Edit your heart out Mr. Pencil

Hey #Batfans! This week the red pencil of doom is my best friend. Okay, not really. I’m editing a book. I don’t want to. My girlfriend doesn’t want me to. My kids don’t care. I have a deadline and I have to get this task done. It’s frustrating and a thankless task. My publisher is on my rear end wanting this done by a certain date. I laughed. He didn’t. I laughed louder. He told me to get it done. I have been working on it.

Last night at our weekly family meeting a few things was finally decided. Sarah is going to go to Texas to be with her family shortly before her baby is born. After a month or so she will come back and begin the search for a nursing job. Brenda is going to stay with me until I no longer need her. I told them I want to try around June 1st to do all of this alone. If I can maybe a little sooner but it all depends. Sarah and Brenda have fully moved into the guest house and love it. There is room for a baby if Sarah comes back. I really don’t think she will but of course she is always welcome. Her ex David is not in the picture and his only request is for a DNA test once the little girl is born. On that heavy of a topic we ended that with a few girl name suggestions. Sarah did not like any of the names I picked out because she said they sound “too white”. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be offended by that. She wants a more afro-centric name or a family name somewhere from her parents. So Samantha is officially off of the table I guess Lol

I am taking my family on a Mexican cruise for our Spring Break this year. We will do 4 fun filled days on a cruise ship. It’s going to be a lot of fun. Our neighbor Gabby is going to join us. She’s bringing her sister so we will have extra adults to help me with the kids. We also hammered out all of the details for my trip to Napa, California this weekend. I have to go out and attend to a little vineyard business. This is a business we invested in years ago and it’s not making any money. Lindsay wants her money back or she wants me to gut all of the employees but the 2 that actually run things and make the wine. The other 4 employees are my cousins. They haven’t done much and it’s time they move on. They know it’s coming but they still think they can talk me out of it. I’m bringing my boys with me so they can play and see what a vineyard is. I really hope the weather is going to be nice. My weather app says Friday and Saturday 69 degrees. I will take that. Lindsay is coming back to the States from Australia. She did her yearly jaunt for 30 plus days to visit family, hang out, and enjoy a vacation. She will be meeting me in Napa so we can decide what to do. At this point I may just throw a damn For Sale sign on the place and move on. I don’t know how to run a vineyard. As romantic as it all sounds, I can’t do it. I don’t want to do it. We will be making some tough decisions soon.

And finally, the boys are doing great in school. Peace is doing great at home all day. I put her in a class for dancing. She LOVES IT! It’s just basic dance moves, not ballerina. It’s mostly just giving her some social time and something to do. I bought her a few outfits from the little store they have inside of the dance class. She runs around the house in her little skirts. I think this is exactly what she needs. This coming fall she will go into a pre-k situation. I’m not sure yet where or what it will be but she will begin her schooling. Pudge, my baby Sky, is eating nonstop. She’s starting to roll and can sit up with support for a short amount of time. I can’t believe how fast this is all going. She was my little frog just a few months ago now she’s a full on Pudge. I love having her home all day with Peace. When we go to the class all the moms fuss over her. It’s very cool.

How are you guys doing? I’m good. I have a girlfriend now. We are going to be getting together soon. I have a thing to do in Detroit, so we will meet for lunch and if she has time a dinner date also. There is a huge possibility she will be heading back to Denver soon for a week or two. I hope that trip comes soon. I would love to have her here again. It makes things much easier.

If you haven’t already, please check out my 2 podcasts. The #VeganSam one is still rocking and rolling. And my new one #TheSoultoLife is just getting off the ground. I hope everyone has a wonderful week and be kind.

Kobe, Gigi, and the others, we miss you. God bless your life, your souls, and your families. You were so loved.

You can’t fire her, she doesn’t work for us Lol

Edit:

I just went off later on down in this post, so hold on to your hats. I didn’t mean for it to go in that direction, but some times, it just does. Enjoy Lol

So far the book tour is going great. We went to NYC first and had a very surprising and great opening event. We had more than 150 people there. It didn’t seem like that many but most of them got their books, took their photos and left. We had maybe 25 to stay for the Q & A session. I love it when people ask Lindsay questions she won’t answer and they stand there silently waiting for her to say something. She just looks at them and says nothing. I always feel like I need to jump in and say she’s not going to answer that Lol She told me not to because people like that need to learn. I don’t know what that means but I don’t agree. The people were so nice. We only had 2 very rude people and they were both walked out of the store with no book. I do understand that my book is not a thriving tale of humanity however it’s my story and my life experience. You pretty much already know what it’s about before you even meet me so either be nice or get kicked out. Lindsay did tell one lady that was being rude that she was fired and to get out. The lady said you can’t fire me and I said she doesn’t work for us, she said yes she does, she just paid me as an author, that’s her money in my pocket so I can get rid of her. It was hilarious. The other people standing nearby that heard it just laughed and I walked away trying not to stay pissed.

Doing the actual book signings with Lindsay are fun because she starts picking on everyone in a nice way. She asks why the hell did you buy HIS book Lol That gets them laughing or smiling and then she says WHY ONLY 1 of MY BOOK!!! They just laugh. One guy told her she should be an auctioneer because she could heckle people into spending more. She said that’s what her boyfriend was for but thanks. Well actually she said Kthanks, but I wasn’t going to write that.

