194th Voicemail – July 8th, 2015

Just another day where we talked a lot and texted a lot. So in love.

194th Voicemail 7-8-2015 12:44am

Hey baby. Sorry I just saw your text it just barely came through. So yeah I’m just reminding you to call me because it’s been like an hour since you showered. Okay. Give me a call, I love you, bye.



192nd Voicemail, 193rd Voicemail – July 6th, 2015

We are still in love and still spending a lot of time together or talking on the phone. Things couldn’t be better.

192nd Voicemail 7-6-2015 10:55am

Baby. My baby. Baby. Baby. Call me back, baby. Can you tell I listened to your message. Baby? Baby? Mmmmhmmm, baby.

193rd Voicemail 7-6-2015 12:21pm

Hey I’m done so. Call me whenever you want if you have time. Hope your day is going well. Okay. I love you. I’ll talk to you later.


191st Voicemail, July 5th, 2015

This is the most ridiculous thing Meri ever said to me. She was crocheting something and we had been joking about all the silly things you can cover up with crocheted covers. Like a toaster cover and such. She said she could make me a hat. Then it turned dirty and she said she could make me something else Lol To cover a body part up and then we both died laughing. It was the most hilarious thing she had ever said and it caught me off guard because she had never made a joke like that before. We probably laughed for a half hour. That’s what those texts are in regards to. It cracks me up thinking about all the things she said about making a cover for it. I was crying I was laughing so hard.

191st Voicemail 7-5-2015 6:34pm

Oh lord. Please don’t tell me you still not done it’s been 45 minutes. I love you, call me back. Bye.



190th Voicemail – July 4th, 2015

190th Voicemail 7-4-2015 3:11pm

Baby, my baby. Give me a call when you can. Love you, bye.

Meri and Robyn had went to see the movie Age of Adeline in the theater a few weeks before this. She said she wanted to watch it again. I had never seen it. I found the link online, sent it to her and we watched it while I was working on emails from my house. It was a great movie. It’s full of historical references. I’m a history nerd. Love those kinds of films.

On the 4th of July the entire family went up to St George, Utah where Robyn is from to enjoy the festivities. Meri told me that they chose to go there because Kody and Robyn like their 4th of July events there. Everyone went, except Meri. She wanted to stay home to be with me. These are the photos I have. 20150704_144412 20150704_144442 20150704_144511It’s the back of Meri’s house and showing the yard.


Img_0258 IMG_2250 IMG_2251 IMG_2252 IMG_2253 IMG_2254 IMG_2255 IMG_2256





189th Voicemail – July 2nd, 2015

189th Voicemail 7-2-2015 10:41am

Hey just wanted to call and tell you that I was thinking about you and I don’t want to interrupt your work I know you are busy. But I just miss you and love you and feeling greedy for you today. Anyways, I hope you have a fabulous day and I will talk to you as soon as you’re able. She had to wear pajamas that fully cover her up for their religious modesty reason. It was really hot in Las Vegas so I told her I would help her pick out a lighter pajama set because she had been struggling to sleep. I sent one from Target I found online. She went and picked it up and took this photo modeling it. She said she slept a lot better that night. She said she should have done that years ago but because of him she had to follow their beliefs. She said she was going to start wearing shorts more often too, it was just too hot.

20150703_221438-1 20150703_1726 20150703_1724


This was a typical day. We are both working but making time for quick phone calls and texts back andforth. Very happy and in love. 20150702_084638 20150702_204130-1 IMG_2233 IMG_2234 IMG_2235 IMG_2236 IMG_2237 IMG_2238 IMG_2239 IMG_2240



185th Voicemail,186th Voicemail, 187th Voicemail, 188th Voicemail – June 30th, 2015

Kendra was the first one to figure out we were having an affair. We were doing everything we could to stop the rumors. Even cleaning up my twitter account to erase off any tweets that may elude to more than friendship. Nothing was working. The rumors kept growing and Kendra kept digging up more and more info about our relationship. She kept asking Meri and Lindsay what was going on, but neither one of them would tell her anything. Lindsay only said to her “I don’t know” over and over again. This conversation was about rumors in Kendra’s group about our affair and how frustrating it was to keep hearing about it daily. I was not calling Kendra a liar. I was calling someone else that was asking questions after Kendra figured this out the liar. Because she is. But I refuse to give her any attention on here.

