Last Call

it's_not_goodbye...-1920061  Neither one of us said Goodbye. Neither one of us wanted it to end. But we agreed to end it and we both walked away. The only difference is I left her completely alone. We broke up August 23rd, 2015. I am working on a long explanation post to sum all of this up. It will better explain a lot of things and probably answer some questions that I continue to get. With proof 😉

 

215th Voicemail July 28th, 2015 1:02am
https://vimeo.com/166581137
Sam it’s really not fair for you to be so upset with me when I’m honest with you. You asked me to do that. I am open and honest with you. I am emotional because I love you, okay? I’m telling you that I am doing this stupid dinner. I don’t get it. You told me be open, honest, be angry, whatever and I will support you in love.
216th Voicemail July 28th, 2015 1:08am
https://vimeo.com/166581269
Sorry for hanging up on you. I love you. Bye.
217th Voicemail July 28th, 2015 2:11am and 2:13am
https://vimeo.com/166581414
Hi. I saw that you said that you did say you called back and you left a voicemail but there’s no voicemail so I don’t know what you are saying. Sorry I hung up. I just needed your strength in that moment and I didn’t have it and I’m just upset. It frustrates me sometimes. Gosh. You just said that I was going to have that from you when I was having a hard time and you didn’t give it to me and I just needed it. Anyway, okay.
and then
So your message finally came through and I finally listened to it. I need you to know………. (Kody walked in on her)
218th Voicemail July 28th, 2015 12:06pm
https://vimeo.com/166581612
You know what Sam you’re pissing me off. You want to hear my honest feelings? You’re making me really mad. Quit baffling back and forth. This is stupid. Get on the phone. Have a conversation with me. Quit running away. Just knock it off, quit running away. Take that stupid tweet off. That’s ridiculous. When you know it’s over, you know. Really? Take that off the phone right now or off the tweet right now. Get it off. Call me back.
219th Voicemail July 28th, 2015 6:04pm
https://vimeo.com/166581721
You know I did talk to you earlier today about wanting to get together this afternoon and do something and hang out.
220th Voicemail August 13th, 2015 8:21pm
https://vimeo.com/166582533
Please hear the sincerity in my voice and in my heart honey. I am here for you. You are what I want at the end of this. I am what you want at the end of this. Please let that happen honey. It’s not about money or cars or houses or trips or businesses or anything. It’s just you and me, please. Please let me talk to you. Baby I love you. I know you’re still mad and I understand it. I understand your frustration.

221st Voicemail August 13th, 2015 8:53pm
https://vimeo.com/166582623
Samuel, why are you telling me to stop. What do you want me to stop doing? Trying to get through to you? I don’t know what’s going on here. I don’t know why you are ignoring me.
222nd Voicemail August 14th, 2015 10:04pm
https://vimeo.com/166582703
So it’s been like 45 minutes since you sent me that text that said “WTF, why would you send that to me if he (Kody) said that to you?” You know those texts. And I explained to you, you know  in a bunch of texts  after that and I called you and stuff. So now I don’t know if you are just mad and ignoring me or if you’re busy or you’ve fallen asleep. Or if you’re just ignoring me. I have no idea. I don’t know if I’m supposed to be calling.
223rd Voicemail August 14th, 2015 10:09pm
https://vimeo.com/166582766
I don’t know. I guess I’ll stop calling you and texting you tonight because I don’t. Maybe I’m pissing you off. I don’t know. I just don’t even know. I hope you’ll call me back. I really do. I really want you to. You know. I sent you all those pictures and stuff of my day and stuff and I’m not even getting a response on those.
224th Voicemail August 15th, 2015 12:53pm
https://vimeo.com/166597496
Hey baby I just wanted to tell you I love you.
225th Voicemail August 15th, 2015 5:02pm
https://vimeo.com/166659659
I hope to see you very soon. I’m just hanging out here and I’m just thinking about you and I’m just feeling really peaceful. Just thought I would try touching base with you.
226th Voicemail August 16th, 2015 2:07pm
https://vimeo.com/166659720
I’m just watching for you. I’m waiting for you. You said you would be here and you’re not going anywhere so I’m watching for you.
227th Voicemail August 17th, 2015 12:29pm
https://vimeo.com/166659807
Hey baby I’m home. Wanted to let you know and call me and yeah. Just call me, okay? I love you.
228th Voicemail August 18th, 2015 3:51pm
https://vimeo.com/166659831
Hey, so over 2 hours with no communication was just way too much for me so I’m just trying to touch base with you. I miss you. Anyway, call me when you can, okay. I love you babe, bye.
229th Voicemail August 19th, 2015 11:37am
https://vimeo.com/166659862
Hey baby, just trying to touch base with you. Haven’t heard from you. Anyway, give me a call. Bye.
230th Voicemail August 20th, 2015 1:24pm
https://vimeo.com/166663671
Where are you baby? I love you give me a call. Love you, bye.
231st Voicemail August 21st, 2015 9:16am
https://vimeo.com/166663703
Hanging up on me is not nice, it’s not kind, it’s not sweet, it’s not cool. I don’t know why you do that. All I’m saying is that I care about the fact that you have another appointment and you didn’t have to cancel it just because I wanted to be on the phone. I want to be on the phone with you when you are available. I am trying to be considerate of your time I don’t need to be hung up on. That was rude. I have been trying to be nice and sweet all day long. Trying to be caring. Okay.
232nd Voicemail August 28th, 2015 8:16pm
https://vimeo.com/166664100
I literally don’t know what to do. Because you ask me to push you and you ask me to tell you, how much, what I want and what I need and how much I love you. And yet when I try to do that you just don’t answer and you won’t let me talk to you. And. You get frustrated when I’m trying to push you. I’m really trying to find the balance here. I really am. I’m trying to do what you want and what you need. This has to do with history (With Kody) has nothing to do with anything. Like, if you don’t want me to bug you then I’ll back off and not bug you. But I don’t want to back off and not bug you. I want to shake you and say listen to me damn it. I want to shake you and say let’s fix this damn it. Don’t walk away. You can’t fix it when you walk away. Gosh. I love you. Don’t you get it? I want you. Why else would I fight for you? Why else would I fight…
The End August 30th, 2015 10:26am
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hrtk7XCmgf0
Sam I need you to know that I love you. Okay? I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. You told me once that you were not going anywhere, well you told me lots of times, that you weren’t going anywhere either. I know the last couple of days have been a struggle and I’m really, really sorry that it’s been hard for you. I just need you to know that I’m just working on what I’m working on and I hope that you come back to me. You know you’ve said that you would never leave, you said that you would always be here. You’ve said that you would wait for me. Lindsay said the same thing that you were never going anywhere. She’s said to me  too many times how much you love me. And I’m just going to have to trust, and hope, and pray that that’s really, really true. And that you really do and that you are coming back. So I just want you to know that I love you and I’m just going to focus on my stuff and pray that you’ll come back to me. I see that you’ve blocked me off of your twitter and I don’t know if you’ve blocked me off of your phone so I don’t know if you’ll even get this message or not. I just don’t know how that works, but, anyway. I just love you and I’m not going anywhere. And I’m not saying goodbye. I promise. I made you a promise. And I’m keeping my promise. I’m not saying goodbye. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just going to stay working for you, working towards you, and hope that you’re there. I’m really sorry that you’ve had a rough couple of days. I’m really sorry that in your words that I’ve fucked up your life or that you’re in, you’re in, your life is all fucked up because you are with me is more how you put it now that I’ve messed it up. Anyway. I love you…

