Busy, busy, and busy

I did not get my usual weekend update post out. I didn’t even attempt to write one. Things are really busy right now for me. I love it but I’m constantly tired. So here’s a quick update.

My boys are still learning how to be mobile. They are both scooting. It’s hilarious and they both make weird baby sounds but this is just their process. It has gotten much easier to tell the boys apart finally. I can 100% look at them and point out who is who. I hate that it has taken me this long. I’m with them as much as humanly possible but it was still a trick or two. Sarah had it down within a week. She’s that good. Let me get into the latest Sarah news. Sarah has been doing online classes to start herself on the path to become a nurse that Teaches classes. It’s a lot of reading and answering questions on the computer. She said she wants to be the nanny for the money and to help us out. But after the kids get into school or she sees that I’m doing fine on my own she wants to be prepared and ready to move into the next phase of her life. I love that. I wish her well and I told her she is welcomed to stay even after she knows I can handle all of this. I told her I never want her to leave us. Unless she gets married because that would be weird but I told her even after that she can still be here and work for us. She said she wants to stay and save up as much money as she can to put herself in a great financial position to have a nice apartment to start out in, a new car, and all of her tuition and school bills paid off completely. That is her goal. Happy to help with all of that. Sarah did start asking me about if I wanted to put the boys into baby classes. What’s that? She said baby classes are like mommy and me where they get to socialize with other babies, they get to do fun activities and it’s all about helping them learn with different stimuli and a teacher. I knew about the mommy and me thing. I got invited to one Lol But I declined because I did not want to be the only guy in there with all those women and I knew my boys would get all of the attention because they truly are the cutest babies ever. So I declined. I told her we’re not ready! She laughed and said you have to let go at some point. They need it. I said get me the book on it. I will read it. We can talk about it but if they go somewhere you are going with them. I don’t want her to just drop them off and come back. She said she would be there the entire time. I said how can you do a baby class with twins all by yourself? She said they have people there to help. She would find one that would accommodate twins and that she would figure it out. She said this is the age where they  are learning so much every single day and it’s good to get them out a little and experience the world. With her protection of course. I don’t wanna. They’re too young. I’m being silly I get that but I just don’t know. I need more info to make that decision. They are both drooling like crazy. It’s getting out of hand. Sarah said that means we are about to get our first tooth. She said it will come up from the bottom first. I am not ready for that! We just switched to solids Lol This is going way too fast for me.

I have 7 month old twins. Well in 2 days they will be 7 months. It is not easy. I have so sleep deprived most of the week that I don’t know how I function at work. And this time it’s not their fault. My boys sleep through the night. Finally. I lay awake at night and can’t sleep. I’m constantly worried that I am screwing up with them and no amount of therapy will ever fix them Lol I also worry about myself. I am going out a little. About once every 2 weeks I get out at night. Or I go to a Bears game or a Cubs game. I do something. But it’s not like it was before the boys came. That part of me is itching to get out more. But I can’t. I do not have time. Okay well I do have the time. I just don’t want to. I really think that I had these kids so that I could raise them. My nannies are here to be here when I’m at work. Or the few times a month I do get out. I have completely adjusted my work schedule and got rid of my overnight work trips. Someone else in my office goes or if it’s a bigger meeting I send Lindsay. She is doing great btw. She is working hard. The whole Ben break-up is getting easier and she is enjoying living in her new house all alone. Ben is still my friend. We talk a lot. He is still holding out hope she will want him back but he said he won’t wait forever. Maybe a few more months. At least she has began to talk to him again. I guess when she told him it’s over, get out, it got emotional. She is actually showing up for work on time now and staying all day. That’s a shocker. Lindsay has always worked to get the work done. Then she leaves. And you can’t find her. On weekends she completely disappears. You won’t get a text back from here until Monday morning. I know she’s reading everything because I see the Read Receipt on our Iphones. She’s just taking her weekends to do whatever it is that is fun. Her entire life has always been about really living. It’s kind of her motto. Live like you will die. So she does all of this crazy stuff, makes all kinds of friends everywhere, and has a great time. I envy that. It makes me want to hang out with her all of the time but I can’t. I have a family now. We are still very close. We talk a lot but it’s not everyday anymore. I’m busy, she’s busy. We email about work. And she might throw in a few personal things in there. I’m sure I do the same. She said I need to be at home for a few years. Get the boys ready for their great big lives because they will not have a normal childhood. Amen to that. I don’t even know what normal looks like. All I know is that I will show and tell them how much I love them and that will be their lives. No matter what my kids do, say, or become, I will love them the most. I have since I first heard the heartbeats. I fell completely in love with my kids!

