My wife just added my ex-girlfriend to her Facebook, FML

Last night my wife came into my home office with her phone up in the air. That only means something bad. I recognized that right away. I knew it was nothing to do with me because I don’t do anything wrong. So she starts in with…

“Your little friend Peyton, just friend requested me on Facebook”


Well that’s an easy NO! Right? Of course not. So she starts in. What am I going to find out about you two if I add her? Uh why would you ever add her?

Keep in mind Peyton and my wife have been around each other, let me think, 3 times now. They always say hi and then I make someone take Peyton away. Usually it’s Lindsay who is the one who has invited her to come along. I give her a very hard look and she knows to get her the heck away, now!

My wife said “WHY is she trying to add me? We aren’t friends, I barely even know her!”

I don’t know, I said. I didn’t even realize she knew your Facebook account name. I am not friends with her on there. She is not on our family page. I don’t talk to her, I don’t text her. Nothing.

I really thought that would have covered it.

What does my wife do?

She clicked ADD A FRIEND, BOOM!

And that’s when all of (the fun) it started. My wife said Well I added her and turned, whipping her long blonde hair around and walked out.

I just knew she was about to cross-examine Peyton Lol I was ready for it because I have told my wife the whole truth about my 1 month of dating her. Yes, she’s much younger than me. No we never had sex. She pressured me for it I said no because no. Yes she’s an ER nurse in Vegas and yes she and Lindsay are great friends. That’s about all there is to it. When Peyton and I would go out we were usually with a big group of friends. 3 times we ate dinner alone. 1 time we went to a movie alone. Maybe 2 times. It was such a short window of dating I don’t think it was more than 3 movies.

I’m asleep in bed. It’s 1am. My wife taps me on the shoulder.

Your little girlfriend just said that you two kissed.

I woke up thinking WTF now. I said I have to get up in an hour with Peace. We can talk about this later. She said no. So I rolled on my back. I said we dated for a month. Of course we kissed. My wife wanted to know did we make out? Did we just kiss good night? Was the kissing on the couch? Was I grabbing onto body parts while we kissed? What kind of kissing.

I just sighed and said it was just kissing.

That didn’t do anything good Lol

From 1:01am until 1:23 am I had to recount all of the kissing to the best of my ability with my ex-girlfriend. My wife was serious. I really thought she was just going to tease me. I said this girl came way before you. I wasn’t even around this area when I dated her. She came after my affair. I only dated her 1 month, we weren’t serious at all I never even said I love you to her. She never said it to me. All she said one time is that I treated her so well she “COULD” fall for me someday. We both laughed at that and neither one of us caught feelings. She was way too young. She mostly wanted to know about my affair since at the time it was all over the tabloids and on tv.

My wife finally stopped. Until the car ride into work.

She said that she left Peyton a bunch of questions in their chat and hoped that her answers matched mine. I said or what? We are married. I haven’t lied to you. I told you when you asked while we were dating who had I dated. I answered you. It’s the same answers as right now. I was really starting to get pissed.

I decided to throw it down. I said Listen, get whatever answers you need. Make sure you get them all about because when we are going home tonight from work you are going to UNFRIEND HER. And that’s it. Enough of this sh*t.

My wife was shocked. I never speak to my wife like that, ever. I never use curse words around my wife. She said a little bit ago she was also slightly turned on Lol Of course she was. So now I put that out there and I didn’t get in trouble for it. So I hope they have their chat. My wife gets her answers and sees I haven’t lied to her and then we can all move on.

For whatever reason I’m pretty sure Lindsay is the one that told Peyton to add my wife. I just know somehow Lindz is involved. She loves doing this to me out of nowhere. I’m going to call her at 10am to see.

So that’s how my morning started Lol How about you guys? Anything good happening so far? Happy Monday? Yeah, right.

Have a great work week. I hope ya’ll are enjoying this weather. Remember to still keep donating to all of the areas affected by the hurricanes. They still need help!

God loves you and I love ya’ll too!