I sold out…then I hit pause

Because of the nanny situation I’ve decided to sell my app that I was working on to the software engineer that has been helping me create it. I know its monetary worth because I had it appraised and we agreed on a price I was happy with. And then…

I’m trying to deal with raising the kids on my own. I had a part-time nanny that would come in as needed. That did not work out at all. I’m here, trying to balance everything, and it just became too much. I had to choose. The app or the kids. I picked the kids. My kids have always been my dream. My career will be second to them always. I’m trying to get out of having a nanny. I want to figure out how to do the things I want to do and still raise my kids alone. I think that’s impossible at their ages. I know that in a few years they will be at school and I can continue on trying to find my next chapter. I kind of feel like I’m selling myself out or maybe I’m selling myself short. How many single parents have to actually go to a job 8 hours a day and still come home and do all of the family stuff. I can afford a nanny. I can afford several nannies but I don’t want that. I want to raise my kids.

Now a new idea has come up of having a live in nanny who can either stay in the house or stay in the guest house out back and would be available as much as I need. I could keep working on my app but limit the schedule down and mostly work from home. I could keep pursuing that dream and have the freedom to go to meetings and/or travel as needed for the app. I just don’t know. It’s complicated. I like my uncomplicated life. I’m thinking on it but how do you decide such a thing? I don’t need a nanny it’s more of a want so I can keep my app. But does this app mean that much to me? It’s a way to keep working. I’m not someone who can sit around and do nothing. I’m always needing to be busy.

How do you decide? I guess pray. The answer will come to me. I have plenty of time. I just have to figure it all out.

I just Jeff Lewis’ed all of my nannies and then hired a brand new one

I had a family meeting this morning with all 3 of my former nannies, Sarah, Heather, and Brandi. I decided not to re-hire any of them and hire a new girl. The reason is simple. I want them all to start on their nursing careers. I love them. God knows I couldn’t have done any of this without them but I know I’m holding them back. When we moved back to Chicago I wanted them to at least come on the weekends for a few hours so I can go to the stores. We started that but then I thought I’m ruining their personal time. I made it official. They are not coming back to work with me. They are family, they are welcome to visit, stay, hang out with us any time and some of them have. That’s where I need it to be. I don’t want to hold them back. Especially Sarah. She has a really great job and has done so well. I don’t want her to quit just for me. She said she would because it’s a lot more money for her. I don’t need a live in anymore. I just need someone a few hours a day. Maybe not even that. I told the new girl we can go day by day at first until we find the right schedule. She is not a nursing student or even a nurse. She is a full-time nanny.

We all were sad. It’s the official end of an era. And then….

I got a call last week from the adoption agency. They have a little girl who needs a home. I freaked out. I said no right away. I’m not ready. The truth is I was going to wait until January of next year to start the process all over again. I do know that it can take up to a few years for me to find a little girl. I’m not ready. I don’t even know if I will be ready in January. Right now I’m just focusing on my kids, taking time on myself. It’s going really well.

She is going to start tomorrow. Just for a few hours after supper to see the night-time routine. By that time of the day I’m fried out. I’m hoping this works out. I just need a little help here and there. This will also make it easier for doctor’s appointments.

Wish us luck!

#NYC this weekend

I am taking my wife, my boys, and all 3 nannies to New York City this weekend. We have a huge ballroom event hosted by SJC Investments Inc – NYC office. We rented out a hotel ballroom and have been planning for this launch for months. Our new office building is completely done and open for business. We have been doing some business but we haven’t had a full-blown New York style launch yet. We had a smaller soft opening but nothing to this extent.

I have spent over $60,000 on this party. It’s going to be a very big deal. I have invited a lot of my family and friends to it. All of my employees are also invited from all of our offices. We are going to have a very busy weekend. Add to that I have 2 afternoon book signings at downtown book stores. 2 hours each day. Not what I wanted to do but my wife assured me she will be sightseeing with the boys and everything will go by really fast. I have hired security for this trip. NYC is a major city and with all of the Russian bomber flyovers, the boats docked places, and our awesome President Trumpy wielding power like it’s Harry Potter’s wand, I want to make sure my security people will get my wife, kids, and nannies to a safe place very quickly. I’m also flying my pet nanny with us and my dog. My dog will love Central Park. I offered to fly his buddy out and the kid said OMG that would be amazing. I told him to bring a friend so he’s taking a girl with him. He’s gay so I found that really funny. He asked if he could buy himself tickets to a show and I said as long as my dog gets out to Central Park 3 times a day I’m fine with it. I said your job is to make sure my dog is taken care of until we are back in our hotel room at night. Then he’s my responsibility until morning. I’m bringing his big harness. I want to make sure he is all strapped in and can’t wiggle out of his leash. All of those people and all of that traffic makes me nervous. He’s also so damn friendly he will probably think they all want to pet him Lol He’s a great dog my Sam jr and I want him to enjoy his time on this trip.

