2017 Year in Review – No

Merry Christmas everyone! We are wrapping up our Christmas eve things and getting the kids in bed so that we can attend the midnight mass at Church. We finally agreed to find a new Church and after much discussion and me telling her this is the Church for us, she gave up Lol To all the guys out there, I finally won an argument! Mark that down somewhere. That never happens. She said she trusts my judgement and didn’t want to keep stressing both of us out over something we both need to be supportive of. She also said if she hates it we aren’t going back Lol She also said if we don’t go back she’s going to call me a few names and find the right Church for us. That figures.

We all got to open 1 present each. The boys have been playing with their firetrucks all day. Peace threw her new handle toy thing around but only cared about the wrapping paper. My dog has been slinging his new snake rope toy around like crazy. The cat looked at her dragonfly toy and could give 2 sh**s Lol My wife LOVED the new perfume I found for her in Dubai. I am rocking my new sweater since it makes me look sexy and very Christmasy. We are all having the best time.

I would love to sit here for a few hours and recap how my 2017 went but you can literally read about almost all that happened on here. Hit the month you want to start at and go down the aisle I guess. I don’t have time to do the recap. My wife is a billion months pregnant and in constant need of my attention when my kids aren’t in need of me.

I can say I have had the best year of my life. If you had asked me 3 years ago would I be married with kids, NO. I just didn’t see much of a future after my very public affair.

I can tell how much I have grown and I still stand in the truth that there never was a catfish of Meri Brown. There was ONLY an affair and you are finally going to start seeing the truth on that stupid show. Their marriage was sh**, is sh**, and will not heal. The reason for that is Kody has read my blog, listened to the voicemails, and read my book. He now has the same information I had. He said at first “no fault” on her part at all. Now that he is more informed of the full situation he doesn’t want her anymore. He loves her and will always love her, but he’s not in love with her anymore. That is largely due to the lies she has told him and everyone. It also is because she still plays victim. She has done it with him for years, she did it with me, and she continues to play victim with all of you viewers. She has never owned up to the affair. She admitted to lying to avoid fighting with him. She admits that we had a love relationship, she even briefly admitted we had a great time and laughed. Then she realized if she told the REAL truth about our affair she would lose everything. She has NO WHERE TO GO. That’s why she stays. She’s not there helping raise kids. She’s not there because she’s in love with her husband. Meri stays in that awful marriage because since she was 19 years old this is all she knows. She is a part of that family and she does want that. She just has no way out. Think about it. She is legally divorced and got NO ASSETS in the divorce. The house is still in both her and Kody’s names. She is still providing money to her daughter’s living expenses, and continues to try to make money on the side wearing clown outfits and going around the country selling things to other clown outfit fans. She looks ridiculous in that stuff. Yes she is fully covered up but one of the things she told me is she couldn’t wait to be able to wear anything she wants. Hey, whatever got her out of all of that denim, I guess, right? She is an almost 47-year-old woman with a failed marriage and she continues to be selfish. She is very needy, she has no sense of self and if you really know her like I do, you can see her Pinterest quotes that get tweeted are all FOR ATTENTION. It’s not to empower herself or others. It’s to make people say Whhhhhhatttttt??? Meri are you okay???? And then the comments follow and her ego is fed. There is a lot of emotional trauma she has been through and none of it was with me. We broke up. I left her alone. She started harassing me, I stood up for myself. End of story. The truth will be coming out. You will see that Kody NEVER forgave her for the affair. He NEVER believed her story because according to her all we did was “talk on the phone and text on Twitter and cellphones”. If that was true why didn’t she block my number? Or how about this? Hang up the phone! She didn’t because she was in love with me and she lied about our affair. She wanted me. She just didn’t know how to leave.

