The Cubs aren’t the only one taking a Big Swing today

Last night I had a bunch of family and friends in town. We all watched the Cubs game at my condo and snacked on all kinds of good food. Some of my cousins liked the vegan dips I made. Some didn’t. My Uncles and Aunts just wanted to go to bed so we sent them back to the hotel for the night. Today everyone is out shopping and enjoying the city. When I get off work I’m taking everyone out for a nice family dinner and then they will be on their way back to their homes. My family is big and coordinating events is always a pain in the butt. I’m glad they are here. It’s important for my boys to know everyone. I did dress them up in their Halloween costumes for a 2nd time because I thought their costumes were hilarious. For my twins first Halloween costumes I decided to do Mario and Luigi. They both had on the plumbers outfits that was just a onesey in the 2 colors and then I put hats on them that had of course they kept yanking off. I did manage to get some awesome photos of them in the hats. Everyone laughed and loved it. After they all got to take pictures with them I changed them into their cubbie shirts for the game. My boys went to bed around 8:30 and we all tried really hard to keep it down. We did wake them up twice yelling at the tv and talking too loud. I know I’m a bad daddy for that but it’s the World Series. We were all excited.

Tonight is Game 7! I did not think the series would go to this game 7 so I’m happy and worried. Last night the runs kept coming in and then the Indians came back a little and that Uh oh panic sets in. This time the game finished strong and the win was hopeful. All we talk about at the office is the Cubs. It’s so exciting to everyone. I’m happy to live here and be able to watch it with my family. The entire city is going to go crazy tonight when we win. And if we lose, it’s another disappointment, another missed opportunity, and a heartbreaking end to an amazing season.

Lindsay has been a huge help wrangling everyone around. She does her best to keep her temper in check until something stupid happens then she just walks away and you can’t find her. She helped me feed everyone last night then helped Sarah get the boys to bed while I was cleaning up the kitchen with my Aunts. I forgot how much my family eats. I swear I had a fridge full on Sunday now I need to go to the store tonight and pick up more food. I thought about having food delivered but getting pizza at dinner time during the World Series is a few hour wait at some of our favorite pizza delivery places. I told them I will pick up food and bring it home. That’s the best I can do. Lindz and I will get off work at 4 and go hit the 3 places to pick up the things we need and head back home. I hope it’s enough. It’s like watching goats eat a pasture. You check an hour later and nothing is left on the tables Lol

Heston is the first to try to push himself up to stand. He hasn’t stood yet. We work with both of them to stand and help them learn to walk. No one has done it on their own yet. Sarah said we need to get their legs strengthened for it so we work on it every day. No first words either unless Gababagabagaba is a word. That’s what it sounds like anyway. I hope Dada is their first words. I really do. I’m dying to hear it. I say it a million times a day to them trying to teach them. Sarah said the first word might be Hi since we all say that a lot too.

This weekend I decided to take everyone up to the lake house. I want to start decorating it for thanksgiving and Christmas. I have some things but I need to buy a lot more. The girls said they will help me shop for stuff. I want Christmas lights on my house. I want to buy out Hobby Lobby and get crazy with it. I want my boys to always love Christmas and enjoy the traditions we will have. I’m a real Christmas tree guy. I recycle it afterwords but I love the smell of it. There is nothing like a real tree. I’ve had the store trees before and it’s just not the same.

I went ahead and deleted about 600 pending comments. I haven’t gotten to them in months and I won’t get to them anytime soon. Thank you all who wrote a comment and shared a thought but sorry I’m not publishing or answering them. The good news is it’s a clean slate right now so you can start all over. I will get to the new ones if Lindsay doesn’t delete them all.

I’m going to finally open up about a few things. It’s frustration at this affair that won’t seem to go away. I don’t understand why people continue to be interested in me at all. So here’s a few things I want to say.

Yes I am aware for a 3rd season in a row Meri is still talking about our affair and lying. She is sticking to the fake catfish story yet again and it’s disappointing to me she can’t move on from it. I know they need ratings and I know she is trying to cover up all of her lies about the voicemails and how she really felt about me. However I’m not going to watch it. She has lied so much I don’t think me adding to it will do any good. She is never, ever going to admit the truth. Even when her own daughter knows and openly criticizes her for not being honest and hiding a lot of what really happened. The truth is I moved on a long time ago. I don’t talk about it because it’s in the past. The internet trolls are still playing their insane games and trying to solve some great mystery about me. Instead of just asking me or Lindsay anything they make up, create, and completely lie to create stories about my life and Lindsay’s life. The truth is Jackie Overton has never met Meri Brown. The truth is Jackie Overton is not a catfish and has nothing at all to do with any of this. She has moved from Oklahoma and is working hard at her job, living a good life and really pissed off that the tabloids and the internet trolls continue to lie and throw her name into this scandal.