The girls will do their usual shopping, eating, and whatever else they do while I’m busy. We are flying in Friday night and staying until Sunday afternoon. We want to leave about 4pm. I need to do a lot better job of getting everyone home earlier on Sundays from our trips. We tend to get home at 8 which throws off the schedule and then we all spend hours getting things unpacked, put up, and ourselves to bed. I really need to set a timer or something. We run late almost everywhere we go. It’s turned into a big family joke at this point. I have no concept of time anyway so I rarely pay attention. We get there when we get there. Sounds just like my father. But my wife said it’s rude of us to show up half an hour to an hour late to places. Okay okay.

Anyone in New York City that wants to come see me at my book signing, send me an email. If I know you and you aren’t a troll I will send you the location. We have a mailing list we have made now. It updates everyone on my book signing events. We have almost 4,000 people on it which is very cool. Lindsay is in charge of all of that. She is very diligent on who gets on there. She doesn’t want the trolls to, well troll me at my events. So far no troll has found my location and showed up. At the TLC event over last summer Meri met a troll and afterwards said “That’s what a troll looks like? Wow that’s not what I expected” Lol We both laughed because she later deleted the troll from her Twitter because she was creepy and Meri said she was sick of her tweets always bashing me. Well, you lie with dogs (or Trolls) and you get fleas.

My boys have 4 places they will be going to for some baby fun. Swimming which is always their favorite, some Lego place for them to lose their minds at and 2 toy stores. My nannies have it all mapped out. As long as we all eat supper together I won’t mind if we miss out on dinner together. Well technically lunch but who cares what you call it. Traffic in New York City is always insane and I’m glad we all get car service. I want everyone to be safe and have a great time.

I will update more tomorrow. Have a great, what day is this? Wow it’s already Thursday. I need to get my stuff ready for my trip. Geez. Have a good one, guys!

God loves you and I love ya’ll too!

Checkups and Walls Up

  Sarah and I took the twins to their doctor yesterday. It was just a checkup. My little guys are healthy, thriving well, and really hard for other people to tell apart. I can look at them and tell. Even their doctor not so much. Everything is fine. Alex is doing very well. He was the one that started out with a bad beginning if you all remember.

After that we took the boys to a restaurant and enjoyed a nice lunch. It wasn’t a quiet lunch but that’s okay. Everyone around us were so nice. And my boys got to be the center of attention. That’s usually how it goes now. It’s been so nice having Sarah back. Her and I are in a rhythm that my wife and I haven’t gotten into yet. When my wife moved in we tried to work out our privacy issues and the only thing I could figure out was put up a wall between the condos.  My condo is all one floor. Sarah now has her own condo a little smaller than mine. We put the wall up to give me the bigger living room. She has the baby monitor on her side also and can hear them when they get up in the middle of the night. Her and I take turns. One night I get up with them, the next she does. It’s working. And she said she really loves having her own place. She insists on paying rent. It’s not much but it makes her feel good. I put it into my safe and keep it for whenever she has decided to retire from being our nanny. I don’t want her money. I don’t need it and whenever she does leave us it’s because she is going to start her college teaching career. I want to send her off with a huge nest egg. I have told her even if she wanted to work at a college at night I would be home with them and she could never leave us Lol She said it depends on her work situation.

My little family is enjoying our home. It’s worked out great and makes my wife happier. I leave in the morning after she does, Sarah comes over and I come home before my wife gets home. I’m able to make supper, send food home with Sarah and wait with my boys for her. We get a lot of alone time now. I love that the most. I get to play with them, hold them, teach them things. We are working on them bowing their heads in prayer before our meals. It’s a slow process but they are like sponges right now. I’m watching my tone, watching my words, and trying to be simple for them to understand the basics. I get to do all of this fun dad stuff without anyone trying to tell me how to do it. When my wife gets home we all eat unless she tells me to start without her. And then she gets to be stepmom. She loves the baths and the bedtime part. After we get them to bed then we both crash on the couch and talk about our day.

I honestly never dreamed my life could be this great. Being married is amazing. I love it. I should have done this years ago but I’ve been waiting for this woman to come along. She was worth the wait.

Who is excited for a new President? Not me. To me Donald Trump is nothing but a Fine Print guy. He boasts all the flashy things that shock you into paying attention. He promises all of these things that sound plausible but when you really see how he plans to implement it, you realize you should have read the fine print. He is a disappointment. The next 4 years can’t go fast enough.