She is going to leave some day because God help me something in her brain will trigger the exact response she should have had yeeeaaaarrrrsss ago. She married a douchebag that traded her in 3 different times for someone new. That has got to cause so much emotional damage I don’t even know what to say about that. They are not doing this multiple partner lifestyle because of their religious beliefs. They don’t even have a Church anymore. The few times we have seen the “Church” service it was in their own home and no one paid attention. They are doing this because Kody has convinced some very naive, helpless, rundown women that he can provide a better life for them. It’s about sex, and providing him with income. He is a cult leader and the more you step back to really see what’s going on the more you feel disgusted. I’m glad to be out of that mess. Lindsay had told Meri that Mariah was gay. I asked her if she was a few times and she said no she just concentrates on school and hangs out with her friends. Sorry but if a girl has never been on a date with a boy or EVER had a boyfriend all through middle school, high school, and college something is up. She was blindsided but not really. We told her. She just didn’t believe us. I think it’s very cool and I hope all of the best for her. She is a very sharp girl and I was happy to get to know her the little bit that I did.

I appreciate all of the support I have gotten. Yes I know that stupid show is coming back on. You won’t see anything new. It’s the exact same thing and that’s why they reduced it down to a few episodes and to air once a year. Their ads are down, they can’t come up with any new exciting storylines. This is all they have left. One hand gripping the cash and the other flipping off their own viewers.

I wish I made that up but it is all true.

I have grown up so much in the past 3 years. I am exactly with the right woman, creating a family and building my next chapter. My life is perfect. I am officially done working until I figure out what I want to do next. I still have no idea at all.

I pray everyday that everyone that reads my blog is healthy, happy, and living the best life they can. Even my haters. Very few people these days harass me. The ones that still cling to their made up version of my life are losers and have no business commenting on anything. Look at their lives. What have they accomplished in a year? The got blocked by me and spent the next 11 months calling me names, saying I’m a girl, and embarrassing themselves? Lol That’s a waste of your life.

I’m happy. I’m not going anywhere. My proof and truth are RIGHT HERE. I answer any nice question I can and love meeting the people who are interested in my book. I have made a ton of real friends from all of this mess. I have kept my old friends and we have had the best vacations together. I very much look forward to the birth of my son Talon in late January. I can’t believe my boys are almost 2. I can’t believe I have a daughter! My dog is healthy and awesome. Life in Paris is going to be an adventure. My life turned out great.

So Merry Christmas Batfans! I’m so happy you are here. Here’s to another great year together. My 2018 is going to be Batastic!

I love you guys very much and I hope you get all of your Christmas dreams! May God bless each of your families and bring you all closer together this year.

You all deserve the best!

Love, The Samuel Cooper Family

P.S. Santa is going to be extra generous to my kids this year. Lindsay must have bribed him Lol

Ho HO HOOOOOOO Meerrrrryyyyyy Christmas!

Happy Valentine’s Day 2017

I have been planning for today for 3 weeks. It’s been a lot of creative thinking and really intently listening to my wife. She was specific on what she wanted to do and gave me some ideas for gifts. This is our very first Valentine’s Day as a married couple and I really don’t want to screw it all up. I have a lot of very secretive plans and of course I’m not going to share them here. Just know she will be surprised at lunch time, also when she first gets home from work, and our evening will be full of romance, an amazing supper, and all night without the boys. That’s when the fireworks will really happen. She already arrived to work to find 2 dozen long stem roses with a handwritten card waiting for her. Also a box of her favorite chocolates and a little necklace and pendant set from me and the boys. She took a Selfie (Isn’t it a Valentinelfie today? Lol) and called me to thank me for being so sweet. I made her breakfast in bed so she wouldn’t have to grab something on the way to work. She loved the prompt and healthy wakeup. Then she treated me to a shower together which turned into something else and we both left for work, happy, and grinning big time Lol I’m telling ya folks, this marriage stuff is the best. It suits me just fine!

I hope she sees the effort behind all of this. I did not go overboard on the gifts. She likes more subtle things. And we already both have everything we need. We both love to shop and are always buying things for each other. I focused mostly on some homemade gifts my boys and Aunt Lindsay helped me with for her office. They will be delivered with her lunch today. And I will be leaving work at 3 to go set up the condo for when she gets off work.

I can’t tell you how excited I am! I hope she likes it. I tried very hard to show her how much she means to me.

Happy Valentine’s day everyone. I hope you have a romantic day and evening with someone very special. If you are alone this year, go out with some friends or find a way to celebrate the single life. I had many a single Valentine’s Day and as long as I stayed busy it was just fine.

