I left it on the boat, again

Today we all went to Church. The kids, the wife, the nanny. Everyone. We had a great time too. I really enjoyed today’s message. “Bring your life into your present moment.” Very inspiring. After Church we all went over to a buffet restaurant and had a nice brunch. Man the food was good there! I really liked the variety of different kinds of salads. My boys just wanted the fruit. I swear if I didn’t make them eat other things all they would live off of is fruit. Peace was ohh’ed and aww’ed over everywhere she went. She really is the sweetest little girl in the whole world. She is so quiet. Even her little cry isn’t that loud. I know that won’t last forever but I also know as she grows she’s going to change a lot faster than my boys did.

We all made it home to change clothes. I packed up 2 picnic baskets full of food and water and I told everyone get on the boat and jet skis, we are going out for a day of fun. My wife loved the idea. She just wanted to read her magazines and lay out in the sun anyway. We took off and had the nannies on the jet skis following us. I love watching Sarah ride around. She is hilarious. She cooks right next to the boat and then she’s waaaaay behind us Lol I turn around to make sure she’s not waving for help. I don’t know what she does to make it do that every time but I just laugh. We found a very nice quiet little beach to park near. I got out and transferred, kids, then wife, then food, and began setting up our beach tent. It’s a huge canopy that shades all of us. I made sure to order the biggest one I could find. The only bad thing is if the winds hits it just right it takes off. Even if I stake it down. Today’s wind was almost non-existent so that made it very nice. We all took turns swimming with the boys. I took Peace out to just dip her toe in and she wiggled. I didn’t put her in the water. I just wanted to see what she would do. She spent the rest of the day hanging out under the canopy and napping, eating, looking around. My wife took off with Heather on the jet skis and they were gone for a while. I could still hear them but they went around a corner and I didn’t see them at all. Then I heard Heather’s big laugh and a Woooooo and they just zipped on past us Lol It was really funny to see them going around the boat. I thought they were going to hit it but she got out-of-the-way or maybe it was just my angle from where I was standing.

We probably spent way too much time out there today but it wasn’t that hot. A nice cool lower 80’s I think. By the time we finished eating and everyone was about to pass out for naps I said let’s head back. We got home and I unloaded everyone and everything again. My dog was pissed we didn’t take him this time but the last time I did he took off in the woods and rolled in I have no idea what it was. I just smelled it and knew he was getting a bath later.

After we got the kids settled down for a quick nap I took a jet ski out myself and did a few laps around the area. I heard the other 2 jet skis start-up and next thing I know there is my wife with Sarah and Heather again. Brandi and her 3 friends from the city stayed with all of the kids. They arrived just as we were heading back home the first trip out. We all started going over each other’s wakes and spinning around each other. My wife tried to cut hard to splash me with water but didn’t get it very high. I didn’t do it back because I knew I would get yelled at. I just took off and waited for her or Heather to catch me. They did and this time they cornered me and both splashed me really good Lol It was mean! Oh well.

We got back and all took showers. What a fun day out today. I hope everyone got outside to enjoy this weather. If it’s nice out you can’t keep me inside. I love being in the back yard. Even if I’m just taking a walk with my dog or watching the cat jump on bugs in the yard. I’m so happy both of my boys get this huge back yard to run around in. I guess I didn’t realize how much kids need a yard. I took it for granted and really believed that going to the park 2 or 3 times a week was good enough. It’s not. I learned that one early enough. Our house in Paris has a huge yard for them. I can’t wait for them to see it. I just realized I forgot my cellphone on the boat. That’s the second time today I left it somewhere. I’m getting old and forgetful, geez.

I need to get down to the kitchen and start making supper. Everyone does not want sandwiches again so I think I’m going to just make some spaghetti. I can use vegan noodles because no one even knows they are vegan and just yank out enough for me and my boys before I add any meat. That should feed this big group of girls up here today.

Hope everyone had a nice day. God has really blessed all of us today. Thank you Jesus for all my blessings. I really do appreciate my life and all things you grant me to enjoy. Amen!

