I Wear the Apron in this Kitchen

I found that Apron photo and now I want to order it. It’s funny.

I am on a cooking frenzy this morning. I was up early thanks to Kate. I took a short nap and it’s been full steam ahead the rest of my morning. We have cleaned the entire downstairs, including mopping. I’ve done 3 podcasts of cooking segments for later this week. And now I’m working on food for today. I’m making my #Vegan Meatloaf recipe with Beyond Meat. It’s actually Beyond Meat’s recipe I found on their website. It looks pretty tasty. I hope it turns out for me. It sure smells good. You have to cook it for 45 to 50 minutes so I stuck it in the oven already. We are going to have 3 small side dishes with it. I like to balance my meals out so the kids get the things they need.

I am working on writing you guys back now. I’m sorry that takes so long but I get busy and honestly I do get lazy with it. I need to set a goal to do this once or twice a week. If you have sent me a message the last month, check your inboxes please. A reply is there. So many great questions. I love connecting with new friends. I love talking to my Batfans that have been with me along this ride in life. We have all really leaned on each other through the pandemic. My group chats are hilarious. You all are appreciated.

The rest of today is getting outside and enjoying the weather. It’s going to be 60 today. We have snow, YES, snow moving in maybe later this week so I’m trying to get the yard picked up. We did all of the twigs, branches, and things that have blown around in the yard, yesterday. Today we are working around the pool area. I had this huge pool cage thing put around my swimming pool that attaches to the back of the house and porch area. I’m tired of the bugs. They get really bad in the later summer, early fall time. This year we are going to try to mitigate that and really enjoy our pool. It’s the one things all of my kids enjoy together. I bought so really fun floaties, and an entirely new patio set. Aqua blue. It’s all coming this week. I ordered it from Lowe’s. It was on sale and they had it in stock. I hope I like all of it. The pool company is coming by tomorrow to check all of my pool equipment. It’s not time to put the water in yet but I want to make sure we don’t have any plaster issues. I’m hoping in the next few weeks we can pop my pool open. It’s practically an indoor pool now. And I ordered a bunch of fake palm trees. Yes, they make those. They are all made out of recycled material. I love the beach look and I found a company that will come and install all of it. They warned me the winds may rip some of it up. But they guarantee the trees won’t fall down. They anchor them into the group. I hope it turns out to look how I envision it. Sarah said my pool will be Instagram ready.

Speaking of the nannies, it is a lot better now that they all have their own homes. I did not think they would find places so fast. I’m very happy these women are out of my guest house. I love them, but we need space. The small bickering has stopped. The large snarky comments have stopped too. Everyone is getting a long much better now that they all get the full weekends off. It’s funny they still wander over here some times to see what we are up to. It’s me vs 5 kids, it’s mostly me wrangling them all day.

I love this part of my life. I’m raising my kids. Not by myself, but soon. I think as soon as Sky is in school, I may not need the nannies anymore. We have a 5 year exit plan for that. I want to really make sure I can handle all of them. And by next year, maybe I will have a mom for them. There’s always hope. I know my kids are begging for a mom. As I always say, I’m working on it.

Hope you guys have a blessed it Sunday. Mass was pretty good today. It’s the time of year for new awakenings and new explorations of faith and service. I hope all of us continue to stay healthy through these Covid times. It’s not easy. I know it’s been hard for us. I pray you all are okay. Love you guys!

Sunday is always Family Day

Boy do I have some updates to share. A lot has been going on, I have been extra busy and now I can finally tell you guys what’s been going on.

