Any holiday where my employees do not come into the office is a catch up day for me. I am at work and trying to get as much done before lunch time as I can. I promised Sarah to pick up lunch and bring it home. Then I will take over the babies for the rest of the day. It’s a really nice day out I’m going to get out their stroller and take them for a walk later. I haven’t done that yet. I have wanted to but I was waiting to really make sure they were okay and ready to get out a little.
I couldn’t sleep much last night. I had a headache but my phone kept going off. That’s what happens anytime it’s a Sunday. I get all kinds of comments, emails, texts, and calls. Everyone wants to fill me in. I stopped responding. I will read the messages but I really don’t have anything I want to add. I’m past that point. It is what it is. I’ve already said enough, haven’t I?
Things have been really great lately. I had a bad week and I was tired but over the weekend I did get caught up on all of my work stuff I needed to do. Minus the things I wanted to do. That’s what I’m working on now. We had a great weekend. It is always fun having a houseguest. I go out of my way to make everything fun and entertaining. I also got a couples massage and that helped me out a lot. I have been working out twice a day to get ready for the Chicago marathon. I have wanted to run in it the past 3 years but my health wasn’t ready for it. This year I’m going for it. I have been working on my legs to bulk them up and also running a lot. When it’s nice I go out for an hour-long run and try to beat the last set of distance from the previous week. My iPhone has a Health app built-in that shows me how much I have run in distance. It’s very helpful. I tried that Fitbit and didn’t like it. It didn’t give me the stat I wanted. Working out always puts me in a really great mood. I feel better, stronger. It makes me proud of how committed I am to my fitness and healthy lifestyle. Eating vegan controls my food intake but exercise is what keeps me in shape.
I’m trying to figure out what Sarah wants for lunch. We are texting back and forth here. She can’t decide. It’s a lot better than one of Lindsay’s lunch time suggests. A big white birthday cake and beer Lol I didn’t buy that we went for Mexican food instead but she said she sometimes just craves birthday cake. Her birthday has already come and gone. I don’t know why she would crave that. She has lost a lot of weight. The past several months she is walking a lot and hitting the gym at night. I’m proud of her. She is also not drinking as much. That is probably helping out a lot. She said her mom passing away made her realize she’s not invincible and she has definitely ate everything she has ever wanted to eat her entire life. She is working with a nutritionist friend to help get her eating habits changed. I told her go vegan which she is doing for a few meals each week. The problem is her husband. Or I should say soon to be ex husband, Ben. He is a meat and potatoes guy. He doesn’t think going vegan is good he thinks it deprives your body of a lot of key nutrients. He couldn’t be more wrong. I told Lindsay that’s why you should divorce him Lol They are getting a divorce because she only got married to make her mom happy. It was one of her dying wishes to know Lindsay would be taken care of. The fact is she has always taken care of herself and everyone around her. She just wanted to make her mom happy. Now that her mom has passed, she wants a divorce. She had a tiger shark pre-nup so Ben is getting what he brought to the marriage. She is also throwing him a little money to help replenish his bank account for anything he did spend the few months they were together. She also calls it Shut Up money so he won’t tell anyone any dirty secrets Lol I’m sure there’s a lot. She disappears all of the time and never says where she went or what she does. She gets on her phone and takes off to talk to whoever it is. Then comes back as if nothing happened. They are going to the attorney on Friday to see what they need to do to get the divorce started. The weird thing is they are going to continue to be together and live together. She said she just wants the option to get rid of him if she suddenly gets sick of being in a relationship. He accepts it. I don’t know who would, but he does. I have never really understood those two. They couldn’t be more opposite if they tried yet he loves her a lot. He treats her very well and he really lets her be who she is. He doesn’t put up with her, he enjoys her. I’m glad somebody does because all she has done is frustrate the heck out of me for almost 21 years now Lol She is a pain, demanding, bossy, defiant. In fact she is the most defiant human being I know. If you even think of telling her no, she is going to do exactly what she wants despite the protests. She said she only asks me things as a courtesy and I only waste her time trying to talk things over before she decides. She said her life would be much simpler if I just quit trying to stop half of the things she does and stops emailing her all together Lol I wish it were that simple!
So I’m playing catch up. I enjoy my quiet office. I look forward to seeing everyone tomorrow. For now I need to get back to work and try to figure out if Sarah wants Greek food or Thai. She can’t decide.
I hope everyone has a great Memorial day. God bless our lost loved ones. You are all missed. I love you and God loves ya’ll too!
For months now I received 3 or 4 fan letters via email. Anytime the show kicks back in that number increases. People just want to share their thoughts with me. I do read them. Well actually the truth is Lindsay reads them first to make sure they aren’t mean. Then she forwards them to me. Lately I have been getting about 10 to 15 fan letters each week. People are starting to believe in me more and more. Not for anything I’ve said or done lately, simply by watching her actions and inactions. She is causing that, not me. I read this one this morning and want so share it. Thank you Melinda. When I am off work tonight I will write you back. I promise.
