Good morning guys. Alex is in ICU now. His surgery went well yesterday. Things are going okay I guess. I have been worried, praying, and trying to stay calm through all of this. Turns out he’s fine, will be fine, and this is just a minor blip in his life that he won’t remember much of. Except for the scar he will have forever. He’s going to be in ICU a few more days than we go to a regular hospital room. From there we have to stay in Colorado for a few weeks. That’s unexpected. We will move him from Denver back to Colorado Springs though as soon as we can. My other kids are in CS with my nannies. I have family here now with me. Lindsay is here but she is leaving later today. She has a business trip she can’t cancel.

If you want to see the photos from all of this hospital stay I just added them to our Family Facebook page. I also spent time overnight uploaded more photos and videos I had. The kids are doing the best they can through everything they have going on. My nannies are amazing and deserve a vacation. A lot of our summer trips are off now. I can’t go anywhere for the next 2 months at least. We are doing all we can to figure out what to do about where to stay. I can keep renting Airbnb places for the family. I can get us in swank hotels. Or I can just buy a house in Colorado Springs, set it up for us and then rent it out or renovate it and sell it later on. All viable options. The best money for me would be to just buy a place. We do like it there. My kids enjoy all of the cool airplane, train, play places. It’s a thought for now and something I need to figure out by the end of today. It takes time to get things going and the more I don’t decide the longer it’s going to take set up somewhere.

My divorce is signed off on from both parties. My soon to be ex threw in a last-minute nuclear bomb that didn’t go off. My lawyers caught it Lol Nice try on that. She got exactly what the pre-nup stated. She got more throughout the marriage and I didn’t argue for any of it back. She kept the car she wanted. She has an apartment now in downtown Chicago and she is still working at her new job. She is not dating anyone. She is in therapy and I hope the best for her. She has asked to come back over and over. Even after we signed the papers. I said I can’t, I won’t, I’m not in love with you anymore. She has told me over and over she’s still in love with me. I’m sorry but I can’t. If you don’t want my kids, you can’t have me. I won’t give them up and I won’t allow someone near them that doesn’t want them.

I’ve made huge mistakes with women. I clearly have no concept of how to find the right one. Dating is not even on my radar. Focusing on my kids, on my life. That’s what I’m doing these days. It’s hard. All of this is very hard on me.

Today I’m hanging out with Alex. Reading to him, letting him watch movies or do whatever he can. He gets restless and wants up. We can’t get up too much right now. They are doing a very wonderful job and after all of this my family foundation will be donating to this hospital. They are so good with him. The other kids will be up tomorrow. I wanted to give him time to just relax. I know they miss him. I know he misses them. It’s going to be so good to see them. I miss having all of my babies with me.

I hope everyone is doing great. I’m barely hanging on here. It’s been very hard emotionally. My support system disappeared at the moment Lindsay showed up so that helped. She goes into To Do List mode and figures out what we need to take care of from hour to hour. She really is what a best friend is all about. Drew is coming out with his kids this weekend. He couldn’t just up and take off work. I understand. He has called a few times everyday for checkups and his wife texts me all day giving me some great advice. They are so good to me.

I will sit here today and get back to all of the messages. I have nothing else going on. While he’s sleeping I can get on my Ipad and do that. I’m sorry I  haven’t been posting much. We have had a very busy and not so great summer. I haven’t even gotten into all that has gone on. I’m not ready yet. I will as soon as I can. I’m trying to stay positive and get myself in a better place. It’s all been so overwhelming but I know God would never put too much on me.

I will try to update more. Be sure to check out our photos. You will see Alex in his hospital room after surgery so if that makes you a little uncomfortable don’t click on that album I made that says Denver Hospital 2018. There are only 5 photos in there and 1 video. I did an update video this morning to send to family and decided to upload it on there too. I look tired because I am tired. I sound tired because I’m spent. I haven’t been sleeping much. I refuse to leave him so I’ve had clothes and things brought in. It’s been hard. All good things now though.

Life is getting better. Finally!

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