Did you throw your shirt in a tree?

I have reached the point in raising twins that they don’t think I know anything. They argue with me when I present them with the right answer to their question. They also act like I’m dumb. They finally stopped whispering into each other’s ears when they are trying to figure out how to get out of trouble. The new thing is stand there and assassinate me with their words Lol Heston is not my shy one. He will blast away with whatever is on his mind. He’s good at holding back the big stuff but he eventually lets it out. I got yelled at yesterday because his life is too happy. It’s too fun. He’s always happy and he doesn’t like it.

Huh?

Alex is my social butterfly. He wants to be around people all of the time so they can listen to him talk nonstop. It’s cute and exhausting and I love it. He is so curious and wants to know everything about everything. He’s turning into my reader. Heston will get through a book or text to get it done with so he can go back to doing whatever he wants. Alex will bring books to us and say let me read you this really funny part. He loves it. I love seeing him read.

Twins is not easy at all. I don’t know how I have survived all of these years with them. It was much harder when the were babies. It’s getting easier but this is the part in life where I can really f*** them up if I’m not careful. I need to fill them with confidence, joy, strength of mind, and a sense of adventure. I’m watching when I criticism them, I’m being careful with my words. This is the age they start remembering big moments. I wanted to fill this summer up with so much travel but maybe this is God’s plan for us. Family time. ALL. THE. TIME! It’s not so bad. They can be annoying, I’m sure I can do. But we really have no complaints. Other than Heston getting mad yesterday and throwing his shirt up in a tree. I had to climb up and get it. Then I made him say sorry to the tree Lol He was confused but he did it and then we both laughed. He’s never going to remember that moment. But I will. And that’s what keeps me happy and loving my life.

My twins are turning into little people. It’s so interesting to see how their minds work. I’m doing the best that I can. It looks completely different than other parents but I think I’m doing great.

And no more shirts up in trees. I hope.

Good to be back home

I had a really fun weekend with my son Alex in Denver. Mike and his mom made it up to visit us. The hospital stuff was routine and I’m waiting to find out all of the test results. It usually takes a week or so to hear back. Unless its something bad then I hear back soon.

We did manage to do a little shopping and get him some new toys. Of course we got the same toy for his brother because you know, sharing is caring Lol My daughter got a few things too. Mike’s mom has always been really good about picking out little outfits for her. As long as it’s pink we are fine.

We got home last night just in time for Game of Thrones. Did you guys see that? Wow! The battle was unreal. The dark smoke was a little annoying I had to stop and adjust the brightness on the tv a little. And the last scene. I knew Arya ran off for some reason I just didn’t realize what that reason was.

I’m home. Stephanie came over last night to say hi Lol Well and other reasons. She left early this morning. She’s a lot of fun.

Hope you have a great week!

Healing

Alex is doing a lot better. I took the night off and slept like a rock. I don’t think I’ve slept more than 2 hours a night since Sunday. My kids are on their way here now. I hope this will pick up his spirits a little. He’s eating, he’s doing what he needs to do to heal up. Things all look good and I really hope he is out of ICU later tonight. At the most it will be tomorrow morning. Having him in a regular room is going to be a lot easier.

Big giant sigh of relief. We are getting through this. Scary, heart-breaking, worrisome. It has tested my last fiber of faith. I really was not ready for any of this. It just happened all at once. Isn’t that how life goes, though? I thank God for every moment of this and pray all day long my son gets better soon. God has big things for his life and I can’t wait to get him home. He just wants to be home.

I spent yesterday replying to all of your wonderful messages, prayers, comments. Thank you guys. So many fans have reached out to ask what they can do. We don’t need a GoFundMe page Lol That’s really nice, don’t ever do that for me or my kids. We are fine. We just like positive thoughts, prayers, good wishes. That’s enough. You guys are amazing! I do not want to provide a mailing address so you can send gifts and cards. I really appreciate the sentiment but no thanks. If you want to send an Ecard for him, that will be fun and I can open it first to read it then show him and read it to him. My email is Samuel@NotBatmanYet.com. It’s on the top of the website somewhere I think too.