Not working is awesome

I love being home with the kids. I really do. We are having such a great time. My wife had to go into the city to get some work done. She got back in time for supper. I spent the day feeding, holding, and just loving all over my perfect daughter. The boys helped out a lot and when she was sleeping I mad sure to spend all of my time with them. I forgot how fast this all goes. Early next year I’m going to have 2 almost 2 year olds, a 6 month old and a new-born. I’m crazy, right? 4 kids. That’s God. He put this on me because he knows I can handle it. his is exactly why I’m retiring from SJC. I want to move on, 10 years is enough. I’ve made more money than I ever dreamed of and I’m retaining ownership in everything. I get to cash those checks, that’s it. How great is that?

I want to raise my kids. Not pass them off. As soon as we get the littlest one into school I will only keep a nanny on call. Right now all 3 of them are barely doing anything. It’s easier when I’m at work because they have to do everything. I told them all when I hired them as soon as I’m home from work those babies are my job. It’s what I wanted. I think I value this parenting experience more since I’m a lot older than most dads. I asked my wife several times before we were married if she was sure she wanted an old dad for her kids. She said yes and I’m not that old Wait until Peace graduates high school, (Mr 62-year-old proud father) Lol. She doesn’t care. She said it’s not about my age It’s because I am all about the kids. I have to be. I didn’t have a mom for them to start their lives. That would have been much easier. Now getting to share decisions and getting input, that takes a lot of pressure off.

My wife just pointed out I misspelled decisions. I went back and fixed it. As we all know by now, I don’t give 2 honks about spelling or grammar on here. I run the Spell/Grammar check took. It red lines my mistakes and I go fix it. Th grammar, good luck. At lest I not typ lik dis. That would be bad.

I have more book signings in Chicago coming up. I have a few more the rest of this year. It’s all just an excuse to go somewhere fun on a weekend. I moved all of my out-of-town trips this month to other people. Lindsay is doing all of my West Coast and Nebraska trips. My 3 VP’s are going to take East coast and South. I will do that Springfield trip though at the end of this month. I have to go. I can’t get out of it. That’s a quick flight there and home though. I should be home in time to feed Peace supper and get her in the bath then to bed.

My dog loves his new sister. He sniffs her feet all of the time. He was able to see her a few times and just looked at her. You tell him something and he just does it. Greatest dog ever. The cat, oh man. My wife’s cat does whatever the f-bomb he wants. He does not care. He started sleeping in bed with us but he jumps in around 2am. I wake up around 5 or 5:30 so the first few times I looked at him he jumped off. I told my wife and she didn’t believe me. She said that Tristan (This is the cat she claims can talk) told her he doesn’t like sleeping in our bed. I said ask him to stay out of the bed then. She said he used to sleep on the pillow next to her at night and now that I’m in the bed, he’s pissed. That’s all I need is to piss off a cat.

I made a giant mexican feast tonight for dinner. Between the boys they knocked out one taco and a little bit of the refried beans. I had to chop up the taco into very tiny bits but they love it. I asked Heston did you like your Taco and he said Tacoooo? With a high pitch at the end. It was hilarious.

My wife said finish up it’s time to Netflix. I said and chill? She said maybe if I’m good, later though Lol

Wish me luck!

Comic-Con? No

I asked my wife a month ago if she wanted to go to Comic-Con. She just looked at me like I was the biggest nerd she knows, which I probably am. She patted my shoulder and said you go ahead if you want to. That was the end of that discussion. Who doesn’t want to go! Maybe next year. Now I get to see all of the cool pictures my friends are sending me from there. Some of the Cosplay costumes are badass. No I would not have dressed up. I like looking at that stuff and buying all the Batman stuff I can but that’s as far as I go. I own Batman t shirts not Batsuits Lol

We made it up to the lake house last night. We grilled out and had a nice quiet evening. The boys love the big backyard. They don’t love getting sprayed religiously with bug repellent. We had a slight increase of water level on our beach but not that bad. I was surprised actually. The house is nowhere near the flood plain so we were fine.