From New York we went to beautiful Miami. The weather there was MUCH better since we had just gone through a mess up north. We had a very chill and happy book event. The Q & A ran over because we were all having such a good time. The combined our books with 1 other author of a similar subject and all 3 of us fielded questions. The guy knew who we were, had read both of our books, and said he was apprehensive about combining the events. Wait, I just took 4 tries at how to spell combining Lol My brain is not working yet, it’s too early in the morning I guess for me. Thank goodness for spellcheck on this WordPress.

The questions were pretty funny and we were all hamming it up a bit. The jokes are always the same but Lindz and I get in such a rhythm with it we come off as an opening act for a D list comedian. We are funny but not hilariously funny. It helps that Lindsay is so quick-witted.

We left there and went across the street to get something to eat. A few fans followed us and ate with us. It was nice to just sit and relax. We got to hear what people were really thinking about the entire tv show and how much they are surprised on how fake it is.

I have not watched at all this season. It’s not interesting and once you realize it’s a scripted show WITH writers and producers that come up with the scenarios to get their paid reality “actors” to talk about, you realize it’s not real. Meri even told me it’s not really real. It’s a clean version of the truth. Well to me that’s no being real and it’s not even reality. She said the producers pick scenes out and then put the appropriate people in place and say Go. Then they just have to have their conversations and get filmed. Half of the show is canned in editing. The other half they mix together. That’s why you see Robyn’s hair color change 2 or 3 times per show Lol They film things months apart sometimes.

From what I heard Meri and Kody are still in a loveless marriage, nothing has changed. In fact the viewers I talked to said they feel it’s all getting worse. They still have no idea what Kody does for a living and when I explained he has 3 working wives who go earn and his job is to sit down with Janelle once a week to spend the money and allocate it out, that’s all he does. He runs around Las Vegas having “meetings” with people and none of it pans out. They were even looking at a storefront on the Las Vegas strip a few years ago to open up a store and I just laughed. I told Meri that they don’t have enough product to put in there and it was a waste of money. She must have listened because so far, no storefront anywhere.

I guess she bought the old home she was trying to get me to buy for her years ago. I made a few phone calls to inquire who owned it and I told her back then it was for sale at the right price but that I wasn’t interested because it’s not a good investment at all. It’s not going to make enough money to merit its being owned by me or by her. I don’t think she could afford it at the time anyway because she used to cry on the phone to me that she only had $300 left in her checking account. That was shocking to learn but then I realized she doesn’t get her paycheck from the show does, Kody does. He and Janelle dole out the “allowances” for each wife on a monthly basis and only emergencies or unexpected expenses get taken care of. I was shocked to learn that. Why don’t each one get their own paycheck? I mean they have to pay taxes personally each year. The douchebag does not do joint tax filing with anyone but Robyn. Why can’t Meri just have the money she earned? That’s not how polygamy is. If you earn money, you have to get it to the man. He takes it and decided how much you get back. It’s pretty much a Ponzi scheme. The more you can earn on your own, the less you get because the mentality is, you will go earn more for yourself next month. That’s how it was explained to me. I think that’s bs and I really hope she leaves him soon. I was surprised to hear that she’s still there but not at all surprised to learn she has a new boyfriend named Rick up in Utah Lol And people wondered why she bought a business up there. Probably for the cover story of I’m going to check on my business…..uhhhhhh I mean go date and sleep with Rick. I can’t wait for the tabloids to hit that and then everyone will stop calling ME the bad guy. Last I talked to her, she was miserable and upset. Again. I told her sorry to hear it. That was all I had to say to her. I am sorry that her marriage is done and she still tries to pretend she’s apart of that family. She is not helping raise any kids. She didn’t even get invited to see one of the boys come home. How messed up is that? Do you guys realize now, everything I’ve said for 2 and a half years now is the truth? She’s not married. They never had a spiritual wedding or anything AFTER they got the divorce. They are not sealed to each other anymore. It’s over with. So why does she stay?

She has nowhere to go. Where is she going to go? She got nothing in the divorce. No assets. Douchebag’s name is still on HER HOUSE. So she can’t sell it and take all of the money. She also can’t sell it because no one wants to life in between a cult and a 50-year-old fat guy with comb over patchy bowling flop hair running in between homes, or 18 kids running around the yards. She can’t move back to Utah because according to what I hear they are in “fear of arrest” Lol Come on. Could that show get anymore fake? None of them have ever been in fear of actual arrest. They do that kind of thing for ratings. Just like the whole FAKE catfish story. It’s all fake to get ratings. It worked, it got a whole bunch of people to go OH NO, I need to watch to see if they get arrested. The truth is, it’s a ploy. They trick viewers into believing one thing to sell their agenda. The agenda is this is a normal, happy family, they just happen to have 4 wives.