God loves you all and I do too!

Happy Labor Day 2016!

Been at work since 7am trying to catch up on a few things. It’s a lot easier to get work done when no one is in the office.

Happy Labor day!

I’m leaving here in a few. I also had to come here to grab some tables and chairs we have in the storage room. I invited 2 people. Somehow our party turned into 16 people total. Which is fine the more people the more food I get to eat! Everyone is bringing a dish we are doing the meat/tofu and the dessert. I bought a bunch of cakes from a really good bakery. And we have ice cream. I thought that would go well with the cakes.

Josh is helping me grill steaks, burgers, brats and hot dogs. I’m grilling tofu and a bunch of veggies. My favorite. Can’t stand cooking meat but I know everyone else likes it. Makes me want to gag. Yuck. Go Vegan! I’ve really been looking forward to this bbq for a few days. Talking over the menu with the girls. It took a while to figure out what we should go buy but I think we have it all now. I have to load up the 2 tables. I’m taking a break because I loaded up all of the chairs. I was hoping we could do a roof deck. We are going to set everything up there. If it’s too windy we will move it all inside.

I’m excited to see everyone today. A lot of friends of the nannies I don’t even know yet. And of course any free time I get with my two boys is extra special. We have had a very fun and entertaining weekend. They both babble so much it’s hilarious. And the laughing. I’m sorry but a baby laughing is the best thing in the world. It just is. Everyone is healthy, happy. We’re good. We are all really good.

Time to get back to work here. Spend time today relaxing and enjoying your day off. If you have to work, sorry. Take time off later! Love ya’ll!

St. Teresa

We have a new Saint in the Catholic family today. I am so proud that St. Teresa has finally received the holy honor she deserves. It’s a long process to achieve the Sainthood but I could not be happier about it. At Church this morning we all prayed to her and we also prayed for everyone to receive her love and blessings.

I know a lot of her stories because I’ve read a bunch of books and articles about her life. She died September 5th, 1997. This is from Wiki:

On 10 September 1946, Teresa experienced what she later described as “the call within the call” while travelling by train to the Loreto convent in Darjeeling from Calcutta for her annual retreat. “I was to leave the convent and help the poor while living among them. It was an order. To fail would have been to break the faith.”[44] One author later observed, “Though no one knew it at the time, Sister Teresa had just become Mother Teresa”.[45]

She began her missionary work with the poor in 1948, replacing her traditional Loreto habit with a simple white cotton sari decorated with a blue border. Saint Teresa adopted Indian citizenship, spent a few months in Patna to receive a basic medical training in the Holy Family Hospital and then ventured out into the slums.[46][47] Initially, she started a school in Motijhil (Kolkata); soon she started tending to the needs of the destitute and starving.[48] In the beginning of 1949, she was joined in her effort by a group of young women and laid the foundations of a new religious community helping the “poorest among the poor”.

Her efforts quickly caught the attention of Indian officials, including the prime minister, who expressed his appreciation.[49]

St. Teresa wrote in her diary that her first year was fraught with difficulties. She had no income and had to resort to begging for food and supplies. Teresa experienced doubt, loneliness and the temptation to return to the comfort of convent life during these early months. She wrote in her diary:

“Our Lord wants me to be a free nun covered with the poverty of the cross. Today, I learned a good lesson. The poverty of the poor must be so hard for them. While looking for a home I walked and walked till my arms and legs ached. I thought how much they must ache in body and soul, looking for a home, food and health. Then, the comfort of Loreto [her former congregation] came to tempt me. ‘You have only to say the word and all that will be yours again,’ the Tempter kept on saying … Of free choice, my God, and out of love for you, I desire to remain and do whatever be your Holy will in my regard. I did not let a single tear come.”[50]

St. Teresa received Vatican permission on 7 October 1950 to start the diocesan congregation that would become the Missionaries of Charity.[51] Its mission was to care for, in her own words, “the hungry, the naked, the homeless, the crippled, the blind, the lepers, all those people who feel unwanted, unloved, uncared for throughout society, people that have become a burden to the society and are shunned by everyone.”