Work is busy. I wish it would slow down but I keep expanding my businesses. The money is really great right now. We are all preparing for the financial hit that’s coming in a year and change so we are being cautious. But at the same time you have to make the deals that produce recurring income. Being a venture capitalist has never been easy. I have to make the best informed decision I can to move forward. When we lose a deal, it’s tough. You get your hopes up and really see potential then things don’t work out and you get bummed out. Lindsay goes with the F’ It Approach and charges full steam ahead without really looking at everything. When she hits a big deal, it’s really big. When it’s bad, it’s really, really bad and I get angry. But she makes us all money. I’m making more money now that I have ever made in my life. She is my only investor and she is the only account we run. Everyone else comes to us for advice and everyone else comes to us for help. I feel like a bank half of the time. You insert cashflow into someone’s business, you take over their management until it’s all straightened out and you expect them to continue running things within the new system. Most folks go right back to the same mistakes that got them into trouble. So we come back in, take a higher % of the profits and try again. Some people just don’t know how to change. I hope I’m not like that. I am stubborn but not immovable. I am so thankful to God for all of this good business. I’m putting more into my savings accounts than ever before and it really feels good that our monthly income margins are getting bigger and bigger. I have always wanted to retire early. I’m setting myself up to retire in 2 years. That’s my goal. In 2 years I will have 2 year and 7 month year olds. I will be able to do everything for my boys and we will be able to travel the world. That’s the dream. I don’t want to educate them in America. I want them to have a much broader scope of the world. I know we will be moving at some point. I keep wanting Paris but with all of those attacks it scares me. I have plenty of time to figure it out.

One last note so I can get back to work here. One of the ladies I had been dating, well she and I decided to end it. She has a chance to date someone new. She said he’s on the same page she is. They have only begun talking but he asked her out. She told me over lunch yesterday. I said I hope we can still be friends. I hugged her and told her to be happy. She told me the same. Great girl! She will make a great wife someday, for someone else. I am nowhere ready for a full on relationship. I’m not even in any hurry to start having sex again. Although that has been wayyyyy too long Lol I have had a lot of offers for hook-ups but that’s not me. I want to take things slow and develop love before I ever jump into bed with someone. I’m still working on me. I’m still learning about me. And I’m happy. I really am happy!

Thanks for reading this. Have a great day ya’ll! I know it’s y’all. I have never spelled it the right way so I can be unique. And who really cares anyway? Texas Forever! God bless you guys and I love you.

Happy 6 months to Heston and Alex!

We made it! And I know I have messed up a lot on raising my twins, but we have made it. A huge milestone for anyone with a new baby. Well double that, that’s how relieved and proud I feel today. My boys are 6 months old. They are both healthy, happy, and perfect. I can’t believe how much they have grown. I can’t believe how much my life has changed.

A year ago I was not even thinking about these 2 little blessings. I wanted kids, it was a discussion but I had no idea a few months later it would be a real decision. I don’t regret anything in my life. Well okay a few things, but not these babies. Not for one second. They have been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I saw them both come into this world. I saw their first cries. I saw that 10 seconds of when Alex was not breathing and I had a complete panic over that. Then crying as soon as he did let out his first cry and all the relief that washed over me. I remember it all. I think about it every day. They came into this world wanted, needed, and already so loved. And I intend to spend the rest of my life doing exactly that. Even when we hit the pre-teens and I am no longer cool.