The truth of that show is that they have 1 husband that’s completely selfish, arrogant, and generally doesn’t care. His grammar is worse than mine but at least I don’t sit here and make up long words. Lol As you guys know I struggle to remember how to spell combining. His first wife wants to be with him and he could care less. He wouldn’t have more babies with her, has to attend therapy any time she wants to talk to him Lol The second wife is out of shape but selling you all tips on how to start to get into shape. Not actually getting in shape. We heard of tabloids boasting about her amazing weight loss and when I asked the viewers at lunch if she had lost any weight they just laughed and said no. So again, Janelle is in a deep emotional, non-verbal coma and completely clueless of what goes on beyond her sofa and tv shows. Christine is the conductor on some crazy train going to loony toons. Everyone told me they think she does things to get attention and I said no she does things to get HIS attention because he doesn’t pay attention to her at all. She acts like that so that he has to talk to her and tell her to calm down. Then we have poor Robyn. According to what we heard she was in such fear of arrest she didn’t go protest with the family. That’s unity, right? She runs the entire family from her tater tot castle and doles out what everyone needs to do to get along. They all come to Robyn who is now 6 years into this family, instead of going to Meri who emotionally checked out years before I met her. Robyn is the favorite. Meri told me that. It’s easier for her to get along with Kody because he doesn’t hide how much he loves and adores her. She is the one that he confides in and it’s really Robyn that runs things, not Kody. She says she’s an equal part but that’s a bigger lie than when she was on the 3 way call with Kendra listening in to me talk and flipping out right after the call ended, then reversed all of that and jumped on the I’m a fake person bandwagon. Kendra told Lindsay that the other day and I was not surprised. Robyn is full of s*** and the more you step back to look at the situation the more you see what an opportunist she is. She was broke, living and working far below her wants and she met a guy who promised her the world from the first date. She had someone who could help her financially take care of her and her 3 kids who she was left to raise. Some women do that. They settle for the guy that steps up. The only problem is he wasn’t stepping up as a family man. He was stepping up as a horny old fart who saw a semi-attractive female with an eating disorder who needed love. If you really think they waited 6 months to have sex and be married think again Lol That show is as fake as his poor dying hair cells. If you don’t watch it, good. If you do, enjoy the last season because they just got replaced. Polygamy can work with the right mindset. It can’t work with zero leader and patriarch who actually wants a real family. Not just 18 little tax deductions. And that guy actually said that. I have my kids because in my heart I have always wanted each and every one of them. I would never insult their existence by calling them a tax deduction. I also wouldn’t go on Twitter and tell some woman to Can it and call her a Jack wagon. That’s how he treats strangers, you can start imagining the abuse he doles out to his “wives”, I mean his wife Robyn and his 3 mistresses.

I’m happy for Meri and Rick. I hope Rick gets her away from that douchebag Kody.

I’m happy to be in Cleveland today and be at 2 book signing events. It’s not really good weather here so we won’t be expecting a huge crowd but I will be happy to buy ANYONE that shows up some coffee because the book store we are in has a coffee bar Lol That’s a little incentive to get you down to see me. Come on down Cleveland, FREE COFFEE!

I’ve ranted enough today. My wife will be pissed when she reads this, thankfully the time difference will delay her reading it Lol

Have a good one!

You’ve got Mail, Well actually You’ve got Newsletter

All of my Batfans please check your email accounts or Dm’s because I finally finished sending out my Book Tour dates, locations, and times to you all. It took me 2 days to get it out there. I will be returning to some of the same cities and this time we added some new ones. It’s going to be a fun 2 weeks and I’m looking forward to meeting or seeing ya’ll again soon!

My fans have always shown me respect and love. They have believed me from the beginning and a lot of former trolls have come to the right side after much debate. I’m happy to meet you guys, hang out a little bit, and see what you think of Lindsay’s book.

All 3 of our books will be on sale for all of you to purchase. We will autograph them and personalize each copy. Please be patient if we have a line. Most people come just to meet Lindsay since she is truly a character and a half. She can be entertaining just signing the books. She generally hates all human beings so this isn’t her favorite thing to do but she does like to make money and that’s why she’s sitting there.

I’m really excited to see what questions I get this time around. I realize I’m going to end up repeating the same answers from city to city but my hope is this time people start to realize that all of the answers are right here on this blog. You can read the entire story.

I’m not happy leaving my family for 2 weeks however with my family coming into town and my wife’s family coming into town the week after to meet Talon and visit the kids it’s the perfect time on our calendar.

See you guys soon! I love ya’ll very much. God bless!

U.S. Book Tour starting in March!

I will be starting a 10 city U.S. tour on March 5th 2018 in New York City!

I’m excited to get back to the States for a few weeks and hang out with everyone. This new book tour has been a debate for the past 4 months. I did not want to do it. Then the book stores sent me a contract to do the same type of thing I’ve always done. Show up, sign books, take photos or videos and do about an hour Q&A right after. Well I already know how to do that. The money isn’t the best part. The cities that I am booked for is the sole reason I want to go through this all over again. I’m going to be able to visit family and friends as well as check up on all of our business dealings. I’m happy to not be working however I know it’s smart to still keep a close eye on things. I’ve been overwhelmed with baby Talon for the past few weeks I’m starting to realize there is more to my life than hanging out with my kids 24/7. I need to get back out into the world and do what I do best, offer myself up to my fans and gain experiences.

The debate part came in with the WHEN would I go on tour and what dates would work for our family. My wife said she does not want to join me. She showed up at a few of my signings but only walked out with me when we left. She was never a part of the actual event. She prefers not to join in and I don’t blame her with the subject matter at hand.

To answer the question I get a lot, yes she has read the book. No she wasn’t thrilled about it but she said it’s raw and real. She feels like she has a better understanding of who I am and likes it showed my loyalty to my relationship at the time. She does not like me becoming a target of bullies. That’s part of it. When you get famous, you have to deal with it. I believe I have done a great job because I have Lindsay to handle all of the negative stuff. She has been my warrior. To come from as much bullying as I was taking daily down to the very few comments I see here and there, we have changed a lot of minds. The only questions left is Why did Meri lie? There are so many good reasons for that.