We are all healing. This year, honestly just kinda sucks for me. It’s like a never-ending something and something else always going on. I knew having kids would be hard but dang. This whole thing is stressing me the f out Lol

Hope everyone has a great day. Thanks again, guys! Love ya’ll!

Update on Alex and many many photos uploaded

Good morning guys. Alex is in ICU now. His surgery went well yesterday. Things are going okay I guess. I have been worried, praying, and trying to stay calm through all of this. Turns out he’s fine, will be fine, and this is just a minor blip in his life that he won’t remember much of. Except for the scar he will have forever. He’s going to be in ICU a few more days than we go to a regular hospital room. From there we have to stay in Colorado for a few weeks. That’s unexpected. We will move him from Denver back to Colorado Springs though as soon as we can. My other kids are in CS with my nannies. I have family here now with me. Lindsay is here but she is leaving later today. She has a business trip she can’t cancel.

If you want to see the photos from all of this hospital stay I just added them to our Family Facebook page. I also spent time overnight uploaded more photos and videos I had. The kids are doing the best they can through everything they have going on. My nannies are amazing and deserve a vacation. A lot of our summer trips are off now. I can’t go anywhere for the next 2 months at least. We are doing all we can to figure out what to do about where to stay. I can keep renting Airbnb places for the family. I can get us in swank hotels. Or I can just buy a house in Colorado Springs, set it up for us and then rent it out or renovate it and sell it later on. All viable options. The best money for me would be to just buy a place. We do like it there. My kids enjoy all of the cool airplane, train, play places. It’s a thought for now and something I need to figure out by the end of today. It takes time to get things going and the more I don’t decide the longer it’s going to take set up somewhere.

My divorce is signed off on from both parties. My soon to be ex threw in a last-minute nuclear bomb that didn’t go off. My lawyers caught it Lol Nice try on that. She got exactly what the pre-nup stated. She got more throughout the marriage and I didn’t argue for any of it back. She kept the car she wanted. She has an apartment now in downtown Chicago and she is still working at her new job. She is not dating anyone. She is in therapy and I hope the best for her. She has asked to come back over and over. Even after we signed the papers. I said I can’t, I won’t, I’m not in love with you anymore. She has told me over and over she’s still in love with me. I’m sorry but I can’t. If you don’t want my kids, you can’t have me. I won’t give them up and I won’t allow someone near them that doesn’t want them.

I’ve made huge mistakes with women. I clearly have no concept of how to find the right one. Dating is not even on my radar. Focusing on my kids, on my life. That’s what I’m doing these days. It’s hard. All of this is very hard on me.

Today I’m hanging out with Alex. Reading to him, letting him watch movies or do whatever he can. He gets restless and wants up. We can’t get up too much right now. They are doing a very wonderful job and after all of this my family foundation will be donating to this hospital. They are so good with him. The other kids will be up tomorrow. I wanted to give him time to just relax. I know they miss him. I know he misses them. It’s going to be so good to see them. I miss having all of my babies with me.

I hope everyone is doing great. I’m barely hanging on here. It’s been very hard emotionally. My support system disappeared at the moment Lindsay showed up so that helped. She goes into To Do List mode and figures out what we need to take care of from hour to hour. She really is what a best friend is all about. Drew is coming out with his kids this weekend. He couldn’t just up and take off work. I understand. He has called a few times everyday for checkups and his wife texts me all day giving me some great advice. They are so good to me.

I will sit here today and get back to all of the messages. I have nothing else going on. While he’s sleeping I can get on my Ipad and do that. I’m sorry I  haven’t been posting much. We have had a very busy and not so great summer. I haven’t even gotten into all that has gone on. I’m not ready yet. I will as soon as I can. I’m trying to stay positive and get myself in a better place. It’s all been so overwhelming but I know God would never put too much on me.

I will try to update more. Be sure to check out our photos. You will see Alex in his hospital room after surgery so if that makes you a little uncomfortable don’t click on that album I made that says Denver Hospital 2018. There are only 5 photos in there and 1 video. I did an update video this morning to send to family and decided to upload it on there too. I look tired because I am tired. I sound tired because I’m spent. I haven’t been sleeping much. I refuse to leave him so I’ve had clothes and things brought in. It’s been hard. All good things now though.

Life is getting better. Finally!

