Let the Packages In

For Lent I gave up online shopping. It really was a sacrifice since the pandemic is still ongoing, I had to figure out how to get all of our food, extras here. Plus I’m well known by all of our local delivery companies. Our boxes could build their own shipping hub. We do recycle every one of them so don’t worry. I’m very conscious about my carbon footprint in Denver.

Let me see. I tried out a weighed blanket last night for the first time. That was one of the packages we got yesterday. I slept so soundly. My insomnia has been visiting for a few weeks and I’m tired all of the time. That blanket held me down from the tossing and turning. I had it across my chest to start out. A few friends on Twitter told me not to pin my arms down under it. I followed their advice. I slept great. I can say I feel better. I need a few more nights just like that but I am pleased with my purchase.

I got my morning started and got the boys all in school. They are doing well. It can’t be easy sitting there all day in school but they are trying to finish up strong. The school year is a mere 7 weeks from being done. I know they can’t wait. I’m working on some fun summer travel plans. I want out of here for a while. We all need a real vacation. Not a Covid getaway.

I did a very cold but brisk walk with Kate. She’s on her spring break from work so we have time to get in some walking this week. We did a full 2 miles. I was proud. We are slowing working back to our 4 miles every other day pace. We did do a quick 1 mile yesterday. That was pretty fun. The rest of this week because I will be getting some snowy cold weather, she will walk and I will be at home doing Yoga/Stretching. I am working on that too. My lower back is trash. It will not release. I’ve tried everything. I finally realized I need to stretch in a routine on a weekly basis. That’s just how my life is going to be. It sucks.

Things are going well. We all finished our lunch and I’m getting ready to go play with my daughters. It’s so fun now that they are both grown up a little bit more. They are very talkative and I love watching them interact with each other. Peace Taylor is the boss, no doubt there, and she tells Sky what to do and what toy she can play with. I’m hoping they continue to be this close as they get older. I mean I have 5 kids, some of them will hopefully be LifeLong friends. I can only hope that’s how it works out.

I’m good. Kate is good. Kate is very sweet. She’s the best. Hope everyone is doing good too. Love you guys! Have a fun day. I got my new gaming mouse in a few minutes ago. I can’t wait to set it up and test it out tonight. Logitech makes some of the best gaming gear for Gamers. I know this mouse will improve my gaming.

No, not that school

For reason’s I’m keeping private (Except my family and a few friends) I moved my boys out of the school I put them in and today was their first day in the new Catholic school. Things didn’t work out in our first school, I’m happier, the boys seem okay?, and this is my decision. I did get a lot of advice yesterday as this decision was pretty much being made for me. It was a no-brainer moment. So now we are in a school that’s very close to our new house and I think this is how we will do it.

I tossed and turned all night trying to figure out if this was the best move for me. Is this better? Is this what’s best for the boys? We will see when I pick them up this afternoon.

Peace. My daughter Lol I swear everyday she proves more and more than she is 2 going on 25. I keep feeling left out of her school life. She finally did hug and kiss me goodbye today but that’s only because I had a hold of her little hand walking into school and I wasn’t going to let her run off this time. Someone said she has a “girl squad at school now”. I was mad Lol No she doesn’t! She’s my baby! And yet she acts like I’m just her ride.

So how is everyone else surviving school? How are your kids adjusting? Mine are doing okay. We are trying to get into a routine. I purposefully kept them out of school until after we moved and did give them an extra week here to get used to everyone. I felt it was too much to move and immediately get them into class. We started late from everyone else but I really don’t care. It was a good choice.

Ok I just found the color setting block on my WordPress software and apparently I can color the background here.

That’s interesting. If I ever get fancy maybe I can start coloring the sections I want to emphasize on each post. Don’t hold your breath. I need to go pick up Peace. Brenda our new part time nanny and Sarah are going to stay home with Sky. I’m going to pick up Peace and take her to eat. Then we will grab food to bring home to the girls.

I really am enjoying my afternoons just with my girls. I get to hold Sky and watch Peace play. Or when Sky is sleeping give all of my attention to Peace. I love it!

Have a great rest of the week guys! I love ya’ll!