How is everyone doing? I’m finally getting to the comments. I had over 1600. I deleted most of them. I’ve replied to a few.

I’m so happy people are realizing the truth. My story is all right here. My proof is still where it’s always been. Thank you all for coming. I appreciate you all. I love ya’ll and God loves you too!

Weekend update from Chicago

Life has finally been quiet. I think Lindsay taking out a bunch of trolls accounts has helped a lot. They were getting really aggressive. That’s what happens when their antics and messages don’t get to me at all. They escalate. A lot of the accounts were suspended for multiple accounts. Just like I said, a group of 10 women making a bunch of fake accounts to harass me. Doesn’t work, ladies. I don’t see any of your messages Lol That’s why they have the block button. Nice try though. I am flattered you spend all day and night talking about me. Ya’ll need to go get your own lives. I’m living mine.

Things are going great. Church was really good this morning. I took Sarah and her friend Kelly. Then we stopped to grab something to eat for everyone. Today I have to catch up on my personal emails and work on a few things. My main will be coming over at some point today to clean. I love it when I have a fresh lemon scented condo. She does a fantastic job and I never want her to leave. We all love her. She is so funny with her mixed up slang and quotes. Such a sweet lady too. Her daughters and grandkids are all awesome.

I took Lindsay and Josh to the Cubs game yesterday. I had gotten tickets from a vendor as a thank you for helping him out with somethings. The seats were too good to pass up. We had a great time. Lindsay made it her mission to not drink beer. Josh had a few beers and I had a sip off of his beer because he said try this and see if it tastes funny. I don’t drink so all alcohol to me tastes bad. They both pigged out, laughed and took a bunch of selfies. Lindsay made friends with anyone within 10 seats of us. She was quiet for most of the game until it was clear we were going to win. Then she started harassing the Cubs players that were standing outside of the dugout or were coming back in from the field. She got a few of them to laugh and smile at her. It was really funny. After the game we all came back here to hang out a little while and play with my babies. Josh is really good at holding them and talking to them. He will be a great dad someday when he is ready. He’s a really great guy but he has made a few bad choices like I have. He is newly single because he has just went through a breakup. He is itching to get back out there and keeps trying to drag me to all of the summer parties he gets invited to for his work. I don’t want to go. I want to stay at home with my boys. My entire life right now is working and coming home. That’s it. The Cubs game was a rare treat and came at a time when I needed a few hours of adult time.

Our nanny schedule is changing as of tonight. We are going to try to do Sarah all day. I take over as soon as I get home so she can nap and rest or go out. Then at bedtime her and I split it up the best we can. It’s going to be an adjustment. Our only weekend nanny is on call. Meaning when Sarah and I need a break she will be available. She is out of school and wanting more hours to earn money for a new car. She has paid up a lot of her bills she had and wants to get a car while she is making this much. I thought I was paying a fair wage but maybe I’m overpaying Lol I don’t really care, my boys are worth the absolute best I can provide for them. As long as they are healthy and happy it’s worth it. Whatever it costs.

The boys have started sleeping longer through the night, finally. That is helping. They were getting up every 2 to 3 hours. Now it’s going for 5 hours and sometimes 6. When they eat they are both eating a lot more. We always have bottles ready to be mixed up and warmed in the baby warmer. Lindsay lined up a bunch of baggies next to a counter full of empty baby bottles so all we have to literally do is dump the formula in, hit the water button on the baby warmer and wait a few seconds for them to fill up. I have no idea why I didn’t even think about that before but it sure comes in handy.

Our laundry has become Mount Dirt in the laundry room. I put my dog in there at night if he keeps barking so he doesn’t wake up the boys. When he’s behaving he sleeps in my room in the corner. He has his own huge pillow bed and blanket. He also has about 50 dog toys all over the house. We try to pick them up but he just drags them back out. We learned to not buy him anything that squeaks because he would sit there and squeak it non-stop. It was annoying after a while. He likes to go upstairs onto my roof deck and bark at the pigeons. Some of them are probably as big as he is Lol They fly off, he barks, they land back on the deck and he takes off after them again. We also still have his pet nanny who takes him to the park and for walks during the day. He has a bunch of new dog friends that he plays with at the dog park near by. He has a more active social life than I do. And he is a big ham down at the dog grooming place. He gets a bath every 10 days and nails clipped or ears cleaned out. Whatever he is in need of. They spoil him rotten and he always comes home with a new toy or a new dog bone.

