Letter from a fan

For months now I received 3 or 4 fan letters via email. Anytime the show kicks back in that number increases. People just want to share their thoughts with me. I do read them. Well actually the truth is Lindsay reads them first to make sure they aren’t mean. Then she forwards them to me. Lately I have been getting about 10 to 15 fan letters each week. People are starting to believe in me more and more. Not for anything I’ve said or done lately, simply by watching her actions and inactions. She is causing that, not me. I read this one this morning and want so share it. Thank you Melinda. When I am off work tonight I will write you back. I promise.


You are not a catfish. I believe that you did not catfish Meri Brown. I am probably writing this so it can fly into oblivion of your deleted messages but I have to at least try to say this. I keep watching the show this season and all I keep thinking every week is how much Meri is still in love with you. She acts like it without the words behind it. She gets this look in her eyes every single time she begins to talk about you or mentions you in a coded reference. Many of us saw the messages back and forth on Twitter last year for months that hasn’t even been mentioned once. That was not flirting. Look at her Twitter account now that she is back in the cult. Nothing positive. Nothing full of love and heartfelt messages of hope. Her entire tone online has changed into this dark, bitter world of unrest. She looks terrible. She looks tired all of the time and still stressed. I can’t imagine what she is going through. Worse than that I can’t imagine what she is feeling. She isn’t hiding her feelings for you very well. She continues to drag you into the next week like she just can’t let you go.
Are you so sure there is no hope for you two to reunite? I think she misses talking to you. I think she misses all of the attention and passion you gave to her. I don’t think she is navigating being back with him. He isn’t acting like he cares. Why is this huge emotional fair not put this couple into therapy together? Why is it a family therapy session followed up by Meri trying to drag her daughter into therapy? And even Janelle? The main relationship that was damaged here is between Kody and Meri yet no mention of them in therapy together and no evidence they are even trying to…I guess work anything out. Yes he gave her a pass on the entire affair. Yes he acknowledged they have struggled for years. But no one is mentioning the one glaring fact that is apparent to all of the fans of this show. That Meri was much happier when she was talking to you. She was seen out in public having a huge smile on her face all of the time. The two times I have seen her at Walmart she has this lost look on her face still. She is willing to take photos with people but she doesn’t say too much. She used to. She used to ask if they watch the show and what you think about it.
Is anyone buying all of this? The family is skating on thin ice. A lot of my friends that used to watch the show refuse. How are the ratings really going? We hear mixed messages. I know you said some advertisers have pulled out and it seems that way because there are no commercials from companies that have never been among the supported brands we have all known for years.

I’m sorry to Meri but I just don’t see this as a catfish. All of the evidence points directly to a love affair. You don’t talk the way you talked in the voicemails or send the kind of text messages if you are truly scared of someone. You don’t hide the fact that you were talking to a man for months from your family. Last night I watched your daughter out you. She was not supportive, she was not happy to see you. She was hurt. You hurt her Meri. She has every right to feel embarrassed and humiliated. I would be if my mom had been caught sucking on a banana the day of my 20th birthday. You can tell Mariah knows more than she is saying. My guess is TLC edited out a lot of what this child actually said. She did not look comfortable talking about it. Last night during the show Meri tweeted out when Mariah is ready to talk she will. This show was filmed months ago. So Mariah has still not talked this out with her mom? That shows right there how much truth is in all the things you have presented on your blog. Mariah knew about you Sam. She knew what was going on and no one is mentioning the Disney trip.

Kody is as oblivious as a rock. He simply does not care about Meri anymore. You can see that. No painting, no apology, and no amount of new-found family loyalty is ever going to repair what she broke. They won’t even let her take Solomon on a road trip. They don’t trust her. Did Meri assume during the Tell All everything they all said was actually true? Kody said there’s no fault on Meri’s part yet he is stll punishing her. They spend no time together. They don’t sit next to each other and in almost all of this season you don’t see Meri wearing her wedding band. Why is that? If she is recommitted to this family that thing would be glued on. She is still lonely. What makes it worse this time is that Sam is still out there waiting and Meri knows it. He is moving on with his life yet we haven’t seen any new relationship or even mention of dating. Meri could come back to him. She could choose love instead of obligation.