Brenda’s mom Lynn moved in for a few weeks to help us with the kids until my former nanny, Sarah, figured out what she was going to do. Sarah had her baby, a beautiful little girl named Rain. She does not know who the father of her baby is yet, but the only 2 guys that could be the dad have already been tested for DNA. The results will be ready in a few weeks. That’s a little nerve wrecking for Sarah. She loves being a mom. It was a huge surprise to all of us but I’m very happy for her. She will be a fantastic mom, she has been a surrogate mom to my kids and I have seen her motherly side. Sarah decided she wanted to move back to Denver. She enlisted her 2 best friends in Dallas and rented a huge SUV to make the trip as comfortable as possible. They left early yesterday morning and got her last night. Sarah will always be welcome with us. I have told her that for years. It was too hard for her to stay at her parents house. She said she wants her own life. She is not coming back here to be our nanny again. She wants to live in the guest house for a few months until she can figure out where to move to in Denver. She loves it here. She is FINALLY going to get a nursing job. She wants to teach nursing at the community college level which I think is great. So she is here, with her baby, and we are leaving her alone. The kids missed her soooooo much. The boys were crying and Peace kept grabbing her by the leg Lol It was cute. She is going to get her baby in the nursery and settled into a routine before she starts hanging out in our house more. She said she needs to be taken care of right now. I told her we will all pitch in to cook, clean, babysit while she showers or rest. It’s going to take a village. It always does.

My aunt is here. She decided to stay until next Saturday morning. She needed a break. She just got through a divorce and wanted to get away. I don’t blame her. My Uncle can be a little difficult to deal with. I pray they both resolve the lingering issues soon and then leave each other alone for a while. They need it.

And we just had a big family meeting. The plan we came up with may or may not work out. Here is what we are going to try to do.

Brenda and Lynn will be going home on Saturday morning. I am so appreciative of both of them for helping me out. They will be greatly missed. Sarah is staying a few months. When she can, she will pitch in and help me with the kids but I am not relying on her. I am finally going to be on my own with my kids. It was the plan since last year. I gave everyone months and months of notice. It is going to be hard. I want to do it. I quit my job and went part time to raise my kids. It’s that important to me. I have always wanted to be a dad. It took a long time for me to get here and now I want to do it.

I have a beautiful girlfriend who loves kids, she’s a teacher. We are kind of rekindling things after a huge breakup months ago. We are trying and it’s going very well. I know as soon as the borders open up I will travel up there and we can start all over again. I want a mom for my kids but more importantly I want a life partner. I want to be married again. We are going to take our time in building our relationship and I look forward to seeing how it goes. This is a huge step for me. I don’t date casually. I always have intention of things going into a serious relationship. I think I have finally met my match. I thought my ex-wife was it, but I realized after a year we were not on the same page in life. This time I have taken a LONG TIME to figure out what I need and want for myself and the kids. It’s the right time. I’m ready to start a big relationship. And I want it with her. I am happy. I am happier than I have been in a long time. Everyone is noticing it and commenting. I’m glad. I need all the support I can get, I do not have the best track record with women Lol

So how are you guys doing? We have the pool open already. The kids love it. They are swimming twice a day. It’s good to see how happy they are in the water. The swimming lessons they have all taken paid off. I’m doing the best I can to keep teaching them. I want them to be safe and I need to know they can get themselves out of trouble in the water if anything ever happens to them. Swimming to me is a life necessity. I think everyone needs to learn the basics.

We are playing a lot of baseball in the backyard. Guess who the best base runner is? Peace Lol She has picked it all up very fast. My goodness is my daughter smart. We are still doing a summer school program. It’s going well. I print off their worksheets in the morning. We spend about an hour each day on it and they like it. Education is key and my kids will go to college. I do not want them living life without a great education. That is priority #1. It’s giving us all a lot of bonding time and I really enjoy watching them figure things out.

Everyone is doing well. I hope you all are too. I have been fighting a bad headache all day. I think a house full of people, so much cooking, cleaning, and staying active finally caught up with me today. I crashed and burned. I’m feeling better now with 2 hot showers. My allergies are getting better but these migraines are impossible to deal with.

Take care of yourselves guys. Wear the damn mask. It’s only for a little more time, they will find a vaccine and we can be safe once again. Social distance until your local area says it’s okay. Please be aware there are guys like me out there trying to protect his kids at home from this crap. You wearing a mask means I have a less chance of contracting it and dragging it out home. I always wear a mask and gloves. I will until this whole thing is over with.