The truth is there never was a catfish. Never. I had an affair, I ended it, I stayed away from Meri. She continued to contact me, continued to try to get ahold of me and ask to see me. I refused so she got scared and lied. She claims I’m a catfish yet she refuses to say a name. She offers ZERO proof at all. She gets all red-faced and makes no sense in her stories. Many times she makes stuff up on the spot. She has never had 1 person back up her stories and her family fell apart after they found out she cheated. She latched onto the story that was made up by the trolls and sold it to her family, her friends, and her fans. All in an attempt to cover up the truth. That we had a real affair. We met, we were in love, we had sex, and we wanted to be together. She was leaving her husband and family for me. We broke up and she is still living a quiet life alone. She doesn’t get the attention she wants, she obviously can not let go of how she feels about me and will do anything in her power to ruin me and my life. She has her trolls attack me daily, still. The good news is the troll group has dwindled down to 6 or 7 people who continue their online bullying.

Please keep in mind if you do a search on Twitter with my @notbatmanyet you will read and see the kind of things the people say about me. It’s disturbing. These are horrible women with no lives. They have attached themselves to a tabloid rumor and want to continue to feed off of it because they have nothing better to do but be mean. The truth is these trolls have caused so many problems in their own groups they can’t get along, can’t work together and only bash anyone that disagrees with them. The trolls have accomplished nothing. They have nothing to show for over a year of cyberbullying me, Jackie, and Lindsay. The sad part is that these women put so much effort into something that is none of their business. The affair was between Meri and I. No one else. Lindsay and Kendra were privy to a lot of information about what was going on. That’s it. No one else knows the full story. Anyone that came in after the fact is making shit up. That part can be frustrating. I have learned over the past year to ignore and block the trolls. They don’t have anything positive to add or say. They never ask me direct questions. All they do is hammer away at one idea and offer no proof on anything they say. Most of what is out there is all fake and lies. The real truths get overlooked and hidden. Why is that? The entire time everyone has heard me say over and over it was an affair. Why not investigate that? There were hotels we were at, restaurants we ate at, places we were seen together, a lot of people she met with me standing right there. There is so much proof yet no one looks at it. And Lindsay and I just laugh and laugh at all of the mistakes and lies the trolls make.

What all do you know about me? What I have said here about my life or what some tabloid wrote about me when the writers of the articles have never once spoken to me? See why I continue to maintain this blog? Because my story and my truth is right here. Anytime the show gets back on the air I sell a lot more of my books. I get a lot of hits to my website that makes me an enormous amount of money. And I also get my side of the story out there. A lot of people watched last season and saw the lies Meri was trying to tell. They also saw how TLC was editing the show to prove that Meri will lie to her husband to avoid getting into trouble. She is more of his assistant than his wife. I’ve said that for over a year now. And watch the show this season. Will that change? Will they grow closer after she cheated and lied to him? Or is he still distant and spending time with everyone, except her? You will see from day 1 I told ya’ll she was lying. And more of her lies will come out.

