Cooper Kids in Colorado Springs

My whole crew arrived last night. They hate the AinBnB house I rented Lol That doesn’t really surprise me. They are going to look at a different one with a better layout. With all of the people in the house it is a little cramped. We can’t really move around as a whole group. Oh well. I tried. I know they will find somewhere better that will fit all of our needs for the weekend. I’m so happy to see my babies! I gave everyone a million kisses and hugs. I held each one for about 10 or 15 minutes each and just told them how much I missed them and loved them. My neck is still painful but I tried to tough it out. It was so good to see the girls. Nothing has changed. Lindsay acts like she owns, runs, and bosses everyone. The 3 nannies roll their eyes and argue. I stand there trying to calm both sides down but laughing because their insults are both nasty and funny. I don’t even know what a “dark path ho” is but I think it’s bad. It sounds bad.

Everyone ate a snack of sandwiches and chips. Bath time was extra fun and so was storybook time and prayers. My boys wanted to be with me so I scooped them up and put them in my bed. We talked for a while and I got to find out they got new toys. I figured. Aunt Lindsay seems to think to fix a broken child’s heart you go shopping. It’s ridiculous. Whatever is at my house right now that’s excessive is getting donated. I asked her what it is and she said don’t look in the backyard so I’m thinking she went and bought the gigantic fort swingset that I said DO NOT GET THAT ONE. We will see.

Oh man I missed their little faces. I’m feeling better, happier, and more calm knowing they are all okay. It’s been a rough month or so and I just hope we can get through it.

We have zero plans other than a big cookout tonight. I’m putting out the whole spread. It’s going to be huge. I have a ton of prep work to do but I’m finishing up my grocery list. I have a ton of things to go get to make sure I have all the things I need. I’m just waiting to see what house they pick out.

It’s so beautiful here. Walking outside, it just feels good. I really like this part of the country. I have been to Apsen, Vail, and Breck a million times to snowboard and ski but this is the quiet part. I really like it here.

I hope everyone has a great day. This morning I finally caught up on all of your messages. Some great suggestions and I really appreciate all the support. Things will get better and thank you for the prayers. I love ya’ll! I will update you guys soon.

Is this fun yet?

I have been in Colorado Springs over a week now and it’s not as much fun as I thought. I’m limited to the things I can do or actually move around to do. My neck is getting there but geez already. I’m very impatient with this whole thing.

My attorney has finally sent me all of the paperwork from my pending divorce. We have to wait a certain amount of days to officially file it but my soon to be ex-wife has already signed everything. She has agreed to uphold our pre-nup with 2 changes. She wants  X and Y and that’s that. No problem. She wants no visitation of the kids. That’s the part that literally breaks my heart. She keeps telling her family she’s still very much in love with me and maybe we could have tried counselling but she feels how she feels about having a family life right now and isn’t ready for all that it is.

My attorney has suggested we file for an annulment under fraud but I refuse to do that. Her changing her heart about the kids in her life isn’t fraud. I don’t know what the heck it is, but I don’t think it’s a fraudulent act. We will divorce not annul. The steps we have to go through for the divorce are going to take a long time. That’s the hard part. I have never in my life wanted to be divorced. That’s why I waited so long to get married. It’s humiliating to end up divorced after all I’ve been through. I know it’s the right decision for me and my kids, it’s just not wanted.

She still hasn’t even attempted to see Talon. I have no idea what’s going through her life or mind right now. I know she’s in therapy. I know she’s trying very hard to stop contacting me since it does make things worse. I was told to keep all messages but don’t respond. It was harder to ignore the calls, emails, and texts but that’s getting easier now.

I do miss my wife. That’s being honest. She just turned into someone I don’t even recognize. I thought we had a great life. I thought she was very happy with the kids. I mean I take them on. She doesn’t have to. She had the interaction time she wanted. My nannies have always been the ones to help me, not her. None of this makes sense. I thought for a little while she might be cheating on me but that’s not the case as far as I know. I know I didn’t cheat. I’m not that guy. My vows were supposed to be life long.

Legally separated. It sucks. It’s getting better and I do have a very bright future ahead of me. Love is right there for me. I know all of this.

