Breaking down

Dear you,
I don’t even know who to write to anymore. I just feel like writing. I am in so much emotional pain tonight I can’t even hardly keep it together. Last night was the end of something we created, we nurtured, and we both longed for. I woke up this morning with the realization that you are gone. But yet, you aren’t ever going to go away. And I’m in hell with this pain.
It hurts so bad trying to live without you. My glorious moments I can’t even call you up to share and hear that Oh baby I’m so happy for you. All the funny things that crack me up I can’t tell you about. I laugh to myself and grab my phone out of habit. That’s when I realize I can’t dial your number anymore because you are out of my phone and out of my life.
When we started this, I didn’t know that the end would come so soon. I feel like we barely got started. I feel like we didn’t even really get a chance to see what we could become. 6 months of loving you has changed my heart.
You make me miss you.
You make me want you back.
You make me believe in hope that you will find me again because it was the same hope that brought us together.
Remember when we first started out and we both kept saying this is so impossible, how are we ever going to do this? It was you that kept me strong by saying because we love each other enough to make the impossible, possible. Somehow, someway we made it 6 months. And I am so very thankful for each second.
The same thankfulness I have for sharing our love is the same one that is killing me everyday I wake up without you.
I love the pain you have given me. It is a constant reminder of how great you really are. Because if you weren’t that special to me I wouldn’t feel it. But I do. I feel it in every heartbeat and every fake smile I’m trying to pass off.
My I’m fine game is at the highest level. It’s the same one you used for years.
I’m not fine. I am hurting.
And now I can feel the lonlienss that first made you give me a chance.
I love you. I just love you. I miss you more than you will ever know.
Love Always,


My response to the Tell All

All I have to say is I’m still in love with Meri. And I understand why she has to throw me under the bus. Kendra busted out our affair on June 1, 2015. She and Lindsay tried for months to squash all the rumors but it didn’t work. I want to thank Kendra for trying to protect us the best she could. She has unfairly been attacked, called a liar, and lost out on a lot of jobs and money opportunities because she stood up for me. I really appreciate her and consider her a new friend. Thank you Kendra. I know this has been really tough on you. I’m sorry about that. Anyone else claiming they were the first ones to write, publicize, or post an article in regards to our affair is lying. Kendra was the only one that figured it out first.

image image image image