Today we are going shopping and going to map out where everything is going to go. I have 2 condos full of furniture. Not all of it is coming here. Lord knows I have the space. We have so much open space in the 2 other living rooms here I’m sure we can fill up the house finally. My wife has been going through each piece of furniture this week and marking it on some list Keep, Move, Donate. I told her just leave the boys stuff alone and any of my personal stuff, then decide whatever you want. I’m not very particular about this stuff anymore. I used to be. I wanted it all perfect. Now with kids I don’t really care. It’s just stuff. I can buy more stuff. The nannies packed up their bedroom stuff and we brought it up this trip. That meant when we got here last night I had to unload everything and carry it up and down the stairs a million times. I’m thankful at my old age (44) that I’m still getting around so well. I still wake up stiff and have to stretch a little. I sit up on the side of the bed and yawn then I stand up and my knees say good morning to everyone. I take a step or two and then I know all systems are a Go Lol It’s sad getting old but this is why I still workout and yoga. I want to keep limber. With all these young babies around this place I need to run after them.

All of my clothes and my wife’s clothes arrive today. Later this afternoon all of the boys’ clothes and Sarah’s clothes will arrive. Then we get to spend the rest of the day putting it all up. Thankfully everyone can help me put the boys’ bedroom together. They really have too much stuff. I told my wife this is a good time to purge some of it. She said it’s all my fault for shopping online. I can’t help it. Amazon makes it way too easy to get the latest new baby thing. Buying 2 of everything can fill up a room faster than you realize.

Heston has shown some interest in his potty chair. We are at the point we are trying to explain what it is. I know we are a ways off from him actually using it but I think he’s getting it. Alex won’t have anything to do with it. And Sarah had a very awkward conversation with me last week about having the boys watch me take a piss. She said they will model me and learn how to do it only from me. She said she could throw Cheerios in the toilet and try to make them hit it but they won’t get it. It’s easier for me to do that. I don’t want to Lol I mean I will when it’s time but I don’t even piss in front of my wife. That’s just bad. No one wants to see that. My wife doesn’t care but I do. That’s just part of my shy side I guess.

What else? We have some really fun concerts coming up soon. We went to so many shows out in Vegas. When my cousin Tyson buzzed through town he had some really cool passes we could use. We saw 4 shows that my wife picked out. I’ve seen almost all of them. Lindsay and Dave have too but they still went with us. They also went with us when we spent the day at New York New York and had a lot of fun on all of the rides. They didn’t go with us when we went to Circus Circus. Lindsay says it’s the armpit of the Strip and the food and gambling there suck.

We might get a few sprinkles this morning but it’s mostly going to be a cool cloudy day. It’s amazing the difference between the weather here and Chicago. It’s going to rain almost all day there. Up here, maybe a sprinkle or two. That means we are going out on the boat. My boys love the boat. I never get on the engine unless I am alone. When anyone is with me we just kind of putter around a little. We like to go visit our friends and dock up next to their property. We get off and go say hi. Then we load back up after a little while and go to the next. Everyone does that around here. It makes it nice to catch up and see what’s been going on.

My wife is no 13 weeks pregnant. Let me check our baby app The Bump. Yep, 13 weeks and 2 days. It says we are 26 weeks and 5 days away from her due date. That seems like forever. We are almost through the first trimester. That’s good, what grade did we get Lol She said the pregnancy so far is pretty easy. She’s getting all round everywhere, I love that. She has been eating well, exercising, and trying to relax more. She’s pretty stressed out with work lately. She has some really big cases she’s trying to wrap up before she resigns. There sure is a lot more to legal work than I realized. She said for every meeting or conference she has with a client there’s 2 or 3 days worth of paperwork that follows it. I guess I never thought about it.

I did get her name tattooed on my back. She’s not pleased that it’s the only female name on there but my back piece tats are my life story. Most of all of my tats are memorial ones anyway. It’s pretty big and it turned out just like she wanted. I love it. I love knowing it’s on there. When we pick out the baby’s name I will add that to after he or she is born. We have begun the list. The baby name list. 2 columns. We get to say no to whatever doesn’t sound good. We did have a doctor appointment and we did confirm it’s just one little Cooper in there, a while ago. Thank goodness! If it was twins I would move Lol Just kidding. I would be okay with it but geez. What a twist that would have been.

