I’m going to fall in love with 2020

I had a pretty great 2019. I saw my love life get a small kickstart. It didn’t last long but that was okay. My boys had a birthday. My gosh the years are just flying by. We traveled a little, we grew as a family. We welcomed my last child (I’m pretty sure), Sky. Having 2 daughters is a balance I love. Let me think. This year I’ve sold way more books than I realized. I’m HUGE overseas. HUGE. I think the stupid tv show must be a season or 2 behind. I’m not sure. Either way the orders kept coming in and looking at my sales totals for 2019. WOW. So we are going to Miami Beach right after Christmas to celebrate another great year.

My kids are healthy, I’m healthy-ish and we are happy. I love my kids! I really do. They drive me nuts some days but for the most part I have some really great kids. The boys love their sisters. Their sisters tolerate their brothers. Sarah is pregnant and will be welcoming her baby in the middle of next year. Brenda has been a life-saver! She adjusted so quickly to our life. The guest house is NOW BUILT and done! The girls will be moving their things in next week. My dog is great. He’s actually lost a little weight which was fine by me. He loves his new backyard.

Our move was not as hard as I thought. I love Chicago, God knows I do, but Denver. Ahhhhhh, Denver. You are my new home. I will raise my kids all over you!

And a sidenote to this year, the trolls have left me alone Lol I mean there is still that one hold Jen Jen who is obsessed with me and anyone I talk to but all she has done is made them wonder about me, talk to me in DM and actually created new friendships with her nonstop harassment. Stalkers aren’t all bad. They are mentally deranged af and I have no idea how their family stands them but, ok. Stalk away. I don’t do anything. Literally Lol

So what about 2020. The year of the Sam? Let me think. I want to spend New Year’s eve with my date, Jen. Yes I have fired up an old flame from the last time we inhabited Denver/Colorado Springs. We have a date planned before the downtown party just to see if we can have fun still. I think we can.

I’m looking at new business for my house flipping in the area. I’m doing one house at a time. I think going slow and learning the entire process and the )(*#@$)(*#$ permits you have to wait for is going to be great.

I really think this year wasn’t so bad. 2018, Ugh. But 2020, Here’s Looking at you BABY! I can’t wait. A new year, a new chance to make my life everything I want it to be.

I love each one of my readers. You have hung in with me, oh my gosh, 7 years now! My podcast is banging hot and I’m getting a bunch of new people joining our book club. I really don’t know how much better things can get.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and New Year. You all deserve it. Thanks so much for keeping up with my life. It’s pretty great.

And Trump got impeached. I couldn’t have asked for more!

Prayers for our friend Tim

We got word this morning that one of my college friends is in the hospital. His first name is Tim. Please pray for him he was in an accident last night and in ICU fighting for his life. He’s a great father, a great husband and a really good friend. I’ve spoken to his wife and she’s trying to gather as many prayers as she can for him. We all pray Tim gets better soon and recovers from this terrible accident. Pray God to help him get well soon. Thanks everyone.

The No Hot Dog Video

I posted it last night on my Facebook. Yes that really did happen and it was hilarious.

I took my boys and the 3 nannies to the Cubs game last night. My wife took my NBC Chicago prize tickets to the Mummy preview party with a co-worker so we all had plans. We got to the Cubs game, got to our seats and were just hanging out a little bit. The game was going slow, we were down by 1 early but made a monster come back. Not that I was able to be at the game when the big rally was happening. Cubs win, that’s all that matters. So last night we were sitting there, probably the 3rd inning. My nannies had all gotten their food and were happily munching on hot dogs. Please keep in mind that I never deny my kids food at fun places. If they want to try regular food, fine. That’s the only way I can

  1. Figure out any food allergies
  2. See what food they like/don’t like
  3. Figure out what foods they gorge on and not bring it into my house

Some guy in our row was getting himself and his 2 kids hot dogs. He saw my boys sitting in their seats not eating anything while my 3 nannies all had hot dogs. I was not paying any attention to him. I was watching my boys and half- ass watching the game. Now keep in mind he obviously didn’t see them both plow through 2 bags of their vegan snacks and before we even left the house they both had supper. Sarah made sure of that. We have found out that’s just the best way to do it with them. Give them snacks while we are out but they eat beforehand. It’s how we have always done it.

