First date with Jen

I got asked out a month ago. Her name is Jen. I thought it was nice and flattering but I said no way. 1 month later I was thinking about it. Why not? I mean I have to start dating again someday, why not soon? My kids are all feeling better. I have 2 nannies that can watch my kids at night.

It was time to make THE PHONE CALL.

So I paced around. I picked up my phone. I practiced what to say and how to phrase it and then I completely blew it Lol She answered the phone. I introduced myself. She laughed and said I know who you are silly. I said I know but I wanted to remind you that you asked me out a month ago and now I think I’m ready. She said oh is that right, what makes you think I sat around waiting.

Total silence….

Uhhhh. Then she said I’m just kidding. I would love to go out with you.

Big sigh of relief

Okay great. What day next week works for you? She said Friday. I said let me check my calendar. She said no this Friday. Like now. We can go out right now. I said I don’t think I can. She said why not? I said I don’t know. I think I’m scared Lol She said don’t be. Go get ready to go and I will meet you at (Not going to mention the restaurant’s name) in an hour. I said okay.

I RAN out to the living room and said Ladies…I have a date! They said Woohoo and then I said it’s in an hour is that okay? They said yes and then took me into  my closet to help me pick out what to wear. They helped me pick out an outfit. I jumped into the shower, got ready to go and then went to tell my kids. It’s so hard to explain this to them. They think I’m going to go play legos with her. That’s okay. I made sure they had everything they needed before I left and then I took off. I stopped to wash my Range because it was really dirty. Then I vacuumed it out because I forgot we had cheerios all over the floors.

I showed up a little early and then texted her. She said I’m almost there. I went and stood in front of the restaurant. She came walking up a few minutes later in a nice sun dress. She looked great! I was excited and just grinned. My heart was pounding in my chest and I wasn’t sure how to greet her. I said Hi Jen. Thanks for meeting me. She said I’m excited. I haven’t been on a first date in a few months. I said it’s been a few years for me. We did a sort of small hug thing. I was going to kiss her cheek but I pulled away. We bought kind of laughed and then I opened the door for her. We actually got seated pretty fast which was nice.

We sat and talked for a while. We ate and laughed. She has some really funny stories about work. We both talked about some of our other first dates and how they never turn out the way you think it might. We left the unnamed restaurant and decided to go over to this place where you can sit and talk and just enjoy the evening. It had a live band, an outdoor patio and a lot of really cool views around the area. We talked for 3 hours. I couldn’t believe it. She’s so easy to talk to and she’s very smart. I didn’t realize how much she knew about some of the things I’m interested in. I told her that I only planned on being in the area another 6 weeks because Alex can’t travel yet. She said she would like to go out with me again next week and if I wanted we can casually date until I leave. I thought that was great but I told her no. I didn’t want to pin her into a bunch of dates with just me for the next 6 weeks because that wasn’t fair. She said she didn’t mind. I was cute and funny and this way she can ease herself back into the dating scene. I said I would think about it but another date next week would be great.

We ended the date at her car. I wasn’t sure how to do this. Do you kiss someone after a 4 and a half hour date? Do you just do another little hug?

Well that got answered when she said you can kiss me now. I said Okay and started grinning and then leaned it. It wasn’t a big kiss. It was a small sweet one but I did hold onto her face the whole time. She leaned back after and said that was nice. I said I know and we both laughed Lol I walked back to my Range and felt that was a very good date. No pressure, easy to talk to each other. It was fun. I got home and about 10 minutes after she texted me and said she had a great time, she made it home safe, and she was really looking forward to our next date.

I never texted her back. I was trying to play it cool. I texted her this morning and said thanks for meeting up. I was looking forward to it too.

So I guess I’m dating now. I had a bad afternoon yesterday. I really thought my date would be next weekend or something. I’m surprised she wanted to go out last night but it worked out great. I’m happy that we did go out.

Now I need to work on what to do on the 2nd date. I need to figure out cool things that are fun and will leave us room to talk more and get to know each other.

Anyone have any ideas? We are in the Colorado Springs area. Wish me luck! Dating is scary!

Delay, delay, delay, de…party on Wayne!

We have been passing around some sort of stomach bug for the past few days and it’s not been fun. I don’t know who brought this evil into my home but I wish it would go away. So far I haven’t picked it up. Somebody knock on some wood please. Everyone else in the house, it’s happening. Combine all of the diapers I’ve changed in the past 2 years and that still won’t add up to how much diaper filling material we’ve been dealing with. Okay that’s exaggerated but you get it. It’s been a lot.

I do believe we are finally getting over it and I’m very happy to say I really believe we can FINALLY do Peace’s first birthday party. Giant huge relief sigh. We are going to hold it on Sunday just in case. We want to make sure everything runs its course and does a proper exit (pun intended) all the way out. I want everyone to enjoy her small little party and not feel like we pushed the kids into it when they don’t feel well.