So now how do I tell all of my kids what happened to mommy? I have no idea how to handle this at all. Any suggestions?

#Barcelona #Spain was awesome!

We spent the first weekend family trip in Barcelona Spain. My wife has wanted to go there for a long time. We got in there Friday night. It was only an hour and a half flight. I didn’t realize that. The hotel we stayed in was amazing! It was really nice and my wife loved it. The kids had such a great time. We were able to do some tourist things. We didn’t have a guide. My wife told us the places we needed to go which were very close to the hotel. I was very happy to see how many things the boys and I could eat there. Spain has a great vegan selection. Very fresh veggies and a great variety. We went into a grocery store and they have an entire section. It wasn’t even that expensive.

We went to an art museum, toured a historic cathedral and spent the day on the water. I loved it. We will definitely be going back. It wasn’t that hard traveling with all of the kids. Our nannies had fun and they were able to get some time off to go exploring on their own. The one thing I didn’t like about Barcelona is all of the wandering animals. We saw so many dogs just walking around. My wife said it was sad but I said they all looked fat so they get fed.

We definitely will be going back someday. We have a lot more to see in Spain. Next trip my wife wants to go to London. I have no idea when that will be. I think some time in May.

Hope everyone is doing great. Sorry I haven’t updated much lately. I’m at home with the kids all day and it’s hard trying to find time to get anything done. I’m still struggling to find a good balance.

Easter Blunty

I’m pretty sure Lindsay smuggled Pot into my Easter basket. I have no idea how it didn’t get caught going through all of the places during shipping. It’s this tiny little piece of something green. I had to google a photo of actual pot to compare it since I really don’t know what pot looks like. I mean I’ve seen the t-shirts with the leaf thing on it. That’s pretty much all I knew. She swear it’s not pot and told me to eat it. I said no way Lol I threw it away after crushing it in a baggie. I didn’t want a bag of pot in my trash bin for the garbage guys to see. I also wrapped it in a paper bag and my wife said I was being paranoid. I don’t know why she would mail something like that but she swear it wasn’t pot. It sure looked suspicious.

So tomorrow we are finally going to get through the Easter party. We have colored eggs. We have Easter baskets ready and my wife has done a great job picking out our Easter outfits for Church. It’s been a lot of fun but a lot of work. 4 kids, guys. That’s not easy to get things together anymore. My wife has been working so hard at her new job she said she feels neglectful. She is doing a great job putting work stuff away until after all of the kids are in bed. I’m working really hard on my business startup but I am completely failing on the working part. My kids are very active and need/want my full attention all of the time. I can get a few things done early in the morning, during nap time if they all actually lay down at the same time (Rare) or after they are all in bed. Honestly as soon as they are all in bed I’m so exhausted I just want to lay on the couch and crash. Some nights I have even fallen asleep on the touch and wake up to my wife poking me. It’s hard work. My nannies help out but I really want to do this. I wanted all 4 of my kids. I want to really be hands on with every experience. My nannies mostly help me wrangle them while I’m cooking or cleaning up. We had 3 we are down to 2 because the 3rd one was really doing nothing. Brandi handles the day stuff and we have 1 night-time nanny that comes in. She doesn’t live with us. She only comes in 3 nights a week. That way I have 2 nights on, 1 night off, 2 nights on, 1 night off and then we reverse it the next week, 1 night on, 2 nights off. That’s how I’m able to get enough sleep to keep going. It’s working out well. My kids love their nannies, my wife loves the extra help and so far we are managing.

We have had some discussion about moving back to Chicago. My wife said our visas are only for a few years and we would need to make a decision soon on our citizenship. Her job requires certain things and she does want to work her way up the ladder. However, she’s not going to make it as far as she thought she would here. She has a much better chance back in the States. That was something we just didn’t know. Her career is very important to her. The problem is she absolutely loves Paris and so do I. We love it here. We wanted the culture, the proximity to other countries and all of the fun of living abroad. It’s not really be hard being here. We all speak French and most people here do speak English. Everyone has been so nice and kind to our family. We have really tried to be good neighbors and citizens. We don’t want to move back. Her career is something my wife has worked very hard at and she said it would literally break her heart if she had to move. She said it would feel like we failed. It’s a discussion for now but we do have to decide by the beginning of next year. All of the paperwork it takes to get us all here and legal was a nightmare. It took MONTHS. MONTHS to file all of it. Then you have the interviews. And with us we had home visits. We had to prove every kid belongs to me. Of course then came the question of why is my wife not on their adoption papers. Well….she didn’t want to be.