So my story is finally fading away. Thank goodness! I am yesterday’s news or at least I’m trying to be. My Fox interview has really helped me more than I thought it would. I have gotten a lot of support from doubters and haters. It feels really good to exonerate myself by simply telling the truth.

I have to take Lindsay to the airport now. She is going to Oklahoma for a few days then back to Las Vegas. Loved having her here. My boys can’t get enough of her. She makes them smile so big. As soon as they hear here they start wiggling trying to get her to pick them up. She does all kinds of funny sounds and blows on their necks. She is really good with them. She wants to be called Auntie so we are putting that name into their minds. She has bought them way too much stuff. And really been spoiling me too. She bought me this watch I had been drooling over for months. I can never seem to pull the trigger on things that expensive. But I am obsessed with watches. I have over 450 by now. They are all in my closet in their own special display drawers. Some are vintage, some I inherited but most of them are gifts. People have no idea what to buy me so they get me a watch. And I love it.

Hope everyone has a great Sunday! I am going to relax at home and get some stuff done when I’m not playing with or feeding my kids. I love my boys! They really are perfect!

What will become of my life now? I have no idea. But I do know that I will find love someday. Just not yet 😉

Up early


Good morning. I have already finished my morning prayers, fed the boys, worked out on my Bowflex, showered and I’m about to make my oatmeal and my Liv drink for the day.

I was up twice with the boys last night. They are starting to sleep longer. Yesterday they were both fussy. Here’s hoping for a better day. I’m starting to catch up on things. We are in our routine and it’s giving me a little free time. My nanny is going to the store this morning. It will be the first time I’m alone with the boys for a few hours. She thinks I’m ready to handle it. I want to try. What could go wrong?

I find out from my adoption lawyer today if I will get my foster parent certification on Friday. I completed all of the requirements. Something I had done once before in Nebraska but that was an emergency order in that case. My nephew was in and out of my home often so it’s very different this time.

My cousin’s daughter has been home for a little while. She doesn’t want photos or to talk to me on the phone just yet. She has asked how they are doing. She is not ready. She wants to heal up some more and get back to her life then she said she will want photos. I am so thankful to her. She gave me a lifelong gift that I have prayed for.

Being a single dad with newborns that aren’t biologically mine is probably the best case scenario for me. This has worked out even better. I have seen a lot of my friends go through divorces and they only get their kids every other weekend. I couldn’t be without my kids. There’s no way. With this, I never have to worry about losing custody or having a drag out fight over it. They are mine. It does make me want to adopt again. It’s something I am thinking about. I will already be in the system so it’s much easier. I would love for my boys to have a little sister. Or two little sisters. But not twins Lol No way. When my cousin told me they found out the one baby I agreed on was two babies I dropped the phone. I made her repeat it a few times. I thought okay God you are finally getting me back. It’s turned out great. I couldn’t imagine my life without either one of them. Sam jr could Lol He takes off with their socks or barks when they cry. He is usually the first one at their door when they wake up. He’s not allowed in the nursery so he sits in the door way watching. He is getting better. I take him for walks and still play with him as much as I can. He also sleeps in my bed down by my feet so he gets plenty of time with me. He really is a good dog. And Lindsay gets to see him. She loves him so much. They spent a lot of time together when she moved to Vegas.

My life is great. Things are calming down. I’m taking the part time nannies up to the lake house this weekend. Sarah wants to hang out in the city with her mom. They said they may drive up for a day just to check it out. There is some really good shopping close to my house.

I never knew my life would turn out this good. I love my boys. I don’t want to go back to work but I know I have to. I get all of next week off then it’s time to head back. At least I can come  home for lunch everyday and pitch in. Sarah said she will start taking them out in another month. She said 8 weeks is a good time for small adventures. We signed a contract for car service for her and the boys. It’s a 24/7 service in case I’m out of town and she needs to take them somewhere by herself. I didn’t want her driving and trying to worry about them. When they are older we will let the car service go and we will handle it ourselves.

Sarah and I had a long talk last week. I asked if she wanted me to buy her a condo or get her in an apartment. She said no. She’s not moving out. I asked what happens when you meet someone. She said she gets 3 days off and has time to talk with whoever during the day. It’s not something she’s looking for right now. I told her I’m not comfortable with her bringing  dates into my house, that I would not be doing that either once I start dating again. She said she wouldn’t either. I told her she’s like a daughter to me and she laughed and said I treat her like a kid sometimes and it was funny. I want her to have a great time with us. I do most of it myself. I want to. I don’t mind feeding, burping, diapers. It’s fun. I love watching my boys eyes while I’m holding them. They are perfect! This is the best time of my life! God is so good to me.

Have a great rest of your week. God loves you and I love ya’ll too!