Every time I type the word Freedom I want to lift my fist to the air and proclaim it loudly. A little Braveheart moment there, sorry.
I am back in Las Vegas. I have been on a travel schedule like no other. Both of my secretaries decided to cram in as many meetings as I could handle to make sure I have covered everything we need to set my businesses up for the weeks I will not be working. Meetings always lead to emails back and forth, which leads to more meetings or even a decision or two. No project is a handshake deal anymore. It’s takes a long time for a project to go from idea to we’re really doing this.
The month of February will be all about preparation. I have read about 10 baby books. I watched Mr. Mom, 3 guys and a baby, and a few other movies to get my mindset prepared for the hard work, late nights, and sheer comedy of a single guy with newborn twins. I have a nanny that will be flying in the last week of February so we can come up with a care plan. She is my nanny’s granddaughter. I am so blessed to have her. My boys will get a glimpse of what my life was like with my nanny.
I need to get everything bought, setup, painted and ready. I need to visit the hospitals when my cousin and her daughter move in, the middle of the month. I also need to go to family therapy with her a few times. That’s a requirement so we can talk our feelings out in a safe environment.
I need to finish my Foster parent certification. Meeting with my lawyer half a dozen times and get all of my ducks in a row. Then wait and wait some more for answers back from the family court system in my county.
Oh and I also probably should start seriously thinking about names. I asked my cousin’s daughter if she would like to name them or at least one. She said no, it would be too personal. She is willing to move in, willing to go to the doctor’s appointments. To give birth, sign her paperwork and heal. Then she wants to go home as soon as she can. She wants to stay in a hotel for a few days after she is discharged from the hospital. She does not want to come back to my place with the twins there. Her mom said she would like to come by and see them over the first few days. And she also would like to help me get the nursery and my house prepped. She wants to be involved, her daughter, not at all.
All of the doctor’s appointments I am getting minimal information. I’m not allowed to go with them. Which does kind of hurt my feelings but I need to be respectful of her wishes and not push that issue. The only thing that matters whether I’m there or not is that everyone is healthy. I do get to be in the room when she delivers. We have a C section scheduled, we know the birthday and around the time.
As I’m typing this all out I’m starting to get anxiety. Everyone keeps telling me how hard it’s going to be. How I won’t have time to sleep if I really want to do this myself. I know that my family and friends will fly in and out of town the first few weeks and I will have help. But I really, really want to experience all of it. I know I will get peed on because I forget to put the diaper over one of them while I’m changing and cleaning a butt up. I know that I will have to figure out how to feed 2 kids at once. I will need to figure out even how to tell them apart. Lindsay said to write a number 1 and a number 2 on the bottom of the socks until I can visually tell them apart. Would that make me look like a terrible father? That I can’t even tell my own kids apart? Or is that actually smart so I don’t screw things up?
I’m getting baby advice from everyone. Even people I don’t know. And I love it. The more knowledge the better for me. I know nothing. But I am going to try my very best. I’m taking time off of work. I have a nanny, I will have the best nursery money can buy and I am going to have the kids in my life I have prayed for. I am going to be ready. Just not yet.
I am not dating. I’m pretty sure my dating life is now on hold for a couple of years. If an amazing woman comes into our life at some point I will accept that but I am no longer praying or hoping for it. I am alone and in that “I’m working on myself” phase. It’s healthy and good for me. I kind of got the shit kicked out of me last year so I’m not in any rush to find love again. I’m happy. I really am.
I bought 3 tickets to the Super Bowl. It will be a fun time. Lindsay gets back sometime in the morning. I have to pick her and her mom up from the airport or risk a danger to a kick in my balls. She threatened that. She will be on a plane with her mom for 14 hours straight. I love her mom to death, but that woman says the most random things out of nowhere. She is the reason why Lindsay is so quiet. Well unless you take her out, then she is so loud it’s embarrassing Lol I have so many people waiting for her to get home. Mostly Ben. He missed her a lot. I didn’t realize how close they had become. He said it was fine the first week but after that he wanted her home. He said he missed her laugh and making fun of his clothes. I promise you, none of our friends believed me when I told them she was engaged. They asked what foreign country he was from, then they asked how many billions of dollars does his family have. Then they said the funniest things ever and said how much gambling money does she owe him Lol They have zero faith in her going through with this marriage. Even she says she took the ring just to feel blingy Lol So we’ll see if she’s in a big rush to run down the aisle or if she’s going to come home and say bye to Ben. I hope not I got to know him a little better and he seems like a great guy. I missed her. I can’t wait to give her a big bear hug until she tells me Okay okay get the hell off of me you wanker Lol
I’m flying her mom back to Iowa on Tuesday. Then I have to go to Oklahoma city for a few days to check on that office. And finally back home on Friday. I miss Chicago every time I leave it. I miss my bed! I want my stuff with my food and my pantry. Other than the Super Bowl trip I have zero travel plans. I will be nesting. Is that really a thing? I guess that’s what it’s called. I don’t know.
I hope ya’ll had a great weekend. I loved Pittsburgh. It’s so diverse. We went to a conservatory, an art museum and a Christian music concert with some of my all time favorite bands. Then we went to Church this morning and came back. My 2 meetings there went okay but it’s not a market area I want to expand in. I did take the meetings to talk things over. But we passed on both of the projects. I have too many irons in the fire in Nevada. We now have 18 houses we are flipping in Las Vegas, 2 casino investments, and we bought retail space on the Strip. Too much to handle for me. I like the nice quiet office where I only have to take phone calls and emails all day long.
I might get cleaned up and go to Church tonight. It will be my last Mass in Las Vegas for a long time and I do enjoy the people. They helped me through a really bad time in my life and I would like to say so long to some of them. God is so great. I really love Church. It feels like home to me. And any chance I can, I praise my Jesus proudly. He has blessed my life more than I deserve.
God loves you all. I love ya’ll too!