lastone  I was working on the last post I wanted to put up about the voicemails and texts. What more could I do to tell my truth and my story. I had a timeline, I had all of the last texts and some photos. But looking back over all of this, what does it matter? And who really does care? You are here because you are curious. You want to know what I have to say. Some of you are here as fans not believing a word I say and only on here to use it as ammo on your social media accounts to further harass, stalk, bully, and attempt to ruin my name on the internet. That has never worked and you live a pretty sad life if that’s what you spend your day doing.

I deleted what I had written because I realize it doesn’t matter. In my opinion, I have posted proof that we met, had an affair, had a consensual sexual relationship, we went on a vacation together, we fell madly in love and we carried on as if she wasn’t still married, because technically she wasn’t. We had an affair. We both admit to that. We also had plans for a future together. We wanted to get married and we wanted children together. Then we broke up. I did not talk to her after the break up. I did not continue to even try to contact her. I gave up, I walked away and I left her the hell alone. Because I knew she made her choice. She was going to stay and no matter her real, honest reasons for that, I lost her when I walked away. She tried. She tried really hard to hold on to me. I wasn’t listening and I wouldn’t talk to her. And finally she also gave up.

I changed my phone number. The next day Meri texted Lindsay. And within 2 more days we had broken up.

TextsfromLindz

 

We tried communicating for weeks before we broke up. It wasn’t working out. We were fighting over small things. Then we would stop and be back in love and happy. It was tough. It was really emotional.

After we broke up I lost it. I truly lost my heart. She meant the world to me and I didn’t know what to do without her. I left her alone. I really did. I moved back to Chicago, I began working 18 hour days just to keep busy. I didn’t go out. I didn’t talk to many people. I was depressed. I loved Meri with all of my heart. I truly believed she was going to leave him for me. Not the family, she was never, ever going to leave the family. She wanted out of her marriage because she was so unhappy with him and how he treated her.

I loved her.

Now that it’s been over for months, if I was just a stepping stone to her, to get his attention back or maybe to get herself together and stronger within the family, okay. I can accept that. I’m happy for all our great memories. Meri and I would laugh all day long. Or we would be sweet to each other, everyday. Any disagreement we had, we always worked it out. There was never any type of personal attacks. There were never any threats, my god Meri. Never. When it was over, I walked away. I stayed away. And I have continued to stay out of her life. She is fine. She doesn’t miss me, she doesn’t think about me. She just doesn’t care about me anymore. I accept that.

I can say, I do miss her. I do still think about her from time to time. I do care about her and I pray for her and her family everyday. I hope he makes her happy. I hope she stays open to the life she has to live now. I showed her what true love is. She said that several times. She has never loved him like she loved me. That’s because I was her biggest fan and her greatest unconditional support. She felt safe and free for the first time in her life. The affair with me is probably the only time she has truly done anything without thinking or worrying about what anyone else in her life thought. I was hers. Only hers for the entire affair. And she hadn’t that feeling in 2 decades.

I wish her all of my best. I am open to talking to her again someday. I really do believe in this lifetime she will tell the truth and admit that I am real, I am a man, and I did not catfish her. I know she is a good person, she has a big heart. I know she will do right by me. I know it. It may take her years. Years is all I’ve got left to give her. So I will wait for it to come and I will immediately forget it and accept the apology. I have forgiven her already because I really do understand the one thing no one else sees.

Meri is so scared to tell him and her family that she fell completely head over heels in love with me. That we had sex, that she really was going to leave Kody. She is so scared she is controlling her words instead of just opening up with the truth and saying Yes, I fell in love with Samuel. She is so scared to lose everything for me. I know this because when I fell in love with Meri all those months ago, that’s the exact place I was at with myself. If I fall for this spiritually married woman, am I really ready to lose it all if we get caught someday? Can I face God, my Church, my family, friends, and all the people in the world that will know who I am? I was there where she’s at. I know how hard it can be. So I forgive her for telling the entire world that I catfished her.

I did not catfish Meri Brown.

 

I didn’t and I wouldn’t do that to her. I loved her with all of my heart. All I wanted was to be with her forever. I wanted to marry her and have a baby with her. I wanted lots of babies with her. We also talked about adopting.