I hold my boys every night and I thank God for them. I tell my boys how lucky I am to have them and how much I love them. And our nightly prayers speak of how much I pray for their happiness throughout their whole lives. I want nothing more than my kids to feel loved. I tell them all of the time. Because you never want to stop hearing that. And that’s what happened when I was a kid. It just didn’t get said much anymore. Why? I don’t know. That was how my parents were. I’m nothing like that. I’m probably way overboard Lol In every way. I can’t help it.

I’m excited the adoption will happen this year and not next. I’m so thankful to my nannies. I’m very happy my boys have God parents who worship them. Not so excited about the competition to buy their love. That’s getting way out of hand.

We will be getting our family photos back in a few weeks and I’m very excited to put a few of them up on the wall. They turned out great. Even the candid ones are funny.

I never thought I would have twins. It’s hard. I really was not prepared for how hard it was going to be. But I made it. We made it. We survived. I feel like having a cold beer tonight. I won’t. But that’s the kind of feeling it really is. 6 months. Wow. Time flies. I’m just trying to spend as much time with them as I can. All of my traveling has slowed down. I needed those breaks and to allow my family to get to know my boys. They need to bond with all of their cousins. And I need to remember I’m not alive just to feed and change kids Lol

I can not wait to see what happens in the next 6 months. I know we are pushing forward with the adoption of a little girl. I’m still going through that process. I think sometime next year we will begin the search. Their birth mom made a joke about don’t ask her for anymore babies she’s done for a long time. She’s so great. She has been so supportive for me. This has worked out well and I’m glad we have an open adoption. I want my boys to know her. She wants to know them. She wants to know they are okay and that she made the best decision for herself and for them. She said she feels happy thinking about them now. It’s no longer a pain she feels. She says she gets the pictures and her heart feels really good. Because they look so happy and healthy.

One more quick story from last night before I get back to work. I had both of the boys on the couch with me. One on each side. We were watching the Olympics and when the American runner was running so fast I raised up both of my arms to cheer her on. I wasn’t shouting but I was saying GO GO GO! And Heston raised up his fist a little Lol It was hilarious. He was doing what I was doing. We all laughed which made them both laugh. Sarah said she wished she had gotten a picture of it. I’m going to have to go back through the Nannycam video and see if I can pull an image from it. It was pretty funny.

I just uploaded a ton of photos on my Facebook this morning to mark our 6 months. Lots of great comments from my family and friends.

My boys. My perfect baby boys. I love them!

6 months old almost

Good morning from the Lakehouse. We are celebrating our almost 6 month old twins this weekend. Lindsay came up with the idea. It’s their half birthdays. So much fun. She put together a slideshow of the photos I sent her or she took from the past 6 months. I can not believe my two little peanuts are this big. Wow. It was very emotional for me to see how we started off. I didn’t even mind the really bad photos of me with unshaved face, messed up hair and big bags under my eyes. That’s what a real dad looks like.

It has been sleepless nights, worrying all  of the time, feeling like a total failure, realizing I can not handle all of this, wanting to give up some nights, not knowing anything, to finally starting to realize I did it. Well we did. I could not have gotten this far without the girls. My nannies are the best. They really are. We will be back to all 3 nannies soon. And we are in a much better position that way everyone is getting more time off. We have all built trust together. We can now all schedule to do things. And we are getting ready to add in swim lessons for the boys. I had to wait until they were 6 months old. That will happen in a few days so next Thursday will be their very first swim lesson. I can’t wait. I have a pool here. I want everyone to be safe with the boys when they are in the pool. And I will be even worse than I am now once we are in our home pool with no trained life guards Lol I even asked Sarah if she would go take a baby water safety class with me. She said no. She is a great swimmer and she feels confident about how we both will handle it. She said at this age the adult HAS to have their hands on the baby at all times in the pool. You can teach them to back float but at this age it they can not do any of it all on their own. I guess I am paranoid. I just don’t want them to ever get hurt. Which is dumb because at some point they will. We did have scratches early on from them scratching their faces a little. Then we put mitten things on them to help that and made sure their nails were trimmed.