I would like everyone to leave me and my kids alone. We have a great life. I’m very happy. They are healthy and I ask you respect our privacy. I also know no one is going to do that so keep commenting. You will continue to be ignored, blocked and have nothing to show but your own hate and anger at a situation that is none of your business. I’m happy to answer questions. I have done my best to always be open and honest. I’m glad that things are quieting down and I pray that Meri finds happiness. The stories about her dating a guy in Hawaii are bs. She is talking to someone on the phone and texting him but it’s not that guy Lol All has been confirmed. I’m happy she found a new guy to talk to. She needs that. Don’t believe me? All Kody has to do is go look at her cellphone bill from Verizon. The proof is right there. Will he? Nope because he wants to continue to live a life of stuffing his head in the sand. He doesn’t care. I pray everyday that she leaves Kody. He is toxic to her. He doesn’t fulfill her life in any meaningful way anymore and he will continue to ignore and distance himself from her. He is not a good guy like he wants the world to believe. He is a verbally abusive, controlling guy that wants to justify 4 marriages when that’s not at all what it has turned into. What part of his religious life does he want to share with everyone using a tv show? There is barely any mention of it anymore. The focus has become what can this family do to peak interest and get ya’ll to watch them so they can keep cashing checks and not do any real jobs to become active members of society. Yes fame can be fun I guess. But when the show is over, who will they become? And how long until the money is gone. If you put your money in the hands of a non-college educated person and a money hungry 2nd wife, how long will that last you when you have more bills/taxes to pay than you can afford. They are all setting themselves up for a huge drop. It’s coming sooner than they think. And I hate to see it happen. I think the Brown family could have done so much more with this opportunity but they coast by with minimum responsibility to a show and a tv network that is their lifelines. The greatest indication of how much polygamy does not work for this family is NONE of their children want to partake the lifestyle. That tells me right there how bad growing up with Kody as an abuser and dictator has been. If he has to actually go out and get a real job in the next year or 2, who will even hire him? What can will he put on his resume the last 7 years of his life?

And yet I’m the bad guy Lol I have taken a lot of shit for months. It’s been very unfair yet I continue to say nothing and be graceful. I don’t know what led me to finally say something but it feels good to get some of this off of my chest. I have taken full responsibility all along for the affair. I knew she was married. I knew she was still in the family. I should have asked her to leave then gotten with her. I should have backed off. I was in love. I fell completely in love with her. I won’t ever apologize for that. But when will Meri ever take responsibility? When will Kody? Why is it all my fault when she was actively pursuing me from day 1. The voicemails she left on my phones do not lie. She was not forced to say or do anything at all. She was not threatened in any way. She was never asked to send naughty photos or do anything outside of her comfort level. She willingly continued the affair for months because she was so happy. And then we broke up. I stayed away from her refusing to talk to her and she got pissed. Then she got revenge. That’s all that happened here. Watch what I continue to do with my life and businesses and watch his. It’s no wonder to me at all that Meri found me and fell in love. Because I have always had more to offer her than working for someone who no longer cares and just wants the money she can make. He takes all of the money and divides up as needed. He does not dole it out to what each wife actually makes filming the show. That causes a lot of resentment and fights. There is so much more I can open up about since I was close to Meri for months. She confided a lot to me and I think it’s time I finally start talking about that. She deserves better. I hope she leaves Kody. I will always stand up for myself on this subject and continue to state the truth. There was no catfish. Not at all. Meri lied.  And I can’t wait to see what her life will become once she is finally free from that douchebag.

Just sayin 😉

What gum did I chew when I was a kid?

Just sat down to start typing this out and my kids woke up. Sat down again and the dog needed out. I think everyone is all settled now for a little while. I’m up late. Which is normal but instead of sleeping like I normally do I’m trying to get things caught up. I am very behind in my work emails. It’s bad. In fact it hasn’t been this bad in a months. Thus causing all of the stress in my life. I’m fielding phone calls about work and because I haven’t read all of my emails I have no idea what people are talking about. They all say the same thing, “Well it’s in the email, didn’t you read it?” Insert long deep breath in and fiery ball of exasperation out. No! I haven’t read my emails. No I am not up to date and no I don’t know what you are talking about. Calm, kindness, patience. All things I am trying to do a better job of.

So a friend of mine, she’s female, oh yes and just a friend, called and started talking to me about a very random topic. Then she remembered that I had pissed her off June 7th, 2012 at 8:17pm and decided to rehash that fight all over again Lol It wasn’t that exact date or time but it sure felt like it. So she started up the exact same way she did before and I sat there and listened to her going off on me, again, and did remember that’s what she said the last time about this. The problem is she feels or felt, no it’s definitely still feels, that I have taken the side of my buddy Chewtoy. That’s his nickname and I can not write on here how he got it because it’s both Rated R and disgusting. So Chewtoy did something to her, I was expected to handle it. I didn’t because I honestly didn’t even know what he did until she told me and then when I did find out I still didn’t do anything up to her expectations. Now I did go over to his house, not a dog house, and ask him did you do _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ with her _ _ _ _ _ _? He said sort of. I took that as yes. I told him to fix it and I left. In guy talk that was the proverbial, you’re an A-hole, don’t do that again warning. I think she expected me to go punch him out but that’s not my way anymore.