They are 2 and I’m getting old

Yesterday was our small family birthday party for my twins Heston and Alex. It’s still too soon to have a bunch of people in our home with Talon so we are waiting to do a bigger party for them in March with all of our family and friends. Because of the way Talon came into this world being sick my wife said we are holding everyone off to come meet him for a month. Whatever she wants to do I’m fine with. She knows best.

I was dressed in my Batman suit because it was a full on Batman party. I’m not going to be dressed up on the next party Lol No way. I realized how hard it is to sit down in that thing and it takes forever to get it on and off. I had to have help getting out I had sweated so much it felt glued on. However…

My boys loooooooved it. That’s the first time they’ve seen me in it. I have put it on a few times for my wife (Don’t ask Lol) and that’s been it. It still fits, which is amazing after how much we all ate during the winter. I’m happy to know it’s still in pretty good shape after all of these years. The hard part today is I have to clean it all up and that takes about an hour.

We had vegan cake, regular cake, ice cream, vegan ice cream, and an assortment of snacks. I took my boys out for a special birthday surprise. We got to meet some Super Heroes at a book event that just so happen to be on their birthday. They won’t know it was just a book event and not part of their actual party so we won’t tell them that until they are older. I got a ton of photos with a lot of the characters holding or behind my boys. It was really cool that when I said hey it’s their birthday today they all let me take photos with everyone. I had to buy 4 books but that’s fine because I like to read that type of book anyway. The other 3 copies will be mailed off to friends.

Seeing how much my boys have grown up, it’s crazy. I remember them being tiny little guys and how scared I was to even change the first diaper. I always felt like I was going to hurt them when I held them wrong or if I wasn’t sure how to hold them up on my shoulder the first few times. Now I just whip right through all of it with no problems. I was all alone when they were born. I had no wife, no girlfriend, no plan. Just me and my boys. Now I have a family for them. I have contact with their birth parents which is so important for me and them. We know their medical history and we also pretty much know what they will look like as they grow up. I’m so happy my amazing little boys are living a happy, stable, life. I’m doing my best everyday for them to make good choices and not get overwhelmed. I’m very patient with my kids and even when they are screaming bloody murder and I’m getting mad I keep my head cool and remember they are just little kids.

The hardest part for me about having twins is when I’m giving attention to one the other wants in on it and I try to balance that. I don’t know how to do it other than just try to keep focus one at a time when needed. Honestly most of the time my boys are either with me or they are near me. They really don’t leave my side that much during the day now. I love it. I don’t like the WWE style beatings they dole out on each other but I know that’s just boys. I remember my brother and I duking it out when we were little and it was a constant whooping that he would get Lol But I always hugged him later and said sorry. I know they will be best friends their entire lives. I want them to remain close to each other and close to us. I don’t care how old any of my kids are, they will always be my babies and even now when I’m out-of-town I make sure I call home a few times a day because I want to and I want to know how everyone is doing.

I love my boys so much. It’s indescribable how much I love my kids. I tell them everyday several times a day I love them and they are finally getting to say it back. They are smart. Man, are my boys smart. They will be smarter than me someday I know that for sure. I want to provide a happy home. I want my wife and I to continue to nurture them, teach them, but also let them figure things out on their own. I will always be here for my boys. Always. I know my family and friends will be too. I’m so happy things are going great. I know that my wife loves them with all of her heart and when we go back to the States for summer vacation she is seriously wanting to adopt all of the kids. She was the one that chose not to. I asked her to adopt but she said no. Then she realized that she is their mom. She feels it, she wants it, and I’m happy she figured it out. I knew she would eventually. I even told her when they all turn 18, go ahead and adopt them. I know that her hesitation was about me and my past and nothing to do with not wanting my kids. I have proven over and over I have changed and I am making better choices. I have proven my complete dedication only to her and I have given her no reason at all to worry about me and other women. Those days are done. Thankfully I got all of that out of my system before my kids were here. I have calmed down, I’m a lot nicer, and I really try hard to be thoughtful. She sees all of that. She said I really am her soul mate and these kids belong with us both in Heaven. She’s taking care of whatever legal steps we need to do and I will happily sign any paper to give her rights to my babies. I trust her with my kids. I trust if we get a divorce we will split custody (And that will be in any new paperwork Lol) but I also know that I will work with her. My kids are our kids and I’m doing my best to make sure everyday she feels like their mom. I think having Talon sealed it for her. Knowing we have a child together, knowing the best thing is to keep all of the siblings together. God forbid anything happens to me, I do want all of my children together. I knew Lindsay would always have them together and that’s why she was in my papers to take custody. She said she’s happy to give them up to my wife, but she also had an hour-long conversation where my wife said Lindsay basically told her if she visits and sees the kids in disarray she’s stealing them and taking them to Mexico Lol I’m pretty sure she means it. My wife just laughed but I got a pang in my heart like Oh god she would do it.