What a week, huh

lakehouse

Good morning from my beautiful lakehouse in Lake Forest, Illinois. My phone says Cloudy today. It’s currently 45 degrees. The high will be 52. It is May 14th, right? The weather so far has been weirder than the Soprano’s finale. I just don’t know and I can’t even. Did I use that right? Probably not. I’m now a dad meaning any and all trendy catchphrases must be used to both embarrass and prove I am still “hip” and “cool” Lol I fully intend on mortifying my boys with Dad jeans, blaring my Bon Jovi cd’s and asking their friends if they want to see my rad tattoos!

The voicemails, well at least the ones that I will release publicly, are almost done. After that I will never publish another voicemail ever again in my entire life. Screenshot that one, folks. There won’t be a reason to. After the voicemails, we (Meaning Lindsay) will finish this off by posting the phone call log to prove I did not call her at all after we broke up, as  well as the last set of text messages. And then I will write the world’s longest blog post to explain all of this once and for all. I will leave that up for an undetermined time and then I will be erasing this all off. I don’t need it, I don’t want it, it will have served it’s purpose soon enough.

And I’m kind of over myself when it comes to this story. I am proud of how I have handled myself. It’s not been easy or fun. I have learned

A LOT!

And I’m happy now. I wasn’t happy for a while after we broke up. Months. But now, today, I am happy and at peace with my decisions. I told my story, my way. I didn’t cash out and sell any of it. The problem is this. This story won’t bleep word go away. So I embraced it. I had no other choice. Ignoring all of this would not have helped me at all. I would have only created more problems for myself and honestly, for her. This way, she gets her ratings she is after, she gets public sympathy, she gets to see everyone call me an Asshole online, everyday, and I get to spend the rest of my life wondering what it would have been like had we made it out of this together like we planned. She is fine. She wanted his attention, she got it. I’m not saying she used me. I know she loved me. After over 300 voicemails in total, does anyone doubt that Meri did in fact love me? Either way, she is fine. She is happy where she is at and things are getting better in her life, I assume. I don’t know and I can’t even.

So now, the big tv reporters are aching to talk to me. NBC contacted me, Fox contacted me, and yesterday CBS got involved. Some are just local affiliates wanting to come to my office and interview me. It is tempting and my lawyers are all contemplating what to do. If I am going to talk, if I am going to put my butt in the chair in front of a camera for the 3rd time, (One previous Las Vegas NBC interview with Lindsay, One interview with the 5 screenwriters) now would be the time. Otherwise the moment will be gone and I may regret it. Then again, I have these 2 innocent little babies who were born into my scandal. My twins haven’t even been legally adopted yet so my court case may or may not be impacted by any and all things I say on tv or even on here. That is a heavy price to pay. It’s also something my lawyers brought up.

