Rated R

adult  Soon we will be adding 102 more voicemails to finish out the set I started with. I had to wait for Lindsay to rework them because the audio quality was crap. She was gone for a month. She had them all on youtube and on my blog as private then we yanked them. It’s been a process. She finished them tonight, put them back on youtube and now they are finally ready to go.

Some of the voicemails are sexually graphic. You will see a popup when you click their links, it will ask you to checkmark a disclaimer stating you are aware it’s adult content and some other warning thing my lawyers will write up. I have to do that by law. I will attach this warning sign in a smaller version right next to those. There are only 10 or so that are that way. The rest are more repetitive I called, call me back and a few of me getting yelled at Lol That was fun to hear again (Not really). Not sure when I will be adding them on here but it will be soon.

I had a dinner party tonight. My 2 cousins, my 2 sons, and my 2 friends. I had Josh and Ellie come by for pizza dinner, cupcake dessert, and we played cards. It was fun. I didn’t win because I’m not very good at cards but we got loud and laughed a lot. Josh won, he was pretty happy about that. Ellie was well liked, my cousin asked why we aren’t still dating. I said she’s too young, I have too much going on, and probably 3 other reasons I won’t mention. Josh took off, I walked Ellie down to her car and we said a different kind of good night that I had expected. It was interesting. We are friends, only friends. But there is still that small hint of something more. I’m going to have to work on that. Friends! That’s all I want. I’m going to be too busy very soon and I don’t want to deal with a relationship.

The babies are coming sooner than we all thought. They are very active, one had the hiccups today I guess. I was at work and missed that. But Son A is down lower and ready to move out anytime. Son B is laying up higher and apparently not ready to move anywhere. Both are doing great. I have finally shortened my list of names and I think I’m getting closer. The one solid name is still in the mix but I get so turned around with it. I think I am for sure calling the oldest one that name, then I change my mind a dozen times. It’s a very important decision to me. I want to pick good names. They last forever.

Work was fine today. I got caught up a little more. I had foster parent class tonight so I left early. It was my turn to stand up and share my story. There was only 6 people in class with me this time so it didn’t take long to explain that

  1. I’m not gay
  2. I’m eventually going to get married at some point and I don’t want to do this on my own forever
  3. I really am not gay
  4. I want kids in my life
  5. This way I don’t have to share custody with anyone and that makes it a lot easier in my life
  6. I’m NOT GAY!

I keep getting asked that because I say I am adopting them on my own. That’s always the first question. It doesn’t offend me at all. I laugh.

I need to do more shopping tomorrow after work and get more thing off of my list. I forgot some important items. The car seats arrived. It was hilarious me and Josh trying to hook them into my Escalade. He told me to have the hospital nurses make sure we did it right. I don’t know, I tugged on them pretty hard and I think we got it in there. But we will see. Those things are harder than you think. I even read the instructions.

Josh told me he would come help me whenever I need a break or if I just wanted help. That was awesome but he also said he plans on teaching them all kinds of awful things to do when they get older so he can be coo Uncle Josh. I told him we are not related and if he teaches my boys awful pranks there won’t be an Uncle Josh or even a Josh around for long Lol I really think they will be teaching each other pranks I doubt they will need help. I’ve watched enough twin youtube videos to see how little boys can be. With 2 of them, no one will fess up who did it and even if they did, I wouldn’t know what to do about it anyway. This is the part of my life where my patience is going to be tested over and over again. I’m ready for it. I know to see them with love, no matter if I’m mad or upset. Just take a step back, pause before I say anything ugly, then love them through whatever.

So tonight we started adding the Arcade back. Lindsay had one arcade on there but it didn’t work so she sent an expletive filled text message and I went with a different arcade plugin Lol It’s working. I have over 80 games but we have to test them out before we add them.

So far Pacman, Tetris and Mario Bros are on there. If you are on a mobile device, click Navigation and you will see Sam’s Arcade. They are flash games so you can not play them on your phones unless you download a FREE browser that will allow you to play flash on your phones.