I will update more this week! Love you guys!

Upload that one Lol

Good morning Batfans. I’m still in Denver, Colorado. It has been an amazing weekend and I’m sad to have to leave later today. I’m taking my friends out for one last lunch together and then I’m flying myself back home. Boy has it been a big, fun trip. My house is coming along great. We had a few changes to the mistakes that were made and I’m happy to say in about 3 to 4 weeks my house will finally be done. It’s been a huge 4 month renovation. It’s been worth it. I know the school district is great and I’m going to be very happy raising my kids in Denver. It’s the right move at the right time.

Starting over can be scary if you let your fear win over the fun that it can be. I’m always up for an adventure. I’m a “Go For It” kind of guy and I really enjoy new experiences. I just want my kids to be happy and enjoy their new home. It’s a lot to ask of them to move, give up everything they have ever known, but I know it’s going to be okay. My safety net is being taken away. I have always had my 3 nannies to back me up whenever I needed help. Now, I’m all on my own. I’m finally going to really retire from everything. I want to focus on my kids and find myself a new business or a new hobby or something. I don’t know yet.

I thank God every day that I’m in such a great financial position. I don’t have to work. I always have because I don’t know anything else. I have already put money in all of my kids’s college accounts, I have a savings account for each one, and I have a large savings account in a completely different bank for anything else that comes up for them. My paychecks I get from Lindsay/mine businesses I throw into savings and some in checking. I’m fine. I’m more than fine. I give money to different charities each month because I truly feel with this much cash I need to help others. I have been known to help my friends that read this blog or from Twitter on small things. I tend to be generous in cash and love. I want my kids to learn it’s okay to help people. But only help with what you are comfortable with.

I did find a Church that I really like. The Mass wasn’t that long, they allow the children to be in the sanctuary as services are going on and I prefer that. I won’t have my nannies to take my kids down to Bible study while I’m at Mass. I want all eyes on them at all times. It’s going to be complicated at first but I can always pick up and leave if they don’t behave. For the most part my kids are well behaved. I give them a look and they knock it off. I’ve got that DAD stare down Lol KNOCK IT OFF, with my eyes. I signed us up for transfer so all of my records from our Church in Chicago will come here. And of course I’ve already got my box of envelopes for our family donations Lol I thought that was pretty funny.

I’m going home with a lot of plans to pack, sell, or donate a lot of our stuff. It’s time downsize. I don’t even know where to begin but I have a month to get it done. I’m so happy, guys. I really am. I mean I wish I had someone to share this all with but I’m happy to have some new friends that are looking forward to us moving out. It’s going to be so much easier to have some buddies to help me out when we get to our new home.

I better get myself going. I hope you all had a great weekend. I just uploaded videos and photos to our Family Facebook page. Go check that out. I took some great shots of Denver! Yes, the blonde hair is almost all gone. It’s fading away slowly. I won’t do that again, it was worth a little change. I think I will stick with my brown hair. I like it much better.

I will miss you Denver, but see you soon!

I’m lazy this morning

I slept in, finally. It felt pretty good. I didn’t even mind the pint size foot in my side when I woke up. I always end up with a kid or two in my bed in the mornings. I think they just want to be close to someone. We found a Catholic church that broadcasts Mass online so we watched that together in the living room. I did not kneel or do rosaries Lol It was very lazy. I didn’t want to. I just wanted to listen to today’s message and get it over with. That’s terrible I know but I’m not feeling it today. My nannies are finishing packing up all of their clothes. Crap I think some stuff is in the washer.