When we launch the book tour the next version of my books (Yes both) will be available. You will have more updated info, more stories, more everything. I’m proud of re-working the content to make it more into an actual real book. Remember as I said from the beginning, I’m not an author. I’m not a writer either. I’m just a nice guy who was lead to believe I could end up with the girl during some very hard circumstances. She told me the whole time her marriage was over and technically she was legally divorced so I believed her. I didn’t realize at the time she was just a bored and lonely housewife that was practically abandoned and then left to live right next door to the families she no longer felt welcomed in. I didn’t know that until after it was all over. If I had that kind of insight I never would have pursued the relationship after she continued to contact me and asked for me over and over to call her. I didn’t know. That’s what love does, it blinds you to reality and makes you believe one set of circumstances that don’t always add up.

Now that I know how much of a liar she is and how she will never tell the real truth about us, okay. I feel good about sharing my side. I feel bad for the women that still think I’m a girl, still try to label me Jackie and still think they know what really happened. How could they? They weren’t there. They were not a part of any of it. All they do is make comments and twist the truth. Some of them have become obsessed with all of this and have even had legal fights to try to one up each other Lol How lame is that? Grow up, ladies. Seriously. Learn how to block and ignore and here’s an idea, Move On. None of you were a part of any of this. Trying to claim your piece of it because you think you know something? How many more times do you need to be proven wrong? It’s kind of ridiculous. That’s the part my wife can’t stand. She hates that so much negative comes near our quiet, peaceful world and she likes that Lindsay has always been quietly in the background taking care of them one by one. Sometimes 3 at a time though Lol She’s pretty good at what she does.

So my book tour will start soon. My kids will be busy visiting with family that will be arriving soon. I’m getting out-of-town on the 2nd day that everyone will be in town. That will be fun for them. My boys’ birth mom and her parents are coming for their visit. They are staying a whole week and this time they are actually staying IN our home. They never do that. I think it’s because the boys are a little bit older now. I’m so shocked as I see my baby cousin’s photos on her Facebook these days. She looks great and every once in a while she will have the exact same smile or look on her face that one of my boys gets. It’s so cool she has continued to make them a part of her life. College is going great for her. I do still send photos and videos to their birth dad any time he asks. He said he doesn’t want to come to Paris but next time I bring them to the States he wants to see if he can come visit. I offered to pay for his trip this time and he was offended. I didn’t mean to offend him I just told him how cool it would be for him to come hang out with all of us. I also understand it’s always going to be a sensitive topic for him and I need to just let him suggest how to deal with this. I don’t always have the right answer. I’m learning that. Finally.

How is everyone doing? I am finally getting time today to write back. We LOVE Paris. Talon is perfect. Growing like a weed. To answer the latest most asked question that I saw over and over in my messages, Yes that was really my son in the video. Yes he had a car seat it’s right behind him to his left on the video. No it’s not broken Lol My goodness, people. When my wife took Alex into the store she unhooked Heston so he could walk around a little because he was throwing a fit being stuck in the truck while his brother got to go somewhere without him. Anyone with 2 small kids or more understands that. The truck isn’t really a truck that’s just what we have always called it. It’s a huge SUV exactly like an Escalade with 3rd row seating. So my wife was sitting next to Heston, that’s why there’s no car seat there. I was sitting next to Alex in the row of seats in front of them and our security was in the front driving, and well securing. Heston is a huge ham and loves to make videos.  He had his Buzz Lightyear and said Daddy do me. Which means do his video for him. As he was chatting away I had him do small messages to the people I like on Twitter. I thought it was a nice gesture and no one has seem ANY of my kids before then. There was a baby photo of them as they were “born” that a troll passed along to everyone claiming I sent it to her Lol HAHAHAHA. You all know I don’t do that, especially with trolls. Why would I? Ridiculous how illogical these women are. He made his little messages at my direction, I uploaded them to my Twitter and we broke the internet. Okay we didn’t break anything but we did PROVE to a lot of people, I am real, my son (At least one of them) is real and that I am still in control of everything that has to do with myself or my family. You don’t know how many messages I got from Trolls and former trolls as they call themselves saying Thank you and I’m sorry. The I’m sorry messages I did reply back to, the thanks yous I did not. I forgive all of them. I have to. They are so ignorant they don’t realize how dumb they sound. Those are the type of people you just have to feel sorry for and also stay away from. They are leaches on the people around them. They don’t know what they don’t know yet they will argue to the death it seems to prove something.

How can any of you prove anything about me when you have never met? Also the one person that you all claim I am, Jackie, will not cash in on the HUGE amount of tabloid, NBC, Dr. Phil, or any other type of paying interview she has been offered? Why wouldn’t she go for the cash grab? Because she has moral integrity and knows that NONE of this even matters in her life. She looks like Lindsay. Period. She has never met Meri. Never even been to Las Vegas and was working in an office the entire time she was supposedly running around Vegas with a friend. All of that she has proven. Further more the one insane, line-crossing, horrible troll that continues to harass everyone and cause problems tried to sue Jackie for a Temporary Restraining order Lol How nuts is that? And what happened? The sheriff went out to Jackie’s mom’s rental property that they own and have owned for more than 20 plus years. The sheriff was let into the home and saw that no one but the renter lived there, 1 person, and went back to the court and told the judge that she doesn’t live there, there is zero proof in the entire county that she lives there and it was dismissed. A judge and a sheriff said on court record she doesn’t live in Oklahoma, yet this insane woman continues to say she does Lol That’s how f***ed up and mentally deranged she is. That’s when most of the harassment finally stopped. When that happened late last year and we found out about it from the trolls, that’s when things changed.