I played Pacman off and on all day today. Tetris I only played once. Mario I played a few times. I miss playing Pacman. That game was the bomb.com when I was growing up. I even had one of those smaller personal games with the little red joystick. Anyone else have that one? I had Atari growing up. Many a fist fights came from Atari playing Lol My little brother would step in front of the tv and I would pound on him until he moved. Then he would cry I would get the games taken away for a day or two and the next time I played he would do it again. Memories!

It’s getting late, I hope everyone had a great day. Get a good night’s sleep and say your prayers!

God loves you and I love ya’ll too!

Who wants to get punched in the face tonight?

I wasn’t able to get to the gym yesterday because I was stuck working on things. My emails got backed up because I went to a ski resort in Utah all weekend. I was frustrated about that.

Tonight I made sure to get off work on time. Met Ben at the gym and decided it was boxing night. We hit the heavy bag and try to learn how to efficiently throw punches. There are a few guys in there that seem to know what they are talking about that help us out. Somewhere something got said about me sparring with someone else. I said no way. Someone called me a baby. So I said let’s do this.

Keep in mind I have been in a lot of fist fights. When I was younger. I haven’t been in a fist fight in…I can’t remember. In a fight I’m the guy that stands up and says which one wants some of this. Because I’m an arrogant prick due to my size. I’m 6’6″ and tower over most of the guys I see around. In a fight, I punch once in the mouth. If the guy is still standing I will take a shot at the eye. And if that doesn’t do it, another one in the mouth. When you are actually fighting you kind of just land punches wherever you can because half of the time you are moving or being moved and you throw one out there and hope to connect. I have never been knocked out. I’ve been knocked on my ass before. I admit that. I also admit to knocking more people on their ass than I have been. That’s not my point.

My point is this. I did not want to box tonight. I didn’t want to box tomorrow night of the night after that. I’m not in a boxing kind of workout mood. Especially with some guy who I know can out punch me. I’m a southpaw slugger. One punch is all I’m used to dealing with. We got our gloves on. The mouth guard in. Ding ding. Let’s ready to rumble? Oh s***!

So this guy, who I now believe must be in the boxing hall of fame, does this bob and weave move and knocks me right in the gut. Which lurches me forward. Wait! Is lurch a word? Did I just make that up from the Munsters or is that an actual verb? Anywho, I’m bent over a little and he clocks me right in the chin. We are about .000003 into the round. I decided that going toe to toe with this guy isn’t my best idea so I start walking away from him. Guess what guys? Never turn your back in a boxing ring! Not even to run Lol

He nails me in the side with a shot that unhinged an internal organ. I haven’t figured out which one yet because I’m still sitting here with an ice pack taped to my side. I will let you know later. I stumble forward but now I’m pissed. Not at him. He’s just doing what a boxing legend of his caliber is meant to do. I’m made at myself. But mostly, I’m mad at Ben for calling me a baby Lol

I turn around and decide to throw a punch. I hit mid-air. Proud moment, folks. I throw another one and this time hit the top of his forehead. Okay, wasn’t exactly where I was aiming but I’m drunk on pain. I let out some sort of prehistoric growl and unload a really solid shot to his mouth. It’s the only place I know to punch that’s effective.


He pulled his arm back so far, I had time to look at Ben, look back at the guy, and look back at Ben before his fist made contact. He knocked me right in the left eye. My good eye! And I stumble back 2 steps. Okay okay, I went back like 4 steps.

I know this may sound really stupid. But when you get talked into getting in a boxing ring you really aren’t thinking that this is going to hurt. You tell yourself, “I’m going to kick ass!” You run through all the Rocky movies you have seen and you try to guess what round you will knock your opponent out in.

I was done. Punched in the face. My EYE, MY EYE! All of it. I throw my hand up and said I’m done. Well with my mouth piece in it came out like I’m fuuuunnnnnnmmmmm. But I quit. I went over to the corner where I was called a few other names until they saw what I had already known. My left eye was starting to close up. Ben said, “Grab the blade we’ll slice it like in Rocky 3”. That started an actual debate on what movie that scene was really in. And no one was paying attention to my eye. So I left. I got in the locker room. Grabbed an eyespack, <— See what I did there Lol And left.