Everyone is eating, staying hydrated, and we are very happy with Pedialyte. I’m well aware it’s a big debate on if it’s vegan or not. I don’t care.  It helped all of my kids and that was one of those tough parenting decisions I had to make. I even called their customer service number to ask and they said it IS vegan. I don’t think so, but it worked. So thank you the makers of Pedialyte.

Wish us luck. This party has been a major bummer and we all need to reset and get ready for a great day for my little sweet Pea.

 

It’s a Winnie the Pooh 1st birthday party and a surprise announcement

My daughter’s 1st birthday is tomorrow. I can’t believe it’s been 1 whole year since she came into the world. I didn’t get to meet her until 3 days later but it was worth the wait. She is still perfect. She’s very chill except when she’s saying dada over and over. She is my little snugglebug. She loves to be held, she loves to laugh and play. She’s doing all she can to grow up into a sweet little angel. Until her brothers take her things, then it’s whack-city Lol

Over the weekend we had family and friends fly into town. We were going to do her party on Saturday. Saturday morning she woke up sick. I said let’s try for Sunday. She still wasn’t doing better so I told them sorry, go home. We are going to do a small party with a ton of food and decorations because I still have everything we ordered. My living room looks like a garden Pooh party. You can barely get around in there.

Did I mention I’m still in Colorado Springs? Yes, we will be here for the next 7 weeks. Our house is finally all set up and ready. The nannies helped out so much with that. God bless them both. Sarah is flying in tonight. She wouldn’t dare miss the make-up birthday party. I texted her early Saturday and told her to hold off on her flight. We have a poop issue, not a pooh issue. She said okay. Lindsay has been here for a few days. She’s been very entertaining. She has Peace thinking that she runs the whole house, which she probably does. Peace gets everything she wants right now. Thankfully she’s not of age to know that she has such powers full-time. She mostly just wants some fruit. That kid is a fruit nut. She loves all kinds of chopped, pureed, or diced fruit. I’m very happy about that.

I had to reorder the Pooh cake because the boys destroyed the first one. I wasn’t very happy but I have to remember, kids will be kids. As long as we have the new one in time tomorrow morning I will be fine with it.

Alex is doing great. He’s getting around much better and his breathing treatments at night are going faster. We get to reduce down the dosage. I just wish that machine was quieter. It’s loud.

Man it’s been raining here all day. I wanted to get the backyard set up with a bouncy house but that’s not going to happen. I bought a nice size inflatable swimming pool so that the smaller kids could at least dip in with their parent holding them. It’s not big enough for adults to do anything but sit in it. I thought the 1-year-old friends might enjoy a dip. The sun is supposed to come out right around party time at lunchtime so I’m really hoping that we can do something fun outside. If not we can play the 3 games I found for babies and hope they have fun.

I’ve tried so hard to get this party perfect. I ordered way too much stuff. I made too many birthday present choices. I wanted a nice, small family gathering. It turned into a shindig.

Colorado Springs is pretty awesome. I’m starting to find my way around town. I love the local radio stations here. The morning talk stuff is pretty funny. They are playing a great selection of the newer songs and the old. I listen to it a lot while I’m cooking breakfast and then cleaning up. I really have enjoyed my time here. We haven’t been able to get out and explore much but I hope to soon.

Happy Birthday to my little girl, Peace Taylor! I love you very much and I really hope you enjoy your special day even though you aren’t going to remember any of this. We are still going to take a mountain of photos and videos. I will do a special Facebook Live tomorrow with the birthday girl for you guys. Be sure to check it all out on our Family Facebook page. I will try to update more tomorrow.

Have a great week! Love ya’ll!

Rowboat Book Club Book #67

We are finally going to do it. A lot of you have been asking for it. We are going to read The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks.

Set amid the austere beauty of the North Carolina coast, The Notebook begins with the story of Noah Calhoun, a rural Southerner recently returned from the Second World War. Noah is restoring a plantation home to its former glory, and he is haunted by images of the beautiful girl he met fourteen years earlier, a girl he loved like no other. Unable to find her, yet unwilling to forget the summer they spent together, Noah is content to live with only memories…until she unexpectedly returns to his town to see him once again.

Like a puzzle within a puzzle, the story of Noah and Allie is just the beginning. As it unfolds, their tale miraculously becomes something different, with much higher stakes. The result is a deeply moving portrait of love itself, the tender moments and the fundamental changes that affect us all. It is a story of miracles and emotions that will stay with you forever.

Giving up is actually necessary sometimes

This week has been pretty tough. We are all feeling tired, emotionally spent, and not really sure what’s next.

