It has been another interesting week in my life. Meetings with lawyers are tedious. They ask a million questions then have you explain what you mean. Over and over and over. Lindsay and I had to sit through 3 meetings to get all of this mess straightened out. I’m happy with the progress of some things. These things take time but once we are at the end of it I may feel differently.
So Lindsay has been here a few days. She came to check on me because I have been so exhausted and probably a little depressed. All of this emotional stuff is a drain. I also needed her here for some work things. Our new nanny schedule isn’t working. Not for anyone but the babies. Anyone that has spoken to me on the phone this week can hear it. I have no energy. We had a family meeting last night. Lindsay threw out an idea for a new schedule where we can adjust to being one nanny down for the next 2 months. Sarah is willing to give it a try so that’s good. We also aired out a lot of deeper issues and Lindsay basically told them all to grow up. She said she’s had enough of them all bitching and tearing each other apart when this isn’t summer camp it’s a job. She said everyone can be fired and replaced. That got everyone’s attention. I just sat there waiting for the tears and sure enough all 3 started crying and apologizing. They realize now how bad they have all been behaving. They realize now that this is a job they chose. No one is stuck. Lindsay said if you want to go, take your check and leave now. Otherwise enough of your bullshit and complaining behind people’s back. Be an adult, face the issues, talk it out and then learn. I felt better than I felt guilty because she could have said things a little more tactfully Lol Not her strongest attribute but she does possess it when needed. She dismissed them. They did not like that at all and I could finally hear all 3 of them agree that they don’t like her anymore Lol Which she shot back I could care less what you bitches think of me. Always gets in the last word. Always.
This morning things are great. Everyone has calmed down, breakfast is being made and it looks like we are going to make it through. Lindsay said they all came to her room late last night to talk. They said it’s stressful and hard because of lack of sleep. She said everyone has been catering to themselves and not catering to me. She said he works 10 hour days 5 days a week and still gets up with the babies at night. I do get up. Even if Sarah or someone else has that shift. I want to do all I possibly can for my boys. I pay them to help me not raise my boys. They are here when I can’t do it or I’m not here. That’s all. No one seems to understand I want to get up. They tell me go back to bed and get some sleep. I can’t sleep when my boys need to eat or they wake up with a dirty diaper. I hear them and have that urge to go help them. I am getting better at not hovering them but I do still get up sometimes just to check on them. I put my hand on their chests to make sure they are okay. Or I stand there and look in the cribs. I heard that’s a new parent thing. We had all volunteered the other night at a Children’s hospital to help Heather out with her school community service project. Seeing those kids and families broke my heart. We all donated whatever cash we had on hand and spent an hour playing with the kids or reading to them. Anything we could do to bring a little fun into it. It was inspiring to hear the parents stories. It was really heart-warming to see the kids smile even when they are so sick. It made me go home and hold both of my kids and be thankful. I pray to God everyday my kids stay healthy. I know that’s not practical but I think so far I have gotten really lucky not having one or both in bad health.
All of my genetic testing came back. I am the carrier for a few really bad things. Thanks a lot to my parents Lol Bad marriage, bad childhood, and now bad DNA. That makes me thankful that I have adopted so I don’t pass on anything like this stuff. My genetics are very interesting. You can call this number and have things explained so I did to see what it all meant. Very interesting to see what I’m made of. Very expensive too but I wanted to know just in case I do meet someone to marry and we discuss having kids. I can pull out this report and says 50/50 this is what I may pass on. It is something to consider.
I’m still waiting to hear back from my adoption attorney. No court date is set yet. She did say something the last time we talked about the earliest possible would be mid-June. I don’t know, I guess that kind of got my hopes up a little. I know it may be later this year but I really do want this done. The boys already have my last name. That was something we worked out before they were born. I am not listed as their father on their birth certificates. That is something we will get done after the adoption is legal.
Lindsay made another epic Costco run. She came back with 2 vehicles full of stuff. She took Sarah and told her she was going to show her how she turbo shops. We are stocked up again. We have almost all of the things we might need for the next 3 months. She bought doubles on a lot of things so we can take them up to the lakehouse next weekend. We had to stay in town this time. Again. Too much work stuff and I am taking her and Josh to the Cubs game today! It’s an early game so we can get back to get the babies down for the night. Go Cubs! It’s really starting to look like our year. First place in the National League central we are 32-14 with a 4.5 game lead! So exciting. Finally a great start to a season. I have all kinds of Cubs gear I’ve been ordering online for me and my boys. The boys will be watching the game with the girls at home. Our seats are right behind the home dugout so maybe we will all get a little camera time. We are 4 rows up and towards the 3rd base. I can’t wait. I’ve been looking forward to the game all week. Josh is a huge lifelong Cubs fan and Lindsay just goes for the beers and to shout sexist things at the players Lol It’s going to be fun. We are going to leave around noon to get down there and park. Then walk around for a little bit and check out all the vendors. Lindsay wants to get Ben a jersey and a hat. I am looking for a few water bottles and maybe more tshirts for everyone. Josh just wants a hot dog. He said he has everything he wants he just loves their hot dogs. I have to eat before we go because there’s not many vegan baseball snacks there. Cloudy but nice for the game. Doesn’t look like any rain like yesterday.
My boys are 3 months old now. They are starting to develop their own personalities. It’s really cool each smile milestone they make. They are becoming more vocal. I have no idea what they are saying but to me it sounds like My dad is awesome and I have the world’s best daddy Lol I talk to them all of the time. I read the Bible to them or baby books. We play on the floor and sometimes just hang out looking out the windows. I am still shy about taking them out in public. We have only done it a few times. I don’t really like the attention we get. It makes me nervous. I think once they are a little older I won’t mind taking them out with us. I definitely want to hit the Navy Pier with them. So many interesting shapes and sounds there for them to look at. But only when it’s a nice day out, not too hot. The dr said they will be able to travel with me at around 4 months. Only because I have a private plane. I have sold both of my planes here and bought a new one. I upgraded but still bought something used. It’s awesome. I love it. I have taken it out 4 times already. It’s been a lot of fun learning what everything does on it. I went from a 6 seat capacity up to a 12. I think with the babies I needed to think about years from now and how it would be better to have more room for them. It has just been refurbished inside so I still have all the things I had on my last Cessna. My lear jet is still overseas. It’s newer and can stay there for my business people or my family to use. I think I’m done buying big ticket items for a while. I already have my boats and jet skis. They are docked and ready to roll up at the lakehouse. I haven’t taken them out except the day they both were put in the water. I had to drive them over to my place.
It’s going to be a great summer! I am allocating a lot more so I can start leaving Friday at noon. I want to get up to the lakehouse and do all the things that need to be done so we can relax both Saturdays and Sundays. I need to go eat some breakfast now and figure out what to wear to the game.
Go Cubs! Hope ya’ll have a great weekend. God bless all of our family and friends that have passed away. I miss you all and have taken your love and spirit with me throughout my life. I will see you all again soon in Heaven.
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Cheryl the Stalker
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