Guys, the first time I clipped Heston’s nails my hands were shaking Lol It took me a few seconds to finally do it. Then I was like NO I’M DONE. I CANT DO THIS! Lol I was ridiculous. Now I have it down. No problem.

6 months old. I feel like that’s a big accomplishment for me. If we make it to Year 1 with no major disaster I will be so blessed. Heston babbles but not like Alex. Alex has a lot to say. He is always babbling. They are both scooting around on their tummies a lot. They are both raising up on their arms and knees a little bit. It’s fun to watch them try. Alex finally did a roll over. They are both still working that out. We figured it out because we put Alex in the crib on his back and when we went in to check on him he flipped himself over. I have Nannycam so we watched it on the video. Then I took a video of it with my cellphone and sent it to everyone.

Our family photos with Lindsay and Ben was ……… Hmmmm it was fun at first. My boys did fine through the 2nd outfit. But after that it was all downhill. They were all done smiling and looking at the stuffed animals above them. Nothing we did could get them to stop and that’s when we said enough. The photographer said that was normal and they usually have a twin meltdown sooner than that. Hey, my boys are awesome they don’t meltdown as fast as other twins I think? I have no idea. I have never had them around other twins yet. That might be fun.

Today we went out on the boat this morning, just cruising around slow. The weather is perfect. The girls are shopping. I’m writing this then going to start making stuff prepped for dinner tonight. My buddy Cam and John are coming over tonight to eat with us. We’re grilling out. Chicken and steaks for them. I’m grilling tofu and asparagus for me. Yummy, my favorite. I saute the tofu for a few hours to give it a nice flavor. It really is good if you have never grilled it.

This afternoon we will go back on the boat for a little while then go swimming. I want to see how my boys do. And with all of these adults here we can keep a very close eye on them.

Things could not be better in my life. I’m dating 2 beautiful women, I have the most perfect twin boys. I couldn’t ask for anything more. My life is great! I am so happy. I really am.

I hope ya’ll have a great weekend. Go have some fun today!

We’re just trying to heal up in this house today

IMG_5642  Yesterday and today have been pretty bad in my house. Heston and Alex are both going through something. We took them off of the vegan formula yesterday. I’m not sure that’s what is causing all of this but I wasn’t going to chance it at all. So now we are using normal baby formula. So far so good I guess. Things got a little worrisome yesterday so I took them to a clinic nearby to get them both checked. Alex was okay, Heston wasn’t. We took them home with some meds for Heston to put in his formula. It was supposed to help but it didn’t. I didn’t get any sleep last night because I was holding him, walking him around, or sitting next to him making sure he was getting better. I already cashed in my First Time Dad Doctor visit card, so whoever had $20 on April, you won Lol It’s stressful. We are supposed to let their bodies correct the issue and they are I guess but what do I know. I am making them both comfortable and trying to keep our same schedule. I’m exhausted. I did take a 2 hour power nap a little while ago and just woke up. Everyone is passed out right now. I had about 10 things on my To Do list for this weekend and got nothing done. It sucks.

My poor boys! It’s a helpless feeling and I don’t like it. But I’m supposed to listen to the doctor. Do any other parents have that moment where you say “What the heck does that doctor know anyway!” I had that this morning around 3am Lol It’s a little frustrating. The girls are doing so great helping me with them. The boys are getting extra, extra attention from the whole team. I feel bad because I know the girls had other plans too for this weekend but as they all said, this is what we get paid for so don’t worry about it. They are right, we will be coming back up here in 2 weeks.

Now my Cancun trip with Lindsay is on a maybe list. We are supposed to leave Friday night and be down there for a week. It’s an Abraham Hicks land cruise and she managed to get us a meeting with a new developer down there to get information and ideas on how Americans can develop buildings in Mexico. I think the boys are doing better but I need 3 good days in a row before I decide if I’m still going. She can take Ben or her mom if I can’t.