It began as a small congregation with 13 members in Calcutta; by 1997 it had grown to more than 4,000 sisters running orphanages, AIDS hospices and charity centres worldwide, and caring for refugees, the blind, disabled, aged, alcoholics, the poor and homeless, and victims of floods, epidemics, and famine.[52]

2007 image of Mother Teresa’s Home for the Dying, Nirmal Hriday, in Calcutta.

In 1952, Mother Teresa opened the first Home for the Dying in space made available by the city of Calcutta. With the help of Indian officials she converted an abandoned Hindu temple into the Kalighat Home for the Dying, a free hospice for the poor. She renamed it Kalighat, the Home of the Pure Heart (Nirmal Hriday).[53] Those brought to the home received medical attention and were afforded the opportunity to die with dignity, according to the rituals of their faith; Muslims were read the Quran, Hindus received water from the Ganges, and Catholics received the Last Rites.[54] “A beautiful death”, she said, “is for people who lived like animals to die like angels—loved and wanted.”[54]

Saint Teresa soon opened a home for those suffering from Hansen’s disease, commonly known as leprosy, and called the hospice Shanti Nagar (City of Peace).[55] The Missionaries of Charity also established several leprosy outreach clinics throughout Calcutta, providing medication, bandages and food.[56]

As the Missionaries of Charity took in increasing numbers of lost children, Mother Teresa felt the need to create a home for them. In 1955 she opened the Nirmala Shishu Bhavan, the Children’s Home of the Immaculate Heart, as a haven for orphans and homeless youth.[57]

The congregation soon began to attract both recruits and charitable donations, and by the 1960s had opened hospices, orphanages and leper houses all over India. Mother Teresa then expanded the congregation throughout the globe. Its first house outside India opened in Venezuela in 1965 with five sisters.[58] Others followed in Rome, Tanzania, and Austria in 1968; during the 1970s the congregation opened houses and foundations in dozens of countries in Asia, Africa, Europe and the United States.[59]

The Missionaries of Charity Brothers was founded in 1963, and a contemplative branch of the Sisters followed in 1976. Lay Catholics and non-Catholics were enrolled in the Co-Workers of Mother Teresa, the Sick and Suffering Co-Workers, and the Lay Missionaries of Charity. In answer to the requests of many priests, in 1981 Mother Teresa also began the Corpus Christi Movement for Priests,[60] and in 1984 founded with Fr. Joseph Langford the Missionaries of Charity Fathers[61] to combine the vocational aims of the Missionaries of Charity with the resources of the ministerial priesthood. By 2007 the Missionaries of Charity numbered approximately 450 brothers and 5,000 sisters worldwide, operating 600 missions, schools and shelters in 120 countries.[62]

Very interesting story and choice to live her life in service of God and to all others. I am proud to be Catholic. I do not agree with all of our teachings and morality. But I also believe that my Faith has gotten me to where I am today. I just love God. Without God I always feel lost. I’m happy we get today. We can celebrate St. Teresa and remember her good works. She will always be someone I look up to. She is a hero to me and I love her. I hope to be more like her and follow her example.

God bless you all! I love ya’ll and I hope you have a good Sunday. We are going shopping with the boys. We had our first Cubs game yesterday. I was on Dad duty more than I got to watch the game but that’s okay. Because all of the Cubbie fans were so awesome to help me out and also keep me updated on what was going on while I walked one or both of the boys back and forth. They had fun and we took a lot of really cool photos. I put them on Facebook this morning. Great guys day with my boys and my friends! We will do that again next year. I want to make it a tradition.


Hope is the answer, always

Today’s Abraham Quote is this.

Daily Law of Attraction Quotation
The Universe is not punishing you or blessing you. The Universe is responding to the vibrational attitude that you are emitting. The more joyful you are, the more Well-being flows to you — and you get to choose the details of how it flows.

I truly believe this is right. The more positive energy you have inside of you the more you are sending out good vibes to everyone around you. I am a very positive person now. I didn’t used to be. I had to hit rock bottom in my life to realize how precious every day is. For some people everyday seems like a miracle.