This really nice guy bought my boys a hot dog each and passed it down while saying “Hey buddy feed your kids a hot dog, it’s baseball”

I know. I was stunned then just grinned. I handed $20 to Brandi to pass to him to pay him back. I said thank you and left it alone. I have my babies right there. I know better than to stand up and be a dick to some guy that had zero bad intentions. He tried to deny the money but eventually took it.

We helped them unroll their hot dogs and Sarah peeled the bun away so the tip of the dog was sticking out. Alex licked his. That was pretty funny. Heston just held it. I think he tried to sniff it. So I got out my cellphone and threw it on video. This is what happened.

Heston grabbed his hot dog with his hand. He waved it like some kind of Sorcerer and threw it down Lol I died laughing and everyone in our area that saw him did too. It was a small, but loud burst of laughter from our row. He didn’t hit anyone with it. In fact it went all of .3 feet and landed on the ground and stayed there. Yes I picked it up and yes I threw it away. The guy that bought him the hot dog just laughed and that’s when I said,

“They’re vegan. No hot dogs for my boys!” Which made everyone else laugh and that’s when Alex threw his too Lol

It’s all on video. I didn’t tell them to do it. I was just sitting there recording it. The guy said Huh? Which is what I get often and he just laughed it off as little kids being little kids.

Proud vegan dad moment there. Even my kids won’t eat hot dogs. That’s a good thing. Those things are made up of the leftover parts. It’s really disgusting. I eat a hot dog maybe once a year at a game if I have some weird craving. Yes it is baseball. Hot dogs and baseball go together. It was very nice of the guy to do that. I wasn’t insulted. I was curious as to why he would think I don’t feed my kids anything. When we left I took a closer look and both of them still had the peanut butter stuff all over their lips and mouths from their snacks. Sarah had to wipe them both clean before we got in the Escalade.

On Facebook overnight the damn video went crazy. It’s not going to go viral but it has had a lot of shares, likes, and comments. About 100 comments so far. It really was funny.

We left the game early which was fine. We got the boys home for baths and bedtime. My wife got home just before midnight. She texted me they were going out to a bar afterwards. She came home not drunk. She said she just had one drink to be social and had a good time.

My wife says the Mummy movie is predictable. She said it’s just like all of the other Mummy movies that, is it Brendan Fraiser? Wasn’t he the guy that did those? She said she liked all of the action but it’s going to bomb at the box office. She said it would be something we rented.

Remember when we all went to Blockbuster Friday after work to rent movies for the weekend? That’s so funny I just remembered that.

Today I have no meetings which is a miracle. I can catch up on a lot of emails.

We just did the random drawing for the 3 employees that are sitting with me at tonight’s Cubs game. I told them I’m going to pick all of them up at their homes so feel free to drink beer. One of the woman just called her husband and told him he has to take care of the kids tonight she’s going to a Cubs game. I don’t think that went over very well but she said she doesn’t care. It’s her turn for fun Lol That’s funny.

The other 2 have never been to a Cubs game before so I’m very happy to be providing them with that experience. I’m letting them all go at 3pm so I can also get home and get ready. I have their addresses and I’m trying to figure out who to pick up first. I’m excited. I’m going to buy them all some Cubs gear at the game and send them home full of food, happy, and excited from a great evening. My wife asked who won and I just texted her the 3 names. She said Ok, Ok, Hmmm to the young blonde in our group. I said ? back to that and she said we will talk at lunch. That means I’m about to get the “She’s blonde and young” speech. I deserve it because of the affair I had and I now take it as a good reminder and not as a criticism or man-bashing session. I have zero reason to look elsewhere in my marriage. My wife is perfect! I love her very, very much and there is no other woman on Earth for me. She knows that but she’s also aware of my past so she likes to claim me from time to time.

Look at the time. I need to get back to work here. I hope everyone has a great day. Don’t eat hot dogs Lol God loves you and I love ya’ll too!



What a Gala

My wife and I attended a black tie gala and danced the night away. It was a benefit for Water for Africa and Doctors without borders. We donated $2500 to each cause. Happy to support them both. Water for Africa helps to bring water pipelines and water pumps to the smaller rural areas. Mostly towns or villages. The pipelines are often ripped apart by militia that want to disrupt the progress for the towns and village people. It was a very educational presentation.