Here is the list we already said no to:

Preston to go with Heston

Charles, too stuffy

Michael, too plain

Six, Lindsay said that one and I just rolled my eyes, Six Cooper, really?

Heather, guess who came up with that one Lol

Adam, don’t like it

Molly, it’s a nice name but no

and the best no ever was Hermes Lol Cam came up with it. Hermes Cooper, the m is silent. It would have an accent above it. No. Sorry Cam.

The yes list we are keeping private. It’s on my phone. I’m in charge of keeping the list.

My wife just woke up she just came in and hugged my neck than gave me a kiss. I need to go get breakfast started. She wants her OJ. Have a great weekend everyone. I will update more later. It’s going to be a pretty chill weekend here.

God loves you and I love ya’ll too!


Sunday wrap-up

We all made it to Church this morning. My wife snuck home very early this morning because she said she was laying in bed and missed me. So she got up in the middle of the A.M., drove the 55 miles to our lake house and crawled into bed next to me. Isn’t she sweet!

Church had some very profound teachings this morning. I really enjoyed it. We picked up the boys from Sunday school and all went out for brunch. I tried suggesting we go home and let me fix a big breakfast but no one wanted that. We piled into a local breakfast place and had a very nice breakfast. It was really good. I had the fruit plate with oatmeal. You can’t ever beat fresh fruit.

After breakfast we went back to the house and got everyone back into the vehicles to hit the farmers market. We picked up a bunch of really cool stuff as well as some tasty things to eat. After that we came back and just hung out the rest of the day. We are all packed up and almost ready to leave. I’m waiting for Heather and my wife to come back from some antique store. They went in search of a clock. I don’t know why but they decided we needed another one for somewhere in this house.

It sounds like they just pulled in. Time to make our trek back to the city. Another great weekend in Lake Forest!

Hope everyone had a great weekend. I will update more tomorrow!

A quiet weekend!

Work has kept me very busy this week. I announced that I will be staying at the lake house this weekend with my boys and my dog. If anyone wanted to join me, okay. I’m exhausted, I need a break and I’m taking it. Everyone kind of laughed then said okay. We decided my wife is going to stay in town because she has to catch up on work. Sarah is going out-of-town to…well she never said but she gets weekends off so go have fun, Sarah. The part-time nannies will be joining me. At first my wife said no. Then I said this is what I pay them for, to help me on the weekends. So she changed and said okay. She tends to forget I look at those 2 (and Sarah as well) as my older kids. We have little arguments, we are probably too comfortable around each other and we all understand I am the dad Lol I hear myself talk to them as if I am their dad and they either roll their eyes at me or they stand there with a completely blank look on their faces and say “K”, my least favorite word/letter in the whole alphabet. Lindz has “K”‘ed me for the past 22 years now and it drives me nuts.

I’m going to hang out, read, play with my two best sons in the whole world and finally get a bunch of time to play with my dog. He’s been a little neglected this week and that’s all of my fault. When my boys are taking a nap I will take him for a long jog. He needs it and I haven’t exercised at all this week.

We are moving into our new office building next weekend. Coordinating that has been a nightmare. The new office is not that far from the older one but getting a permit to park a giant moving truck to unload all of our stuff has been a hassle. The City of Chicago (I love you) and these permits can kiss my ass. You have to get a permit to park, a permit to zone off a certain area for a restricted amount of time and probably a permit to even sneeze. It’s ridiculous. But I really hope this is our last move as the new building is huge. A lot more floors, a lot more space and a killer office for me. That’s all I wanted. Lindsay is very happy with her office which is right next to my office. She will spend almost no time in it so I asked why she needed it. She said for show and to let everyone know she will be popping in whenever she’s in town. I really, really wonder how all of this is going to play out. My retirement does not equal I lose all control of my businesses. It means I’m no longer managing any of it day-to-day and I show up for board meetings about once a month. I told Lindz not to power trip once she and my 2 VP’s take over. She laughed and said “Oh it’s happening” Lol

I’m really tired and worn out. This week has been really busy for me. I have had 2 book signings already and I haven’t updated about those yet. That was fun. They were in the ‘burbs of Chicago.