And do I really want to expose my entire life to the world? Do any of you really care who I am? I will be looked at and go Oh, there he is, he is real. And then that’s about it. No big shocking reveal, no big ambush on Meri in front of the cameras. It will be a huge let down because I am actually male and I am actually Samuel Lol Even having to type that is ridiculous.

There was a very sleazy tv group of people who mentioned all 5 Brown adults will be in Chicago at Soldier Field sometime in July to promote their shows with other TLC shows and it would be the best idea to ambush all of them so they could film it. You people are blocked from my email and cellphone. You disgust me and what the hell is wrong with you? Why would that be a good idea? So I can further embarrass her and cause a huge mess? No thank you. By then this story will be over and old news. No one will care. There is zero chance she will meet up with me then. There is zero chance she will talk to me then. There is zero chance of anymore Samuel and Meri. Zero.

As this story is wrapping up I’m trying to make a list of all the key points I want to make. And there are many. The most important point I would like to share right now. I completely fell in love with her. Just her, for who she is. I never cared about the show. We barely talked about it because for one, it involves her husband so why would I want to hear about that? And two, I don’t care about that show. I wasn’t really a fan. I didn’t watch more than 10 episodes total if that is even accurate. I don’t watch it now, I won’t watch it unless Lindsay, Kendra or my lawyers call and say you better watch this one. Then of course I will. But so far everyone is saying it’s not worth it. And believe me I am hearing about it anyway Lol

So I downloaded the Crowdfire app on my phone. It was supposed to help me boost up my tweet about my book. That’s all I wanted it to do. 1 tweet. What happened is my entire Twitter account has been taken over daily by all of these weird accounts. I let it go thinking this Crowdfire is great! Look at how many people are interested in my book. But no. Those are spammed up accounts adding to my account to boost those numbers. I can’t even get to the accounts I actually like. I have 10 accounts I liked to read everyday. I can’t find them now. The app is awesome, it makes it easy to add and delete people, but you do have to put work into it. Otherwise it will spam your account with things you don’t want. I have muted over 4200 accounts. I have blocked probably another 100 of the sexually graphic accounts that added themselves to mine. That’s what I get for trying to promote my book.

I am at the lakehouse now. I was in Milwaukee, Wisconsin for 2 days this week at a seminar. It was fun and boring. I had to sit on a panel on Thursday for an hour talking about commercial investing and answering questions. I probably talked 30 minutes out of that hour and the other 4 guys split the rest. People kept asking me about my casino investments. Guys, I literally fell ass backwards into that. I have invested in 5 casinos now and we are barely showing any profits because they are all so new. The casino business is going to crap right now because of Macau. Some guy Lindsay was talking to said to me Nice watch, what is that. I told him, showed him, and he said if you have a watch like that you don’t happen to have an extra $5 million dollars lying around do you? No I don’t, well technically I do, so we started talking. He was an investment broker for SLS. That was the very first one we bought into. The next was MGM, then Circus Circus Reno, now revamped, then Wynn, and now Encore. Please keep in mind we have very, very, very small percentages in those. Very small. You can read why we got into it last year in September, 2015: http://www.nasdaq.com/article/las-vegas-gaming-gains-unable-to-offset-macau-losses-cm517027 so they wanted to know how much, what have I earned, what the difference is between business investment and casino investment. I was over myself then too Lol After a half hour I had a headache and decided to shut up. Then I spent the next day deciding at what point I was going to get up and leave to ditch the rest of the seminar. Most of the people who attended are investment folks I have known for years and I heard a few of them say “There goes Coop again” as I was making my ninja like exit Lol I am famous for ditching these things the second day. I get what I need out of it or make my appearance, then I want to go see the city I’m in. Shelly even asked me if I really needed a hotel room or not because she figured I would leave the first night Lol I stayed this time! Sort of. I left around 10 or 11 I think it was.

I’m home. With my boys. I just fed them and they are sleeping. When they get up it will be time to change them and then I will throw down a few blankets and pillows and lay on the floor to play. They are awesome and don’t do much just yet. I am told as we hit the 4 month mark that’s when things get fun. And of course that will be when we are 1 nanny down so good luck to all of us on the team. I can’t believe they are almost 3 months old already. It flies by!

I love my boys. They really are perfect. They make me so happy.

I hope ya’ll have a great weekend. I don’t know if I will write again later or tomorrow. Not sure. We are going to get groceries later on then I’m cooking a huge Mexican feast for the girls and Cam. He wanted me to make him my grandmother’s enchiladas before he has to go to work at his bar tonight. Cooking meat is about the last thing I ever want to do. It smells so bad to me. I can’t stand it. But it is a great recipe and I haven’t made it in about a month. I love to cook. It lets me be creative and also show people you really can eat healthy food. If they just put down the meat!

God loves you and I love ya’ll too!