Doctors without borders is a cause my family foundation has been supporting for over a decade. They need more help than ever. The diseases they can quickly diagnosis and cure are as simple as 2 or 3 shots to immunize an entire group of people. They also help to get patients that need surgery. It’s a great organization and I hope you all support both charities.

My wife looked amazing. She was in a long dress and had on a necklace and a some great looking earrings. She took my breath away as soon as she came out of the bedroom. We had our photos taken with the boys before we left. We enjoyed some funny stories the driver was telling about his day. Great guy. He told us to have fun. We ate a very nice dinner as they presented the information. Then people started dancing and I asked her to dance. She said do you remember the steps to our first dance at the wedding? I said of course and flubbed my way through the first few steps. Then my brain kicked in and we got more in sync. We danced a few songs sat and rested then danced some more. Afterwards we went out for a quick dessert. She called it an almost perfect night. I said what could have made it better. She said if the boys were with us. She says things like that and I fall in love with her all over again. She missed my little guys. She is slowly spending more and more time with me doing the things they need each morning and night. Sarah gets the fun of playing with them all day. It’s a lot of work and now that they are both walking around a little she said it’s getting harder. I said when they start zooming around we will get in one of the other nannies to help if she needed it. Whatever we can do to help her out, we will do.

The gala was a huge success. I’m so proud to have been invited to such a great event. I’m happy to help in charities like both of these. I can’t wait to find out in a few months which towns we helped or how many patients we helped. I’m very excited to know that a little money will go a very long way overseas.

God helps others to help others.

This is my last month of freedom

Every time I type the word Freedom I want to lift my fist to the air and proclaim it loudly. A little Braveheart moment there, sorry.

I am back in Las Vegas. I have been on a travel schedule like no other. Both of my secretaries decided to cram in as many meetings as I could handle to make sure I have covered everything we need to set my businesses up for the weeks I will not be working. Meetings always lead to emails back and forth, which leads to more meetings or even a decision or two. No project is a handshake deal anymore. It’s takes a long time for a project to go from idea to we’re really doing this.

The month of February will be all about preparation. I have read about 10 baby books. I watched Mr. Mom, 3 guys and a baby, and a few other movies to get my mindset prepared for the hard work, late nights, and sheer comedy of a single guy with newborn twins. I have a nanny that will be flying in the last week of February so we can come up with a care plan. She is my nanny’s granddaughter. I am so blessed to have her. My boys will get a glimpse of what my life was like with my nanny.

I need to get everything bought, setup, painted and ready. I need to visit the hospitals when my cousin and her daughter move in, the middle of the month. I also need to go to family therapy with her a few times. That’s a requirement so we can talk our feelings out in a safe environment.

I need to finish my Foster parent certification. Meeting with my lawyer half a dozen times and get all of my ducks in a row. Then wait and wait some more for answers back from the family court system in my county.

Oh and I also probably should start seriously thinking about names. I asked my cousin’s daughter if she would like to name them or at least one. She said no, it would be too personal. She is willing to move in, willing to go to the doctor’s appointments. To give birth, sign her paperwork and heal. Then she wants to go home as soon as she can. She wants to stay in a hotel for a few days after she is discharged from the hospital. She does not want to come back to my place with the twins there. Her mom said she would like to come by and see them over the first few days. And she also would like to help me get the nursery and my house prepped. She wants to be involved, her daughter, not at all.

All of the doctor’s appointments I am getting minimal information. I’m not allowed to go with them. Which does kind of hurt my feelings but I need to be respectful of her wishes and not push that issue. The only thing that matters whether I’m there or not is that everyone is healthy. I do get to be in the room when she delivers. We have a C section scheduled, we know the birthday and around the time.

As I’m typing this all out I’m starting to get anxiety. Everyone keeps telling me how hard it’s going to be. How I won’t have time to sleep if I really want to do this myself. I know that my family and friends will fly in and out of town the first few weeks and I will have help. But I really, really want to experience all of it. I know I will get peed on because I forget to put the diaper over one of them while I’m changing and cleaning a butt up. I know that I will have to figure out how to feed 2 kids at once. I will need to figure out even how to tell them apart. Lindsay said to write a number 1 and a number 2 on the bottom of the socks until I can visually tell them apart. Would that make me look like a terrible father? That I can’t even tell my own kids apart? Or is that actually smart so I don’t screw things up?

