whenever you want if you have time. Hope your day is going well. Okay. I love you. I’ll talk to you later.

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191st Voicemail, July 5th, 2015

This is the most ridiculous thing Meri ever said to me. She was crocheting something and we had been joking about all the silly things you can cover up with crocheted covers. Like a toaster cover and such. She said she could make me a hat. Then it turned dirty and she said she could make me something else Lol To cover a body part up and then we both died laughing. It was the most hilarious thing she had ever said and it caught me off guard because she had never made a joke like that before. We probably laughed for a half hour. That’s what those texts are in regards to. It cracks me up thinking about all the things she said about making a cover for it. I was crying I was laughing so hard.

191st Voicemail 7-5-2015 6:34pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfLqhI1tY7I&feature=youtu.be

Oh lord. Please don’t tell me you still not done it’s been 45 minutes. I love you, call me back. Bye.

 

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190th Voicemail – July 4th, 2015

190th Voicemail 7-4-2015 3:11pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-I9tjgTbOI&feature=youtu.be

Baby, my baby. Give me a call when you can. Love you, bye.

Meri and Robyn had went to see the movie Age of Adeline in the theater a few weeks before this. She said she wanted to watch it again. I had never seen it. I found the link online, sent it to her and we watched it while I was working on emails from my house. It was a great movie. It’s full of historical references. I’m a history nerd. Love those kinds of films.

On the 4th of July the entire family went up to St George, Utah where Robyn is from to enjoy the festivities. Meri told me that they chose to go there because Kody and Robyn like their 4th of July events there. Everyone went, except Meri. She wanted to stay home to be with me. These are the photos I have. 20150704_144412 20150704_144442 20150704_144511It’s the back of Meri’s house and showing the yard.

 

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189th Voicemail – July 2nd, 2015

189th Voicemail 7-2-2015 10:41am
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nff1MVj3IDk&feature=youtu.be

Hey just wanted to call and tell you that I was thinking about you and I don’t want to interrupt your work I know you are busy. But I just miss you and love you and feeling greedy for you today. Anyways, I hope you have a fabulous day and I will talk to you as soon as you’re able. She had to wear pajamas that fully cover her up for their religious modesty reason. It was really hot in Las Vegas so I told her I would help her pick out a lighter pajama set because she had been struggling to sleep. I sent one from Target I found online. She went and picked it up and took this photo modeling it. She said she slept a lot better that night. She said she should have done that years ago but because of him she had to follow their beliefs. She said she was going to start wearing shorts more often too, it was just too hot.

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This was a typical day. We are both working but making time for quick phone calls and texts back andforth. Very happy and in love. 20150702_084638 20150702_204130-1 IMG_2233 IMG_2234 IMG_2235 IMG_2236 IMG_2237 IMG_2238 IMG_2239 IMG_2240

 

 

185th Voicemail,186th Voicemail, 187th Voicemail, 188th Voicemail – June 30th, 2015

Kendra was the first one to figure out we were having an affair. We were doing everything we could to stop the rumors. Even cleaning up my twitter account to erase off any tweets that may elude to more than friendship. Nothing was working. The rumors kept growing and Kendra kept digging up more and more info about our relationship. She kept asking Meri and Lindsay what was going on, but neither one of them would tell her anything. Lindsay only said to her “I don’t know” over and over again. This conversation was about rumors in Kendra’s group about our affair and how frustrating it was to keep hearing about it daily. I was not calling Kendra a liar. I was calling someone else that was asking questions after Kendra figured this out the liar. Because she is. But I refuse to give her any attention on here.

We had been walking together for a couple of months. First in the mornings and then later we added in at night too. It was to rehab my foot. I had broken my foot in 3 places months ago and I had to relearn how to walk properly. My foot kept going off center. My rehab lady told me to walk a lot a certain way to rehab it. If I wasn’t able to walk with Meri we would talk on the phone while she walked. This morning I was still mad from the night before so I took off at the same time but on my own. She saw me and decided to call. I ignored it. Then I picked up the next call and we had a disagreement about something she said to me. I didn’t like what she said but I had gotten in the shower and was getting dressed in eating. So while I was busy she kept calling me and I didn’t even know it.  Meri thought I was more upset than I was, but I had let it go already. She was a little worried that I was still upset. So we were discussing that. We made up later that night. She came over and we talked it out. She was ready to move out and leave him. She was tired of all of it.