Jackie has lived in Dallas for years. She lives with her husband and 3 boys. She works full-time, her husband works full-time and they are living their dream. She is such a sweet and nice person. I wish Lindsay was more like her Lol But Lindsay is not Jackie, Jackie is not Lindsay, I’m not either one. I’m Sam. A male! Obviously. Anyone that continues to say otherwise is a liar and just ignore them. They are only trying to get a reaction and it never works. I don’t reply. I text or message Lindsay and she handles it. The ones that are most vocal now are all of the ones that have had their accounts locked up. Lindsay even got a guy’s Periscope channel removed for running his mouth. She will continue to protect me and continue to be a really good friend to me. Lindsay is the definition of loyal.

And that’s why she will be on the book tour with me. It’s the main reason my wife is letting me go. She knows Lindsay will handle anything that comes up and make sure I don’t get into any trouble. Let’s hope Lol

I’m happy to meet all of the folks that come to my book tour stops. I’m happy to take photos with you answer any nice questions you have. I realize that it’s going to be the exact same questions at each city. This time I’m used to it. Lindsay will be there also promoting her book. It should be a lot of fun. I will be away from home for 13 days and I’m not excited about that but it’s a good time to go. My kids will have so much family in town they won’t even miss me.

Hope everyone is having a great week. My wife is doing great. She loves holding Talon. She loves it. She has already said she wants another baby with me. I’m fine with that. We had already discussed having another one. After we adopt another girl.

And speaking of that I’m beginning beckoned to the living room to go feed everyone. Time to cook! Have a great day guys! I will update more very soon.

I will start my book tour in New York city and then we will go to:

Other cities include:

Miami

Cleveland

Pittsburgh

Chicago

Salt Lake City

Dallas

Oklahoma City

San Fransisco

Las Vegas

Book Tour finished, can I go home now?

I do not like to be out-of-town away from my wife and kids. Lindsay can confirm that because of all of my complaints on the topic. I just miss them too much. I want to know what my boys are doing, how Peace is doing and if my wife needs me. She had the entire week off so she could finally bond and take care of Peace. She was really struggling the first 3 weeks not being able to be home like she wanted. I really think she finished her court case with a bang to make sure she could stay home and have a vacation. She deserved it. I mean I did sort of surprise her with this adoption. I surprised everyone, even myself. As a family we pulled it together and now we are in a routine. That helps a lot.

Yesterday we made it to our first book signing in Cleveland. Man what a nice crowd. I was expecting a troll or two but there weren’t any at all. I love that all of my events have been troll-free. Well except that one. People do ask me questions and I do my best to explain things. I am always honest and own my part in it. I think when they first see me they don’t believe it. Then when I started talking about my story they start to understand most everything they know, read, or thought about me was 100% wrong. I have more people come tell me they are sorry for believing tabloids or believing a crappy reality tv show. They genuinely get it. Tv is edited, tabloids make shit up, don’t fall for that trap. They offer hints of truth but twist it to make it entertaining. If that’s how you want to spend your life, go for it. That’s why I don’t want anything to do with it. I do my own thing, I share my side, you all decide. The biggest thing I hear is that my proof supersedes the other side’s lack of proof. Anyone can say anything about a 2 sided story. It’s how the 2 people involved offer up proof. Mine is right here, has been right here, will continue to be right here until Meri stops lying. She will never own up to the affair. She can’t. She can’t bring herself to just say we fell in love, we wanted to be together, I cheated, I’m sorry. That will never happen. I realized that 2 years ago. All I have done since then is kept fighting for myself. Now that people are meeting both of us, getting to see I am actually real (Duh) and I have a very strong opinion on all of this, I really feel like the tide has changed. I’m getting so much love and support. I knew I would. People love a good train wreck. What they don’t like is constant bullying, harassment, and several years of the same exact bunch of lies from the trolls going on and on. Lindsay has taken good care of that though. We have knocked it down to 7 trolls with a few multiple accounts each. We have gotten over 300 accounts suspended or locked up. Most of them were locked up. But she has over 150 + account suspended or deleted. She has gotten really good at that. I don’t know how to do any of it so I don’t even try. I don’t have to. She said she gets in there, reports the ones from the previous day,  texts her friends the usernames to go after, Twitter sends me an email report saying they are investigating and usually within that day or the next BOOM, Twitter does something. Same thing with Facebook. Actually Facebook does it a lot faster. Having my Facebook name changed to something completely random has helped me out a lot. Lindsay told me don’t put your name on there. With our family Facebook page same thing. We had to do that so that we could just enjoy it. Otherwise all of the Twitter hate would have migrated over there and those are all of our family and friends. We keep them away from this mess the best we can. It works because no troll has ever found us Lol It works great! Same thing with my personal twitter account and my wife’s twitter account. She posts all kinds of photos of us kissing or with the kids. We enjoy the privacy of just being a happy married couple. It’s awesome!

I’m so happy to have met a lot of you. Some people are from this blog. They showed up and told me what their username is on my comments or on the social media. I am always happy to meet someone who actually reads my blog. They are really nice people. I knew they would be. Americans can be brutally honest but for the most part they respect you. I like that a lot. I hope Paris is just the same. I haven’t lived there since I was in my 20’s so I hope it’s still a nice place to live. We will find out soon. My book signings went over time both times. I didn’t mean to but you get to talking and you lose track of time. More people wanted to hear from Lindsay than me. Lindsay is the one that is in all of the photos with Meri. Not Jackie. Jackie has NEVER MET Meri. Never talked to her, never interacted with her. They don’t know each other at all. Anyone that says different is a total liar. Lindsay has some really funny stories about all of that and I think her book is going to out do mine. I’m happy for her. She doesn’t need the money but I think it’s great.