I have a house for everyone to move into on Wednesday. We are having a cleaning crew go over this weekend to completely get it ready for Alex. He has to have a clean home to come to. He gets out hopefully on Thursday. I’m going to drive him with one of my nannies right down to Colorado Springs and into the new house. I hope he understands all of this hospital stuff is almost done and he is going home soon. I tell him all of the time soon. He doesn’t get it.

The girls are in a dash to shop, shop, shop for all of the furniture we need. They are buying things in sets to make it easier. I told them I don’t care, just get the house set up. I may soon regret that. I may walk into Pink princess décor with shiny gold everything else. My Airbnb rental I have them in now isn’t that far from the new house.

Keep in mind all of this is just temporary because I can’t move Alex back to Chicago for 2 months. I can’t fly with him. He can’t handle that long of a drive. It’s been a very upsetting decision making time for me. So we will be in Colorado Springs until the end of September at least. Hopefully then we can get him back up to Denver to the doctors to make sure he can fly home. Or we are just going to stay in Colorado Springs longer. I don’t know yet.

I was forced to say goodbye to a very special person in my life yesterday. It was incredibly hard but the entire situation had gotten so toxic and I just didn’t want to deal with all of the bullshit anymore. I wished the person well, prayed for all of it to be good, and left it where I found it, nowhere. I’m happy that the stress is gone but I miss everything else. I don’t need any more right now. I’m maxed out on everything. Friends come and go and maybe someday that friendship will find its way back. If not, I already said I’m moving on. I have to. Life is way too short to deal with certain things. I woke up this morning knowing I made the right decision and for now, I’m glad. I can deal with small things. The bigger things are too much. I’m focusing on my son, my kids, myself.

In better news the divorce of the century is finally wrapping up. It’s not an annulment because the State of Illinois doesn’t do annulments anymore. It’s called something else. I’m going to be officially single soon! It’s actually horrible to get a divorce. Now I know why I never wanted one before. It sucks. She has no parental rights to any of the kids. She has no visitation. She won’t be in their lives. The way things have been going, her family won’t be in either. They are making things pretty difficult. I was being nice by allowing the kids to go visit from time to time, with 2 nannies. That was what I felt comfortable with. Now it’s so complicated. I must have my kids in a place where everyone just wants the best for them. I don’t need my nannies coming home telling me they constantly ask the boys if they miss mommy. Of course they miss her. They still ask about her from time to time. It’s not as frequent anymore. I told them to stop. Let the boys talk about her when they want to. Don’t keep jabbing the open wounds, it’s not fair to them. When I am divorced I’m going to have a huge party. Okay, no I won’t. But I will feel like having a giant party. I just want to be away from her as soon as possible. I made a huge mistake marrying her and we both know it’s time to move on.

Giving up, it really has it’s purpose. Sometimes it is for the best reasons. I never wanted to give up on my marriage. I never, ever wanted to be divorced, until….My kids are a package deal. Same with my dog and this cat that I am stuck with. I’m giving all of them the best life possible. And I have zero intention of giving any of them up. Even the crazy cat. We love our little family and hopefully next year I will be adopting another little girl. I want Peace to have a sister. I think that would be awesome.

Alex is doing great. We have a ton of family and friends in town this weekend. That is helping me get on the phone and start making arrangements for the move. I need all of our clothing shipped out here. I also need some things for the kids and pets. Anything the adults need I told them just go buy it. I do not want to see my credit card bill next month I’m sure. I told them please don’t go nuts. I think they went nuts Lol

God help us all! Love ya’ll. Hope you are having a great weekend.

 

 

 

Healing

Alex is doing a lot better. I took the night off and slept like a rock. I don’t think I’ve slept more than 2 hours a night since Sunday. My kids are on their way here now. I hope this will pick up his spirits a little. He’s eating, he’s doing what he needs to do to heal up. Things all look good and I really hope he is out of ICU later tonight. At the most it will be tomorrow morning. Having him in a regular room is going to be a lot easier.

Big giant sigh of relief. We are getting through this. Scary, heart-breaking, worrisome. It has tested my last fiber of faith. I really was not ready for any of this. It just happened all at once. Isn’t that how life goes, though? I thank God for every moment of this and pray all day long my son gets better soon. God has big things for his life and I can’t wait to get him home. He just wants to be home.

I spent yesterday replying to all of your wonderful messages, prayers, comments. Thank you guys. So many fans have reached out to ask what they can do. We don’t need a GoFundMe page Lol That’s really nice, don’t ever do that for me or my kids. We are fine. We just like positive thoughts, prayers, good wishes. That’s enough. You guys are amazing! I do not want to provide a mailing address so you can send gifts and cards. I really appreciate the sentiment but no thanks. If you want to send an Ecard for him, that will be fun and I can open it first to read it then show him and read it to him. My email is Samuel@NotBatmanYet.com. It’s on the top of the website somewhere I think too.