I have, let me look, I think 2 more to do? Unless they make me do more which is their option. We shall see.

I need to get everyone up for the day. Enjoy my blog, oh ye who had been cast aside and play nice. Or Lindsay will ban you…again.

P.S. As always I googled that image I’m using for my Featured Image. I typed in Chicago Spring and I liked how it looked. Please stop sending me comments about the images I use as the Featured Ones. 99% of them are off of google. I don’t post personal photos here unless otherwise noted. All of my personal stuff is on my Facebook.

Sunday into Monday

Let me think. Yesterday I was up early. Got breakfast together and made sure my boys had everything they needed. Then I took the girls to Church. Church was awesome like always. I always feel better coming out of Mass. I do like the Friday night mass serves in the city and sometimes we will go to that instead of Sunday. Depends on what plans we have. We went to Starbucks so everyone could get their favorite drinks. Then we headed home.

My plan was to stay in the boys all day and enjoy a nice relaxing man day. That almost worked out. I got changed and took the boys upstairs to show them some new things we have. We looked out of the windows at the lake and bounced on the bed a little. It can be hard to watch them when we do that. I probably should stop but it’s fun and they both laugh. Then it was time to make lunch so we went downstairs to see what everyone wanted. Sunday lunch was sandwich day. Fine be me that’s easy to do. I set everything out in a big buffet style line and got lunch for my sons. We got them set up and eating and then I made myself something. Everyone else ate when they wanted to. After lunch I cleaned up the kitchen took my dog out for a nice long walk and then came back in to read books to the boys and play with some toys we ordered for them. They are really getting around now. It’s funny how they switch from crawling to staggering Lol That’s what Sarah calls their walking style. It’s true they do stagger. I like it when one of them leans on my dog for support then he starts walking and they try to keep up with him. It usually ends in him ditching his brothers and them falling on their backsides in laughter. All a learning process.

My boys are both now referring to my wife as mama. It’s constant. She loves it and I can tell it really hits her heart. I’m glad she decided to work on that one. She is their mama and I’m so happy I have her in their lives. The girls went out to a movie. I stayed back to hang out. Then it was time to pack everything up and go. Before we left my wife wanted us to stop by this shop to show me something. We left Sarah in the Escalade with the boys (Doors locked) while we went in real quick. She showed me a big piece of art? (Sculpture?) or something she wants for the living room. I had to study it. I took a picture of it and really tried to imagine it on the wall. I asked where it would go and she said it would look great on the back wall so that everyone can see it from the doorway. There’s nothing on that spot right now and if she wants it okay. So I bought it. I told them I would pick it on Wednesday since I have a meeting near by and they said they would wrap it up and hold it in the back.

Then I gave my wife a big public kiss for being so thoughtful and sweet. She giggled and blushed then smacked me Lol I don’t do that often enough. She is kind of shy about PDA but sometimes it’s fun to see her reaction.

We got on our way home and decided it was pizza night. It’s just easier. The girls stopped and picked up our order while we went the rest of the way home. I got the boys upstairs, the dog upstairs after his fit in the elevator. He wanted to stay with me and decided he needed to howl at me Lol It was hilarious. He’s half beagle so I assume that’s where that, is it called baying? comes from. The boys laughed. He doesn’t do that often. I told him I would take him for a walk in a few. That seemed to calm him down.

Then it was hauling all the stuff up to the condo. The nannies left their stuff in their car thank goodness. They buy so much stuff every time we go up there. I guess the sells were really good and since the weather is about to change (Again) it was time for spring clothes. I got all of that done, took my dog for a walk and then went up to eat pizza with everyone. My boys love pizza. We cut it into really tiny bites for them but they get sauce everywhere. Vegan pizza really does taste better than the regular pizza most people enjoy. I think it does anyway. My wife usually has 1 slice of my pizza because she says she likes the dough crust. She really is great about me and the boys being vegan. Although she does let them try things more so than I would. I’m not trying to deprive them of carnivore stuff. I just prefer for their regular meals they eat healthy. And who can resist giving a baby a small bite of a new food. The day Heston learned about real ice cream I thought his mind was blown. He took a lick and he was hooked Lol He grabbed my wife’s hand like he was claiming her ice cream cone and started licking and trying to bite it. It was so funny we put that video on my Facebook and got a lot of really funny comments on it. Alex doesn’t like ice cream which is weird. He likes fruit. He loves strawberries the most.