I’m getting baby advice from everyone. Even people I don’t know. And I love it. The more knowledge the better for me. I know nothing. But I am going to try my very best. I’m taking time off of work. I have a nanny, I will have the best nursery money can buy and I am going to have the kids in my life I have prayed for. I am going to be ready. Just not yet.

I am not dating. I’m pretty sure my dating life is now on hold for a couple of years. If an amazing woman comes into our life at some point I will accept that but I am no longer praying or hoping for it. I am alone and in that “I’m working on myself” phase. It’s healthy and good for me. I kind of got the shit kicked out of me last year so I’m not in any rush to find love again. I’m happy. I really am.

I bought 3 tickets to the Super Bowl. It will be a fun time. Lindsay gets back sometime in the morning. I have to pick her and her mom up from the airport or risk a danger to a kick in my balls. She threatened that. She will be on a plane with her mom for 14 hours straight. I love her mom to death, but that woman says the most random things out of nowhere. She is the reason why Lindsay is so quiet. Well unless you take her out, then she is so loud it’s embarrassing Lol I have so many people waiting for her to get home. Mostly Ben. He missed her a lot. I didn’t realize how close they had become. He said it was fine the first week but after that he wanted her home. He said he missed her laugh and making fun of his clothes. I promise you, none of our friends believed me when I told them she was engaged. They asked what foreign country he was from, then they asked how many billions of dollars does his family have. Then they said the funniest things ever and said how much gambling money does she owe him Lol They have zero faith in her going through with this marriage. Even she says she took the ring just to feel blingy Lol So we’ll see if she’s in a big rush to run down the aisle or if she’s going to come home and say bye to Ben. I hope not I got to know him a little better and he seems like a great guy. I missed her. I can’t wait to give her a big bear hug until she tells me Okay okay get the hell off of me you wanker Lol

I’m flying her mom back to Iowa on Tuesday. Then I have to go to Oklahoma city for a few days to check on that office. And finally back home on Friday. I miss Chicago every time I leave it. I miss my bed! I want my stuff with my food and my pantry. Other than the Super Bowl trip I have zero travel plans. I will be nesting. Is that really a thing? I guess that’s what it’s called. I don’t know.

I hope ya’ll had a great weekend. I loved Pittsburgh. It’s so diverse. We went to a conservatory, an art museum and a Christian music concert with some of my all time favorite bands. Then we went to Church this morning and came back. My 2 meetings there went okay but it’s not a market area I want to expand in. I did take the meetings to talk things over. But we passed on both of the projects. I have too many irons in the fire in Nevada. We now have 18 houses we are flipping in Las Vegas, 2 casino investments, and we bought retail space on the Strip. Too much to handle for me. I like the nice quiet office where I only have to take phone calls and emails all day long.

I might get cleaned up and go to Church tonight. It will be my last Mass in Las Vegas for a long time and I do enjoy the people. They helped me through a really bad time in my life and I would like to say so long to some of them. God is so great. I really love Church. It feels like home to me. And any chance I can, I praise my Jesus proudly. He has blessed my life more than I deserve.

God loves you all. I love ya’ll too!

Looking for Love

looking_for_love_by_marii85In my experience love shows up the moment God wants it to. If you go out looking for love, you will find it. But it will be the wrong kind of love. I have had a few relationships in my life. One with Lisa, who I met when I was a freshman in high school. She was my first everything. We dated until we graduated college and I told her I was joining the Marines. We broke things off because I didn’t feel it was fair we try to stay together while I was going to be away so long. 8 years later I came back home and she was single. We started right back where we left off. We moved in together, shared worship at Church, and tried to reconnect but it wasn’t the same. I loved her but I had grown, changed into a new version of what she knew. So we struggled. Then we found out she was pregnant. We weren’t meant to have children yet. The moment she told me I was totally shocked then I scooped her up and fell madly in love with our baby. We found out we were having a son. MY SON. And I couldn’t have been happier.