So here I am at the end of this story. I will continue to write and to answer questions. This is my story. Please remember, no one but Lindsay knew that we were having an affair. Not Lindsay’s friend who she was traveling with. None of the Browns. Not any of my friends or Meri’s friends. No one. We kept it a secret. There were rumors and there were speculation. But remember folks, none of you were there. So you don’t know. None of you know anything at all about this except what she has said and what I have said and posted. Lindsay is the only person on this Earth that knew the whole story and she is so loyal to me you couldn’t have gotten her to say it. Kendra tried. Kendra tried all kinds of tactics to pressure Lindsay to even admit we were more than friends. The only thing Lindsay kept saying is I don’t know. I don’t know, over and over. After it was over, it took 6 weeks for me to come out and start posting things. The only reason I did is because Meri had her friends create fake troll accounts, not using their real names, photos or info to conceal their true identity and start spreading the rumors that I catfished her and that I was not a man.

Meri, my god. It shocked me. That was when I started to defend myself. I’ve done my best to counteract any type of public lie she tells about me. I tried really hard to continue to tell and prove every word I have ever said about this. I could have handled this a whole different way. We all could have. But here we are. At the end of this. And the only question left is, what do I do now?

I am single. I am happy. I live in Chicago and I am still working on building my empire. Work keeps me busy, I travel a lot and I get to do the things I love to do with my life. I am working to adopt my boys. My twin boys are almost 3 months old now and growing so fast. I look at them and wish Meri were here helping me raise them. Then I realize she won’t be and to stop thinking that stuff. I know she is a great mom. I know her kids love her. I know she loves all of her kids with all of her heart.

Will Meri and I ever talk again? No. Not in this lifetime. But if she does want to reach out to me I am open for it. If any of her family wants to talk to me and ask questions, I am open for it. I will always be here for Meri. I gave her the one thing no one else could. I gave her, her voice back. She felt lost for 5 years. No one really knew her anymore because they weren’t spending the quality time with her she craved. Now I pray they do and will. She needs a lot of attention. She needs a lot of love. She needs respect, communication, and to be listened to. Even if she is ranting off or just needing to talk things out. She needs all of them.

Was she worth all of this? All the hurt and pain and embarrassment that this affair has caused me and will continue to cause me in all of my life? Was Meri Brown worth all of this?

Yes she was. And I loved her with everything I had. In some ways, I probably still do.

Thank you for finding me. May God bless us and may I finally feel a huge weight off of my heart. I am a human being if some of you have forgotten. Doesn’t matter if you think I am truthful or not. I am here. I do matter and I do have feelings. I’m asking you to leave me alone if you are full of hate. Just let me live my life. I do nothing to harm any of you or even to say something ugly. I answer questions, I tell the truth, I show proof. You are not entitled to anymore than what I offer to you. I want this to move on with lessons learned and a journey to peace for both Meri and I. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I may not answer it if I find it uninteresting or if it’s rude.

I feel a lot better now that I’ve had my say. I know love will find me someday when I’m ready. For now all I want to do is love my kids and focus on their adoption and hang out with my dog. They are all I have in my life. Heston and Alex. My boys. I love them so much. And I pray to God when they are old enough they will understand this story. I pray they forgive me for my sins.

In the end, I was Almost Meri’ed 😉

15 thoughts on “I told the truth, I told my story”

  1. I hope you post this reply because it really needs to be said:

    I do not understand people who practice polygamy based on religious teachings as oppose to polygamy where everyone has freely consented to such a relationship. If the women cannot love and respect each other in this life, how do they think life will be in the afterlife. Eternity is an extremely long time.

    I am so glad that Kody and his wives have done their reality TV show. It is great to show the pitfalls of religious-based polygamy. The women are all naturally monogamous but are scared into practicing polygamy due to their religious Apostolic United Brethren teachings. It also shows how the man has a favorite alpha wife which can change the moment he gets a new female (usually younger and more fertile) to join his household. Kody’s love and attention went from Meri to Robyn in a heartbeat.

    All the other wives are beta wives. They are just there to reproduce and to bow down to the alpha wife according to the wishes of their husband (“honor the family” really met the wives had to accept Robyn and her kids because she and her kids are now Kody’s favorite). The betas (Janelle, Christine, and now Meri) grovel for bits and pieces of their husband’s time, love, and affection. Sad way to live, really. Chasing after a man who really could care less about his beta wives and their children.

    Which is why I think Meri is a fool for what she did. She had a chance to enjoy life as a single wife to a great monogamous man. Instead she has chosen to go back to her polygamous husband and beg for scrapes. Maybe she prefers to be on welfare and “bleeding the beast” over being the wife of a millionaire who would have treated her way better.