We had been walking together for a couple of months. First in the mornings and then later we added in at night too. It was to rehab my foot. I had broken my foot in 3 places months ago and I had to relearn how to walk properly. My foot kept going off center. My rehab lady told me to walk a lot a certain way to rehab it. If I wasn’t able to walk with Meri we would talk on the phone while she walked. This morning I was still mad from the night before so I took off at the same time but on my own. She saw me and decided to call. I ignored it. Then I picked up the next call and we had a disagreement about something she said to me. I didn’t like what she said but I had gotten in the shower and was getting dressed in eating. So while I was busy she kept calling me and I didn’t even know it.  Meri thought I was more upset than I was, but I had let it go already. She was a little worried that I was still upset. So we were discussing that. We made up later that night. She came over and we talked it out. She was ready to move out and leave him. She was tired of all of it.

185th Voicemail June 30th, 2015

Baby. You are scaring me. Talk to me. I love you.

186th Voicemail 6-30-2015 7:14am

Saw you and thought it looked like you were probably walking. So I thought I’d just give you a call. Okay, call me back if you want to.

187th Voicemail 6-30-2015 7:52am

Samuel I’m sorry that you felt like that was a comparison. All I was saying was I had that (With Kody). I know what that feels like. That’s not what I’m looking for with you. Do you understand. That what I want with you is something deeper and stronger. And more passionate. It’s what we have. We have something more passionate then I have ever felt and you know that.

188th Voicemail 6-30-2015 7:58am

And I wasn’t comparing you (To Kody) and anyway. You know what? Guess what. If I were compare you, you win on all counts. You win on all fucking levels. Now I’m pissed. You don’t think. You don’t think that I think that you beat out? You don’t think that I think that you are taller, better looking. Very much better looking by the way. Kinder. Sweeter. You care about me. You want me. You say that you are willing to fight for me. You say all these things about love and affection and passion. So yeah if I were to compare you. You win. All the time. But that was not a comparison. It was I know the pain of that. That’s all that was. And that’s not what I want with you. I think you need to just. I am fighting my darndest for you right now. Because I feel you slipping away. And I’m fighting when everything in me tells me, all my history (With Kody), excuse me, all my history tells me to just back off and let go. And I’m not doing that with you. I told you I wouldn’t and I’m keeping that promise that I’m right here. But I know that it makes you mad when I. It’s you. And all I want is you Sam. All I want is you. And I just keep fighting for you and I just keep pushing you away.



Img_2210 Img_2211 IMG_2212 IMG_2213 IMG_2214 IMG_2215 IMG_2216 IMG_2217 IMG_2218 IMG_2221 IMG_2223



180th Voicemail, 181st Voicemail, 182nd Voicemail, 183rd Voicemail, 184th Voicemail – June 29th, 2015

This is when I found out she was going on that Alaska Trip. And I was pissed off. I was not at all happy about that. But I let it go. I’m pretty good about letting stuff go. I just need to say what I feel then I’m over it. We were fine in a few hours.

180th Voicemail 6-29-2015 2:02pm

Hey I’m just sitting out here with Mosby and the last little potty break until I end up having to film. So, I’ve got a little time right now so I thought I would give you a call and say Hey, how is your day. I hope everything is going well. Okay, I love you I will talk to you later.

181st Voicemail 6-29-2015 6:03pm

Exasperated sigh back. Okay bye.

182nd Voicemail 6-29-2015 8:30pm

You had asked me to push you. That’s what I’m doing. So quit sending me to voicemail, please. I am pushing you and I am trying to tell you, you need to stop.

183rd Voicemail 6-29-2015 8:31pm

Okay, I’m telling you again I’m pushing you. I need you to stop it please. You don’t need to hang up on you that wasn’t very nice. This is my 5th call, 4th message. I think. Or 3rd. Now I’m confused. Anyway, I’m pushing you. So please call me. Please answer my phone…

184th Voicemail 6-29-2015 8:32pm

Still sending me to voicemail. Okay I don’t know how many times I’m supposed to do this. But I know it will piss you off if I keep doing it. I’m in a catch 22. You say please push me, please push me, please tell me that I’m being a jerk and you need to stop. Okay. I think you are being a jerk and you need to stop. Okay? But I’m not going to push you enough that it’s going to piss you off anymore. Because I know you are already pissed off. Anyway, so there I’ve done my 8 texts, I’ve done my messages.  I don’t know what else to do for you because you are not answering. So…


IMG_2140 IMG_2141 IMG_2142 IMG_2143 IMG_2144 IMG_2148 IMG_2149 IMG_2150