I will be doing another book tour next year. This year we have too much going on. Our next big thing is our work retreat to Hawaii. That’s coming up soon. We have to decide if we are taking the kids, if we are not, what to do? I mean there’s a lot to deal with. It’s going to be a big fun 5 day retreat. It’s a long weekend as we call it but it’s almost a week. We have everything scheduled out and ready. It’s going to be such a great time. I can’t wait for all of my employees and their families to just enjoy a vacation. We have all kinds of great things planned and I have spent a lot of money on this trip. I want everyone to be spoiled and pampered. I have made sure we have plenty of staff for the trip and that no one has to spend a dime of their own money. We have it all planned out. I’m so happy to get time off again right after having this month off for my paternity leave. It’s honestly going to suck going back to work but the best part is a short time later we have 5 days off Lol I can handle it.

My boys are up. I need to get into Dad mode. Have a great weekend everyone! God loves you and I love ya’ll too!

3 Booking signings, 2 WTF’s, and an Uber No

Yesterday Lindsay and I packed ourselves up and flew up to Milwaukee. We had our first joint book signing event. We had a nicer crowd then I have ever gotten before. The book store manager told us around 85 people showed up plus those lingering around until after so they could ask questions and take photos. Lindsay was extremely calm which surprised me. I really thought she would get asked 2 questions and announce she was done Lol She was actually…nice. I asked her what was wrong was she dying and she said no I am getting paid to not destroy these people so I better just shut up. Good point. We are getting paid a LOT of money for this tour. We stayed and did the photos. We answered a bunch of questions most of them were for her. You guys want to know what the #1 question people asked us? They asked Lindsay how she got so many troll accounts suspended on Twitter. She told them all exactly how to do it. I didn’t realize how easy it was. Lindsay is a confirmed 150 + account killer. It’s one of the main reasons Twitter won’t touch my account. Also because I never reply. By proving all of their lies, harassment, and targeting is 1 sided, Twitter protects me and my account. Keep in mind I’m also not doing anything that violates their TOS so there’s that also. Who knew if you are a good person with a great reputation and a ton of followers you can grow a community of fans. Someone suggested we start a Youtube Channel together because we really were pretty funny. We have been friends for 22 years now. She knows every thought in my head it’s almost like she can read my mind. I can’t say the same for her because if ya’ll knew her you would know how completely random she is. For example, we ordered an Uber to get us from the airport to the book store downtown. She opened the door to get in the Uber while I was putting my backpack in the trunk and she closed the door and said grab your bag, this is a No. ????WHAT???? What do you mean this is a no? This is our ride. She said we’re taking a cab, just go.

She said she opened a portal of the 4th level of stank and the cab smelled exactly like burnt grease and nasty socks. She said the guy looked like Bucky from BuckBuckShow Lol I have no idea what that even means. In fact I even googled that and I don’t think that’s a real show. She said she told him No thanks, told me to get my bag and had to scuba breathe for 10 minutes to get that smell out of her nose. It must have been really bad. Sorry Uber guy, but your rating was really bad from us. Clean up your ride. Take a shower. Something.

We grabbed something to eat and flew out to Los Angeles. We got there on time and had about 20 minutes before the event started. So I started shopping for books for my kids. Lindsay said don’t but I didn’t listen and the next thing I knew I was getting surrounded by people. They asked if I was “Him” Lol What does that mean? I do have a name and no it’s not the name Trolls call me. Yes I’m Samuel, hello. Easy to spot me I’m 6’6″. I put the 2 books I had back and walked back over to the signing area. Lindsay said I told ya and that’s what you get. It was fine. I was only a little taken by surprise.

Huge crowd thanks LA! We had 190 at the first LA event and 260 at the second. The 2nd event was at their sister book store that was not too far away. I think it’s weird to own 2 book stores that close together but this is also where they literally have a Starbucks or a McDonald’s every 3 miles. I’m not kidding.

We finished up both events. The plan was to stay the night in LA and maybe go do something fun. She said she was over it (Of course) and wanted to just fly over to Lincoln, Nebraska. I know she only did that so we wouldn’t have to get up really early to leave. Oh and she also said let’s buzz into Vegas she forgot her “good sunglasses”. I said I will buy you some. She said they don’t make them anywhere here she got them in Egypt. Yeah, I know. It’s always complicated with her. For example, (Again), one time she literally threw a sack full of sausage biscuits at a girl because she forgot to put in napkins. I think there was more to it but by the time I went inside to see what was taking so long all I saw was the bag flying and the girl yelling at her. That was a fun morning, not really.

So we went to LV, made it to Drew’s house around 3am and I’m already up. I miss my niece and nephew so much. Drew’s kids are getting so big! I can’t wait until the wake up for school so I can see them. Drew had each of our rooms ready and thank goodness he remembered to make my room on the opposite side of the house than hers. In fact he put her upstairs and told her don’t wake up the kids. She didn’t so that’s good.

Today we have 2 book signings. Tomorrow we have 2 more and then we go to Cleveland to end our tour. This tour is very nice. We are having a lot of fun and I’m doing my best not to get angry or pissy with Lindsay treating me like her butler.

I think I hear the kids. I’m going to go say hi.

Have a great work day guys!

Yesterday was Eclipstatic!