Will she ever leave to follow what her heart is screaming at her? She is so clearly still in love with you Sam and I’m not the only one that is noticing this. She has lied about you. I’m so sorry she is doing that. Forgive her. Go get her. She needs you. You have a lot of support from people who want her to get away from Kody. You should try to get her back before it’s too late. She said multiple times how sweet you were. How loving, how kind. She always talked about how much she loved you. The things you said to her in text I have waited my whole marriage for my husband to say even one of those things. It is obvious how much you two loved each other. She is still in love Sam. She really is. I know you said you aren’t watching the show anymore but I’m telling you what I see. She hasn’t forgotten you. She keeps bringing you up.
I know you probably won’t even read this or Lindsay will and delete it before it sees the light of day. I kept thinking to myself why am I writing this email. I felt I had to say what has been on my mind for weeks. Please read this. You don’t even have to respond just know that you do have supporters out here. We are silent but we are here.

About Samuel

Single dad of 4 beautiful kids, Heston & Alex my twin boys, and my daughters Peace and Sky. Dad of 2 angel babies in Heaven, Ryan and Talon. Divorced. Semi-retired app developer, business partner, Commercial Real estate investor, Chicago Bears & Chicago Cubs fan, vegan, lifelong Catholic, voting independent party member, guitar playing singer who owns a dog, and 2 cats. We live in beautiful Denver, Colorado. I started my first blog Janaury 1st, 2012. Official owner of NotBatmanYet.com and @NotBatmanYet Twitter account.
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  1. Mariah can’t be truthful about her Mom’s feelings for you because it will negate the whole “you are a terrorist and you were forcing Meri to leave all of the lovey-dovey voicemails” story that they are pedaling this season. Meri looks awful, she had thinned down last season and kept her hair colored etc..and now it looks like she has gained a bunch of weight. She looks so miserable. I was surprised that they let Mariah talk as much as she did in last nights episode. She has to stick to the story, so we will never learn her true feelings and editing will be tight. When are the new pictures being unveiled?

  2. I have a comment and a question. 🙂

    I agree with so much that was said here. I was actually thinking something similar to what Melinda said about her looking stressed and terrible. I don’t watch the show regularly, but I will flip to it occasionally to see if anything interesting is going on. Last year (when you were in the picture) is the best she has ever looked in terms of seeming happy, healthy, and vibrant. Yet last night on the show– which might be the worst I have ever seen her look in terms of seeming to be stressed and unhappy and struggling — she mentioned that last year was the most stressful time of her entire life. All you have to do is look at pictures or screenshots to know that isn’t true.

    I did have a question about what Mariah was saying, though. At one point, she made a comment along the lines of “From the very beginning, I told her that getting involved with this person was a bad idea.” The way she worded things, she seemed to not want to give away that her mom was lying, but also not want to participate in the ridiculous story that has been crafted.

    So my question is, did you ever meet Mariah? Was she really against her mom leaving such an unhappy, neglectful marriage?

    • I can only answer what you have told me here. I did not watch the show. We were both very happy when we were together. We now both struggle because we do miss each other. She won’t admit that openly but privately she misses me very much. That has been passed on to me several times. Even from one of her Sister Wives.
      I’m sure Mariah was edited out. She is a smart girl and from the first week of Meri and I talking on the phone Mariah knew about me. She knew me as Sam from Oklahoma because at the time I was working and living there. In fact the first night Mariah was home for a visit and to go to Disneyland we all 3 were talking together. That happened a few times. Meri even asked me about Mariah working for me in Utah. Mariah emailed me her resume and we were looking to see what she could do for us. She took a different job at a Museum I believe it was to have more flexible hours. Mariah knew who I was the entire relationship. The only thing she wasn’t sure about was the nature of our relationship. In July Meri did talk to Mariah about her and Kody splitting up. Mariah cried and said she didn’t want her parents to ever split up but if that’s what Meri wanted to be happy okay. After that Mariah began siding with Kody about everything. So Mariah was told there was a possibility that they would divorce spiritually (They call it unsealing) and Meri would be moving on with her life. That is why Mariah answered the question as she did. There is a lot more in regards to Mariah and I communicating with each other both directly and indirectly. But that is all for her to decide to talk about. I doubt she will. She doesn’t want to talk to her mom about me. She saw how happy her mom was. She saw a huge change in Meri. Everyone did. And she knew that her parents were at the worst place in their relationship. Remember, Mariah moved back home all of last summer. And she was questioning her mom a lot at first why her dad was not staying at the house anymore. When Meri’s mom came for a visit, Meri even confided in her mom about leaving Kody. The first thing her mom said was What about your commitments you made? What about your vows to God?
      Meri was never scared of me. She was scared of leaving and taking a chance on true love. I do miss her. I probably am still in love with her. But I gave up on us. She is doing all she can to protect that paycheck and to save her own ass. The truth is I know she is still in love with me. And unfortunately for her I’m not the only one that knows that now.

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