We are all healing. This year, honestly just kinda sucks for me. It’s like a never-ending something and something else always going on. I knew having kids would be hard but dang. This whole thing is stressing me the f out Lol

Hope everyone has a great day. Thanks again, guys! Love ya’ll!

Update on Alex and many many photos uploaded

Good morning guys. Alex is in ICU now. His surgery went well yesterday. Things are going okay I guess. I have been worried, praying, and trying to stay calm through all of this. Turns out he’s fine, will be fine, and this is just a minor blip in his life that he won’t remember much of. Except for the scar he will have forever. He’s going to be in ICU a few more days than we go to a regular hospital room. From there we have to stay in Colorado for a few weeks. That’s unexpected. We will move him from Denver back to Colorado Springs though as soon as we can. My other kids are in CS with my nannies. I have family here now with me. Lindsay is here but she is leaving later today. She has a business trip she can’t cancel.

If you want to see the photos from all of this hospital stay I just added them to our Family Facebook page. I also spent time overnight uploaded more photos and videos I had. The kids are doing the best they can through everything they have going on. My nannies are amazing and deserve a vacation. A lot of our summer trips are off now. I can’t go anywhere for the next 2 months at least. We are doing all we can to figure out what to do about where to stay. I can keep renting Airbnb places for the family. I can get us in swank hotels. Or I can just buy a house in Colorado Springs, set it up for us and then rent it out or renovate it and sell it later on. All viable options. The best money for me would be to just buy a place. We do like it there. My kids enjoy all of the cool airplane, train, play places. It’s a thought for now and something I need to figure out by the end of today. It takes time to get things going and the more I don’t decide the longer it’s going to take set up somewhere.

My divorce is signed off on from both parties. My soon to be ex threw in a last-minute nuclear bomb that didn’t go off. My lawyers caught it Lol Nice try on that. She got exactly what the pre-nup stated. She got more throughout the marriage and I didn’t argue for any of it back. She kept the car she wanted. She has an apartment now in downtown Chicago and she is still working at her new job. She is not dating anyone. She is in therapy and I hope the best for her. She has asked to come back over and over. Even after we signed the papers. I said I can’t, I won’t, I’m not in love with you anymore. She has told me over and over she’s still in love with me. I’m sorry but I can’t. If you don’t want my kids, you can’t have me. I won’t give them up and I won’t allow someone near them that doesn’t want them.

I’ve made huge mistakes with women. I clearly have no concept of how to find the right one. Dating is not even on my radar. Focusing on my kids, on my life. That’s what I’m doing these days. It’s hard. All of this is very hard on me.

Today I’m hanging out with Alex. Reading to him, letting him watch movies or do whatever he can. He gets restless and wants up. We can’t get up too much right now. They are doing a very wonderful job and after all of this my family foundation will be donating to this hospital. They are so good with him. The other kids will be up tomorrow. I wanted to give him time to just relax. I know they miss him. I know he misses them. It’s going to be so good to see them. I miss having all of my babies with me.

I hope everyone is doing great. I’m barely hanging on here. It’s been very hard emotionally. My support system disappeared at the moment Lindsay showed up so that helped. She goes into To Do List mode and figures out what we need to take care of from hour to hour. She really is what a best friend is all about. Drew is coming out with his kids this weekend. He couldn’t just up and take off work. I understand. He has called a few times everyday for checkups and his wife texts me all day giving me some great advice. They are so good to me.

I will sit here today and get back to all of the messages. I have nothing else going on. While he’s sleeping I can get on my Ipad and do that. I’m sorry I  haven’t been posting much. We have had a very busy and not so great summer. I haven’t even gotten into all that has gone on. I’m not ready yet. I will as soon as I can. I’m trying to stay positive and get myself in a better place. It’s all been so overwhelming but I know God would never put too much on me.

I will try to update more. Be sure to check out our photos. You will see Alex in his hospital room after surgery so if that makes you a little uncomfortable don’t click on that album I made that says Denver Hospital 2018. There are only 5 photos in there and 1 video. I did an update video this morning to send to family and decided to upload it on there too. I look tired because I am tired. I sound tired because I’m spent. I haven’t been sleeping much. I refuse to leave him so I’ve had clothes and things brought in. It’s been hard. All good things now though.

Life is getting better. Finally!

Out with the Red, in with the Blue

Things got a little more complicated, then it was fine, and now it’s complicated again. I will update more when I can. Thank you all for the wonderful messages and emails. I can’t respond to them yet. I hope to by this weekend. I appreciate ya’ll so much. Check back soon for a better update. Love ya’ll!