Apparently it’s Lindsay’s way still because she punched a girl tonight in the mouth according to her and Ben’s 2 very different versions and they are patiently waiting for the police to come get her from her home. She said she deserves it and was happy to do it again if the situation came back up. I just shake my head because it’s always something from her. Oh and it is never her fault, not even this one Lol Getting back to my story. My friend chewed me out, I listened, I apologized without any real meaning of sorry behind it and she said she would talk to me later. That is the moment I often want to hit the Block Caller button on my IPhone but I also realize that never works because even when you do block a number, the person can still leave you voicemails and it goes to a special place in heck in your phone called Blocked Voicemails Lol Meaning you can still listen to it and out of human curiosity you will listen. I know this because my ex-girlfriend was blocked, she’s unblocked now, and left me ohhhhhh about 5 blocked voicemails in a row a few weekends ago. She had a lot to say. She was hurt. I listened to all 5 then deleted them without responding to any of it. Ignore is my policy. Ignore the blocked caller and I can pretend she is fine now. Which she is. She just wanted to vent at me. Or actually on me because by the 3rd voicemail I was no longer a topic it turned into “Why do all the men in my life treat me like this!” Maybe it’s because you leave blocked caller voicemails on your exs cellphones?

Lindsay is still working on getting the photos page up. She is making the Call Log page also. It will have all 1560 phone call details from the entire affair. Yeah, I was shocked too. Together we made a combined 1560 calls Lol And out of that came 233 voicemails that I made public. Now there are a lot more voicemails. Some are in the Rated R section because they are dirty Lol Very dirty. And not appropriate to be out in the public. Still shocked to realize that many calls. Wow. It’s a wonder I kept getting chewed out for not answering my phone or calling back with that large amount of call volume! 1560 calls in between us wasn’t enough, I guess Lol

My boys 3 month check up went great. They are now 13 pounds, 25 and a half inches long each. They are wearing 6 months old clothing already. We sort of zoomed right past the 3 months outfits. We did put them on for I think 2 weeks, but they are getting big. So big I struggle now to carry the diaper bag and both boys by myself. The car seats with baby in each is cumbersome and it does make it a challenge to get them downstairs.

We did not go to the lake this weekend because I have way too much work to get done. If I would have went there nothing would be done. I am probably looking at another 4 hours of work here. I better get back to it. I just needed a little break.

I was asked what my favorite gum was as a kid. It was fruit stripes. I would shove in 3 pieces at a time. Random but okay. There is your answer 😉

Please say a prayer for my friend’s mom. She had a heart attack today and needs prayers. I sent one up the moment I heard. God bless my friend and her family. It is scary.

God loves you and I love ya’ll too!


Dropping bombs, all kinds today


Today has been tough. I didn’t get much sleep last night. My boys are a lot more active and want to stay up longer after the night diaper changes or night time feedings. It’s really hard. I’m exhausted this week. Every one that has spoken to me on the phone the last few days has been yawned at or at the very least heard my sleepy daddy voice Lol This is really hard. This is not easy. Sarah is beyond exhausted. She had to call in one of the part-time nannies today she said for a few hours just so she could take a shower and a nap. We have to take them into the doctor tomorrow morning for a 3 month check up. I’m really hoping we can finally get rid of the dang dietician lady. She was assigned to us and I willingly accepted her advice and help when Alex wasn’t gaining weight. Now he’s a chunk and I want her gone. She is nice, but she nitpicks every single thing I do or say about their formula. She says she is only “letting me use vegan formula” because I have proven its good stuff and she called the manufacturer herself to verify what I had told her was accurate. She is seeing the benefits of using it but she still thinks they need regular formula. Well if there was a medical reason, absolutely, I would switch them both right away. But we have been there, done that, and we are okay now. She sent me an awesome email and I kind of told her off in my reply back. I did say sorry I think somewhere in there that I am really tired but I disagree with half of what she said. She waited a half hour then called me at work. Then chewed at me for 5 minutes about the benefits of this and that and told me to think on it. I said okay thanks and hung up right away. That was me trying to be nice but I really wanted to just hang up on her! If Alex is fine, she is gone as of tomorrow.