Now she does Lol She said I have kept my word in being a faithful, supportive, loving husband. I have proven that I do treat her like my kids mom. I have never tried to treat her any different. She is their mom. I picked her specifically because she had no problems at all with being a stepmom. She was the one that said from the beginning she wasn’t going to adopt them. In case of a divorce she wanted to be able to visit but not have full on joint custody because of her work schedule. She wouldn’t be able to do it. I understood, I didn’t like it but I knew that there was no way in H E double hockey sticks that I was ever going to share custody with anyone, anyway. That is not who I am. Our marriage is really strong. It’s actually been a lot easier than I thought it would be. I kept hearing how marriage was this or that. It is that way if you treat your wife like an employee. I don’t do that. I treat my wife with respect, no matter how pissed off she makes me Lol I do not do personal attacks. I don’t name call. I deal with things. We talk it out. When we do get mad and I need to go walk away for a few minutes to cool off she allows it. She knows me well enough to know that I’m not going to explode in anger and just start yelling at her. I never have. I’m mostly pretty calm all of the time. I get more upset at Lindsay than I do my wife. That’s a good thing. She decided a few months ago she wants to adopt my kids. I’m very happy to hear it. She was going to be their mommy forever anyway. I don’t believe in divorce. We will be going back to the States for Peace’s birthday this year. That’s at the end of July. We have a court date that same week to do the full adoption. It’s cost me so much money but it is very worth it. I’m happy to share these kids with her. She loves them with all of her heart and it doesn’t matter that they are adopted. I know this is the right choice for her. I also know our marriage can make it through anything. I mean I married this woman and immediately said here’s 3 kids that aren’t biologically mine, come help me raise them Lol She did. She has, She wants them. I love her for that.

We have a lot of really cool moments with our kids but the best is when we see how affectionate they are. My boys love Peace so much. Now that she’s crawling around they just want to be with her every minute of the day. She loves her brothers. Little Talon is growing so much we just don’t know what to do with him. He is 2 months old and the size of a truck driver Lol What a sweet little baby he is.

I honestly haven’t been happier with my life. Things turned out the greatest. I got past some really bad moments and I kept hope alive. I knew my life would turn out better than it was. I’m sorry my mom isn’t here to see how I turned out. I know she is watching me from Heaven and knows that I’m doing okay. That’s all I ever think about. I’m sad for my kids who will never know grandparents or their Uncle on my side. My parents and brother being long passed away is something we will explain to them in time. I wish they were all here. I also am sort of glad they never have to be around my dad. He wasn’t a good person and I honestly don’t think I would have let him near my babies. I want a better life for them than I had.

I’m so happy that Easter is almost here. I just want it to be a fun day and enjoy all of the food we are going to make. One more day and we can finally start the festivities.

I hope everyone has a great Easter! Make the day about the kids and family time. Enjoy the blessings you have in your life and remember that God sacrificed so much for all of us. Without His death, we would never have a life like this. God Bless everyone! We love you all!

Happy Birthday to me! I’m 45!

Yesterday was my giant birthday bash. We had all of the family and friends come over that wanted to join us in the celebration. They also wanted to meet Talon. And we decided it would be the perfect time to do Talon’s baptism. Why not, we had everyone here anyway. We have been flooded with family and friends for days and I love it. I love having all of our people around us. My kids love it and my wife loves it because she gets a much-needed break. Her sisters and mom take over with the kids immediately. She said she does feel a little guilty at first but then she sees how much fun they kids are having and she just says God bless and lets them do everything Lol I enjoy it too because I also get a break.