And now I’m home. I taped an icepack to my side. It’s sore. I have made a headband out of a pillowcase to hold an icepack to the side of my face and I’ve already called 5 people to tell them I kicked ass in boxing tonight.

I’m having a bad day guys!

Random radio

Image2Thunder basketball or Monday Night Football? My fantasy football running back is playing but I have already won this week. I am 1st in my league. I haven’t lost at all this year. Love that. I think I’ll go with Thunder game. I haven’t had time to watch them play so far.
Today at work was very busy. Things are going well. We brought back a lot of information from the New York trip and our brokers are working on the leads. I hope things improve.  Work is all I have right now and I’m trying to do a good job.
I have this deep saddness inside my chest lately. Peyton says it’s my heart missing her, but unfortunately that’s not it. I’ve been sad before, but not like this. This has a stronger awareness. I don’t like it, but I can’t fight it. And that concludes the beginning of a very bad rap song or poem. That could have gone either direction, ya’ll be glad I stopped it before it began. I wrote a list of things I needed to tell myself this week.
1. Don’t quit
2. I need you to know, I’m waiting to find myself
3. Pray, twice
4. Feel the feel
5. Laugh
All things that could be goals. Let’s revisit this list on Friday, see how I did. I can say 3 is a shoe in. I do that all of the time. God is on my spiritual speed dial. Always has been. It is His Love that has brought me to my Deliverance.
That damn Justin Bieber album dropped and that’s all they play on the radio. I’m trying to write and “What do you Mean” just came on. I can’t help chair dancing a little bit while I’m typing. Anything with a beat and a good hook has my attention.
Damned if I do, that’s how I feel tonight. I don’t even want to deal with the emails. There are way too many. My personal one is stuffed full. I have 13 voicemails and I honestly prayed to get 2 more so it would be full and I couldn’t accept anymore voicemails tonight. I’m not in a mood to talk much. I want to veg out with supper, watch a little basketball, hit the shower and go to bed early.
Tomorrow is going to be busy. Meetings, conference call, meeting, lunch, investment strategy meeting, and then lease review policy. Nice. Already dreading it.
I’m glad everyone is coming here to read my blog, but I can’t wait until next week when this whole thing will be over and I can have my blog back. I love having 2 comments a month and maybe 50 visitors. I like being a mystery. It suits me well since I remain a very private individual. Always have been.
Linkin Park is on now. That always makes me want to go lift and push so hard my arms burn from the shoulder to the wrist. I worked out 2 and a half hours this morning. Obviously very upset. If my tshirt isn’t drenched down the back I’m not happy with myself. I’m trying this new carbo-vegan muscle milk thing this week. It tastes like the back of a dirty quarter. After it fell in a vat of burnt rubber and Cheetos. I don’t like it, but it’s supposed to bulk me up. We’ll see.
Dang, my dinner is getting delivered on time tonight. Catch you later, alligator. Love ya’ll!


I have owned a house in Las Vegas for the past 8 years. I called it my condo because I only used it for boys trips for a weekend or vacations with my family or friends. It’s been a party place the entire time. And I’ve loaned it out to my friends so they can have a fun weekend in Vegas anytime they wanted. I upgraded it through the years and did a lot of landscaping out back. I finally sold the house. I am in a different phase of my life and owning a party house set up for movies/sports nights, pool parties, and all kinds of guy stuff just doesn’t fit my current life. I bought a rental house 2 blocks away from that house and moved into it. That’s where I’m living at for the moment. I’m going to be moving again soon. While I’m here I’m upgrading and changing out the flooring. It’s out of date big time. I already had a company remove all of the rocks in the backyards and lay down sod. I’m having to water it a lot so it gets some growth. I was told several times it’s going to die on me. But after a while it will grow. And be a nice grassed backyard. That’s what I’m hoping for at least. The inside of the house is pretty big. It’s going to be a nice family home for a family that is looking to upgrade. I’m getting a lot of the things fixed in the next 3 weeks. I think it’s going to come out really well.