We saw the Eclipse, sort of. It was pretty cloudy so we could barely make it out but I just added the 3 photos I took of it. Yes it’s in there somewhere. That’s Chicago though. Big event, weather shows up, enjoy.

Yesterday morning we met our adoption attorney from the agency we have been working with. She walked us through the steps we had to take which was signing some paperwork, paying the fee to the court and then it was our turn to go before the judge. I’ve known him for years. I’ve donated a lot of money to his campaigns and have always been a huge fan of his. He was happy to meet Peace. He held her afterwards for a family photo which I thought was very cool. She will have a copy of that photo forever now. He ran through everything and boom within 10 minutes we were in and out. Thank goodness we have our agency do everything Lol I would be so lost. Honestly this is the second time I’ve gone through this and this time was much easier. I knew the few questions the judge would ask me. I knew he would verify we wanted all of our documents sealed because of all of the harassment that continues online about me and my family. He asked my wife a few questions and then he signed the order. Boom! Done! Peace Taylor Cooper, welcome to our family. You now have 2 parents who love you more than anything.

After court we went over to our doctor’s appointment. We were a little early so I walked the boys around a little outside before we went in. We try to not have them sitting in a waiting room because the same 3 things happen every time.

  1. People ask if they are twins, ask are they identical, ask their names, how old they are…on and on
  2. People want to hold one of them and that’s not going to happen Lol
  3. We make a huge distraction for anyone that’s in the doctor’s waiting room and I end up apologizing to the whole room

Sarah is the one that came up with the plan to have one of us sit in the waiting room and when we get called in they come out and get us. It works out great. She’s so smart.

When it was our turn my wife came out and said let’s go. Then we had Brandi hold onto the boys in another waiting room all by themselves while we went to find out the sex of our baby.

Everything is good. My wife’s weight is up a little. She looks good, they put the jelly on the belly, they moved that laser thing around and there it was. Strong heartbeat. Then my wife grabbed for my hand and I held onto it. She wanted a girl so bad. I did too. That would even things out. Next thing I know we hear

“It’s a boy” and my wife started crying and laughing. I started laughing too and I kissed her then I said I told you I’m a boy maker Lol First my Ryan (RIP my boy) and now my son.

I’m having another son!

We went out to find Brandi and the boys. She said well what do we have and I said it’s a boy. She hugged us both and then I bent down and told my boys you are going to have a little brother soon. They have no idea but I hugged and kissed them both. Then I held my hand on my wife’s belly and said he’s in here he will be out in a few months. Still no clue. That’s okay.

After that my wife said “Peanut is hungry” which means feed her Lol We took the boys to a vegan restaurant nearby the doctor’s office. Man they had some great food. We had sandwiches and chips plus they have vegan cookies. My boys only wanted the cookies but we managed to get almost half a sandwich down them each. Heston just really eats anything. Alex is my picky baby. He won’t eat it if he doesn’t like the taste. He’s a little stubborn.

I almost forgot!

While we were sitting at lunch eating Brandi said to Heston do you want Mama to have a baby boy so you can play with him. Heston looked right at me than at my wife and said Mommy. That’s the first time either one of them have ever said it. We have repeated the words Mommy and Daddy over and over. This was a big moment. My wife started crying and gave him a big hug and a kiss. We tried to get him to say it again but he was all done. That’s all we got, just the 1 Mommy. Alex just kept eating. Peace was such a trooper yesterday. She really did very good all day. She didn’t fuss at all in court. She stayed quiet and chill while we waited and even all during lunch when I was feeding her. Can I just say how much easier it is to feed one baby at a time? I was actually able to munch on my sandwich while I fed her.

After lunch we took the boys to a toy store while Brandi waited in the Escalade with Peace. We wanted to get them a little something and my wife wanted to get some blue stuff for the baby reveal and a pair of baby shoes.

We got home and by the time I got all of the kids situated and ready to go they had put together the big box with the blue balloons in it. My dog wanted to eat the box Lol It was so funny. He kept trying to eat the corner. We had to put him back in the house.

We filmed our Facebook Live and we released the blue balloons. My in-laws were so happy. The video is on our family facebook page for everyone to see. We’ve already hit 1000 views! How cool is that. I love analytics. They are really fun for me to see. Most of our views came from Nebraska. I knew it would.

Yesterday was a really long day. We ended it with everyone giving us baby name suggestions. No I’m not naming my son Sam jr. I have a dog for that. No I’m not naming him after my dad or brother who have both passed away. My wife and I will pick something which means she will tell me what she wants to name him and I get to pick the middle name again Lol That’s how it was with Peace. We did both agree on it but it took her some convincing on that one.

I have written this paragraph 3 times now and I’m done if it erases again. I don’t know what’s up with my Macbook but it keeps erasing whole paragraphs as I’m typing. That means it’s time to get me a brand new one. I love getting new Macbooks! They really are the best laptops. Stupid thing. I bet it’s just something easy to fix. I will take it in today but I’m also buying a new one. One of my nannies can have this thing when I get it back.

Oh and I forgot the last new from yesterday. Out of nowhere Brandi told us she wants to move to Paris with us and be our nanny. My wife was very happy to hear that. I wasn’t. We already hired our team for over there. They are already living in our house and getting things ready for our big move. They even bought all of their furniture for their rooms and moved in. I mean we have it all planned out. I asked her why. She said she can continue her education since there will be 2 other nannies, she wants to be a travel nurse and what better place to travel all over than there. She said she has been praying on it for months and finally decided it’s something she wants. I said okay. It took me an hour to say okay. I was shocked. We will figure it all out. I mean I will have 4 kids soon. Why not 4 nannies? Lol We really were looking to just have 2. A main nanny and a backup one. I guess Brandi is now our main nanny. My wife said it’s going to make things so much easier and now she’s starting to pressure me into letting her take all of the kids over in November.