I have had my bad moments. I have had bad months and a few times I’ve had bad years. Those were the times I was learning so much about myself. The human spirit is full of hope and that is the one thing you can always count on in your life.
Think about how many times you thought a situation was impossible. Especially when you were younger. You would give up or you would stop trying to progress forward. I have learned things may seem impossible but that’s when you become very proactive and push past the barriers. Many times we get in our own way. We negative self talk in our mind and that stops everything.

If you feel stuck in your life, start noticing the negative things you are thinking about. I’ve felt stuck before. I’ve stayed in a situation before that I didn’t want to. Because I was comfortable or I didn’t see anything better than that. I had no idea what was waiting for me.

Never let anybody tell you that you can not do something. For some people that’s like lighting a fire inside of their soul. Oh look out now. Because that’s probably what they needed to get going. And for some people they believe it.

There is always hope inside of you. You have to find it. You have to nurture it. Hope will get you through the bad times. The bad months or years. Hope is something no one can ever take away from you. It’s that feeling of knowing there’s something good.


Hope is a verb. It’s meant to spark action in your life. Never, ever, ever give up hope. Your life is exactly as you live it. That means you are responsible. If you are not happy, get out. If you feel stuck, change. If you aren’t excited about your future, if you are with someone that doesn’t support, listen, or encourage you, leave. You deserve to be happy. It’s in our constitutions.

Read this if you have never read it all the way. Or if you haven’t read it in years. It’s our American foundation. It’s what our entire way of life was built on. Your pursuit of happiness is your destiny. Anywhere there is a heart beating, there is hope. Never forget you deserve to live every minute of the day in happiness and peace.

I love you guys. I hope you feel loved today! It’s going to be a great day!


In Congress, July 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of AmericaWhen in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new guards for their future security — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. — The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our People, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from Punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free system of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislature, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions we have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have we been wanting in attention to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.


PrayforOrlandoHeartborken for ya’ll. I have donated money to 3 different pages. It’s not enough but it’s all I know how to do. Praying for ya’ll!

I love you all. #OrlandoForever



Hate crimes always bring out the crazies. Shame on you Heather. Still praying for you.

Not Jackie, just Samuel 😉

A new comment on the post “#OrlandoForever” is waiting for your approval

Author: Heather (IP:, cpe-098-122-152-005.nc.res.rr.com)
Email: heatherkategrayson@gmail.com
How dare you, Jackie. You insult your own sexuality by claiming you aren’t gay. You insult Vic Urben by pretending that she is a man, because she isn’t feminine- just like you aren’t. You don’t stand with Orlando. You hate yourself and all the people in that club who look and lean the way you do. But at least THEY were out having fun that night. You were alone in your filthy trash hole typing on the internet.
No one would mourn your loss. You don’t deserve to pretend to mourn for anyone, especially a group of people you yourself insult and disown.

Pancakes with some emotional syrup on top

I am deeply entrenched in this self-actualization kick. Deeply. I am always thinking about my words and actions. It’s a conscious thought now and I love it. I want to learn more about myself from someone else’s perspective.
I am not a stereotypical guy at all. Never have been. That’s the one thing I hear a lot from my childhood friends. I was a combo. Strong athletically, not a bragger at all (That came later on Lol) and very sensitive. Kind, sweet, I hear a lot, always very gentle. That’s what a lot of my female childhood friends say. My male childhood friends remember me always being strong, sticking up for everyone even the kids we never hung around with and someone they could really talk to about stuff. All positive things. So I asked my group of misfit friends this morning, what is it that you remember about me that was negative, mean, condescending, or intolerable. It did take a few minutes for someone to say an example so that was great until…
I have an air about me. It’s confidence. I exude confidence probably because I am deeply, completely, utterly self-aware and totally in love with myself. I could literally talk about how much I love myself all day Lol That part comes off both positive and negative. Peyton who has known me the shortest amount of time. So she said she always felt less than while we were dating each other. She said she always paid a lot more attention to what outfit she wore to our group dinners or how her hair and makeup looked. She said she felt less attractive while we dated because of how in shape I am, how I dress, and how I treat everyone around us, even the wait staff, total strangers, or anyone I communicated with. She said she loved to watch me talk or listen to other people because it was a study of psychology for her. One of her favorite classes in college. She said she knew she wasn’t less than but for the first time she was dating someone she was intimidated by but not in a mean or angry intimidation. She said she just felt not good enough and with that insecurity she would act out more by doing or saying things to get my attention and get the focus all on her. She said she didn’t realize it until she analyzed every moment of our 1 month dating life with a bunch of her girlfriends and 4 bottles of wine 2 weekends after I broke up with her Lol She said I don’t realize that people around me probably all feel the way a little and that it’s not necessarily all my fault but I should do a better job of trying not to make everything a 5 star experience and just relax more.