Wow, does my whole world shut down when my boys are sick. I haven’t touched my phone since yesterday evening and I had all kinds of notifications and texts on there. Sorry but my kids are my #1 now. Ya’ll understand that I’m sure.

A big congrats to a special someone who welcomed her baby girl into the world yesterday morning. I saw the photos, so sweet. God bless her and her family. I’m so happy for them all. She is a beautiful baby girl. Many, many years of happiness in store for her! God bless you sweet little one!

I need to go shower. I also woke up with a big shark fin Lol It was pretty cool actually. I took a selfie and sent it to our Group chat on Iphone Messenger. I’m still rocking the Pompadour but on Thursday I have a haircut appointment to shave it all off. Spring time I always cut it down to a caesar cut so I can grow it out for summer. caesar

It looks a little something like that. I don’t think that’s the real Julius Caesar Lol I just type into Google images whatever I’m looking for and grab the first one usually. This guy, it kind of looks more like Marc Anthony? Maybe? I don’t know I’m too tired.

I hope ya’ll are having a great weekend! The weather has been perfect! I had both boys outside for a little while earlier to give them some fresh air. It’s sunny and bright. Love that kind of weather here! Too bad we’ve been inside all day. I really wanted to get them out in the backyard a little and put down a blanket. I don’t want to do that when I know they aren’t feeling so well. Maybe next time we come up if it’s nice like this. Great Chicago weekend!

I need to find out what time Sunday night mass starts. I didn’t even make it into Church this morning. Don’t tell anyone! I’m going I swear Lol I just had to pick a later time. I think it starts at 5:30 here. After Church we are all going back to the condo. I think it’s going to be another long night. Poor Sarah. She really didn’t get a full weekend off at all. I feel bad about that. She’s so good with the boys. She was as worried as we all were. I need to give these girls a shout out. I really do appreciate everything they do. I have the worlds best nannies. They are so loving and kind with my boys. They are always talking to them and playing with them. This weekend they held them and really gave them extra love. Thank you ladies! I appreciate all 3 of you very much. I really could not do anything without you. I know nothing.

God loves you and I love ya’ll too!

Are you ready for this? Kind of

twins  Yesterday morning almost at 4am my cousin began banging on my bedroom door very loudly shouting something. It takes me about 2 minutes to wake up because my brain goes into such a deep sleep. I sat up and started processing all of it.

Samuel it’s time, it’s time. Get up!

It’s what? As I jumped out of the bed. It’s time? It’s time? It’s TIME! It’s TIME! Okay. Shit. Okay. Okay. I need shoes Lol I bolted across the condo to the other side. There is my poor cousin’s daughter bent over her bed, laughing, almost crying, but still smiling. I said Are you ready for this? She said kind of. I said what can I do for you? She said get me to the hospital. We had already packed her a bag with all the things she wanted. And a backpack with all the things she wanted to read or look at in recovery. So I grabbed those threw them by the front door then sprinted over to get myself changed. I had ordered a custom Batman tshirt that says I’m the Batdad which came in the day before (Just in time) so I threw that on, put on jeans, shoes, and a sweater then ran back over to see if she was getting dressed or needed me. Ran back over grabbed, wallet, keys, coat, my belt, then grabbed my backpack that has the camera, some snacks, extra cellphone chargers, their first outfits, baby blankets to bring them home in, hats that matched, and everything else I might need. The last thing was my iPad that has everyone’s phone numbers on it I created for the call list. I texted Lindsay and Drew in a mass text message and said It’s time, get flights, Come now! I knew Lindsay would respond right away because she was probably still at the casino at that hour Lol I knew Drew would see it when he woke up and he would get his wife and kids ready to get on the first flights they could. I shoved my phone in my pocket and ran back over to start getting her to the door. Her mom was hysterical between happy and oh shit. We got her walking but she was leaning on both of us. I was trying to carry bags, her, my cousin, and deal with setting the alarm, locking the door, hitting the elevator button.