Then Lindsay Lol I swear it is ALWAYS Lindsay that grinds my headache into a pounding migraine in a few minutes. She sent out a mass email to all of our upper executives about what her plans are for the next 2 months and why she will be taking money out of everyone’s budgets to feed into her latest project, the one I’m scared to go forward with. She said she made an executive decision and if she’s wrong she will pay it back. This came out of nowhere this morning. I tried calling her she answered and said “Yeah, hi swamped here call laters” and hung up on me Lol She only does that when she knows I’m about to go off on her. So I left the office. I called up my buddy Josh and asked what he was doing for lunch. He said he was playing hooky from work today to watch the Cubs game so I said I’m grabbing beers for you, a salad for me and coming over. I hid out there the rest of the day until the game was over. Then I went home. After I got my boys settled I took a longer shower, a really long shower. The kind you just stand there with the hot water pouring all over you and you don’t move at all. I was probably in there for a half hour. I think I wanted to cry from stress but I held it in. Or I was so tired my tears melted before they flew out of my eyes and the water dissolved them.

I am really stressed out this week. And I don’t know what to do about it. I am working out like a beast trying to get some of the pressure off but that is only making me more tired.

Then Josh called and asked if I wanted to come watch the next Cubs game at a bar with some buddies of his and Sarah overheard me talking about it and went off on me. Actually used an F-bomb at me for skipping work and not coming home. And she is 100% right. I was selfish, she needs help, I could have taken that 3 hours from work and went home to watch the game with my boys. She was really pissed. Hold on let me go out and ask her a mundane question to gauge her temperament.

Yep, still pissed Lol I asked her if she knew what the weather would be like tomorrow she said Why don’t you go ask Josh. Can a nanny put you in the dog house? If so, I’m there tonight.

Bombs everywhere tonight! I need to eat dinner. I haven’t even done that yet.

So we are putting the photos page back up. It a page not a post. I’m supposed to mention that because everyone will be looking for it in the posts. Here is the link for it. Yes it is blank right now because Lindz is looking into Photo Plugins that will organize all of the photos and make it look cool. That’s all I care about. I want to be able to write a label on each one to explain them. I have so many photos no one has ever seen. And it’s time to let that out there. Has anyone noticed every single time something gets said by the other side publicly I have a response to it? With more proof, more info, and more questions being answered.

Also, the NBC interview is/was a TLC thing for that show she is doing next. They wanted my response. So I gave them one. I answered about 15 questions for the producer lady. She was nice and respectful. Then she began hounding me. She wanted more info more this and that. So I called my lawyer to ask what to do. He said he would look into it and call me back. Yes, NBC is working with TLC on a new series. Yes NBC News really does want to do an on camera interview with me. But so does FOX and CBS now. So we are getting more info gathered up because the last thing I want to do is ANYTHING for TLC. I would like to insert the same word Sarah used on me earlier tonight, right here

_ _ _ _ No!

I will do nothing to help TLC at all. Look at what they have done to my life. And do you really believe they are going to let me actually tell my story and not edit me into whatever version they need this to be? Come on, ya’ll. Even if NBC News is contracted with them to do it, TLC still has the ultimate control over it all and my lawyer said put a pin in it until he can make some calls. We have been emailing back and forth for a few days prior to this exchange. CBS and FOX are local affilates just wanting a short interview they will splice together, not a big sit down like this NBC offer is.




  • Samuel Cooper <>
  • May 18 at 3:47 PM
  • P*****, P******* (NBCUniversal)

Message body


I did not catfish Meri Brown. I did not catfish anyone else either. There are a lot of false stories. Think about who the source is that you got the information from before you believe anything. Just Sayin 😉

The reason why I held on to this last set is because it tells why we broke up. I had begun working incredibly long hours. It was too much for me and for her. I wasn’t able to talk to her very often or even see her like we had been doing. We started doing Facetime and Skype to stay in touch when it had been a few days since we saw each other. But I couldn’t get work caught up. I tried to do my best to stay in touch. She was pretty upset. I was upset that she was upset. And we began to bicker. Often about not having time for each other. We both had gotten so used to spending all of our free time together. This was not what we had promised to each other. I didn’t realize my work was going to happen like this. I was stressed out, she was missing me. And it a very hard time on both of us. Mostly her because she just missed me. It was very unfair to her.

