I don’t exactly know how to explain it. It really is one of those stories where you had to be there to really laugh hard. Typing it out I have found it losses a lot of the comedic effect it had from when I saw it all happen live. But I’m going to try to get this right.
Picture it, Delphi, July 2016. We had all just finished a very early breakfast at the hotel and we were all standing outside on the street looking at the map. I had finally realized we literally were zig zagging all over places and our path on this bus tour made zero sense. To me I thought the tour company had a very packed and big historical site tour planned out. And they really did for us. They were great. The only thing is when I really started looking at how far apart some of our cities were and how we literally would pass by some really cool things I started to wonder WTF.
It sort of looks like this, and if you are an 80’s kid like I am, you will appreciate this because maybe you haven’t seen it in years.
As we are talking about the sites we will see today these little goats came up from the alley. They were cute and the kids were wanting to play with them. They were very friendly goats. I didn’t know goats were nice. I have only seen Youtube videos of them causing problems and eating kids tshirts through a fence because they are petting zoo goats and demand to be fed by everyone. Not really a goat expert at all but my Uncle started laughing and saying he had goats as a kid and it was a fun reminder of how goats can be nice.
He started petting this goat on the back and kept talking about his childhood goat stories. We were all laughing until Drew nudged me and I looked at him then he shot me that Look kind of expression and I noticed my Uncle’s hand had reached the backside of this goat. He kept talking and petting it. It was sort of a pat pat pat pet pet pat pat pat pet pet kind of routine. Right on the goat’s asshole Lol The little guy’s tail was sticking straight up. Not sure if he liked it, that answer was made known in 30 seconds from now. My Uncle did not notice, I guess he has lost all feeling in his fingers or something to not realize that was not goat hair? Goat fur? Goat coat Lol or whatever goats have on them and know he was touching goat skin. After a few minutes my Uncle wrapped up story 3 of his childhood goat Gary. Yes, that would be Gary the Goat. And stopped petting this goat’s asshole. Well we all decided later the goat loved his asshole being petted on and he raised up, turned IN MID AIR and kicked my Uncle right in the leg. His upper thigh to be exact. My Uncle fell over on his side and sort of did a roll onto his ass. We hollered at the goat and someone clapped a few times to scare them all off, they left. We all looked down at my Uncle to see if he was okay. Drew said did he get your nades? I said are you okay? Drew’s son said you were touching his butthole LMAO I was laughing so hard. I was doubled over and couldn’t stop. This is the Uncle that has pulled a quarter out of my ear for years. The one that stole my nose, the one that thought it would be funny to put a whoopy cushion under me anytime I sat down. That guy, so yes seeing that guy get a roundhouse goat hoof to the leg to me was hysterical. We all laughed and helped him up. Then we looked at his leg. It wasn’t even bruised. In fact the only mark on him was his wrists were a little skin rashed up from catching himself on the pavement. He started walking to make sure he was okay. Again I’m laughing but I’m helping him and we all told him he had been petting the goat’s asshole for about 4 minutes. It was probably only maybe 2 minutes but it felt longer. I’m sure the goat could tell us how long if we ever find him again Lol That was awesome. So funny! And it was something we kept mentioning anytime we saw a goat! I really don’t know what else to say about it but you did have to be there to appreciate it.
So Delphi, ooohhh Delphi. You son of a …… Delphi was not a friendly place for us. We tried very hard to win them over but they were not having it. So finally Drew said we are not rude Americans but let’s stop trying to kiss these people’s ass. Just get in, do what we need to do, and get out of here. They were shoving us, pushing us out of their way. We huddled like a school of fish at one point. And moved like it too. Delphi is full of very interesting historical stories. We finally made it to the Temple of Apollo. The one thing we all agreed we really wanted to see. And it’s amazing. Huge columns. Huge everything. Apollo’s temple is up a bunch of steps and it’s only 5 minutes from a museum where you can really enjoy a lot of his story. It really was fun. I learned so much about Apollo than I ever knew. I guess Drew’s kids had been reading Greek travel books together for a few weeks so they were very eager to share all they knew. It was cute and really interesting. I loved seeing them both so excited when we finally got up there. So cool!
We also got to see the other ruins nearby and a few more museums. The best part of this day was not only the goat kicked but also seeing everyone interested in the history and wanting to know more and more.
Then we loaded up and headed onto the next town, Kalambaka. When we got to our hotel after a long, long bus ride with the crazy bus driver weaving in and out of traffic breaking the sound barrier in speed, I realized I had lost my sunglasses. I only had brought one pair and it was hot so I needed them. I was tired and really wanting to just come home at this point. I’m glad I didn’t because Kalambaka really was cool!
Have a great day! Lol Peace out!