The moment you hit the elevator button, the wait seems like a lifetime when you are watching someone in labor. Her contractions were not close together at that point. So it was weird she would be okay then she’d almost double over and spread her legs apart. I was secretly thinking if a baby falls out of there I’m going to have to catch it Lol The weirdest things go through your mind as you are trying to get to the hospital. We got downstairs, loaded her up, and off we went. Got to the ER, got her inside, they wheeled her somewhere, I parked the Escalade, then ran inside. Where is she??????????????? They told me how to find the place I needed to be at. I ran that way, looked everywhere and finally found them. She was taking her coat off and getting ready to hop up onto a bed. Well, not so much hop, it was more like a roll. Then her legs went up in the air and I turned away. All I know is someone said her water broke, everything looked okay, let’s prep for the C-section, they paged her doctor, it would be about a half hour and they were going to take her back. That’s when all of us started to realize this was happening.

Lindsay texted On My Way! No word from Drew yet. They came and got me had me put on some outfit with a shower cap thing and next thing I saw was her on a table covered from the boobs on down. I stayed up near her head. I wasn’t sure when to start taking pictures because I did not want photos of them coming out. I didn’t think that was a good idea. I mean it is my cousin’s 18-year-old daughter. That’s not something I want to see or have photographic proof of later on. So I waited. Her mom was on one side holding her hand and looking over the drape. I was on the other side of her head, looking up, down, all around expect by the drape. I kept telling her it was okay and she was doing great.

Out pops baby one. Now I had a few name ideas kicking in. The one name that stuck in my head all along was Heston. It was a name I had heard from someone else (Meri Brown) and I liked it but it didn’t seem to fit. The name just lingered every time I would think about my first son. What would I want his legacy to be. What name would become immortal to me? They scoop him up, showed him to her, put her down on her belly, I cut the cord and then they put him on a baby table and start cleaning him up. I kissed her forehead, ran over and started reporting back that he was covered in slime, then he’s getting cleaning up. Oh shit, take pictures! So I started snapping photos. He’s a little blue but he’s breathing okay. Then he let out a huge scream finally! He’s okay, he’s okay. He’s here. He’s crying. Everything is okay. I saw him and his name just hit me. Heston William Cooper. That’s it. He looks like a Heston to me. That’s why God kept that name in my head this whole time. It was meant for him. He’s big. He’s a lot bigger than I thought. Then I turn around and see 2 doctors trying to pull the next one out. But they kept talking to each other about something that I wasn’t able to understand. I looked back at my cousin’s daughter, she’s laying there, half crying. I ran over and started holding her hand again. But keeping my eye on Heston. Then comes the next one. He’s breech. That’s what they kept saying. The cord was around his neck, they pull him out, he’s not breathing, or moving or what is going on? I got scared. I got really scared because this time they didn’t even show him to her, they took him right over to another baby table. I didn’t even get to cut his cord! They put him on oxygen and started doing manual breathing with this big squeeze thing. A respirator? He finally starts wiggling and they suck stuff out of his mouth and nose then he started crying. That was honestly the longest 40 seconds of my life. I ran over and started taking pictures of him too. My cousin finally came over to see them. We were hugging and crying. I kissed her forehead. I ran back over to her daughter and kissed her forehead again. I told her he’s okay, the cord was around him but he’s moving and crying. It’s okay. They are both fine. She was crying and kept telling me to go check on them. I looked at my second son and thought Alex. Alexander James. I love that combination. It was one I had said a few times to people. The names just came to me as soon as I could see them. So I finally made that decision.