Okay. So now all of their clothes are ready to go. I took a few hour break in writing this one. They are leaving today. I am sending them off in a private jet home to Chicago. They will be moving back into their apartments. Sarah is going to pick them up at the airport and take them home. I thought that was very nice. When the cab comes to get them, that’s it. I will be all on my own with 3  kids. I hope I can do this. I have an interview later today with 2 people from a new babysitting service. I hope it all works out. I just need childcare as needed. Not a regular scheduled thing. I think I can do most of my errands and grocery stuff while the boys are in school. I can order online and go pick it up or just take my little Sweet Pea into the stores with me. She loves it. She’s very easy to deal with. I don’t have issues with her grabbing stuff (yet).

Jen is wanting me to bring my kids to a thing tomorrow night, that means she will officially get to meet them. I told her since we are only hanging out as friends okay. She agreed. The dates are fun but not intended to be romantically included. We stopped planning those type things when I realized I am not ready for anything serious at all. She’s been very cool with all of it. She says I’m a nice guy and there’s no pressure or anxious moments about what is going to happen or where is this going. I spelled it out early on and let her know I may be moving soon.

The big buffet yesterday was a huge hit. I’m definitely going back to that place someday soon. The pot stickers were delicious and I loved the egg rolls. I probably ate 5 of those myself. The kids loved it. The nannies were so full. Great place for a family to sit down and just gorge for a half hour or so. Loved it. I took a photo with the owners. It’s on our Family Facebook page along with several photos of our plates of food. Yes we plowed through all of that Lol I don’t even care, it was delicious.

Hope everyone is doing great. Have a lazy, lazy Sunday guys! I probably need to get dressed at some point. Walking around with no shirt and black basketball shorts is probably bad Lol

What are you talking about? They are ready for school. No they’re not Lol

Yesterday was all about the unpacking, laundry, grocery shopping, get ready for school, and spending a lot of time talking about school rules. No one helped, no one listened, no one cared. That’s what it felt like to me. My boys have concept zero about what a teacher is. They kept saying is she our mommy. No. She’s not the mommy or a mommy. Wait, I never asked her. Maybe she is a mommy. I don’t remember. You need to pay attention to what she says. She’s trying to teach you. She’s your teacher.

So I’m pretty sure on Tuesday which will be the first day I’m not there to watch what happens I will have to go pick one or both up within a half hour. My nannies have bets. And Alex is the one they think will be the issue. I really think it might be both. I pray it won’t be either. They are going to have to adjust. 2 hours will go fast, right? I’m thinking about all of the stores I can get to in the 2 hours. Can I get dog food, cat food, a few groceries? Can I get home, make up a special lunch and have it wait for when we get back home?

What do you do in the 2 hours you are without twin boys because they are at school? I have no idea. I thought, I will just take a nap. Then the thought of what if I don’t wake up in time. I can’t even attempt that. The school is 15 minutes from our house. That’s a half hour travel time in light traffic. So that leaves me an hour and a half. Wait, no I want to be there early to pick them up because I get the line to pick up the 2 hour kids gets filled up fast.

I just thought about this guys, I have to stay inside the cones Lol I’m that guy now! (Daddy’s Home movie reference there)

I have to figure this out. Last night I went out with Jen. I haven’t let her meet my kids yet. She has seen them from a short distance once but we have never brought her up close. They just sort of stared at both of us. I waved, and they kept staring. It was awkward.

We went to a dessert place, talked for an hour then I had to get home. She laughs at my stupid jokes, she touches my arm, she holds my hand while we walk. It’s nice and sweet. I’m keeping my guard up though because I know the possibility is that I’m going back to Chicago soon. We are NOT doing you know what. I did get those messages (Brad) and no. We are NOT going to be doing you know what. It’s not that kind of dating. I’m also not ready. I don’t know when I will be ready. Right now it’s not even a priority for me. (Brad) So stop asking Lol (Brad!)

This morning I have to get the troops up and get ready for Church. Mass is going to be a very good liturgy and I’m excited to hear it. Also it’s pancake day so I don’t even have to feed anyone here. We get to eat pancakes after the service.

The rest of my day is going to be chilling at home doing laundry and playing with the kids. I don’t have any other plans today. It’s going to be…wait for it…awesome.