My boys, wow. 2 years old! We made it to 2 and I haven’t lost my mind yet.

Happy Birthday Heston William! Happy Birthday Alexander James! I love you with all of my heart and I hope we made your 2nd birthday very special! Long Live Batdad!

 

#Cubs win, of course

Last night my wife and I had a double date at the Cubs game. We met up with one of her sisters and the brother-in-law. Nice couple. I like them. We are all still getting to know each other but her sister pulled me aside and told me that my wife just gushes about me constantly. I guess I’m good at this marriage thing. She also said she’s very happy for her sister and that she just loves the boys. She’s excited about our little baby Cooper coming up in January and I’m glad to hear it. My wife talks to her family members daily. They are always texting or on the phone. I love they are so close. I hope I’m as close with my kids as they grow older. Her parents send texts. They haven’t mastered Facetime yet but they will learn. Very good people. Her family has just welcomed us in like we belonged to them forever. I was nervous the first time she took me to a birthday party and we were making our official debut to her family. It went great and it was a lot of fun. I’m usually wanting to leave those kind of things after a half hour. I have a lot of things to get done and I really am not used to just hanging out just to hang out. At least not at a party I wasn’t hosting. I pop in. That’s what I’m trying to say. I’m a pop in guy. Hey, great party, oh food. Happy (Insert whatever kind of congratulations here) this was great, I need to get going. That’s me. Not anymore.

The cubs won 3 to 1. Didn’t even need the bottom of the 9th. Looking good but still floating below where they should be. It’s early but time does go fast in baseball. The Astros are looking strong this season. Have you seen their record? Wow. 1st in the AL West. They are a team to watch. We all had a great time and I drug home even more Cubbie gear for everyone. They always have new stuff. I can’t help it. We are a Cubs family.

Tonight I’m taking the nannies, all 3 of them, and my boys to the game. It’s going to be beautiful weather. Perfect for my boys to be outside for hours. I’m aware we most likely are going to have to leave early OR we are going to end up holding 2 sleeping boys by the end of it. I want my boys to get experiences in crowds, to learn how to stay near Daddy and to listen. I also want them exposed to baseball. It’s a great sport and I’m an avid fan. The nannies have been group chat texting about their outfits for 3 days now. Like I care. Just throw on a Cubs tshirt and let’s go. How is that hard to decide. I guess it’s because it’s a huge place to meet guys (That are half drunk btw) and with all 3 of my nannies single I’m going to be saying, Don’t talk to that guy a lot Lol They make me feel old. They also make me watch them more than I watch the game. Someone is always hopping up to go somewhere. Last time Brandi was literally holding a hot dog and said she needed a hot dog as soon as a guy she wanted to approach went by. It was ridiculous. Women!

We are now at the half way point of the year and I’m leaning on Lindsay more to take over things. She is learning very fast and trying to get all of her Mexico business passed off to the 4 people that she is going to push it off on. I have 6 more months of this working career before I retire. I’m taking a break. I need one. I have kept my foot on the gas pedal for almost 10 years now. It was really hard in the beginning. It was just me and my secretary from Nebraska, Shelly starting out. She had all of the faith and I had none of it. She kept encouraging me to hang in there. Even when I lost deal after deal after deal. I’m so thankful I listened to her. I wanted to quit a dozen times but she told me the only way up is through. She was right. I’m excited or it to end. I’m also excited about cashing the checks I get each month for my ownership. It will be nice not working and still getting paid. Perfect timing too because our baby is due in January. God has blessed me so much. I almost feel like I don’t deserve this much good stuff.