    It is clear she still does not love her husband and they are just playing for the camera. Last season she was glowing (due to speaking to Sam), this season that glow is gone and she looks awful and depressed. Remember Sam, you cannot save Meri if she does not want to be saved from the life she currently lives. Whether or not she hates Kody, polygamy is all she knows. If she wants to live that miserable happiness, no amount of love will take her away from it. I just hope she can survive it all because Kody can still add more wives to his household which would mean less time, sex, attention, etc. he will give to his beta wives.

    I hope if she does decides to leave once the show is done, she can land herself another monogamous man who is financially stable and emotionally stable enough to support her. She will need it due to all the damages that religious-based polygamous lifestyle has done to her.

  2. You should watch the special Sam as it will be hilarious when they do their ip tracking, get it completly wrong and end up knocking on Jackies door cameras and all lol.

    1. No thanks. They all think she lives in Shidler, OK and she doesn’t. She lives in Tulsa, OK. They have no way of contacting her so good luck if they try. She is so pissed at this point she is not talking to anyone anymore. I don’t blame her. All of the trolls have drug her name into the mud for months. It’s too much for anyone involved. I feel really bad for her.

  3. I had a feeling she was lying, thank you for doing this, now when I watch her talk it’s in a totally different light.
    She obviously felt so much guilt about the affair, the first thing she thought of was to say she was “catfished” and you were a woman. I never bought it fully!

    I’m sorry this is happening to you and you and the boys deserve so much better!

    I hope this is exposed more one day, because she shouldn’t be “allowed” to try to defame and ruine someones life to cover her lies !!

    She thought she could get away with it by lying and I for one am happy you are exposing her…..keep it up until she comes clean!!

  4. Hi Sam, Are you going to be watching the Catfish special featuring Meri at 9pm est 22 may? I think you will enjoy seeing her squirm when its proven you are real.

    1. Nope I don’t watch any of that crap. My lawyers do though Lol Just waiting for her to mention a name so we or Lindz or Jackie can sue for defamation and libel. We have all of the paperwork locked and loaded already.

  5. I hope you’re able to move on, Samuel. I have been reading for months, if you recall. I hope the trolls and hateful people will leave you be and move on.

  6. Are you a man or a woman, Samuel? Did you pose as a man when you spoke to her?

    Also, she seems very hurt. Sooo hurt. Why not be the good person you claim you are and just leave her alone, zero contact. Stop publicly talking about it. That’s what a good person would do. That’s all really.

  7. Hello,

    I was watching last night’s episode and does seem that she is not being truthful. I believe that she’s ashamed and embarrassed because she got caught. She does seem very needy and requiring a lot of attention. Perhaps it is due to her husband asking for a divorce so that he can marry Robyn (just guessing!!!). However, I don’t agree with your approach though and shouldn’t be capitalizing on this unfortunate event. You did say you are catholic and catholics don’t seek revenge rather forgive. Remember that it doesn’t effect you and her but also people that around her. Look at the bigger picture and do the right thing. Take the high road and move on.

    Take care and god bless

  8. May you have peace in your heart 💝 Your a good person and we your readers love you and appreciate your honesty.

  9. I came to your site out of curiosity. I followed the Stepwives out of curiosity because to me I don’t see how anybody can be happy sharing one man. It just doesn’t seem possible but to each his own I guess. I knew her story sounded really fishy. When it first came out it was all a out how she got catfished and how she was going to use this to help others who had also been. I found it very odd that nothing was said or focused on the fact that she had an affair. I know they edit out a ton but it was just so weird to me that the media clung to that more than the fact that she was unfaithful to her husband. Regardless of whether it was a girl or guy her choice was still the same: to continue that relationship.

    After seeing all this stuff I am still left to wonder why no picture has come out with the 2 of you as it seems that would put it all to rest. But the more I think about it, the more beautiful it is that that is not happening. These posts are so heartfelt. I feel your emotions right along with you. I don’t need to know the truth to feel your sincerit and nothing but love in these posts, quite opposite of what the other side is doing. And this is done even in the face of all the negative that is geared towards you. My favorite quote is that truth will prevail and tI’m will tell. I think her life is going to fall more apart. There is obviously so much that she is trying to cover up. But with you I wish all the best. I hope someday you find someone that you can share your life with and that the truth will prevail.

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