2 blogs in 1 week, Wow

I’m going to try to blog more often. It really is hard to find time when I have my kids all by myself all day and night. When they go to bed I have to do the daily cleaning up and start responding to my text/tweets/messages/emails/all of it. I haven’t been watching much tv but I am getting excited for the new season of Game of Thrones. Also from the trash heap of my tv list I’m starting to record True Life Now on MTV Lol I friggin’ love that show. It shows so many different things I am not even aware of. The first on is 3 people obsessed with the Kardashians. I barely know who they are. I know there’s a Kim, a Mary?, Jenner? ummm I think the little one is Vanessa? I don’t care who they are. So this one will be interesting. I can’t wait to see the whole season.

Things are going great. I’m very happy to have my house back all to ourselves. I’m tired of all of the mess I have to clean up from my family. I love them but )*@#)(*$# those )*(W#$)(#$’ers don’t clean up after themselves. The dishes. The @#ERO)*(@#$ DISHES!

Kids are great, healthy, even though it has been cold. We are doing great. I’m doing great. Jesse the girl I have been dating is doing great. It’s nothing serious. Neither one of us want anything serious. I’m not ready and she works a lot.

And…..it’s almost time for our family vacation! I can’t wait to get out of here for a while. It’s coming up very soon. We all need it. The warm weather will be just what we all need.

How is everyone doing so far this year? I pray the government shutdown ends soon, I pray Trump goes away, and I hope whoever is going to run against him will win. Someone should take his cellphone away already, geez.

My New Year’s resolution this year is 1 thing, I am going to be a better listener to everyone in my life. It’s the one thing I’m not that great at, I tend to trail off into a thought if a story goes on too long. I need to pay attention. If I don’t I’m going to miss half of what my kids say and they are already talking up a storm Lol

Have a great week guys!

I sold out…then I hit pause

Because of the nanny situation I’ve decided to sell my app that I was working on to the software engineer that has been helping me create it. I know its monetary worth because I had it appraised and we agreed on a price I was happy with. And then…

I’m trying to deal with raising the kids on my own. I had a part-time nanny that would come in as needed. That did not work out at all. I’m here, trying to balance everything, and it just became too much. I had to choose. The app or the kids. I picked the kids. My kids have always been my dream. My career will be second to them always. I’m trying to get out of having a nanny. I want to figure out how to do the things I want to do and still raise my kids alone. I think that’s impossible at their ages. I know that in a few years they will be at school and I can continue on trying to find my next chapter. I kind of feel like I’m selling myself out or maybe I’m selling myself short. How many single parents have to actually go to a job 8 hours a day and still come home and do all of the family stuff. I can afford a nanny. I can afford several nannies but I don’t want that. I want to raise my kids.

Now a new idea has come up of having a live in nanny who can either stay in the house or stay in the guest house out back and would be available as much as I need. I could keep working on my app but limit the schedule down and mostly work from home. I could keep pursuing that dream and have the freedom to go to meetings and/or travel as needed for the app. I just don’t know. It’s complicated. I like my uncomplicated life. I’m thinking on it but how do you decide such a thing? I don’t need a nanny it’s more of a want so I can keep my app. But does this app mean that much to me? It’s a way to keep working. I’m not someone who can sit around and do nothing. I’m always needing to be busy.

How do you decide? I guess pray. The answer will come to me. I have plenty of time. I just have to figure it all out.

I just Jeff Lewis’ed all of my nannies and then hired a brand new one

I had a family meeting this morning with all 3 of my former nannies, Sarah, Heather, and Brandi. I decided not to re-hire any of them and hire a new girl. The reason is simple. I want them all to start on their nursing careers. I love them. God knows I couldn’t have done any of this without them but I know I’m holding them back. When we moved back to Chicago I wanted them to at least come on the weekends for a few hours so I can go to the stores. We started that but then I thought I’m ruining their personal time. I made it official. They are not coming back to work with me. They are family, they are welcome to visit, stay, hang out with us any time and some of them have. That’s where I need it to be. I don’t want to hold them back. Especially Sarah. She has a really great job and has done so well. I don’t want her to quit just for me. She said she would because it’s a lot more money for her. I don’t need a live in anymore. I just need someone a few hours a day. Maybe not even that. I told the new girl we can go day by day at first until we find the right schedule. She is not a nursing student or even a nurse. She is a full-time nanny.

We all were sad. It’s the official end of an era. And then….

I got a call last week from the adoption agency. They have a little girl who needs a home. I freaked out. I said no right away. I’m not ready. The truth is I was going to wait until January of next year to start the process all over again. I do know that it can take up to a few years for me to find a little girl. I’m not ready. I don’t even know if I will be ready in January. Right now I’m just focusing on my kids, taking time on myself. It’s going really well.