You are not a catfish. I believe that you did not catfish Meri Brown. I am probably writing this so it can fly into oblivion of your deleted messages but I have to at least try to say this. I keep watching the show this season and all I keep thinking every week is how much Meri is still in love with you. She acts like it without the words behind it. She gets this look in her eyes every single time she begins to talk about you or mentions you in a coded reference. Many of us saw the messages back and forth on Twitter last year for months that hasn’t even been mentioned once. That was not flirting. Look at her Twitter account now that she is back in the cult. Nothing positive. Nothing full of love and heartfelt messages of hope. Her entire tone online has changed into this dark, bitter world of unrest. She looks terrible. She looks tired all of the time and still stressed. I can’t imagine what she is going through. Worse than that I can’t imagine what she is feeling. She isn’t hiding her feelings for you very well. She continues to drag you into the next week like she just can’t let you go.
Are you so sure there is no hope for you two to reunite? I think she misses talking to you. I think she misses all of the attention and passion you gave to her. I don’t think she is navigating being back with him. He isn’t acting like he cares. Why is this huge emotional fair not put this couple into therapy together? Why is it a family therapy session followed up by Meri trying to drag her daughter into therapy? And even Janelle? The main relationship that was damaged here is between Kody and Meri yet no mention of them in therapy together and no evidence they are even trying to…I guess work anything out. Yes he gave her a pass on the entire affair. Yes he acknowledged they have struggled for years. But no one is mentioning the one glaring fact that is apparent to all of the fans of this show. That Meri was much happier when she was talking to you. She was seen out in public having a huge smile on her face all of the time. The two times I have seen her at Walmart she has this lost look on her face still. She is willing to take photos with people but she doesn’t say too much. She used to. She used to ask if they watch the show and what you think about it.
Is anyone buying all of this? The family is skating on thin ice. A lot of my friends that used to watch the show refuse. How are the ratings really going? We hear mixed messages. I know you said some advertisers have pulled out and it seems that way because there are no commercials from companies that have never been among the supported brands we have all known for years.
I’m sorry to Meri but I just don’t see this as a catfish. All of the evidence points directly to a love affair. You don’t talk the way you talked in the voicemails or send the kind of text messages if you are truly scared of someone. You don’t hide the fact that you were talking to a man for months from your family. Last night I watched your daughter out you. She was not supportive, she was not happy to see you. She was hurt. You hurt her Meri. She has every right to feel embarrassed and humiliated. I would be if my mom had been caught sucking on a banana the day of my 20th birthday. You can tell Mariah knows more than she is saying. My guess is TLC edited out a lot of what this child actually said. She did not look comfortable talking about it. Last night during the show Meri tweeted out when Mariah is ready to talk she will. This show was filmed months ago. So Mariah has still not talked this out with her mom? That shows right there how much truth is in all the things you have presented on your blog. Mariah knew about you Sam. She knew what was going on and no one is mentioning the Disney trip.
Kody is as oblivious as a rock. He simply does not care about Meri anymore. You can see that. No painting, no apology, and no amount of new-found family loyalty is ever going to repair what she broke. They won’t even let her take Solomon on a road trip. They don’t trust her. Did Meri assume during the Tell All everything they all said was actually true? Kody said there’s no fault on Meri’s part yet he is stll punishing her. They spend no time together. They don’t sit next to each other and in almost all of this season you don’t see Meri wearing her wedding band. Why is that? If she is recommitted to this family that thing would be glued on. She is still lonely. What makes it worse this time is that Sam is still out there waiting and Meri knows it. He is moving on with his life yet we haven’t seen any new relationship or even mention of dating. Meri could come back to him. She could choose love instead of obligation.
Will she ever leave to follow what her heart is screaming at her? She is so clearly still in love with you Sam and I’m not the only one that is noticing this. She has lied about you. I’m so sorry she is doing that. Forgive her. Go get her. She needs you. You have a lot of support from people who want her to get away from Kody. You should try to get her back before it’s too late. She said multiple times how sweet you were. How loving, how kind. She always talked about how much she loved you. The things you said to her in text I have waited my whole marriage for my husband to say even one of those things. It is obvious how much you two loved each other. She is still in love Sam. She really is. I know you said you aren’t watching the show anymore but I’m telling you what I see. She hasn’t forgotten you. She keeps bringing you up.
I know you probably won’t even read this or Lindsay will and delete it before it sees the light of day. I kept thinking to myself why am I writing this email. I felt I had to say what has been on my mind for weeks. Please read this. You don’t even have to respond just know that you do have supporters out here. We are silent but we are here.