I think I’ve been watching way too much How I Met Your Mother episodes. Dang, those nannies and the dvr full of that show!

Sunday into Monday

Let me think. Yesterday I was up early. Got breakfast together and made sure my boys had everything they needed. Then I took the girls to Church. Church was awesome like always. I always feel better coming out of Mass. I do like the Friday night mass serves in the city and sometimes we will go to that instead of Sunday. Depends on what plans we have. We went to Starbucks so everyone could get their favorite drinks. Then we headed home.

My plan was to stay in the boys all day and enjoy a nice relaxing man day. That almost worked out. I got changed and took the boys upstairs to show them some new things we have. We looked out of the windows at the lake and bounced on the bed a little. It can be hard to watch them when we do that. I probably should stop but it’s fun and they both laugh. Then it was time to make lunch so we went downstairs to see what everyone wanted. Sunday lunch was sandwich day. Fine be me that’s easy to do. I set everything out in a big buffet style line and got lunch for my sons. We got them set up and eating and then I made myself something. Everyone else ate when they wanted to. After lunch I cleaned up the kitchen took my dog out for a nice long walk and then came back in to read books to the boys and play with some toys we ordered for them. They are really getting around now. It’s funny how they switch from crawling to staggering Lol That’s what Sarah calls their walking style. It’s true they do stagger. I like it when one of them leans on my dog for support then he starts walking and they try to keep up with him. It usually ends in him ditching his brothers and them falling on their backsides in laughter. All a learning process.

My boys are both now referring to my wife as mama. It’s constant. She loves it and I can tell it really hits her heart. I’m glad she decided to work on that one. She is their mama and I’m so happy I have her in their lives. The girls went out to a movie. I stayed back to hang out. Then it was time to pack everything up and go. Before we left my wife wanted us to stop by this shop to show me something. We left Sarah in the Escalade with the boys (Doors locked) while we went in real quick. She showed me a big piece of art? (Sculpture?) or something she wants for the living room. I had to study it. I took a picture of it and really tried to imagine it on the wall. I asked where it would go and she said it would look great on the back wall so that everyone can see it from the doorway. There’s nothing on that spot right now and if she wants it okay. So I bought it. I told them I would pick it on Wednesday since I have a meeting near by and they said they would wrap it up and hold it in the back.

Then I gave my wife a big public kiss for being so thoughtful and sweet. She giggled and blushed then smacked me Lol I don’t do that often enough. She is kind of shy about PDA but sometimes it’s fun to see her reaction.

We got on our way home and decided it was pizza night. It’s just easier. The girls stopped and picked up our order while we went the rest of the way home. I got the boys upstairs, the dog upstairs after his fit in the elevator. He wanted to stay with me and decided he needed to howl at me Lol It was hilarious. He’s half beagle so I assume that’s where that, is it called baying? comes from. The boys laughed. He doesn’t do that often. I told him I would take him for a walk in a few. That seemed to calm him down.

Then it was hauling all the stuff up to the condo. The nannies left their stuff in their car thank goodness. They buy so much stuff every time we go up there. I guess the sells were really good and since the weather is about to change (Again) it was time for spring clothes. I got all of that done, took my dog for a walk and then went up to eat pizza with everyone. My boys love pizza. We cut it into really tiny bites for them but they get sauce everywhere. Vegan pizza really does taste better than the regular pizza most people enjoy. I think it does anyway. My wife usually has 1 slice of my pizza because she says she likes the dough crust. She really is great about me and the boys being vegan. Although she does let them try things more so than I would. I’m not trying to deprive them of carnivore stuff. I just prefer for their regular meals they eat healthy. And who can resist giving a baby a small bite of a new food. The day Heston learned about real ice cream I thought his mind was blown. He took a lick and he was hooked Lol He grabbed my wife’s hand like he was claiming her ice cream cone and started licking and trying to bite it. It was so funny we put that video on my Facebook and got a lot of really funny comments on it. Alex doesn’t like ice cream which is weird. He likes fruit. He loves strawberries the most.