I think we ate almost all of the pizzas. It was time for the nannies to all go home. We talked about our trip to the Wisconsin Dells this coming weekend. That will be fun. I don’t know if we can put Heston in the pool with the cough he had last week but if he’s fine by Wednesday when his meds are finished up I think it would be okay for a little while. There is so much more to do there anyway. The following weekend we will be going back to Nebraska for a family trip. It’s that time again to haul the boys back to see my relatives. I’m so glad it’s getting much easier to fly with the boys. After a few trips we have figured out what works with them.

I hope everyone has a great work week. So happy you are here. Make sure to have fun and check back soon for some awesome updates!

Love ya’ll!

P.S. Ran a spellcheck and this is the first time there were no spelling errors Lol Gold star for me today!

The coughing is almost gone

Thank you for all the nice messages about Heston. His cough is better. It’s not completely gone and we have him on meds. I pray he doesn’t have allergies like I do. I think it’s just a combo of some things and we are very happy that Alex did not catch it. Yet. I hope the medicine clears everything up and we don’t start passing this one around. We did that last year and I don’t want to go through that again. Everyone got sick in consecutive sections. This is why I make sure to take my vitamin C pill every morning. To help my immune system.

Yesterday I had a very chill day at the house. I didn’t leave. I wanted to be with Heston because he wasn’t feeling well still. He is much better and we had a low-key play on the floor kind of day. He did take a few extra naps and that’s okay right now. I think Alex loves it when he gets me all to himself. He always wants me to hold him and he starts touching my face all over. He’s studying me. Trying to figure out my words I think. He is my little restless boy. He is happy in general but he is always the one crying over things. Heston doesn’t very often. It’s really weird how different they are. The older they get the more they look exactly the same. We do the same baby haircut on them. I’m not growing their hair out. I’ve seen that before on boys and no thanks. It’s just not our style. My wife wanted to grow it out a little and I said no. I change my hairstyle monthly so I know what I like for my boys. Their fine blonde hair doesn’t really show much of a cut yet anyway. I know their hair will thicken up in the next 2 years it’s just in a transitional phase Lol

The ladies went shopping, to a play, to more shopping then I gave my wife cash and told her to take everyone out to eat and bring me back something, please. When they are all getting along and everyone is happy I try to do all I can to keep that going because it doesn’t last long. The trouble isn’t with my wife and Sarah. I really thought that would b the toughest relationship. The trouble is with the 2 part-time nannies and my wife. She expects a great deal out of both of them on the weekends to give us a little time off. They both work 12 hours shifts and they make their own schedules. Whatever they choose that’s what they choose. I don’t have a preference. I just want 24 hour coverage for my boys. When I’m being greedy and want time alone with my boys the girls struggle with that. They are getting paid to do whatever we want. So if I say go shopping they always do a check in a few times to make sure they don’t need to come home. They don’t want to take advantage of the situation. I reassure them we are all fine, I just want alone time because I work and travel so much. I want to actually raise these boys. I don’t know how my parents did it. I don’t want to go out with my friends on weekends or party it up anymore. I get off work happy to be going home to a family. My family. I want every spare second with my boys and I struggle more to have time for my wife. She knows that I try very hard to balance it all out. And let’s be honest, gifts help Lol We don’t fight. Well at least not yet. We are still very much in the honeymoon phase and can’t get enough of each other. She is much better at making efforts, small affections, and time for me. And here we are wanting another child so soon after my boys. I know I’m not Batman (yet Haha) but I still try to save the world. Well actually I try to save myself from the world that never stops.

The truth is some days I feel like a complete failure. I drag myself home at 8pm, my boys are already in bed getting ready to fall asleep. Which means I only get a half hour or so with them for the day. That never makes me happy. I eat a quick supper. Sit on the couch and find out how my wife’s day was. Then I get a full report from Sarah on what happened with the boys, she goes home to the condo next door and I internalize how working so much isn’t worth it anymore.