The next hour is a blur. It was a lot of moving her over to her room where she would recover and them putting me and the boys in a different room a few doors away. When Alex was off oxygen and doing okay they brought both babies into my room. It was time to feed them. I had donor milk in bottles so I held Heston first and fed him. My cousin held Alex. About halfway through we switched so I could feed them both the first time. Then we just held them. We were both grinning and talking. I told her what I was naming them and she said great names. She kept calling Alex little man because he had such a hard time coming into this world and he made it. The nurses kept coming in every few minutes to see how they were doing. All I kept doing was stare at them! I kept kissing their heads and talking to them. A few hours went by and my cousin said her daughter was ready to see them. She told me to sit down. I paniced. I immediately thought Oh shit, she’s keeping them. She said her daughter wants to tell them goodbye. That if she asked me to leave the room to just think about how hard it will be for her to see them then let them go. So she said don’t get offended. It’s how her daughter wants to do this. We brought the babies down to her. She held one, then she held them both. She was crying, we were crying. I didn’t say a word. I just let her hold them. She whispered to them a little then she told them she knew this was right and she would love them always. She would keep track of their lives and would see them sometimes. She kissed them then said come take your sons. I picked up Heston, My cousin took Alex. She signed the papers. She did not want pictures of her holding them or pictures of them near her. She said no photos of this. And that’s it. I am their legal guardian right now. The boys are mine, legally as of that moment. That’s when it really, really, became real. I was so scared when my cousin told me to sit down. I thought she was going to tell me her daughter wanted to keep them. To see her go through the biggest act of love I have ever witnessed in my life was surreal. We got the babies back in my room and I walked back over to her. I asked my cousin to watch the boys. I told her I would protect them with my life, I would make sure they were good people, good men. I promised to give her pictures, videos anytime she asked and she was welcome to come stay with us anytime  she wanted. I would fly her out anytime. She said just make sure this was worth it. We hugged for a long time. I told her I would check on her again and I walked out. Then I sent her mom back and told her to stay with her for a while. She needs you.

And there I am. Talkng to myself in my head. All alone in my room with my two kids. Alllllllllll alone Lol With 2 boys. Twins. By myself. What did I do? O M G! Here I am, 2 kids, no woman, no family. Just me. How am I going to do this? I can’t do this. Can I? I can do this! I know I can. I think. All of this stuff started hitting me. She really signed that paper. This is a done deal. And guess what pal, you are going home with these 2 babies also. So you’re done Lol Your days of going out anytime you want, flying off anywhere, done. You are stuck at home, feeding, changing. Just babies, for the rest of your life! Done! Lol I swear I was half panicking half amused at my self talk. Then Lindsay finally called. She was at the airport with Ben. She called Shelly already to pick them up. She was coming, don’t do anything without her Lol Finally help is on the way. She said she woke Drew up by calling nonstop. He was getting tickets for just him and his wife. He would bring his kids out later on. They were coming later in the afternoon and he started calling my family for me to get the word out. She was calling and texting our friends. I had forgotten I probably should start telling people until that moment Lol I wasn’t even aware it had already been 3 hours. So I got them both down to sleep and sat in between them and started making calls. I called my Uncle first. He hasn’t been talking to me since the news came out about the affair. I left him a voicemail and told him who his new nephews were and said please come see them. Then I called my older aunts because they told me they needed to be told first. They also said they would call their kids which would save me a lot of calls. I sent out a mass text to everyone I could think of. Then a friend of mine made that sign I posted yesterday. I thought that was cool. I posted that on here, and started reading all of the congrats messages you all posted.

Thank ya’ll so much for that. It made me grin every time my email went off with another message. It means a lot to me that you took the time to just acknowledge that. Very sweet of ya’ll. Thanks again.