I think we ate almost all of the pizzas. It was time for the nannies to all go home. We talked about our trip to the Wisconsin Dells this coming weekend. That will be fun. I don’t know if we can put Heston in the pool with the cough he had last week but if he’s fine by Wednesday when his meds are finished up I think it would be okay for a little while. There is so much more to do there anyway. The following weekend we will be going back to Nebraska for a family trip. It’s that time again to haul the boys back to see my relatives. I’m so glad it’s getting much easier to fly with the boys. After a few trips we have figured out what works with them.

I hope everyone has a great work week. So happy you are here. Make sure to have fun and check back soon for some awesome updates!

Love ya’ll!

P.S. Ran a spellcheck and this is the first time there were no spelling errors Lol Gold star for me today!

The coughing is almost gone

Thank you for all the nice messages about Heston. His cough is better. It’s not completely gone and we have him on meds. I pray he doesn’t have allergies like I do. I think it’s just a combo of some things and we are very happy that Alex did not catch it. Yet. I hope the medicine clears everything up and we don’t start passing this one around. We did that last year and I don’t want to go through that again. Everyone got sick in consecutive sections. This is why I make sure to take my vitamin C pill every morning. To help my immune system.

Yesterday I had a very chill day at the house. I didn’t leave. I wanted to be with Heston because he wasn’t feeling well still. He is much better and we had a low-key play on the floor kind of day. He did take a few extra naps and that’s okay right now. I think Alex loves it when he gets me all to himself. He always wants me to hold him and he starts touching my face all over. He’s studying me. Trying to figure out my words I think. He is my little restless boy. He is happy in general but he is always the one crying over things. Heston doesn’t very often. It’s really weird how different they are. The older they get the more they look exactly the same. We do the same baby haircut on them. I’m not growing their hair out. I’ve seen that before on boys and no thanks. It’s just not our style. My wife wanted to grow it out a little and I said no. I change my hairstyle monthly so I know what I like for my boys. Their fine blonde hair doesn’t really show much of a cut yet anyway. I know their hair will thicken up in the next 2 years it’s just in a transitional phase Lol

The ladies went shopping, to a play, to more shopping then I gave my wife cash and told her to take everyone out to eat and bring me back something, please. When they are all getting along and everyone is happy I try to do all I can to keep that going because it doesn’t last long. The trouble isn’t with my wife and Sarah. I really thought that would b the toughest relationship. The trouble is with the 2 part-time nannies and my wife. She expects a great deal out of both of them on the weekends to give us a little time off. They both work 12 hours shifts and they make their own schedules. Whatever they choose that’s what they choose. I don’t have a preference. I just want 24 hour coverage for my boys. When I’m being greedy and want time alone with my boys the girls struggle with that. They are getting paid to do whatever we want. So if I say go shopping they always do a check in a few times to make sure they don’t need to come home. They don’t want to take advantage of the situation. I reassure them we are all fine, I just want alone time because I work and travel so much. I want to actually raise these boys. I don’t know how my parents did it. I don’t want to go out with my friends on weekends or party it up anymore. I get off work happy to be going home to a family. My family. I want every spare second with my boys and I struggle more to have time for my wife. She knows that I try very hard to balance it all out. And let’s be honest, gifts help Lol We don’t fight. Well at least not yet. We are still very much in the honeymoon phase and can’t get enough of each other. She is much better at making efforts, small affections, and time for me. And here we are wanting another child so soon after my boys. I know I’m not Batman (yet Haha) but I still try to save the world. Well actually I try to save myself from the world that never stops.

The truth is some days I feel like a complete failure. I drag myself home at 8pm, my boys are already in bed getting ready to fall asleep. Which means I only get a half hour or so with them for the day. That never makes me happy. I eat a quick supper. Sit on the couch and find out how my wife’s day was. Then I get a full report from Sarah on what happened with the boys, she goes home to the condo next door and I internalize how working so much isn’t worth it anymore.