I have built an empire. It’s a well oiled machine run by Lindsay’s ambitions and my loyal employees. 9 years I’ve been building this thing. And truth be told I’ve spent my entire life working for this. My years in the Marine Corps taught me so much. That’s probably why I still wake up so early in the mornings. Believe me I’d much rather be in bed but my mind won’t shut off and I can’t just flip on the tv anymore. I have a very beautiful, very sleepy wife that does sleep all night. I don’t want to wake her up. I already feel guilty the times I roll out of bed quietly and accidentally wake her a little. A kiss and a go back to sleep usually does the trick. My businesses run themselves. Lindsay is taking more and more control of things. She’s doing a great job and I knew she would. When she sold her own business after 12 years of running things I knew she was very serious about partnering up. Who knew she would have saved up so much cash to really buy into my company. I knew she was always well off because we always fought over who paid for what but I guess I wasn’t paying that much attention to the things she owns. Not leases like the rumor mill started a few years ago.

I will retire at the end of this year not because I can’t do this anymore. It’s all about my children. My dad was never home and never there for me. I don’t want to be that guy. I want to be present and accounted for, daily. I want to have dinner with them, ask about school and be able to take and pick up from school. I want them to know, not just realize but really know that I’m there for them. I am going to do something. I haven’t figured it all out yet. But I am going to do something with a much lighter schedule. I would love to go to Culinary school. I just don’t think my hand can do it. It has been so damaged it’s getting harder and harder to open and close it. It’s my left hand that’s bad and being left-handed I won’t be able to control my knife skills or stir or anything as well as everyone else. My wife has encouraged me to go talk to a chef school and ask them to just give me some basic things to test my hand out. She said if it’s so bad I need to start occupational therapy or something to help make it better. I was doing great last year with it. That’s because changing diapers a million times a day, you get your dexterity going. And within the next year and a half maybe, the boys will be potty trained and we will have fewer things to change or clean up. Just a quick sidenote, you read all of these baby books and my boys do not follow the timeline these books say they will. We are either very early on growth and progress or we are very late. And having twins they don’t do things the exact same days like I thought. It’s close but Heston is usually the first one to do something brand new. I think he teaches Alex more than we do.

I want to be with my family. I want to devote time to my wife so we don’t have marital problems. I’ve seen so many of my friends get a divorce. I can’t judge them for making that choice because I can’t imagine that would be easy. What I do know is that I don’t believe in it and I have no plans to screw up my life so much my wife doesn’t want me anymore. She keeps saying that I’m too perfect. I’m not. Far from it. I am decent and I’m a good man. I want the very best for everyone. Most of all I want my boys to do good things in this world. Whatever that may be. They came into this life having me as their only parent. Now they have a mom and 2 parents who adore them. From that we now have extended family and 1 set of grandparents that love the fact they don’t have to share us with any other family on holidays. They get us anytime they want. That’s one of those sad bonuses about my folks not being here. I think about that sometimes. Would I ever let my boys even meet my dad? I’m sure I would. Would I ever let my mom take them overnight to her house? No. Not if she had stayed with him. I think about my folks more now than I did in the past 13 years. I miss my mom. I really miss my grandmother. She was, is, and will forever be my hero. She is why I’m this way. She is the reason why I feel lost sometimes. She was my guiding light and without her here I am heartbroken. She would have loved that I had the boys and got married. She would have been right there for all of it.

Family is all we have. You don’t always get along but I’m starting to realize, if you do right by your own family, you will do right for everyone else. I love my wife and boys with all of my heart. I plan to have another chill day at home. And when the ladies wake up breakfast will be ready for them. Because cooking is how I say I love you. And them enjoying it is how I know they love me too.

Have a great Sunday everyone! The boys will not be going to Church this morning. Brandi will be staying home as long as we bring back her blessed Starbucks Lol We will be going home around 5, our usual time. My dog is up I need to go take him out. I will update more tomorrow.

God loves you and I love ya’ll too!