Can we stay here?

At 4am the morning we were flying back home to the States, Sarah woke me up to tell me she had lost her passport. Isn’t that fun? She was freaking out. I usually wake up pretty easy but I was passed out and she had to shove on my arm a few times before I got up. I got dressed and walked out into the hallway. She had already been crying a little bit. I wasn’t awake and I told her maybe she could move in with one of the cousins. That joke was way too soon. She stomped off and I went shuffling after her. She said she put it on the dresser when she got home from the mall trip and left it out on purpose to make sure it went back into the purse. She was switching purses because I guess that’s a thing and wanted to put it in there. She had looked everywhere and couldn’t find it. So I went back to my room, grabbed my phone, accidentally woke up my wife, told her to go back to sleep knowing full well she wouldn’t and tried really hard to walk quietly past the babies room to go help her out. I was going to use my flashflight on my phone to look under stuff. Her rental (It’s still an apartment I don’t care what the guy kept telling me) was right next to ours on the top floor so when I left, I just had the door open a little. No one else was up I didn’t think it was a big deal. We went to her bedroom and she started clearing things off of everything. She dumped her purse out already and was looking through the mess that is a women’s contents. I don’t know why you ladies need to lug around all of that shit. Who needs 5 hair ties? That doesn’t make any sense to me. And nail clippers, really? You need to have nail clippers on hand in case of some nail emergency? Lol Come on.

We looked for about oh I’d say 2 minutes before my wife pushed open the door asking WTF was I doing. That’s exactly what she said and not the abbreviated version. I said Sarah lost her passport somewhere in this room, help us please. She calmed down pretty quickly. I was a little annoyed at the slight accusatory tone she entered the room with, however she only said it like that because I was wearing my underwear and not my shorts Lol I thought I had put on my shorts and I honestly did not even know I was just in a t-shirt and underwear. When I saw that I left them in there and walked out. By the time I was heading back in they had found it behind the dresser (Of course) and everything was fine. I told my wife in the hallway that I didn’t know I wasn’t in my shorts. I thought I had pulled them on instead of JUST MY U… you get the picture. She just looked at me and said come to bed. I followed like a little duckling because I already knew this wasn’t over with.

And…………….wasn’t Lol

I crawled into bed with a very irate wife. I apologized again just I had apologized to Sarah twice in front of my wife and told them both it was an accident. Sarah really had my back (Not at all) when she piped up that wasn’t the first time she had seen me in my underwear. I’m not even going to get into that one Lol

My wife was laying on her back giving me the silent treatment and huffing a little loudly. I rolled over because that’s how I avoid a fight and she said aren’t we going to talk about this? Sure, why not!

I told her again I thought I grabbed my shorts and pulled them on. It was dark I didn’t turn on the light so I wouldn’t wake you up. When you walked in I was standing there (Yes technically) in my underwear but not at all near Sarah. She was on the other side of the bed. I had a bag in my hand and I was looking inside to see if the passport was in there. I said how much more unincreminating could it have been. She said first of all (Because every guy just LOVES THAT ONE) that’s not even a word, second of all (Yes, please keep counting) I was standing in my underwear in another woman’s bedroom at 4am looking all sexy with my big ol **** swinging around like it was a space shuttle. Now this made me stop because I was trying to figure out what the **** that even meant. I also knew that there was no movement of any kind or even a shadow of a hint of things being uhhhhhh noticeable at all and I know that Sarah really did not care at all. If she did, she would have said go put some pants on. None of my nannies are shy especially when I’ve done something stupid like this.

She muttered on for about a half hour. I rolled over 4 times to say something but was told to be quiet and finally she said are you even listening to me which I wasn’t because I had fallen back asleep. When I did wake up, guess who was already up and still not calmer. My wife. She said good morning, so where are your shorts they aren’t even on the floor next to the bed.  I sat up and put my glasses on to look. I had put my shorts on the back of the chair right near the bed. That’s where they were. I pointed and she said OH. Then stood there looking at me like I was still guilty of something. I got out of bed and told her sorry for everything but it really was an accident. And if she hadn’t made me do something that required me to have my underwear off, this never would have happened. She finally laughed and hugged me. She said she has enough trouble watching women flock to me when we go out somewhere she doesn’t need it from the nannies. I told her no one flocks, they come over because of the babies, not me. She finally let it go.

Finally! Geez.

We all made it back home. Nothing funny or even interesting to talk about for the flight home. We had so much shit to haul through customs Lol It was kind of embarrassing but oh well. The shuttles from the airport took each family to the places they needed to go and we all made it home after a very long and tiring week in Ireland.

We want to make that an annual trip and I promised her parents as long as they were able and wanting to go, we will take them. My wife hugged everybody twice and thanked them all for coming. She really is sweet. One of her best qualities. She said she had been getting texts a few days after the trip from people still talking about it. She said her mom told her she really did like me and saw what she sees in me. She said that I’m a good father and I always blew on the food I was feeding my boys if it was too hot. I don’t even realize I do that but I’m sure I do. My boys want to eat and if it’s too hot they don’t care Lol I do because that’s not good at all.

Ireland. Done. See you next year!

About Samuel

Single dad of 4 beautiful kids, Heston & Alex my twin boys, and my daughters Peace and Sky. Dad of 2 angel babies in Heaven, Ryan and Talon. Divorced. Semi-retired app developer, business partner, Commercial Real estate investor, Chicago Bears & Chicago Cubs fan, vegan, lifelong Catholic, voting independent party member, guitar playing singer who owns a dog, and 2 cats. We live in beautiful Denver, Colorado. I started my first blog Janaury 1st, 2012. Official owner of and @NotBatmanYet Twitter account.
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