195th Voicemail July 9, 2015 10:32am
Um, I just hope you’ll trust me. Okay? I’ll talk to you later.
196th Voicemail July 10, 2015 10:51am
There’s that comment, hey I’ve got to take this call. Okay. I love you I’ll talk to you later, okay. Bye.
197th Voicemail July 10, 2015 9:14pm
I love you babe. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.
198th Voicemail July 12, 2015 6:38pm
I need to know where you are babe. I need to get in there and see you. Okay? Give me a call. Come on answer my phone. Alright? I love you?
199th Voicemail July 13th, 2015 3:51pm
Hey, just give me a call, okay? I love you. Bye.
200th Voicemail July 14th, 2015 1:12am
I was just trying. I was doing everything that you wanted me to do. So.
201st Voicemail July 15th, 2015 8:31pm
Samuel. I don’t know if you are even going to get this message or you are even going to listen to it but I really need you to hear me out. I need you to stop doing this. Please. I am here for you for whatever you need whenever you need it and you know that. I have done this. The whole time. I am here and you are not sharing with me. You are not opening up to me and you just keep shutting me out. I don’t know what you need unless you open yourself up to me. You can’t just call me and say what are you doing? And I start sharing with you what you are doing and then your just shutting me down. I don’t know what that is all about. I don’t understand this. I love you. You called and say you just have a couple of minutes what are you doing and I start telling you and you are like Oh, okay, well nevermind, okay, bye. And then like I needed help but nevermind. That’s fine and I’m like babe just tell me what you need. I can’t read your mind. I can’t read your mind. I try. I try so hard but I just can’t do it I’m doing my very best. Baby, gosh. Tell me what you need. Tell me how I can help you. Tell me how I can be there for you. That’s all I want. Okay? You just need to open up to me. I love you. And when you hang up the phone on me and you just run away and don’t say anything. God, baby.
202nd Voicemail July 16th, 2015 10:02am
I love you. I love you. I love you.
203rd Voicemail July 17th, 2015 6:30pm
Oh, anyway, I hope you’re okay. I just want you to know I love you and I would love to touch base with you again today. We haven’t, I mean we talked this morning you know, for a while and that was great. And just for a second this afternoon and I caught you at a bad time but, anyway. So I would love to talk to you this evening and say goodnight to you and stuff. So, anyway, I hope you are okay. I’m kind of getting a little nervous that you are not and I just want to make sure that you’re okay. So, I just need you to know that I love you very much and I’m not going anywhere I’m right here. And I’m happy about it.
204th Voicemail July 18th, 2015 12:30am
I had fun. It was fun. You got to see me. You are really cute on the phone. You are really sweet. I don’t. Now I’m just afraid I scared you off or something. Anyway, I love you. I just wish you would talk to me. Okay?
205th Voicemail July 18th, 2015 12:35am
Don’t take that away from us okay? It’s very special to me. You know that. I feel like you have been struggling tonight and I don’t understand why. And I’m trying to just be very caring and very understanding. You’ve hung up on me like 3 times. And I’m just. I guess I’ll just give you your space I understand that you need that and just know that it’s breaking my heart because I don’t know what’s going on. You just keep saying it’s fine, it’s fine. And usually when you do that something is really bugging you and I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s some other external thing. I don’t even know. I guess I will just give you the space that you need. Just know that I am really sad about it. Because I don’t know what is going on and I feel like it’s me and I don’t know what I did. If what I said was not how I think you took it and it wasn’t at all. So I’m very sorry that I said it in a way that you misunderstood and it came across in a different way. I’m very sorry about that. Anyway. I wish that you weren’t so mad at me right now. I hate it when you are mad at me. I wish that you weren’t pushing me away. I love you very much.
206th Voicemail July 18th, 2015 12:41am
Okay. I look forward to talking to you on the phone.
207th Voicemail July 21st, 2015 10:59pm
Um, let me know what’s going on because I’m kind of confused now.
208th Voicemail July 22nd 2015, 11:10am
Why won’t you answer your call, your phone? Why are you ignoring me? I don’t understand. I didn’t do anything wrong here.
209th Voicemail July 22nd, 2015 11:51am
Sam. I need you to call me. Please. Okay? I don’t know what’s going on. I just don’t understand why you’ve completely shut down on me. I didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong. There is absolutely no reason for this to have happened. I don’t understand. And you are saying to me I don’t understand why it gets like this and I’m like I don’t either. So why don’t you just give me a call and let’s talk about it. Okay? I love you. We need to figure this out because…
210th Voicemail July 24th, 2015 11:41pm
I don’t know what’s going on. You are ignoring me you are not talking to me and I just don’t know what to do. So just please call me, okay? I love you. I do. I’m sorry for whatever it was that I said that made you mad at me. I don’t even know what’s going. Thinking back over the conversation and thinking what did I even say obviously I said something so. I’m really sorry, please forgive me, please come back to me, please stop being mad at me. Please just call me okay? I love you I’ll talk to you later. Call me whenever you want, okay. I’m here I’m not going anywhere, okay? I love you.
211th Voicemail July 26th, 2015 11:46pm
So I see you don’t want to say goodnight to me anymore because it’s probably been about, well I guess Tuesday night we did talk. But other than that it’s probably about the last 5 nights or so you refuse to talk to me at night and I don’t know why. I don’t know what’s going on. One time you told me that you wanted to you know that you have this expectation, you were upset with me when I had texted you to say that I was going to bed or something like this. This was a while ago. And you got mad at me, you were like well I have this expectation that we would say goodnight, everynight. Well I now have come to have that expectation too and you know I’ve enjoyed that I like that. I like chatting with you and touching base with you at night, saying goodnight I love you sleep well you know that kind of stuff. And you’re ignoring me, completely shutting me out and I did nothing wrong here.
212th Voicemail July 26th, 2015 11:48pm
I need some communication. Without communication I don’t know what to do. Okay? I want to talk to you. That’s what I need. I need that. I need you to please call me. Okay? I love you, you know I love you. You know this. But I need to know that you love me too. And I need you to call me. Okay? I need us to talk on the phone. We can’t go to bed like this. I can’t have you just ignoring me like this.
213th Voicemail July 27th, 2015 10:04pm
Babe, there’s no way in hell for me to know that you really wanted to meet me tonight, again.
214th Voicemail July 27th, 2015 10:10pm
I promised you I wasn’t going anywhere. I love you but I just need to know what you want. I need you to open the hell up to me and tell me what you want from me. Tell me what you need from me. I can’t read your mind. Alright, I love you.

