Yesterday Lindsay and I packed ourselves up and flew up to Milwaukee. We had our first joint book signing event. We had a nicer crowd then I have ever gotten before. The book store manager told us around 85 people showed up plus those lingering around until after so they could ask questions and take photos. Lindsay was extremely calm which surprised me. I really thought she would get asked 2 questions and announce she was done Lol She was actually…nice. I asked her what was wrong was she dying and she said no I am getting paid to not destroy these people so I better just shut up. Good point. We are getting paid a LOT of money for this tour. We stayed and did the photos. We answered a bunch of questions most of them were for her. You guys want to know what the #1 question people asked us? They asked Lindsay how she got so many troll accounts suspended on Twitter. She told them all exactly how to do it. I didn’t realize how easy it was. Lindsay is a confirmed 150 + account killer. It’s one of the main reasons Twitter won’t touch my account. Also because I never reply. By proving all of their lies, harassment, and targeting is 1 sided, Twitter protects me and my account. Keep in mind I’m also not doing anything that violates their TOS so there’s that also. Who knew if you are a good person with a great reputation and a ton of followers you can grow a community of fans. Someone suggested we start a Youtube Channel together because we really were pretty funny. We have been friends for 22 years now. She knows every thought in my head it’s almost like she can read my mind. I can’t say the same for her because if ya’ll knew her you would know how completely random she is. For example, we ordered an Uber to get us from the airport to the book store downtown. She opened the door to get in the Uber while I was putting my backpack in the trunk and she closed the door and said grab your bag, this is a No. ????WHAT???? What do you mean this is a no? This is our ride. She said we’re taking a cab, just go.
She said she opened a portal of the 4th level of stank and the cab smelled exactly like burnt grease and nasty socks. She said the guy looked like Bucky from BuckBuckShow Lol I have no idea what that even means. In fact I even googled that and I don’t think that’s a real show. She said she told him No thanks, told me to get my bag and had to scuba breathe for 10 minutes to get that smell out of her nose. It must have been really bad. Sorry Uber guy, but your rating was really bad from us. Clean up your ride. Take a shower. Something.
We grabbed something to eat and flew out to Los Angeles. We got there on time and had about 20 minutes before the event started. So I started shopping for books for my kids. Lindsay said don’t but I didn’t listen and the next thing I knew I was getting surrounded by people. They asked if I was “Him” Lol What does that mean? I do have a name and no it’s not the name Trolls call me. Yes I’m Samuel, hello. Easy to spot me I’m 6’6″. I put the 2 books I had back and walked back over to the signing area. Lindsay said I told ya and that’s what you get. It was fine. I was only a little taken by surprise.
Huge crowd thanks LA! We had 190 at the first LA event and 260 at the second. The 2nd event was at their sister book store that was not too far away. I think it’s weird to own 2 book stores that close together but this is also where they literally have a Starbucks or a McDonald’s every 3 miles. I’m not kidding.
We finished up both events. The plan was to stay the night in LA and maybe go do something fun. She said she was over it (Of course) and wanted to just fly over to Lincoln, Nebraska. I know she only did that so we wouldn’t have to get up really early to leave. Oh and she also said let’s buzz into Vegas she forgot her “good sunglasses”. I said I will buy you some. She said they don’t make them anywhere here she got them in Egypt. Yeah, I know. It’s always complicated with her. For example, (Again), one time she literally threw a sack full of sausage biscuits at a girl because she forgot to put in napkins. I think there was more to it but by the time I went inside to see what was taking so long all I saw was the bag flying and the girl yelling at her. That was a fun morning, not really.
So we went to LV, made it to Drew’s house around 3am and I’m already up. I miss my niece and nephew so much. Drew’s kids are getting so big! I can’t wait until the wake up for school so I can see them. Drew had each of our rooms ready and thank goodness he remembered to make my room on the opposite side of the house than hers. In fact he put her upstairs and told her don’t wake up the kids. She didn’t so that’s good.
Today we have 2 book signings. Tomorrow we have 2 more and then we go to Cleveland to end our tour. This tour is very nice. We are having a lot of fun and I’m doing my best not to get angry or pissy with Lindsay treating me like her butler.
I think I hear the kids. I’m going to go say hi.
Have a great work day guys!