We had a huge birthday lunch set up in the guest house. My wife and I have decided any and all parties can be held in there so we can deal with the mess later or at least avoid a huge mess in our house. It’s easier with 4 kids around to just do it there. We don’t really let the kids go in there yet. They don’t have any toys in there and it’s not set up for the babies at all. It kind of became our catchall for the stuff we hadn’t unpacked yet but as soon as I moved in we did 1 box a night until it was emptied out. Now we have both bedrooms decorated and set up, the mini kitchen in working order after some new plumbing and flooring installed and the fireplace finally works. It’s good enough for our guests when they want to come visit. It’s also a main reason we liked the house. It’s a nice size property and we got very lucky that we got it at the price we wanted. It used to be a AirBnB property but the guy wasn’t making much money with it anymore because he hadn’t updated anything. As soon as we bought it we immediately had the crews gut some of it and fix it up. It was a very time-consuming task for my wife because that’s her joy in life, redecorating. She’s even redecorated me with better clothing. I’m a t-shirt and jeans guy after work or on weekends and she has stepped up my attire. I appreciate it because some of my t shirts I’ve had since college Lol It was tough to see them go but they were all faded and worn out.

The party was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed my presents and cake. I loved that all 4 of my kids were with me and that my wife got to see my face when I opened up her big gift. She got me a Disney Paris Fastpass! For everyone. We get to take the kids there as much as we have time for. I love it! We haven’t been yet and now we can go. I’m really excited to see the difference between the places of Disney I have visited. I wonder if they have any rides or attractions I’m not familiar with. I wanted to go right away and take the whole family but my wife said no. Talon is too young still for that much outside time and she said we had enough going on this weekend.

That evening we went to Church in our Saturday best and baptized my son Talon Andrew “Paul” Cooper into God’s Kingdom. I cried, my wife cried, Talon did cry. He did not like the water going on in his head at all. Lindsay and Drew are his godparents. Lindsay was very well-behaved for the entire event. She wasn’t a brat this time. Drew was so proud to hold Talon after it was over. I love my 2 best friends are in charge of my kid’s spiritual well-being. Lindsay bought Talon a ridiculous diamond cross with diamond rope chain. He looked like a mini-rapper Lol It’s going in the safe and he can have it when it’s 21. It was insane. Drew gave Talon his bible when he was a kid. That was such a sweet and special sentiment. I thought he would give it to his own son but he said he gave his cross to his son and his family bible to his daughter. I thought that was really cool. I love Drew’s kids. They call me Uncle Sam even though we aren’t blood related. They truly are my niece and nephew anyway and I would do anything for them. I miss seeing them grow up but I’m glad for the times they come over to visit.

Everything has been great. Our family and friends love it here, they have been going out in small groups to visit the city. The weather hasn’t been that bad. Things are going great. We haven’t even run out of food yet. We are also enjoying some time talking about how things are going. We get updates but it’s not the same as in person. My in-laws are planning a big cruise for them and all of their grandkids next year. They are saving up to be able to afford the flights and the cruise tickets. We donated a little money to them for that and they took it. They have a lot of grandkids Lol I think that’s a great idea and I pray they are both able to take that trip. They love their grandkids so much and do everything for them. I love seeing Peace laugh and smile when her grandpa blows on her cheeks. It’s very cute. She adores him and his funny hair. She always tries to pull on it.

Everyone has enjoyed Talon. We have been kind of shi**y about everyone washing hands before they hold him but we have a ton of people here and we don’t want to cover him in germs. He’s getting a bath 2 times a day to help get him cleaned up. He doesn’t mind baths at all so we got lucky with this kid.

I feel very loved. Thank you all for the nice birthday messages. I read them today and started to reply. My Facebook blew up with all the great messages. I appreciate you guys for taking the time to think of me. I love you all and can’t wait to head to the states soon.

Lindsay and I will be leaving tonight to head out for our book tour. I will be gone for 2 weeks. I am going to miss my wife and kids so much but we wanted to get this book tour done now before Talon gets a little older. He’s in the very easy stage right now. He has his little routine, he has his nannies to help out and it sounds like my wife’s parents want to stay a little longer. That’s fine, whatever they want to do we will rearrange their flights home.