Nice. I took it in and let it process just in time for Lindsay to chime in and say you are smug bastard and the only reason we have gotten on for 20 plus years is because I always have Cheetos and I don’t bullshit her. She said that’s all she had to add pass the bacon Lol

Drew said he always felt protected by me. Not just my size but because I would do the right thing. Even if it meant ratted us out to our folks. He said he knew he would be okay no matter how much trouble we got into because I would always take the blame. Even when I wasn’t even there I would go tell his folks it was all of my fault so he wouldn’t be in that much trouble. He said he felt like he wasn’t able to really develop a sense of self-protection until we finally went our separate ways after college and he had to. He said he felt like we were so joined at the hip that he didn’t really have an identity. He was known as Sam’s friend. Or the tall guy’s bud. He said he felt more of a man and more all on his own the day he got married. And he said right before we both went out to stand at the altar waiting for his bride I made a joke and told him “Well I raised you up best I could, you are all hers now” and we all laughed because it was both truth and honest. He said that was one of the things he would always remember about the wedding day because it wasn’t just his parents giving him up forever, it was me too. And he felt a little scared not having me in his life everyday anymore. He said so it was a good thing we split up after college but he always knew we would be best friends for life based on all of the talks we have had since we were kids. He said you really do feel like half of me and my wife and kids feel like the other half. So there was that Aahhh moment and then we both high-fived and laughed to cover up any tears we both felt might sneak out and embarrass us Lol

Ben said since he has known me a little longer than Peyton he has seen a lot of stress from Lindsay and a lot of stress from me. He said we both are too into our jobs and we do need to relax more as Peyton said. He said he feels like one of the group instantly because no matter if Lindsay invites him or not he feels invited. And he said every time we see each other I give him a man hug. He said some of his own friends he has had for years don’t greet or say goodbye like that and at first it made him a little uncomfortable but he realizes it’s just genuine love and care about him is why I do it. Because I do it with everyone not just women, not just guys, everyone.
Tristan had a lot to say. I will skip most of it because it was complimentary and I wasn’t looking for that. She said she felt like there was always something different about me and that she knew I was being abused but didn’t want to talk to me about it. She said she knew my dad was mean because he would yell at her and her sister a lot even when they weren’t even doing anything. She said she was mad at me for not running away sooner. She said she felt like I got really good at hiding my feelings or covering up things with stories that didn’t tell the full truth but as soon as I left and moved into her house when I was 16 that I wasn’t like that ever again. She said you just said things. She said you were nice about it but even things that people didn’t want to hear, you said them. She said that helped her a lot with dating because I would look after her and her sister when it came to boys. She said the 2 years we had together in her house she liked it because I was a lot nicer than Tyson was Lol She said Tyson’s focus went all on me and the girls both felt that was a big relief because Tyson was actually treating them nicer now that he wasn’t bugging them about everything they did or said. She said she just wishes I would stop being so naive and really figure out why I keep meeting these damsels in distress that need to be saved. Something I hear a lot that I am attracted to women that need or want me to save them.