Finally Shelly came up. I had an ally! She started crying. Shelly used to work for my dad. For decades. She was the secretary when my mom quit working with my dad. So she has literally known me my entire life. She moved to Chicago when we expanded to be the office secretary for me and the new investment company. She is the backbone to all of my businesses. And she is like family to me. So she came and gave me a big ol’ hug then said give me one Lol She held them and we took pictures. Then she took pictures of me with them. I hadn’t even thought of doing selfies or even ask anyone to take my pictures with them yet. It was all love. My cousin came back to check on me. I went to talk to her daughter again. I asked if she wanted to come see them. She said no it was too hard and too soon. She wanted to go to her hotel room the next day to recover. I asked her to come stay back at my place but she said she can’t. I understand but I still wanted her to know she is welcome. I booked her in a really nice hotel near by. I told her to stay as long as she wanted to, get room service, get anything she wants it’s all paid for. The hotel has my credit card on file and she could charge anything. I told her I would give her the number to car service so she could go anywhere she wanted the next day then when she was ready I would get her a flight home or if she wanted to drive back. Just let me know. She did keep asking how they were. I would tell her all I could. I told her they both pooped and I got to change their diapers. I told her it was weird because the diapers are so tiny and my big hands kept getting in the way. We both laughed a little. I was trying not to make it awkward. She asked why do you keep checking on me? I said because you are my family. It was never about just the babies. It’s her too. I told her I would stop coming over to say hi if that’s what she wanted. She said no it’s fine. Then we visited a little more and I went back.

Hours went by so fast. They slept, peed, ate a few more times. Then Aunt Lindsay made it with Uncle Ben. She came with 2 teddy bears and a load of balloons. Ben had a box of cigars. We all hugged then she picked one up then the other. I said makes you want to have one huh. She said Hell no. So the first cuss word they ever heard came from Lindsay, which doesn’t surprise me Lol She bonded with Alex really fast. She said he is her favorite and she was taking him home. Drew and his wife showed up a few hours later. They both held them and Drew gave me a big bear hug. He has known since Ryan’s death that I wanted more kids. It wasn’t something I could admit so this was a big moment for me. My sons, and my 2 best friends all together. It was emotional. Then I had Drew and Lindsay hold them. I took some pictures and said Boys, these are your Godparents. And they will watch over you for the rest of your life. It was really fun to say that. Because I know with all of my heart Drew and Lindsay would really give up their lives for my boys. I know that and that’s why I picked them. I would not be where I am in my life without these 2 people. Who aren’t even my family members. But they have been with me through everything and I couldn’t imagine them not being here with me for this. It made the whole day complete.

I slept at the hospital last night. I sent everyone to my place. Lindsay said she would check the nursery and make sure I had everything. If not they were going out to Walmart or Target to go buy what I needed to get through a few days. Drew said he would clean up the house and make sure I had plenty of food for the swarm of my family that was coming on the weekend. Everyone was pitching in. They all left and I finally got to eat. I had forgotten to drink or eat all day. I woke up every 2 hours, I didn’t really sleep. I just sort of laid there and looked at all of my pictures. I was able to talk on the phone a few times but mostly it was sending out photos. We all had a good first night.

We are going to be released later this afternoon or early evening. I get to take them home! My cousin’s daughter is also leaving around that time. So we had to make arrangements to get her car service. I had a wad of cash that I gave my cousin. It was in a thick envelope and I told her put this in your purse. This is for flights or for gas or whatever ya’ll decide to do to get home. Or stay. Stay for a week and just enjoy your time here. She said she wants to be with her daughter and check on the babies. I said that’s fine. Just take care of her daughter. I’m sitting here writing this and it’s already been an hour. My sons are sleeping and perfect. They are going to be great men. I am going to teach them as my grandmother taught me. To be loving and kind to everyone. My sons are going to be good people. I’m going to be patient and just handle everything with love. I want them to grow up knowing every single day I love them. The first time Heston grabbed my finger that was it. I was a dad.

I’m a dad now. My whole life changed yesterday. I have to raise my sons now. I will write when I can. I know the next few days I’m going to disappear on ya’ll. Sorry but I need time to get things in a routine. Plus my entire family and a lot of my friends are coming. My nanny is coming today. She was not ready to move just yet but she made arrangements. I’m going to be okay.

I love hearing all the great messages. As soon as I can I will respond. I really appreciate all the love. I will see ya’ll soon! My sons needs me.