What happened after is that we again struggled to find ourselves. I felt that I loved her, because she was all I knew about women. In the 8 years away I stayed faithful to my commitment to her. It just felt like the right thing to do. I never dated, or anything else with anyone. I was too busy working on myself and working in my job assignment. I guess I had a romantic notion that I would come back to the States, knock on her door and she would instantly fall in love with me. But in reality that didn’t happen. She felt safe with me. I treated her very nicely. And what I found out years later is that she hadn’t been treated nicely by men while we were apart. She claimed she was faithful to me and I believed her. It was not the truth and that part surprised me but I accepted it. Why would anyone wait 8 years for me?

We got engaged because of family pressure. We had talked about marriage before but for some reason I would never take that step. That was God telling me she wasn’t My One. But when you know someone for so many years you tell yourself these stories about faith and love and how you should do something. What you should do is listen to your own heart and mind and pray for answers. People change. Relationships change and it hurts. Let me tell you. When I look back now I can clearly see where the problems were. We were not honestly communicating with each other. I was working, I came home and I did what she told me to do. I just handled her to do list. We would go to bed and have intimate times but not like I wanted. I’m sure not like she wanted to. It was just doing what a couple is supposed to do. I wasn’t creating love and finding the pureness of our devotion. Eventually we stopped being intimate and I just tried to take care of her and the baby the best I could.

Then she was in an accident. When Lisa was 7 months pregnant she was hit head on by a drunk driver. The baby and Lisa were killed instantly. It devasted me to the darkest level. I could not believe that happened to her and our son. I still can’t. I struggled to accept she was really gone. I felt myself living a life waiting for her to walk through the door. I went into thearpy and probably lost my mind. I was a functioning anger monster. I was so pissed that God would do that. I didn’t understand anything anymore and moving on was just not an option for me. I went into robot mode. I went to work and went home. Eventually I started hanging out with my friends again but nothing was the same. Dating was not an option. I was not in a place where I could let my heart move forward. It took 10 years before I was even really ready to try to date again.

In those ten years I had time to figure out what it was I really wanted for a wife. I wrote this list and put it in my wallet and told myself when you meet the right girl I can take it out. For me I was manifesting my greatest love. I put all of my beliefs and faith in God to let love find me. And that’s what you have to do in life. You end relationships and it hurts. No matter the circumstances, it’s a very painful experience. But what you don’t know in that moment is that you will be okay. Because God is about to show you a greater love than you knew. Patience is not my strong point when it comes to things I want. And I wanted nothing more than a wife. Here is my list of things I narrowed down that would fit who I truly needed in my life.

1. Godly woman
2. Kind heart
3. Family oriented
4. Loves and Wants kids
5. Shares her heart with me often
6. Dreams big
7. Loves to travel and have adventures
8. Can deal with my big life
9. Allows me the courage to be me and not ask me to change
10. Loves to smile

To me, these are the most important things. They are all I need to life my life with the right woman. And I pray it’s what I have found in my current relationship. You can find love again. But don’t go looking for it. The right person is there, somewhere. Making their way to you. And when you finally feel soul connected, nurture it. Be thankful to God everyday for this love. Bless your other half with sweetness and kindness. There is no rush in finding the right kind of love. If you rush a relationship and not nurture it into a solid foundation of friendship and respect, you will regret taking your heart into a place it doesn’t belong.

I have found a wonderful woman who had chosen to spend her time with me. We are talking about marriage and kids. She has one and wants more. We are sharing our thoughts and feelings, our frustrations and misunderstandings. We are communicating. It’s hard. Let me tell you guys, talking about your feelings is like eye rolling boredom. But when you start doing it more and more, it becomes natural and it’s not a pain in the backside at all. I grow and learn from her. She is teaching me about kindness. She is so sweet. So gentle with me. Until I piss her off. Then put on a helmet Lol But the greatest lesson she taught me was to never give up. Her faith in God and in me is very strong. We are building a new kind of love. We turned a good friendship into a great relationship. And I am very happy. So is she.

God has the right person for you. Be patient and don’t go on a search. Your special someone will find you I promise you that. And when you find them, wake up in joy everyday because Love is the greatest feeling in the world!

Hope you guys have a wonderful Saturday. God loves you. I love ya’ll too!