I need a babysitter?

Tonight after work I will be at a book signing event. My publisher who I don’t get along with (At all) requires me by contract to do a certain amount of appearances. That contract is up in October of this year. Thankfully I do the minimum required by me because I told them from Day 1, No book signings. They force me via this contract. I didn’t think anyone would show up. I also didn’t want to hear the negative comments but so far things have been okay.

Sitting at a table for 2 hours signing books to people is not my idea of a fun-filled evening. I only have to do 6 more of these and then I’m done. I will do 3 this month, this one tonight then 2 more in New York City this weekend. Tonight’s book signing is in Downtown Chicago. At least that will be closer to home.

My publisher is sending out my Editor (Yes I really had one Lol) 2 people from sales and marketing and 1 assistant. So that’s me and 4 others who will stand behind me, answering any question that I defer to them and will be there to basically make sure I’m actually trying to sell both books. There’s no reason to do a book signing for my book Almost Defame’ed so it just sits on the table with the others and if people buy it, okay.

My publisher and I have fought over the pricing, the pages, the lousy editing, the sheer contempt I have for this whole process and the constant telling me how to sell my books. That’s their job. My job is to just show up at these events, smile and take pictures with the people who ask for that and oh, try to behave. I tend to get bored and start poking fun at myself and the book. That’s not a good sales pitch. That’s why I’m being watched tonight. They want to make the most amount of money they can. I don’t see how much more they can get. We have sold more books than they ordered. We have done 2 reprints at this point. I do nothing to advertise it Lol I also have tried to remove it from certain book websites that I don’t like. I basically have been an anti-author in my own book adventure. They are preparing me for New York because the book signings there will be a much bigger deal.

As we all know, I am not a writer. Technically all I am is a blogger. I share what I want about my life, my thoughts, and the things going on with my boys. That’s pretty much it. You all get the surface stuff that I share. You really aren’t getting any in-depth look into what my life is really like. I go to work, I come home and take over caring for my children. That’s what parents do. Yes I have nannies that help but if I am home, those boys are my full responsibility. Without their help I would have to quit working. I don’t want to quit working yet. I will at the end of this year because I have another plan for myself. Something with a lot more flexibility. Something that I can be there for my boys and really watch them grow up. I travel too much now, I miss some huge moments because I’m stuck at the office. I don’t want to be that kind of dad. They are young enough now they won’t ever remember me not being there for them. My wife is happier because when I am home I get the boys to bed and still do work emails. It drives her nuts. My time demands are only getting worse. I just want to hang out and enjoy life. Have fun. I think that’s the dream for everyone. I have enough financial stability to last us 10 lifetimes if not more. We are okay. I can afford to retire early. I can provide for my wife and children and still feed my dog. That’s all that matters.

These ridiculous book signings are not my idea. I have to do them. And after next week I’m halfway done with the last ones. If you come to the event, the publisher is giving away some really high dollar prizes. A smart tv, some Kindles, the new Apple Iphone and I think some other smaller prizes. It’s from 6pm until 8pm. If you are my Approved list you already got the email yesterday announcing where it’s at. See some of you there. I like knowing who is coming. I can’t wait to meet some of you. No my babies will not be there. My wife said she might stop in just to pick on me Lol Thanks for the support, sweetheart!

It should be a fun evening. Oh and buy my books! There. I advertised. Unlike my publisher, every penny I make on my book sales goes to two charities that support polygamous people or people wanting to leave polygamy. I don’t get any money at all from my book sales. I don’t want it. To me I didn’t earn it I just lived it. And what I went through isn’t worth anything.

I hope everyone has a great day. Go out there and support book signing authors. It’s not easy sitting in front of a crowd trying to spend a few seconds with people you don’t know Lol It’s actually very weird.

About Samuel

Single dad of 4 beautiful kids, Heston & Alex my twin boys, and my daughters Peace and Sky. Dad of 2 angel babies in Heaven, Ryan and Talon. Divorced. Semi-retired app developer, business partner, Commercial Real estate investor, Chicago Bears & Chicago Cubs fan, vegan, lifelong Catholic, voting independent party member, guitar playing singer who owns a dog, and 2 cats. We live in beautiful Denver, Colorado. I started my first blog Janaury 1st, 2012. Official owner of NotBatmanYet.com and @NotBatmanYet Twitter account.
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