NO. I can’t do that. I can’t be without my kids that long. That’s 3 months. I just can’t do that. She doesn’t get it. We are going to have to discuss all of this more.

I need to get going. We are heading to Milwaukee on our first book tour stop then on to Los Angeles! If you are in one of the cities we are going to let me know. Leave me a comment here, DM me on Twitter or if you are in our Facebook pages let me know. I would love to meet some of my loyal long time readers and fans. I will already apologize to everyone that meets Lindsay. She is a very nice person but she has the attention span of a gnat. So she isn’t really rude she just gets done with talking to people very quickly. She’s really good talking all about herself than she is trying to communicate with other human beings Lol

We will see ya’ll on the road! Wish us luck!

Peace, out?

About half way through the baby shower our daughter Peace Taylor passed out and fell asleep. We did from 8am until noon because that’s the set of hours when she is the most awake. We wanted her to meet with as many people as she could. I honestly thought after a while she would get pissed and let us know she was over meeting everyone. She is so chill she just hung out. Then she ate and right after her bottle (We do vegan baby formula) she went down. Sarah took her into my office where we set up a crib for the kids just in case. My boys loved all of the attention. I had to hear at least 1000 times how big they are getting. This is very true. They are the exact same height and weight right now. The last weigh in Heston was a little bigger in weight. I think it’s hilarious when people try to guess which one is who. Sarah can have one look and tell. I can finally do the same unless I’m only looking at them from the back. Then I just guess.

My wife was very pleased at our Baby shower/Office Open House and we loved having everyone. It’s also the last time I let Lindsay “handle everything, don’t worries”. She didn’t even make it back in time for the party. She showed up late last night and had a baby sombrero for each kids. She held Peace and fed her before she put her down for the night. She was teaching her all kinds of Mexican food/drink combos. Just what I want, my newborn to learn about tequila shots and lime tacos Lol

We had so many great photos and videos. I just put 5 videos up and 42 photos on our Family Facebook page. I’m glad I started that. It’s a private page that we only approve people we actually know. My wife is in charge of that and has to ask me, who is this. I love we have control over our content. We share almost daily. We were able to add all 5 of us in there so we can upload things right from our phone. The Facebook Live part is the best. We all can add short videos of the kids to share with everyone. It really does make it easier.

Okay so here is our schedule for next week. Monday we go to court for the adoption final steps, we go to the doctor, then we do the gender reveal that night. Tuesday morning Lindz and I head out for our book signing. A book store in Milwaukee contacted me so I added them last-minute to our schedule.

We will go to Milwaukee first then fly out to Los Angeles and do 2 book signings there at 2 different book stores, then we hit Lincoln Nebraska and we are there for 2 days. We have 4 book signings in Nebraska. Finally for our last stop we are going to Cleveland Ohio on Friday. We will stay in Cleveland until about 4pm because we have a meeting with the city.

4 days without my wife. It’s all apart of spending as much time teaching Lindsay everything I know. She soaks it all up like a sponge and I am very thankful at how smart she really is. We decided to do a joint book tour because everyone was going to ask her about me anyway and she thinks more people will buy the book if I’m sitting there with her. I have warned her for rude questions. It hasn’t happened to me much but she also has a lot bigger reputation than I do. She said she’s going to wear a tshirt with a photo of a catfish on it to each event. I said please don’t and she said just watch me. Which means she’s going to do it. She has that sense of humor. She embraces the negativity and uses it against everyone. I block and ignore it all away and enjoy the peace. She loves to stir **** up.

And finally the week after all of this mess we are taking Peace to Church to get baptized. We have already picked out her Godly name and finally agreed on what it should be. In our family we do the baptism as soon as possible and we give them their Godly name right away. Our family has always felt the longer you have it, the closer you are to God. It’s tradition and I want my kids to continue with it. My wife has a hard time understanding why we do it all at once and I said because for us it feels like our child is spiritually protected a lot longer. I told her it started way before I came around so we just are keeping things going.

That’s all that’s been going on, guys. Nothing else to report about. Things in my life couldn’t be better. I get a whole week with one of my best friends and I get to travel and meet some new people. All positive things. I already miss my wife and kids. Lindsay said she will buy me a stuffy (Stuffed animal) to cuddle with at night if I start B****ing too much Lol

I’m trying to figure out how much cash to bring on this trip. Lindsay doesn’t let me pay for anything but I try to do it before she can. I don’t like anyone paying for me at all. It’s always a battle over the check. This time if I bring cash I can hand cash before they have time to swipe her card Lol And when I show them the big fat tip they are getting I think they will pick me, not her. We shall see. She is a very expensive friend so that’s why I’m trying to figure this all out.

I hope everyone has a great Sunday! We are getting ready for Church and I will update more tomorrow night. I will be announcing the baby’s gender next week some time. I’m going to pick a day and just do it. My wife said it’s okay because she has been going through my comments on here and on twitter dm and she didn’t realize how many fans we really have. I said it’s because I’m just writing about our life and I guess it’s fun to read. I don’t know why I have so many loyal readers I just know ya’ll are my blog family and I try to update a few times a week.

Have a good one! God loves you and I love ya’ll too!