I am all packed up and ready to go. I just want to enjoy the next few hours with everyone and talk to my wife about a few things. I will be able to update you guys daily on my tour stops. I’m very excited to get back to the states and enjoy some of my favorite food! I will see some of you soon!

They are 2 and I’m getting old

Yesterday was our small family birthday party for my twins Heston and Alex. It’s still too soon to have a bunch of people in our home with Talon so we are waiting to do a bigger party for them in March with all of our family and friends. Because of the way Talon came into this world being sick my wife said we are holding everyone off to come meet him for a month. Whatever she wants to do I’m fine with. She knows best.

I was dressed in my Batman suit because it was a full on Batman party. I’m not going to be dressed up on the next party Lol No way. I realized how hard it is to sit down in that thing and it takes forever to get it on and off. I had to have help getting out I had sweated so much it felt glued on. However…

My boys loooooooved it. That’s the first time they’ve seen me in it. I have put it on a few times for my wife (Don’t ask Lol) and that’s been it. It still fits, which is amazing after how much we all ate during the winter. I’m happy to know it’s still in pretty good shape after all of these years. The hard part today is I have to clean it all up and that takes about an hour.

We had vegan cake, regular cake, ice cream, vegan ice cream, and an assortment of snacks. I took my boys out for a special birthday surprise. We got to meet some Super Heroes at a book event that just so happen to be on their birthday. They won’t know it was just a book event and not part of their actual party so we won’t tell them that until they are older. I got a ton of photos with a lot of the characters holding or behind my boys. It was really cool that when I said hey it’s their birthday today they all let me take photos with everyone. I had to buy 4 books but that’s fine because I like to read that type of book anyway. The other 3 copies will be mailed off to friends.

Seeing how much my boys have grown up, it’s crazy. I remember them being tiny little guys and how scared I was to even change the first diaper. I always felt like I was going to hurt them when I held them wrong or if I wasn’t sure how to hold them up on my shoulder the first few times. Now I just whip right through all of it with no problems. I was all alone when they were born. I had no wife, no girlfriend, no plan. Just me and my boys. Now I have a family for them. I have contact with their birth parents which is so important for me and them. We know their medical history and we also pretty much know what they will look like as they grow up. I’m so happy my amazing little boys are living a happy, stable, life. I’m doing my best everyday for them to make good choices and not get overwhelmed. I’m very patient with my kids and even when they are screaming bloody murder and I’m getting mad I keep my head cool and remember they are just little kids.

The hardest part for me about having twins is when I’m giving attention to one the other wants in on it and I try to balance that. I don’t know how to do it other than just try to keep focus one at a time when needed. Honestly most of the time my boys are either with me or they are near me. They really don’t leave my side that much during the day now. I love it. I don’t like the WWE style beatings they dole out on each other but I know that’s just boys. I remember my brother and I duking it out when we were little and it was a constant whooping that he would get Lol But I always hugged him later and said sorry. I know they will be best friends their entire lives. I want them to remain close to each other and close to us. I don’t care how old any of my kids are, they will always be my babies and even now when I’m out-of-town I make sure I call home a few times a day because I want to and I want to know how everyone is doing.

I love my boys so much. It’s indescribable how much I love my kids. I tell them everyday several times a day I love them and they are finally getting to say it back. They are smart. Man, are my boys smart. They will be smarter than me someday I know that for sure. I want to provide a happy home. I want my wife and I to continue to nurture them, teach them, but also let them figure things out on their own. I will always be here for my boys. Always. I know my family and friends will be too. I’m so happy things are going great. I know that my wife loves them with all of her heart and when we go back to the States for summer vacation she is seriously wanting to adopt all of the kids. She was the one that chose not to. I asked her to adopt but she said no. Then she realized that she is their mom. She feels it, she wants it, and I’m happy she figured it out. I knew she would eventually. I even told her when they all turn 18, go ahead and adopt them. I know that her hesitation was about me and my past and nothing to do with not wanting my kids. I have proven over and over I have changed and I am making better choices. I have proven my complete dedication only to her and I have given her no reason at all to worry about me and other women. Those days are done. Thankfully I got all of that out of my system before my kids were here. I have calmed down, I’m a lot nicer, and I really try hard to be thoughtful. She sees all of that. She said I really am her soul mate and these kids belong with us both in Heaven. She’s taking care of whatever legal steps we need to do and I will happily sign any paper to give her rights to my babies. I trust her with my kids. I trust if we get a divorce we will split custody (And that will be in any new paperwork Lol) but I also know that I will work with her. My kids are our kids and I’m doing my best to make sure everyday she feels like their mom. I think having Talon sealed it for her. Knowing we have a child together, knowing the best thing is to keep all of the siblings together. God forbid anything happens to me, I do want all of my children together. I knew Lindsay would always have them together and that’s why she was in my papers to take custody. She said she’s happy to give them up to my wife, but she also had an hour-long conversation where my wife said Lindsay basically told her if she visits and sees the kids in disarray she’s stealing them and taking them to Mexico Lol I’m pretty sure she means it. My wife just laughed but I got a pang in my heart like Oh god she would do it.