I had won 2 tickets to go see the movie the Mummy at a preview event. I gave those tickets to my wife. She’s taking a coworker. I didn’t want to see it. It doesn’t even look that good but she said Ooohhh Tom Cruise so that was easy to give away. I know they will have fun tonight. She said movie previews are usually packed. Thanks again to NBC Chicago for hooking me up. I appreciate the tickets. They are going to get good use and the theater will be making money off of my popcorn, snack, soft drink loving wife Lol She always has to get the biggest combo they have then doesn’t even finish half of it. And doesn’t take it home to finish later. She says she thinks she wants more than she actually does.

Tonight’s Cubs game will also be a winner and I pray my boys enjoy it. It’s always Alex that has the issues. He just doesn’t like to sit still very long. Heston will sit on my lap and munch on his food with no problems. The girls usually have to take Alex to walk around a few times. That’s my boys. Identical and completely different. I’m so glad they are mine. We are a perfect fit. I love my family. I really do!

I hope ya’ll are having a good start to your work week. I will update more tomorrow. Have a good one!

Year 1: An Open Letter to my Sons

This is how our journey began:

http://www.notbatmanyet.com/2016/02/are-you-ready-for-this-kind-of/

I go back and read that post often. To see if I’m keeping all of my promises.

Dear Heston and Alex,

Today is your very first birthday and I can not wait to spend this entire day with both of you. It is 5:30am and I could not bare to sleep anymore. I am so excited for your special day.

Since I found out you both existed I knew that God was leading you into my arms. All that I had worked for, all that I had wanted in my life has always been for you. I said “I will take them” and those 4 words changed my life more than I have ever known.

As you have grown the last year I have documented all of your big and small moments both with the camera and with memory. Your baby books are filling up fast. They don’t mean anything to you right now but someday they will. We will sit on the couch together and laugh at all of the things I found so very important from last year.

I promised your birth mom to protect you both with my life, to love you and make you into good people, good men. I’m still working on that. You have meant more to me than I can ever find the words for. Your distinct personalities have been such a surprise to me as well as how much you two look exactly alike. I have always tried to treat you both equally and with compassion. I love you Heston as much as I love you Alex. You are the light in my life. You are my entire world. Everything I thought I knew wasn’t nearly enough before you came into my life.

Because of you boys I am a brand new man. Today we celebrate your 1st birthday. And your step-mom and I get the honor of showing you both off with such pride and honor. We all get to look back at your first birthday photos later on in life but today, I just want to focus on your wants and needs. Your happiness means everything. Keeping you safe and healthy has been equal to making sure you are having fun and learning new things daily. Your nannies, Sarah, Brandi, and Heather love you as much as I wanted them to. They have helped me every single day and have been there for both of you through everything. They are my tribe. And I could not have raised you through Year 1 without you.

I pray you have a wonderful day. Daddy has done all I can to make it a fun and happy day. I hope you have a great time with your enormous, loving family. Daddy wants that foundation to always be a priority for all of your lives. I need you both to know how much I love you. Daddy will always give you both my last piece of food if you want it. And that’s saying a lot because as you know Daddy doesn’t share food!

I love you Heston.

I love you Alex.

May God bless you both with 100 plus more years of this amazing life we are all building together.

Love,

Daddy

Birthday party or social event?

Thanks to Lindsay’s email and now Facebook page she created our small family get together has turned into a bigger party than I expected. We have ordered more food and drinks, more cake, and more seats and tables. Thanks a lot Lindz! She said each year will only get bigger so be ready. I hope not. I’m at work looking over everything and still trying to get through all of my To Do’s for tonight. We are leaving after supper to go up to the lake house because all of our family portraits are done and up. My wife wants to go see them. Fine by me. Because if they are not what we want on display we will yank them all down before everyone can see them. The proofs looked good but it always looks different when you blow photographs up.

The next few days will be all about the family and hosting them so I won’t get to update for a few days. I pray everyone has a great weekend and enjoys the rest of today. Wish me luck. It sounds like this birthday party is turning more into a social gathering. Geez.

God loves you and I love ya’ll too!