Tyson said he just remembers all the fun we had as kids and he doesn’t really remember anything mean I ever said to him. He said we never got into a fist fight or had big blowups between us until we were adults. He said he thinks I’m a tease with women though that he has heard that a lot around town that I will be friendly or make friends with women then drop them all of a sudden or stop talking to them. He said he thought I was a player and had been sleeping with every girl who said that about me to him and I said no, I have had sex with 3 women in my whole life. I’m the furthest thing from a player. I explained to him that I get shy when a woman says she likes me and I will push her away immediately because I’m very uncomfortable about that. I said I only like it when I also like the woman and then I will keep in communication regularly. Then I said who said that and he said he’d tell me later but it was a lot.

Drew’s wife said she adores me and that’s why Drew gets mad at her sometimes because she used to compare how he treats her to how I treat her and she said other than that I’ve always welcomed her into the family and made sure she has help with the kids or helps her get Drew to stop being an ass Lol We all laughed at that because Drew really is an ass.

Becky said she just loves being around me because I make silly jokes and I always make sure she’s having a good time. She said she also feels intimidated because of all the money that I have but she thinks I just need to not work so hard now that I have the boys and she hopes I can learn to forgive myself. She said I take things really hard and I need to work on getting to a better place of forgiveness.
It was fun. I was a little offended by some of it naturally but I do really value the opinions of my friends. It’s nice to know that I do have another side because I hear a lot how nice I am. I know I am (See, arrogance coming out) but I’m not nice all of the time. I mostly am. But I have my moments. It’s just very, very rare when anything mean-spirited or even rude comes out of my mouth. Very rare.

So that was our breakfast conversation. I took everyone out on the boat and we had the jet skis out also. We all went for rides and took turns on the jet skis. Now Lindsay and I are making stuff for sandwiches and chips. We are eating light because we are going to go shopping with everyone and I told them there are a bunch of snack places around there so eat light because you will want to buy some mall food.

This is where the competition part of Lindsay and I gets really out of hand. When we take our friends shopping we pay for everything. She keeps her receipts so she can total them up after we get back and let me know that she spent more on our friends than I did Lol She turns it into some sick game of who is buying their love more, me or her. I take the guys with me, she takes the girls and the girls all go into each store as a pack. When it’s time to check out she stands up there like a 4 star Shopping General and herds everyone’s items into their own individual bags, hands it to them, says you’re welcome then slaps down her Visa and grins like a proud Sugar Mama Lol

I take the guys into all the cool stores and we all look at stuff, try on funny hats or just mess around. The guys don’t want me to pay for anything but they kind of do so I tell them Hey I didn’t go all out for your Christmas, get whatever you want on me. That’s when the kid in them goes nuts and we end up buying completely useless and stupid shit that the women pick on us later for.

We all have to go back to the house, try on new clothes do a little fashion show or get our whatever out of the bag, hold it up and explain what it is and why we wanted it. It’s like a giant Adult Show and Tell and Lindsay loves it. She gets so excited when everyone is so happy with their new stuff and she just loves seeing how happy they are to play with it or look in the mirror all day twirling around or checking their ass Lol It’s ridiculous. I really don’t remember when all of this started but I do remember it is always a fun experience. And honestly our friends do not take advantage of this at all. They usually pick out a few things that doesn’t cost that much. It’s mostly stuff they would never buy for themselves. I enjoy going shopping too and I always ask my friends Should I get this? I’ve been wanting it but I don’t know when I would use the darn thing. I almost always end up buying it.

Tonight it’s Meatfest 2016. I am grilling out and we are going to have ourselves a family bbq. Cam is coming over, some of my employees are driving up with Josh. It’s going to be a huge party. I even invited 4 of my neighbors from here. They are bringing side salads which I thought was so sweet.
Time to go chop veggies and get out lunch stuff.

I hope ya’ll are having a great weekend! I really am. It’s so nice having everyone here. I needed this. I didn’t realize it yesterday but I really did need my friends with me this weekend. I’ve been depressed for a few weeks and haven’t wanted to admit it. I’m so happy to get this time with people who I know love me unconditionally and I am so thankful they had the time to come be with us. They all pretty much just dropped everything to be here. I wasn’t seeing it like that yesterday so I feel bad for complaining but I now know Lindsay knew I needed them that’s why she invited everyone. On Earth. Everyone on Earth is at my house. Making a mess and touching my stuff Lol Just kidding.

God loves you and I love ya’ll too!