And more on it’s way soon 😉

4th Voicemail, 5th Voicemail, 6th Voicemail, 7th Voicemail – March 12, 2015

This was a few days after her brother passed away. We didn’t talk the night before because the phone messed up and she wasn’t getting my text messages to go ahead and call when she could. She woke up to my text messages finally coming through. She wanted to come over that night and I said yes. She had my address at this point and I told her I would come out to the gate and let her in. She told me she wouldn’t have much time to stay at all she would need to get home. We had a nice visit. I was starting to express this was going to be too hard because she was married and not able to leave until the show was still filming. I was a mess. She was very loving and reassuring. She said we would figure it out somehow. She knew she wanted to be with me and if I would wait for her, she would leave as soon as she could.

4th Voicemail 3-12-2015 8:36am

Baby. I’m getting flooded with texts from you this morning. Did I not get any of these last night? I wondered what happened and I’m now getting all of your texts and I totally understand your frustration. Oh my gosh. Oh, baby just answer your phone and talk to me, okay?

5th Voicemail 3-12-2015 8:24pm

Sam Cooper. I’m right out here waiting.

6th Voicemail 3-12-2015 9:47pm

Baby, don’t be giving up. Hey. What is going on with you? I know you are really stressed. I really do. I understand that. I’m just trying to make it easier. I’m like. I’m good here, okay? I’m good here. I don’t know why you are saying that about this, my love. I don’t know what’s going on. Call me, okay? I’ve got plenty of time, I’m driving. I love you. I, dang it honey give me a call. I’m fine doing this thing without you. I don’t know, I don’t know why you’re not. I’ll make it fast, so.

7th Voicemail 3-12-2015 9:52pm

Baby, I’m sitting here smiling and thinking about you, okay? Things are good, okay, we’re good. So, yes. I don’t know just call me. I’m fine. I’m fine, I’m good. I don’t even know. Just call me, okay. I’m thinking about all of the fun that we have together and I know that work is really stressful for you and having to be away and stuff like that. So I understand that okay. I’m not quite sure why you said you wanted to give up. I don’t know what I said to make you react like that and I’m sorry for whatever it was. Anyway, just call me, you know. I’m here okay, don’t shut me out, don’t break up, just call, I’m trying to…

Rated R

adult  Soon we will be adding 102 more voicemails to finish out the set I started with. I had to wait for Lindsay to rework them because the audio quality was crap. She was gone for a month. She had them all on youtube and on my blog as private then we yanked them. It’s been a process. She finished them tonight, put them back on youtube and now they are finally ready to go.