My boys, wow. 2 years old! We made it to 2 and I haven’t lost my mind yet.

Happy Birthday Heston William! Happy Birthday Alexander James! I love you with all of my heart and I hope we made your 2nd birthday very special! Long Live Batdad!


Regular life with a lot more money

Sorry I haven’t updated much lately. We are very busy at home with 4 little kiddos. Talon is almost 2 weeks old. It if already flying by. He is perfect. We went to the doctor to see how his weight is doing. He is on his mom’s breast milk. He’s gaining. He’s thriving. No issues at all. My wife had some questions about breast-feeding that wanted to make me throw up but it’s good she’s asking Lol I googled 2 of the things she was talking about and am very glad I didn’t just ask her what she was talking about. Yuck.

Peace is doing great! Our daughter is growing up so fast. She loves her little brother and we have put them in the crib together for a few naps. Not often though. We have limited who is around them. With this bad flu season still ongoing we have been vigilant. We hosted our Super Bowl party in the guest house so NONE of our guests would be near our kids. We showed them all of our kids via our webcams Lol We had to flick over a few times during the game to see who was up. And to make sure one of the 2 nannies we had in the house was taking care of whoever woke up. My wife and I had flipped a coin before the game. I lost, which meant I was the on duty parent when anyone woke up. I made sure they were tended to, I fed whoever needed to be fed then gave them to their nanny to rock back to sleep. I missed some of the game but not much. Thankfully my wife had pumped 4 bottles that day to make sure I had enough for the overnight.

Speaking of this breast pump. In Nebraska growing up I saw how they got milk from dairy cows. It’s very much the same concept. My wife throws her utter in the plastic thing, she pumps this red ball thing and out comes milk. It’s very weird. When she bought it she told me don’t do anything weird with it. I just laughed because I thought she meant don’t shoot any toys out of it to entertain my boys. Noooooo. That’s NOT what she meant Lol When I realized a day or so later what she really meant I told her I was OFFENDED! I would never try to milk myself. In..any…way…. Lol Yuck! I’m sure there is a guy out there somewhere that tried that. It’s not me and as far as I know it’s not one of my friends. Although it would not surprise me at all if it was one of my dumb buddies from college that tried that once.

Life is great. We are at home almost all of the time. If I have to do any running or errands I try to take my boys who stay in the truck with security or a nanny. My wife and I try to get the boys out together a little more often but we just lose track of the day. We have so much going on with feeding, diapers, baths, bedtime. It just goes so fast. I have rare me time to workout or read my emails.

I’m very VERY happy I’m not working anymore. Our money is great and Lindsay is working very hard to make sure we are getting in a fair share of income. My first January check from the businesses was amazing. Wow. She is really doing well for everyone. She is going to do a round of bonuses soon and then we will wait to do raises for our Hawaii trip this year. I can’t wait to put little Talon in the ocean for the very first time. I still remember putting Peace in there last year and she was so cute.

Life is amazing! I couldn’t be happier. I hope everyone is doing great. I’m going to try to update more often. I have a lot I want to talk about. Living in Paris is fun but there’s a lot of paperwork that goes with it. Until next time, guys! Love ya’ll!