185th Voicemail June 30th, 2015

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hrH3Yt-j_8&feature=youtu.be
Baby. You are scaring me. Talk to me. I love you.

186th Voicemail 6-30-2015 7:14am
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpWFp3SB7LM&feature=youtu.be

Saw you and thought it looked like you were probably walking. So I thought I’d just give you a call. Okay, call me back if you want to.

187th Voicemail 6-30-2015 7:52am
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aD6CzjAfPOI&feature=youtu.be

Samuel I’m sorry that you felt like that was a comparison. All I was saying was I had that (With Kody). I know what that feels like. That’s not what I’m looking for with you. Do you understand. That what I want with you is something deeper and stronger. And more passionate. It’s what we have. We have something more passionate then I have ever felt and you know that.

188th Voicemail 6-30-2015 7:58am
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIs1Df2YdYA&feature=youtu.be

And I wasn’t comparing you (To Kody) and anyway. You know what? Guess what. If I were compare you, you win on all counts. You win on all fucking levels. Now I’m pissed. You don’t think. You don’t think that I think that you beat out? You don’t think that I think that you are taller, better looking. Very much better looking by the way. Kinder. Sweeter. You care about me. You want me. You say that you are willing to fight for me. You say all these things about love and affection and passion. So yeah if I were to compare you. You win. All the time. But that was not a comparison. It was I know the pain of that. That’s all that was. And that’s not what I want with you. I think you need to just. I am fighting my darndest for you right now. Because I feel you slipping away. And I’m fighting when everything in me tells me, all my history (With Kody), excuse me, all my history tells me to just back off and let go. And I’m not doing that with you. I told you I wouldn’t and I’m keeping that promise that I’m right here. But I know that it makes you mad when I. It’s you. And all I want is you Sam. All I want is you. And I just keep fighting for you and I just keep pushing you away.

 

 

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180th Voicemail, 181st Voicemail, 182nd Voicemail, 183rd Voicemail, 184th Voicemail – June 29th, 2015

This is when I found out she was going on that Alaska Trip. And I was pissed off. I was not at all happy about that. But I let it go. I’m pretty good about letting stuff go. I just need to say what I feel then I’m over it. We were fine in a few hours.

180th Voicemail 6-29-2015 2:02pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6K96_GWwyM0&feature=youtu.be

Hey I’m just sitting out here with Mosby and the last little potty break until I end up having to film. So, I’ve got a little time right now so I thought I would give you a call and say Hey, how is your day. I hope everything is going well. Okay, I love you I will talk to you later.

181st Voicemail 6-29-2015 6:03pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OMA_ZDFTl4&feature=youtu.be

Exasperated sigh back. Okay bye.

182nd Voicemail 6-29-2015 8:30pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdRif6ONr5c&feature=youtu.be

You had asked me to push you. That’s what I’m doing. So quit sending me to voicemail, please. I am pushing you and I am trying to tell you, you need to stop.

183rd Voicemail 6-29-2015 8:31pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GMR4pRsV9E&feature=youtu.be

Okay, I’m telling you again I’m pushing you. I need you to stop it please. You don’t need to hang up on you that wasn’t very nice. This is my 5th call, 4th message. I think. Or 3rd. Now I’m confused. Anyway, I’m pushing you. So please call me. Please answer my phone…

184th Voicemail 6-29-2015 8:32pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEI70Za19EA&feature=youtu.be

Still sending me to voicemail. Okay I don’t know how many times I’m supposed to do this. But I know it will piss you off if I keep doing it. I’m in a catch 22. You say please push me, please push me, please tell me that I’m being a jerk and you need to stop. Okay. I think you are being a jerk and you need to stop. Okay? But I’m not going to push you enough that it’s going to piss you off anymore. Because I know you are already pissed off. Anyway, so there I’ve done my 8 texts, I’ve done my messages.  I don’t know what else to do for you because you are not answering. So…

 

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