Some of the voicemails are sexually graphic. You will see a popup when you click their links, it will ask you to checkmark a disclaimer stating you are aware it’s adult content and some other warning thing my lawyers will write up. I have to do that by law. I will attach this warning sign in a smaller version right next to those. There are only 10 or so that are that way. The rest are more repetitive I called, call me back and a few of me getting yelled at Lol That was fun to hear again (Not really). Not sure when I will be adding them on here but it will be soon.

I had a dinner party tonight. My 2 cousins, my 2 sons, and my 2 friends. I had Josh and Ellie come by for pizza dinner, cupcake dessert, and we played cards. It was fun. I didn’t win because I’m not very good at cards but we got loud and laughed a lot. Josh won, he was pretty happy about that. Ellie was well liked, my cousin asked why we aren’t still dating. I said she’s too young, I have too much going on, and probably 3 other reasons I won’t mention. Josh took off, I walked Ellie down to her car and we said a different kind of good night that I had expected. It was interesting. We are friends, only friends. But there is still that small hint of something more. I’m going to have to work on that. Friends! That’s all I want. I’m going to be too busy very soon and I don’t want to deal with a relationship.

The babies are coming sooner than we all thought. They are very active, one had the hiccups today I guess. I was at work and missed that. But Son A is down lower and ready to move out anytime. Son B is laying up higher and apparently not ready to move anywhere. Both are doing great. I have finally shortened my list of names and I think I’m getting closer. The one solid name is still in the mix but I get so turned around with it. I think I am for sure calling the oldest one that name, then I change my mind a dozen times. It’s a very important decision to me. I want to pick good names. They last forever.

Work was fine today. I got caught up a little more. I had foster parent class tonight so I left early. It was my turn to stand up and share my story. There was only 6 people in class with me this time so it didn’t take long to explain that

  1. I’m not gay
  2. I’m eventually going to get married at some point and I don’t want to do this on my own forever
  3. I really am not gay
  4. I want kids in my life
  5. This way I don’t have to share custody with anyone and that makes it a lot easier in my life
  6. I’m NOT GAY!

I keep getting asked that because I say I am adopting them on my own. That’s always the first question. It doesn’t offend me at all. I laugh.

I need to do more shopping tomorrow after work and get more thing off of my list. I forgot some important items. The car seats arrived. It was hilarious me and Josh trying to hook them into my Escalade. He told me to have the hospital nurses make sure we did it right. I don’t know, I tugged on them pretty hard and I think we got it in there. But we will see. Those things are harder than you think. I even read the instructions.

Josh told me he would come help me whenever I need a break or if I just wanted help. That was awesome but he also said he plans on teaching them all kinds of awful things to do when they get older so he can be coo Uncle Josh. I told him we are not related and if he teaches my boys awful pranks there won’t be an Uncle Josh or even a Josh around for long Lol I really think they will be teaching each other pranks I doubt they will need help. I’ve watched enough twin youtube videos to see how little boys can be. With 2 of them, no one will fess up who did it and even if they did, I wouldn’t know what to do about it anyway. This is the part of my life where my patience is going to be tested over and over again. I’m ready for it. I know to see them with love, no matter if I’m mad or upset. Just take a step back, pause before I say anything ugly, then love them through whatever.

So tonight we started adding the Arcade back. Lindsay had one arcade on there but it didn’t work so she sent an expletive filled text message and I went with a different arcade plugin Lol It’s working. I have over 80 games but we have to test them out before we add them.

So far Pacman, Tetris and Mario Bros are on there. If you are on a mobile device, click Navigation and you will see Sam’s Arcade. They are flash games so you can not play them on your phones unless you download a FREE browser that will allow you to play flash on your phones.

I played Pacman off and on all day today. Tetris I only played once. Mario I played a few times. I miss playing Pacman. That game was the when I was growing up. I even had one of those smaller personal games with the little red joystick. Anyone else have that one? I had Atari growing up. Many a fist fights came from Atari playing Lol My little brother would step in front of the tv and I would pound on him until he moved. Then he would cry I would get the games taken away for a day or two and the next time I played he would do it again. Memories!

It’s getting late, I hope everyone had a great day. Get a good night’s sleep and say your prayers!

God loves you and I love ya’ll too!