She is going to start tomorrow. Just for a few hours after supper to see the night-time routine. By that time of the day I’m fried out. I’m hoping this works out. I just need a little help here and there. This will also make it easier for doctor’s appointments.

Wish us luck!

Coming soon to a Batman blog near you, Okay it’s this one

This weekend was very relaxing. I didn’t have to wipe faces, change clothes, tell someone don’t do that 100 times. I enjoyed my break from the kids.

Aunt Lindsay took them on a 3 days adventure. They went swimming, to the play place, out to eat every meal, they even got to try a real corn dog. And Heston threw his Lol He hates hot dogs. Alex nibbled on the outside shell but didn’t eat the hot dog part. Peace ate 3/4 of her corndog and seemed to like it as I was told. They had so much fun they were crying when she dropped them off. They didn’t want her to go. She also bought them way too much shit. Way way too much. It’s ridiculous. She’s always been in a weird competition with Drew on what gifts my kids get. I don’t like it and it’s not healthy. They won’t stop. I get random boxes sent to my home with stuff for them. I’m not keeping score. I don’t care and I would actually like to buy my kids their own stuff. It’s kind of like I signed my kids up for a bi-monthly subscription box for the rest of their lives. Lindsay said she’s already saving up for their college living situations since she already knows I have their college funds filled up. I had to take Talon’s college fund and disperse it amongst the 3.

Speaking of Talon, I’m still not ready to talk about it. I’m getting a ton of questions. Obviously something happened and you can tell in June that I was barely blogging. My batfans are very smart. There will be a day where I get into it. From online, the only person I told what happened was Nyssa. She has been a loyal friend and fellow blogger. She has never told anyone else and I know that because it’s never gotten back to me. I do appreciate her very much for that. It makes me feel like I can trust her and that I can confide in her if I need to. Go read her blog! And don’t stalk her if you are one of my trolls Lol Some day I will write about it. Right now I can’t. I appreciate you being patient with it.

My ex-wife had decided once we move back home in 2 weeks we should start dating. How funny is that? I’m not interested at all. Ever. She had her chance. She blew it. We are friendly but I don’t talk to her. She emails me. I read it and delete it. I don’t respond. I told Jen what she said and she just laughed. Jen said she’s not so sure she’s getting rid of me when I move. Hmmmmmmmmmmm, interesting! The only reason I was going to break up with Jen is because we are moving. I’m not wanting a long distance relationship. It’s not fair to her or me and I’m still wanting to keep things casual. She understands the reasons. I told her when I visit Mike and his mom there’s a good chance we can go have dinner. She said okay. It’s still a discussion though.

Mike and his mom are going to buy this house. They are going to a bank today to get a loan. I was going to rent it but they both did a credit score check to make sure they can do it and they think they can. That’s a much better deal for me because it will get all of my money back I’ve put into this place. I’m not going to profit at all. I told them I just want the exact amount I paid plus all the repairs. They don’t have a problem with it. Look how that worked out. God is always taking care of me. It’s a solid house. His mom said it’s big enough they can both have their own living areas. The main floor will be the common area and they will be able to save money and get ready for whatever future they both want. I’m so happy for them. I hope they get a loan with a great interest rate.

What else? I dropped the boys off at school today and they were so excited. We saw one of their friends (Brian and his mom) as we were walking in. They were so happy and waved like crazy. They love school. It’s going to be so hard when we move back home. They will have to start all over.

This weekend we are taking a train ride up the mountains. I called Alex’s doctor to ask if he can physically handle it. He said yes because the train slowly goes up in elevation giving his body time to process the ascent. If he can do that train ride, then the following weekend I can fly home. Finally. This whole experience started out like a nightmare. I was so worried and blaming myself for not knowing what was going on. It’s a defect in his body and it had nothing to do with me. The guilt though, dang. I felt so helpless. He has been so brave and it shows me how tough my little guy really is. I’m so happy he’s feeling better and back to being himself. It’s been a journey for sure.

Hope everyone has a great week. I’m going to be doing a blog redesign soon. Okay I’m not. Lindsay is. I just pick out the theme and she customizes it. I’m getting rid of the sections I don’t want or need anymore. I’m also going more simplified. We will see the response to it. I will write again tomorrow. Bye guys!

I wrote this some time in the morning and forgot to post it. Whoops. Here you go.