I have built an empire. It’s a well oiled machine run by Lindsay’s ambitions and my loyal employees. 9 years I’ve been building this thing. And truth be told I’ve spent my entire life working for this. My years in the Marine Corps taught me so much. That’s probably why I still wake up so early in the mornings. Believe me I’d much rather be in bed but my mind won’t shut off and I can’t just flip on the tv anymore. I have a very beautiful, very sleepy wife that does sleep all night. I don’t want to wake her up. I already feel guilty the times I roll out of bed quietly and accidentally wake her a little. A kiss and a go back to sleep usually does the trick. My businesses run themselves. Lindsay is taking more and more control of things. She’s doing a great job and I knew she would. When she sold her own business after 12 years of running things I knew she was very serious about partnering up. Who knew she would have saved up so much cash to really buy into my company. I knew she was always well off because we always fought over who paid for what but I guess I wasn’t paying that much attention to the things she owns. Not leases like the rumor mill started a few years ago.

I will retire at the end of this year not because I can’t do this anymore. It’s all about my children. My dad was never home and never there for me. I don’t want to be that guy. I want to be present and accounted for, daily. I want to have dinner with them, ask about school and be able to take and pick up from school. I want them to know, not just realize but really know that I’m there for them. I am going to do something. I haven’t figured it all out yet. But I am going to do something with a much lighter schedule. I would love to go to Culinary school. I just don’t think my hand can do it. It has been so damaged it’s getting harder and harder to open and close it. It’s my left hand that’s bad and being left-handed I won’t be able to control my knife skills or stir or anything as well as everyone else. My wife has encouraged me to go talk to a chef school and ask them to just give me some basic things to test my hand out. She said if it’s so bad I need to start occupational therapy or something to help make it better. I was doing great last year with it. That’s because changing diapers a million times a day, you get your dexterity going. And within the next year and a half maybe, the boys will be potty trained and we will have fewer things to change or clean up. Just a quick sidenote, you read all of these baby books and my boys do not follow the timeline these books say they will. We are either very early on growth and progress or we are very late. And having twins they don’t do things the exact same days like I thought. It’s close but Heston is usually the first one to do something brand new. I think he teaches Alex more than we do.

I want to be with my family. I want to devote time to my wife so we don’t have marital problems. I’ve seen so many of my friends get a divorce. I can’t judge them for making that choice because I can’t imagine that would be easy. What I do know is that I don’t believe in it and I have no plans to screw up my life so much my wife doesn’t want me anymore. She keeps saying that I’m too perfect. I’m not. Far from it. I am decent and I’m a good man. I want the very best for everyone. Most of all I want my boys to do good things in this world. Whatever that may be. They came into this life having me as their only parent. Now they have a mom and 2 parents who adore them. From that we now have extended family and 1 set of grandparents that love the fact they don’t have to share us with any other family on holidays. They get us anytime they want. That’s one of those sad bonuses about my folks not being here. I think about that sometimes. Would I ever let my boys even meet my dad? I’m sure I would. Would I ever let my mom take them overnight to her house? No. Not if she had stayed with him. I think about my folks more now than I did in the past 13 years. I miss my mom. I really miss my grandmother. She was, is, and will forever be my hero. She is why I’m this way. She is the reason why I feel lost sometimes. She was my guiding light and without her here I am heartbroken. She would have loved that I had the boys and got married. She would have been right there for all of it.

Family is all we have. You don’t always get along but I’m starting to realize, if you do right by your own family, you will do right for everyone else. I love my wife and boys with all of my heart. I plan to have another chill day at home. And when the ladies wake up breakfast will be ready for them. Because cooking is how I say I love you. And them enjoying it is how I know they love me too.

Have a great Sunday everyone! The boys will not be going to Church this morning. Brandi will be staying home as long as we bring back her blessed Starbucks Lol We will be going home around 5, our usual time. My dog is up I need to go take him out. I will update more tomorrow.

God loves you and I love ya’ll too!