I hired a kid a few months ago named Mark to help me start the Las Vegas firm. We have an office finally and are working on a lot of different investment deals. I had originally planned on flipping houses but it’s a softening market and I might get stuck sitting on them for longer than I want to. The price ranges I’m buying the houses for are great, but the upgrades and all the fixes leave a little profit. And that concerns me. So we are shifting things around and moving forward with our casino investments. I’m going to concentrate now on buying buildings. There are a lot of great opportunities here and I’m excited to see what kind of deals we get. I love buildings. I love standing there looking at it and dreaming in my head the things we can do with it. It’s like my own personal Monopoly game. Mark is doing a great job. He asks a lot of questions and gets things done on time. He is still not very confident but he’s getting more comfortable. He comes from the FLDS faith. He has 2 moms. Which is a little weird but they are both very nice. They both have long hair and wear long, homemade dresses. They are very pretty. He says they don’t wear dresses everyday but are always covered up. I guess that’s a religious thing. He is a nice kid and he’s smart. He is working hard to provide for himself, his family, and his Church. I guess his family still tithes to the FLDS Church because his dad and moms both have family still involved and he said if they stop tithing, they will always worry that their money isn’t going to help our their relation whether they agree with the beliefs or not. His dad and 2 moms left the faith before he was born. But they travel back to visit family and have to act completely different around them. I like Mark. He’s a good kid. I think he’s going to do a good job when I go back to Chicago. He is always finding things to check out or talk over. I like seeing how ambitious he is.

My construction business is booming. We have 12 divisions and they are all booked nonstop. Even in the winter time we have jobs lined up already. It is funding all of my investment firms and gas stations. Which is good since my gas stations are not doing so good anymore. I don’t make money on the gas, I make money on the things sold in the store. And listening to everyone we put in cafes to build up the coffee business. That’s the only thing saving my ass right now. Who knew coffee was so important? I don’t drink the stuff.

I’ve been able to travel and see my family a few times this summer. Being back in Nebraska is always a good time. So many memories of growing up there. It’s where I come from, but it was never my home. Texas is also one of those places I grew up but never really considered it home. I feel home in Las Vegas. I didn’t use to feel like it here.

Home to me will always be Chicago. It was my first big, bold, courageous move as an adult. I left Nebraska knowing I would never live there again. I loved my times in Miami and Miami Beach, year after year. But Chicago, man that’s a great place to live. I love it there. As soon as I get my businesses set up in Utah and Las Vegas I will be moving back to Chicago. And I plan to stay there for a long time.

I have met some interesting people in the past 5 and a half months of my life. All for the better. I have learned a lot and have found myself being more open and honest about my dreams. Work is finally calming down so I will have more time to write and read my books. I love read. I’ve been able to cook a lot more too. I usually prep everything on Sundays but this week I’m going to try to just cook. It’s different. I need different in my life.

I am adjusting to everything. A lot has changed the past few days and I am getting myself together. I know that things are going to be okay. This week at work is going to be tough. But no long hours. I’m getting burned out. I have a cruise to the Caribbean coming up soon. I’m looking forward to that. A week on a boat. I love to travel. I’ve been doing a lot of that. And I’m going to Dubai in a few months. I will stop in Paris on my way. I love going overseas. The Dubai office is finally starting to show a profit. It will be great to go see what my brokers there have purchased and what they are doing with it. It’s a booming part of the country and I’m proud to say I got in on it early. All of my connections through construction helped me find the right people to partner with to start a firm there. The laws are backwards and everything is 10 times bigger and more expensive than 5 years ago, but it’s a beautiful place on Earth. The architecture there is amazing. You can stand out on a hotel balcony all night just looking at the skyline.

I’m on my lunch break. I need to finish my sandwich and get back to work. I have miss ya’ll. I hope ya’ll are having a great summer! I love the comments. I only publish a few of them. The rest I just smile at. Thank you for coming here. You are loved!